Mighty Pogonos's page

DAVIIIIID!!!

Important question:

Today marks the longest I've ever grown out my beard (three weeks). Should I shave it off?

NEVAAAAH!

I still need to shave.

OH NO YOU DON'T!!!

<.<

>.>

Wait... Since when real men don't wear beards?!

SINCE NEVER - THAT'S WHEN!

NOBODY HAS BEEN 'FORCED' TO MARRY MIGHTY POGONOS. THE QUEUE TO BECOME JOINED IN HOLY MATRIMONY TO THE LORD OF SIDE PARTINGS STRETCHES ALL THE WAY AROUND THE PLANE OF CONCORDANT OPPOSITION AND BACK.

POGONOS AND HIS CELESTIAL BRIDES RULE SUPREME IN THEIR GLOSSY, BOUNCY AND CONTROLLABLE DEMI-PLANE, FROM WHICH SPLIT ENDS AND DANDRUFF HAVE BEEN BANISHED FOR ALL ETERNITY. WE EVEN MANAGED TO CURE PULG OF THE MANGE.

Well, out of the goodness of my heart I will take you all under my wing.

We begin with tithings...

O-oh tithings of comforting hair, comforting hair,

SHE MAY JOIN POGONOS' LEGION OF CELESTIAL BRIDES.

BY THE DIVINE COMMAND OF POGONOS, IT SHALL BE SO!

Does

Your

"Beard" hang low, does it waggle to & fro, can you tie it in a knot, can you tie it in a bow?

Pogonos!

He doth bless the pup with abundant fwuffifness.

His might can be seen in both the bear's grizzled pelt, and the sheep's soft wool

He stretcheth out his hand, and lo! The upper lip is no longer unclad; the chin is covered over with a rich jungle of manly strands; the cheeks as luxuriantly appointed as those of the gorilla.

The merest bum-fluff is as dear to him as a foot-thick Victorian chest-warmer; he blunteth the razor, and giveth to all men hirsuteness in good season.

Aggressive goatees are some of the most precious of Mighty Pogonos' face-children.

Dang it, my goatee has officially become a beard.

HAHA! MY SPONTANEOUS CHINFORESTERISATION POWER STILL WORKS!

Just clean-shaved for the first time since before I met my wife. Seeing her tomorrow should be fun.

{Appears in the sky, pouting and glaring at Tequila Sunrise}

BOOOOO! PUT THAT RAZOR DOWN!

{The eyes of Mighty Pogonos glow red with anger. His beard bristles and bolts of lightning shoot out from it, burning Johnny Depp Puppet to a crisp}

NO, HE DOES *NOT* WANT A SHAVE!!!

I must say, I am truly enjoying oiling and brushing my face every morning.

I look and smell good.

I wish I had discovered this level of hair care earlier in life. But mom had a hard enough time with me shaving with a pack of cheapo disposables(which have done enough damage to my face, thank you very much), much less a straight razor.

Sometimes its about the journey, but I would have liked to keep my face a bit less...rugged, maybe.

MIGHTY POGONOS IS PLEASED THAT YOU ARE PLEASED, AND PLEASED STILL MORE BY YOUR FURRY PHIZ AND USE OF CHIN UNGUENTS.

MIGHTY POGONOS MAY BE NUDE, BUT YOU CAN'T TELL, AS THAT DIVINE BEARD COVERS A LOOOOT OF ACREAGE.

And we finally have pics.

I'll work on getting more of NobodysWife (you can thank me later, Freehold). I think it came off rather well...
...and we're going to see Sabaton later this month, and everyone wants me to go dressed as Joakim. Should be hilarious or horrible...

MIGHTY POGONOS APPROVES OF THE SCULPTED HANDLEBAR/ELONGATED SOUL-PATCH COMBO. KEEP IT UP, AND HE MAY REWARD YOU WITH A SUNSET YELLOW 1998 VOLKSWAGEN POLO, OR THE EQUIVALENT IN FLOUR.

MIGHTY POGONOS APPROVES THIS MESSAGE. HE WILL SEND YOU BLESSINGS, IN THE FORM OF A WARM CHIN.

IF YOU HAVE NO FACIAL HAIR, YOU CAN WARM YOUR CHIN WITH A SNOOD, OR BY HOLDING YOUR FACE NEAR A FIRE. YOU CAN ALSO MAKE TOAST ON A FIRE, THOUGH IT IS UNWISE TO DO SO BY TAPING BREAD TO THE FRONT OF YOUR HEAD AND THEN LEANING IN CLOSE TO THE FLAMES

POGONOS HATH GAZED UPON THE STONE GIANT.
WITH HIS EYES, THAT DO FLASH LIKE THE LIGHTNING BOLT, HE HATH SENT OUT BEAMS OF BLESSING, AND HARK! A LUXURIANT COATING OF LICHEN AND OTHER MOSSES DOTH FORM ON THE GIANT'S CHIN, FOR BY THE WILL OF MIGHTY POGONOS, NO BEING, LARGE OR SMALL, SHALL GO WITHOUT A RICHLY FURRED PHIZZOG

CAPTAIN I IS VER MUCH DISSAPROINTED BY YOU

I need to shave.

OH NO YOU DON'T!!!

CORRECT!

i'm in an all dwarves gestalt kingmaker right now! just started but having a blast.

BUY MY BEARD!

I DON'T NEED TO!

Because then they wouldn't have awesome beards/moustaches?

PRECISELY!!!!

Yuck, shave those beards off please.

ARANNA!

DO NOT PROVOKE THE WRATH OF MIGHTY POGONOS!

THANKYOU!

THIS TOWN AIN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US, HORATIO!

I need my goatee because otherwise I look just enough like one of my a!!$&+$ brothers to piss me off, also without it my face looks too short for my liking :-)

In the winter I go full on beard, facial hair makes a huge difference when it's cold as f*++ out :-)

I AM THE GOD OF FACIAL HAIR AND I BRING YOU...

BEARDS! (DUR DUR DUR)
I WON'T LET YOU SHAVE!
BEARDS! (DUR DUR DUR)
THE FACE WEAR OF THE BRAVE!
YOU MUST WEAR A BEARD, DUR DURDURDUR DUUUURRRR!!!!

Aniuś the Talewise wrote:

i wonder what style of beard would look best on me

I vote for no beard.

HERESY!!!