Danse Macabre

An Immortal Lychee's page

57 posts. Alias of quibblemuch.


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Happy Day of the Dead everyone!


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Damn you Kevin McCallister! Damn you and your wacking booby traps!

*gets out head-staplin gun*


Drejk wrote:

*poke*

Are we live?

Nope.


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The first two hundred years of accordion music were the worst. The second two hundred years were also the worst. Then it got bad.


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Six of one, toMAHto.


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They tell you they're 'finals.'
But they never are.


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Thomas Seitz wrote:
...if Thanos arrives and asks "Who will join me in bring death to the universe?"

Sure, yeah. Happy to, big guy. I just gotta pick the kids up at Gymboree and swing by the dry cleaners first. Mind if we grab take-out on the way? I know this great poke bowl place. It's imitation pokemon meat, but I swear you'll never be able to tell the difference. Wait, is it Tuesday? Crap, I totally spaced. Lillian's got her book club, so I need to be at home with the rug rats. What does your next week look like? Tell you what, just shoot me a text and we can sync our Google calendars and bring this death thing to the universe. Man, life used to be so much simpler in necrocollege...


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A necromancied thread.


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Pshaw. Everyone knows healing is an evocation. Why else does it burn so badly?


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Wait, did the thread about having a relationship with a historical person just become a necromancy thread? This got dark...


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Rise... rise... RISE!!!


The Raven Black wrote:
What is so bad about being Evil anyway ?

Getting smote.

Seriously, that s&~+ hurts. Like, a lot. And not just your feelings get hurt either. But, like, the crunchy parts too.


TriOmegaZero wrote:
Chromantic Durgon <3 wrote:
Getting them to inform on there allies may be maddeningly painful for them, but at the end of the day you've not killed or harmed anyone. You've simply coerced someone magically.
And left them with the memory of it as well. Once you're dead, the suffering is over. Fireball is actually kinder in that regard.

In a cosmos with an afterlife this is not, strictly speaking, true...


This sounds like a good idea, and could be useful in my current... predicament... as well.

What will you do with your existing husk?


I miss having hair...


Food. Pfft. Food's for n00bs.


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Physically Unfeasible wrote:
Golurkcanfly wrote:
We live in a universe where death always has consequences.
Really? Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear. Oh f#%@.

Meh. Don't worry too much. You can always get better.

Just watch your pronunciation. Seriously, I canNOT stress that enough.


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Wait, that baby was going to grow up to bring about the--? I mean, of course I knew that. Everyone knows that. You all saw it, right? It was totally going to bring about the end of the universe...

Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap...


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You're all forgetting the exorbitant cost of paladin repellant.

Oh, and potpourri.

Those two will really eat into your margins.


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That which is not living cannot truly die,
something something something, more advice here guy.


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You could make an oradin with the Bones mystery...

I'll show myself out.


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I care.


Pish.

Whippersnapper.


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Well, whatever you do, make sure you get the ritual's pronunciation right. Trust me on this. Magic is very finicky about that.


*scoffs*


*defies*


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The problem is, creating a hardcover of Carrion Crown is a lengthy process,

Spoiler:
involving the soul of a good man, a skull assembled from bone fragments of war victims, the heart of a werewolf packlord...


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MageHunter wrote:
How does necromancing work in space?

In space, no one can hear you necromance.


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♫Like a lich over bloody slaughters,
I will flay ye down...♫


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captain yesterday wrote:
It paints a whole new picture of Scarborough Fair.

Palely Bone Sage rose, buried untime?


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captain yesterday wrote:

In Starfinder the Whispering Way changed their name to Song Of Silence.

Thus confirming my conspiracy theory that the Whispering Tyrant is in fact Art Garfunkle.

So Paul Simon really was the only living boy in New York...


♫I close my eyes only for a moment
and the moment's gone
all my posts pass before my eyes, a curiosity,
dust in the wind
all they are is dust in the wiiiiiinnnnddddd♫


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Vidmaster7 wrote:
Well I did see a lich in another thread... but actually he might of been a lychee.

You don't know me! GAH!

*flounces upstairs; listens to The Smiths; sketches bats on tombstones*


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Vidmaster7 wrote:
Are you suggesting I become a small fleshy pink fruit?

We've been over this. My pronunciation during the ritual was off. I DIDN' T ASK TO BE FRUIT! I HATE YOU ALL!!

*storms upstairs; listens to The Cure; journals*


Vidmaster7 wrote:
Well if you do figure something out for the getting old part do let me know.

I have a suggestion...


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LuniasM wrote:
John Napier 698 wrote:
The mounted stuffed heads of animals and other beasts begin acting as if they were alive. Pleasant Dreams, yinz B**ches.

ANCIENT SINS. ANCIENT SINS. ANCIENT SINS. ANCIENT SINS.

ANCIENT BLOOD AND BLACKENED SKIES. THE FOREST DARK SHALL ONCE MORE RISE.

I've really got to fire my taxidermist...


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That which is not living
can never enjoy fries
something something something,
what's up there eldritch guy?


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PossibleCabbage wrote:
I'm sure there have been a great number of fantasy creatures that have been driven to extinction over time. It's just there's always wizards/gods out there trying to make a better Owlbear.

Like my prolls™. Part pig, part troll, we can feed a village for the price of a single magically hybridized animal. Prolls. The food of the future... today!


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UnArcaneElection wrote:

Not really that great a benefit . . . you can really get burned by that Sunlight Vulnerability . . . .

Now, Lich, on the other hand . . . .

Yeah... just, you know, be careful how you pronounce that.

*heavy sigh*


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157. If you do try to become an evil immortal Necromancer Warlord, the word rhymes with "itch." Magic is very strict on correct pronunciation, as I learned to my chagrin.


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Klorox wrote:
Actually, you CAN play a Paladin an an all evil campaign... freshly fallen, of course :D

Ah, I do love to drive out into the countryside in the autumn to jump around in all the freshly fallen paladins...


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I do love some good apocalypso.


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"Eox! Eeeeeeeeox! Daylight come and me want some new bones..."


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BigNorseWolf wrote:
In a D&D based fantasy world you're also consuming part of their very being, their soul. That has consequences...

I'll say it does! A moment on the lips, an unlifetime on the hips, amiright?


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Groetus and...

Groetus.

Because you gotta do something while waiting for the end of the world.


Horror Adventures has a 3rd level spell called appearance of life that makes undead creatures of Medium size or smaller appear as if they were living humanoid creatures. It lasts 10 minutes/level. It's not great for walking around the city all day, but if you need an hour or two of milling around with minions, it'll do.

Eventually it can be made permanent via permanency, but that doesn't happen till 12th level and costs 10,000 gp.

******

If they're intelligent undead, consider outfitting them with hats of disguise. They'll still have to look like undead, but you could have them pick a kind of undead that appear pretty much living.

******

At higher levels you can use the seeming spell to disguise even unintelligent undead as less objectionable undead. And at even higher levels veil will make them look like anything you want.

******

You can also go the mundane route (which has the advantage of not being penetrated by true seeing). I would say the Disguise check probably has at least a -4 penalty (being a different race and "age category" if you count "dead" as a fourth age category), though I could see it going as high as -10. That would be a GM call. Still, if your Disguise skill is high enough, you should be able to thwart most casual Perception checks and people will only notice if you do something to call attention to the creatures.


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Tar-Baphon.

It's entirely possible that, with his pre-emptive elimination, Ustalav would be a cheery, fun-loving country, known for its colorful native costumes and rich, delicious cheeses.


1. A necromancer, to animate the corpses of those the party kills.
2. A second necromancer, to animate the corpses those animated corpses kill (plus, it's not fair that one guy has to buy all the black onyx).
3. A cleric necromancer to channel negative energy to control the renegade spawn of those killed by the dead animated by 1 & 2.
4. A paladin, to spawn "should the paladin fall" threads.


Awkward for whom? I'm comfortable with my bodily functions. Or I was, back when I had them, before the Ritual...


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Fun fact:When it comes to precise pronunciation, necromancy is the most demanding school of magic.

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