Cheapass Games

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You and your friends are entrepreneurs in 1997, who have discovered two problems with a common solution: Mad cows in England, and unexploded bombs in France.

You will buy a herd of well-meaning if somewhat delusional cows, march them through the bomb-strewn fields of northern France, and "disable" all the bombs you can find. This is just plain good for everyone. Except maybe the cows.

Unexploded Cow is a fast-paced, wacky card game from James Ernest (Cheapass Games) and Paul Peterson (Guillotine, Smash Up), with hilarious new artwork by Cheyenne Wright. Don't let the brand name fool you: this Cheapass Game is super-deluxe, and comes with everything you need to play, including 81 full-color cards, 78 money tokens, and even a 6-sided die.

Contains: 81 cards, 78 money tokens, 1 die, rules
Playing Time: 25 Minutes
Players: 2-6

ISBN: 978-1-59100-029-7

Our Price: $10.00

Discontinued

Fish Cook is a simple strategy board game about being a master chef. It's an original design from James Ernest, but it also has a fake back story about being invented in France in 1909.

In Fish Cook, players compete to make the best recipes (and earn the most money) through careful planning and a little good fortune. Each "day" is divided into two parts: In the morning, players visit the Fish Market and the Farmer's Market, buying ingredients as cheaply as they can. In the evening, players use their ingredients to cook recipes and earn money.

You can cook any recipe you can see, which sometimes means copying a dish that another player has already made. When you do this, you might actually steal that recipe into your own menu. That's worth some prestige, which comes in the form of bonus points at the end of the game. Oh, and if you don't cook your fish by the end of the day, you will have to throw it away!

Fish Cook is simple, clever, and lots of fun.

Contains: 36 cards, 2 boards, and 108 counters (all in full color)
Players Need: Money (denominations of $1 and up) and at least 12 6-sided dice
Playing Time: 40 Minutes
Players: 2-6

ISBN: 978-1-59100-030-3

Our Price: $10.00

Discontinued

Keep the Truth alive!

In Veritas, every player is some version of the Truth, struggling to survive the Dark Ages. You do this by being copied in books in monasteries. And every turn, one of those monasteries burns down.

The board is a map of medieval France, showing monasteries, cities, and roads. On your turn, you can make more books (by copying) or take over more space (by moving). Eventually, stacks will contain books from several players, but the player on top is in control. Score points by controlling entire regions of France, and score 100 points to win the game.

Veritas is a original and exceptional area-control game, designed by veteran game designers James Ernest and Mike Selinker. It has been in development for nearly 10 years, and it's now available for sale for the first time. Pick it up today!

Contains: Board (8 sections), 96 counters (all components are full color), rules
Players Need: About 40 stackable counters for each player
Playing Time: 60 Minutes
Players: 3-6

ISBN: 978-1-59100-031-0

Our Price: $10.00

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Sail the Tiny Little Seas in yer tiny little ship, in Captain Treasure Boots!

Captain Treasure Boots is a fast-moving game of pirates and plunder. Players gather treasure from islands around the board, and bring the treasure back to port. Treasures are worth points, but they also give you special abilities while you carry them. So you'll have to decide how much to keep, and how much to cash in.

Of course, treasure is never safe aboard your vessel. Players can attack each other and steal treasure. The board is also home to a few Privateers, which are extra pirate ships that can be controlled by anyone.

Captain Treasure Boots is a new version of a popular Cheapass Game from 2006. The new edition contains new rules for just about everything, as well as all the treasure tokens you need.

Contains: 4 modular boards and about 80 treasure counters (in full color), rules.
Players Need: A pawn for every player, two 6-sided dice, and a way to keep score.
Playing Time: 40 Minutes
Players: 2-6

ISBN 978-1-59100-032-7

List Price: $40.00

Our Price: $36.00

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Lights, Camera, Fall off the Roof!

Deadwood Studios, USA is a board game about acting badly. Players take the roles of bit players at a Western backlot, moving from set to set and trying to make a living. Some roles are easy, and some are hard. As you gain experience, you can tackle harder and better-paying roles. In the end, the best actor rules the day!

This is a deluxe reprint of an original Cheapass board game, Deadwood, which was nominated for an Origins Award for best board game of 1999. Now it's a whole lot better, with improved rules and full-color graphics by Phil Foglio and Cheyenne Wright. Unlike cheaper Cheapass Games, Deadwood Studios, USA comes with everything you need: dice, cards, boards, and counters.

Pick up your copy today. Your line is "Yeee-Haaww!"

Contains: 4 game boards, 60 cards, 216 counters, 12 dice, rules.
Playing Time: 60 Minutes
Players: 2-6
ISBN: 978-1-59100-033-4

List Price: $17.00

Our Price: $15.30

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Welcome to Lucky Mansion. Again.

You and your associates are treacherous villains, each secretly bent on killing a despicable old man. But he's not called "Doctor Lucky" for nothing.

Get Lucky is a simple, light-hearted card game about murdering an old man in his house. It's based on the classic Cheapass board game, Kill Doctor Lucky. The box contains everything you need: 72 cards, rules, and a pawn to represent Doctor Lucky.

Contains: 72 cards, one pawn, rules
Playing Time: 20 minutes
Players: 2-6
Recommended Age: 12+

ISBN-13: 978-1-59100-034-1

List Price: $9.95

Our Price: $8.96

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Pairs is a “New Classic Pub Game” designed by James Ernest and Paul Peterson. It’s a simple press-your luck card game with no winner, just one loser. The deck is 55 cards, numbered 1 through 10, with 1x1, 2x2, 3x3, and so on up to 10x10. It’s simple, fast, and fun.

The Pirate deck has art from cartoonist Brett Bean, and features two pirate-themed variant games, Port and Starboard. Port and Starboard are both endurance games: in Port, players try to outlast each other for points; in Starboard, players gamble on the luck of a shared hand. The Pirate Deck also has a variant for the basic game, called “Pieces of Eight.”

ISBN-13: 978-1-59100-037-2

List Price: $10.00

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Pairs is a “New Classic Pub Game” designed by James Ernest and Paul Peterson. It’s a simple press-your luck card game with no winner, just one loser. The deck is 55 cards, numbered 1 through 10, with 1x1, 2x2, 3x3, and so on up to 10x10. It’s simple, fast, and fun.

The Goblin Deck was created by fantasy artist Pete Venters and contains images of goblins through the ages, from Stone Age goblins to goblin mobsters and even cyber-goblins. The deck also contains the rules for a bonus game called Goblin Poker, a gambling game for 3 to 8 players.

ISBN-13: 978-1-59100-040-2

Our Price: $10.00

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FALLING is James Ernest’s original real time card game, in which everyone is falling, and the object is to hit the ground last. One player deals while everyone else falls. There are no turns, so players can play cards at any time, without waiting for their turn. The dealer sets the pace of the game, which only lasts about a minute and a half.

This is the 2014 edition of FALLING, featuring a new deck recipe and all-new art by comic legend Val Mayerik (co-creator of Howard the Duck). For those familiar with the game, “Push” and “Grab” have been consolidated into “Move,” and there are three new permanent riders: Anvil, Parachute, and Goggles. These new riders are optional, but add plenty of spice to the game.

FALLING was nominated for an Origins Award for Best Traditional Card Game in 1998, and was listed in the GAMES 100 in the same year. It’s been through several editions, but this is absolutely the best one so far!

Contains: 55 cards, rules
Playing Time: 2 minutes
Players: 4-8
Ages: 12+

ISBN-13: 978-1-59100-046-4

List Price: $25.00

Our Price: $22.50

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Stuff and Nonsense is "the Inevitable Aftermath of Professor Elemental's Imaginary Polar Expedition," an adventure game about never leaving London. The players move about the city, collecting artifacts and stories, and then return to the Adventurer's Club to tell made-up stories of adventure. This game plays something like a board game, though the board is made entirely of cards. The mechanics revolve around collecting sets of cards, while trying to avoid meeting Professor Elemental, and deciding which destinations to pretend to return from. The cards are filled with humorous text and whimsical illustrations by Harold Fay.

List Price: $25.00

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Welcome to Friedey's, the Fast Food Restaurant of the Damned. You and your coworkers are zombies with lots of chores to finish, but only one Brain to pass around. To win, you must finish your work, and empty your hand. But to do that, you'll probably need to get your hands on the Brain.

Give Me the Brain is James Ernest's original Zombie Fast Food game, the first in a series that also includes Lord of the Fries, The Great Brain Robbery, and Dead Money.

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Part of Cheapass Games' Fast Food Restaurant of the Damned line and the follow-up to Give Me the Brain, the mechanic in Lord of the Fries is simple: combine the ingredients in your hand to build combo meals, with dishes like the "Cowabunga", the "Meat Munch", and, of course, the "Lord of the Fries". This SuperDeluxe edition of Lord of the Fries contains the original restaurant menu (55-cards), plus a completely new Coffee Shop menu with all-new art and ingredients (also 55 cards). Each deck can support up to six players, with a third menu using ingredients from both decks which supports up to eight players.

Our Price: $10.00

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This stand-alone expansion for Lord of the Fries is set at Las Cabezas Mexican Restaurant. The deck contains all new art and ingredients, with a new menu for 3 to 6 players, and instructions for combining the deck with the core game to create a deck that plays with up to eight players.

Our Price: $10.00

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This stand-alone expansion for Lord of the Fries is set at Friedey's Long Wok Chinese Restaurant. The deck contains all new art and ingredients, with a new menu for 3 to 6 players, and instructions for combining the deck with the core game to create a deck that plays with up to eight players.

Our Price: $10.00

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This stand-alone expansion for Lord of the Fries is set at McPubihan's Irish Pub Restaurant. The deck contains all new art and ingredients, with a new menu for 3 to 6 players, and instructions for combining the deck with the core game to create a deck that plays with up to eight players.

Our Price: $10.00

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This Pairs deck features glorious Zombie fast food art by Brian Snoddy from Lord of the Fries and its many expansions.

List Price: $10.00

Our Price: $9.00

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This Pairs deck features amazing, all-ages, pin-up art from Echo Chernik's Goddesses of Food series, and contains rules for a variant game.

List Price: $8.50

Our Price: $7.65

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Cheapass Games is re-launching BRAWL, a fast, furious, realtime battle card game for two players. Each Character Deck (Bennett, Chris, Darwin, Hale, Morgan, and Pearl) in this updated edition of BRAWL features updated graphic design and packaging, complete with a rulebook packed with extended description of each character's strengths, weaknesses, and strategy hints.

Our Price: $8.50

Discontinued

Cheapass Games is re-launching BRAWL, a fast, furious, realtime battle card game for two players. Each Character Deck (Bennett, Chris, Darwin, Hale, Morgan, and Pearl) in this updated edition of BRAWL features updated graphic design and packaging, complete with a rulebook packed with extended description of each character's strengths, weaknesses, and strategy hints.

Our Price: $8.50

Discontinued

Cheapass Games is re-launching BRAWL, a fast, furious, realtime battle card game for two players. Each Character Deck (Bennett, Chris, Darwin, Hale, Morgan, and Pearl) in this updated edition of BRAWL features updated graphic design and packaging, complete with a rulebook packed with extended description of each character's strengths, weaknesses, and strategy hints.

Our Price: $8.50

Discontinued

Cheapass Games is re-launching BRAWL, a fast, furious, realtime battle card game for two players. Each Character Deck (Bennett, Chris, Darwin, Hale, Morgan, and Pearl) in this updated edition of BRAWL features updated graphic design and packaging, complete with a rulebook packed with extended description of each character's strengths, weaknesses, and strategy hints.

Our Price: $8.50

Discontinued

Cheapass Games is re-launching BRAWL, a fast, furious, realtime battle card game for two players. Each Character Deck (Bennett, Chris, Darwin, Hale, Morgan, and Pearl) in this updated edition of BRAWL features updated graphic design and packaging, complete with a rulebook packed with extended description of each character's strengths, weaknesses, and strategy hints.

List Price: $10.00

Our Price: $9.00

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Formerly known as James Ernest`s Totally Renamed Spy Game, in Before I Kill You, Mister Spy players take on the role of nefarious super villains, luring spies into their lairs and killing them for sport (and points!). But, before you kill a spy, you may be tempted to gloat and taunt him for extra points, leading (sometimes) to his escape from your insidious clutches!