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The We Be Goblins series of 4 scenarios (Free RPG Day Adventures) still hold up amazingly well. The writing is so absolutely delightful, and our little mob of chaos gremlins had a blast. We played PF1e but I'm sure D&D 5e and PF2e conversations exist for those who prefer those systems. If not, it should be super easy to convert them.
But now, the promised Goblin Songs!
(Some spoilers for We Be Goblins Two!, which is pretty old at this point.)
Always fun but here's the thing
Make a promise no be rude
Share the songs or you be food!"
Mevis:
Stab stab till more no more!
Rip them guts, poke them eyes,
Chop into bits down in size!"
"Burn the fur, crush the bones,
Beat dat head with big big stones!
Cut off hooves, smash the tusk,
Mevis not know what rhyme with tusk!"
"Mean old boar, need to die,
We bake boar into big big pie!
Smooth and dumb and stupid too,
We boil and make a stew!"
"Mevis not have more ideas for song,
So Mevis make noises all day long!
Bang on pot, shout out loud, do a jig,
Hurry up and kill that pig!"
"Why boar still no dead,
Stupid butt smooth like goblin head!
Boar cheat at fight,
We still be here till night!"
"Mevis hurt, Mevis bleed,
But tasty bacon what Mevis need!"
We cut in half and then in third!
Pluck the feathers, beak be torn,
Now we make burn burn burn!"
Reta shoot arrows in bum!
Giant strong but goblin quick,
We beat dead with big stick!"
"We make extra-long-shanks fall,
Not fair when the ogre big, ogre tall!
Run if want, we give chase,
Jump on belly and stab in face!"
"Chop chop legs like a tree,
Cut out eyes so cannot see!
Lop the fingers, chomp the ear,
Run run run, you be fear!"
"Mevis no worried, Mevis brave,
Not scared of go to goblin grave!"
Reta:
Char the thacthing, scorch the fluff!
We not scared of ogre smack!
Singe the hair right off his back!
Owl thing is very big,
scarier than flaming pig!
Goblins shoot from far away,
And don't let it grab you because it's very big and nasty!"
Reta shoot and bravely flee!
Chase, chase, chase away from friend,
stupid owl wish he had rend!
Please let go of Reta's bard,
Reta shoot you really hard!
Light the fur and feather too,
Reta hope he doesn't chew!"
fear no boar or owl bite!
Squealy Nord will give us courage,
crush the ogres into porridge!"
goblin fire burns much hotter!
Crack the platform, collapse the room,
fireball goes boom boom boom!
Burn the bats up into ash,
ogre falls with muddy splash,
Reta charge and lop his head!
We be goblins! You be dead!"
cleave the ogres with her sword!
From the top rope Reta fall,
crack your forehead with her skull!
"
RUVOK, GET BEHIND THE WALL!
Nord will watch as Reta slays,
cheer the chieftain night and day!
Stupid ogre trapped in sphere,
goblins watch him, laugh and jeer!"
watch him scream and cry and frown!
Goblins setting up for dinner,
you be homeless! We be winners!"
Mogmurch:
Building burn and building creak,
Owlbear rage with hoot and claw,
Save the pig! Save us all!"
Job that only Mogmurch could,
Crash it down on Ogre head,
Bury him and make him dead!"
Sincerely, it was a lot fun. 10/10.
Also, I was never here, you can't prove anything, bye.
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Loved, loved, loved those goblin adventures.
One of my GMs made a level 12 adventure for the same goblin characters.
I’m considering making a level 20 adventure where Reta, Mogmurch, and company take the Test of the Starstone in order to take those Barghest hero gods’ places!
Still gathering ideas for the test.
Will definitely need to make new songs for it so maybe I’ll use some of these.