Rumpelstiltskin maintains his composure well, but his eyes betray a slight bit of fear. He clears his throat before speaking.
"I assure you, Mr. Flannigan and Mr. Biscuit, that I have never broken a deal. If you agree to something which you are not later willing to fulfill, then that is your own fault. So, is there anything two travelers like yourselves need? Information? Supplies? A bit of magical assistance? There is little that I cannot offer for the right price."
He eyes you both eagerly, rubbing his hands together and licking his lips, before smiling, showing off his full set of brilliantly white razor-sharp teeth.
"Where have the Swamp Wisps gone?" Stein wastes no time once the others have fallen silent.
"And, Mr. Stiltskin, my patience for foolery is limited - do not give me reason to anathematize you for your uselessness. Of course, I apologize if your intentions are strictly noble, but the fae folk are notorious for their deviousness. Be careful."
Stein falls silent again, awaiting the fae's response.
Rumpelstiltskin raises an interested eyebrow.
"Certainly an odd question...but I could give you the information you want. The question is how much it's worth to you, Mr. Biscuit."
He snaps his fingers and conjures a quill, ink, and a sheet of parchment.
"Four liters of blood and twelve pounds of ground bone, if we're going old school. If a more fiscal tack is in order, all the money I have on my person. What do you want?"
"I'll give ya a drink of however much beer seems fittin' to me."
Rumpelstiltskin lets out a high pitched laugh. He rubs his fingers together, producing a handful of gold coins. He lets them drop from his hand, and they disappear into gold smoke, which drifts lazily to the ceiling.
"Money is of little value to me, typically. As is alcohol. I am much more intrigued by your other offer. But you are a necromancer. I will need something more...concrete. I fancy your name. Would that be a fair trade?"
Bob empties a mug of beer on to Rump's head.
"No. You think we're stupid?"
Stein silently approves.
Rumpelstiltskin looks mildly peeved, but does not break face.
"I see. Then make me an offer. But I warn you: this information could be very difficult to obtain without my help."
"Two bags of flour."
"Fresh blood and bone."
Rumpelstiltskin tactfully ignores Bob's offer. He looks Stein in the eyes.
"Hmm. A more interesting offer. This seems important to you. I will give you the information in exchange for your blood and bone. Specifically, a hand, or something of similar value, perhaps? A few fingers might suffice."
He hovers the quill over the parchment eagerly.
Bob reaches into his pocket and pours a handful of flour on to Rump's head.
"Your blood and bone. Deal."
Rumpelstiltskin's smile fades for a moment. He snaps his fingers, cleaning himself magically.
"Unacceptable. You try my patience with your nonsense."
Bob grins.
"A tree."
"And your foolishness tries mine."
Rumpelstiltskin takes on a look of playful offense.
"A tree. Fine. There is a tree in these woods, which is said to grow a great many things from its branches. If you can bring me a seed of this tree, I will give you what you desire. Potentially much more."
He turns to Stein.
"I do not deal in nonsense. I simply do not wish to be cheated. If this information is of personal value, I demand a personal cost."
"The information is of business value, so I demand a cost related to my job description."
"Howzabout this. We arm wrestle."
His eyes light up.
"Of business value, eh? Then what is your job. You look to be a druid. Perhaps a sacrifice of some of your land, or some of the creatures under your watch?"
He turns to Bob.
"I myself could not hope to match your strength. But you could compete with one of my...associates, if you wish. But is there nothing you want yourself?"
"I dunno, sounds fine by me - no magic, though. I guess maybe a nymph ho?"
"And a beer tree."
"A sacrifice from among my charges? You ask much of me. The swamp of course, is not mine to give."
Rumpelstiltskin grins widely, and turns to Bob.
"I am afraid that Nymphs are exceedingly difficult to obtain quickly. But perhaps I could offer you a succubus wench instead? And I will assume that by 'beer tree', you mean a tree that produces alcohol in some manner?"
He turns to Stein.
"I have an offer for you, then. I will give you your information in return for your guarantee that no creature under your watch will ever harm me. Does that sound fair?"
"I am Nature's friend, not its master. You ask what is not mine to give."
"Sounds good. She'd better not try to suck my life - only one thing I'd wan' her ta suck, nomsayan?"
"And you and your guy can't use or have magic, got it? That's cheatin'."
He looks at Stein.
"It seems to me that you are not willing to make a sacrifice for this information."
He turns to Bob.
"Beyond of course the magic I use to bring my accomplice here. If that sounds satisfactory, then sign your name here."
He writes out a contract with supernatural swiftness and offers the quill to Bob.
Bob reads the contract and then passes it to have Stein read it again.
Stein gives it a read.
The contract outlines typical arm wrestling rules; 5 seconds down for victory, no physical contact except for the wrestling arms, no magic to enhance either contestant before, no magic during, as well as the other specifics of their deal. It also specifies the location of the contest: in the clearing outside the building. If Stein reads it, he sees nothing suspect; it appears to be a simple, honest contract.
Bob signs it.
Rumpelstiltskin signs beneath Bob. When this is done, the parchment rolls itself up and disappears with a puff of odd-smelling smoke. Rumpelstiltskin smiles widely.
"I am glad that we could come to a deal, Mr. Flannigan."
"Let's go outside, then."
He stands and heads outside.
"Now that we are outside, shall we meet your opponent?"
He snaps his fingers. A small ball of light appears behind him, and quickly expands into a large portal, from which steps a gigantic mass of stone and earth in humanoid form, multiple stories tall.
"Stein, could you provide the surface for the match? I agreed not to use any magic, and I would hate to dishonor our agreement. Besides, you can serve as a relatively impartial figure, if I know you druids at all."
Bob takes off his belt of con and strength.
"Of course, though I feel you may know less of druids than you think." Stein will use Wood Shape to create a large platform with a raised dais in the middle for the competitors to rest their elbows. He will also have his minions fall in, spreading themselves around the outer edge of the arena. Pack Mule the fast human zombie will remain at his side, but the Croc Skeleton on its back will be dropped rather near Stiltskin. Wispington, still inside, will extinguish his glow and move to hover invisibly above the arena. Stein himself will remain just outside of the arena, towards the middle, keeping Stiltskin in clear view.
Stein will smile.
"You may soon wish you had accepted my earlier offers, Fae man. My companion is fiercer than a dire bear when roused, and twice as competitive."
Bob grunts at Stein. "Pal, we only met today."
Stein sighs. "It's called posturing, Bob. No need to tell him... Plus, I shall choose to infer that about you, and see where it gets me."
The earth elemental collapses its lower half into a pile of stones and places its elbow on the surface of the table. It eyes Bob confidently, and its face cracks into a self-assured smile. Rumpelstiltskin assumes a similarly confident grin.
Bob looms over the elemental somehow, despite being shorter than it.
He stares it down for a full minute as he drinks a flask of whiskey, and then grunts.
He then points at its arm, and then at the area where it's going to put its hand.
The elemental's expression changes quickly to a look of hesitation. You see its stance waver. It darts its eye to the side towards Rumpelstiltskin, then back to Bob. It shifts its jaw around nervously.
Bob, you can easily tell that he plans to put a show of resistance but ultimately throw the match.
Bob arm-wrestles the earth elemental.
You place your hand in his massive palm. The two of you push back and forth for around a minute, and he brings your arm close to the table, before letting you gain the advantage, and goes with your lead.
"So Mr. Stiltskin. Let's talk business. I have something you want. You may yet have something I want."
As he says this, the Mudra and The Croc dogpile the little man.
If croc hits...
He turns to Stein, his self-assured smile faded into a neutral grimace when he sees that the match did not end as quickly as he had hoped. Which fades further into a look of surprised pain as the Croc bites into him. The Mudra attempts to grab him as well, but Rumpelstiltskin (surprisingly), manages to shake him off before he can get a good hold.
Rumpelstiltskin closes his eyes and concentrates for a moment. When nothing happens, his eyes go wide and his struggling increases. He bares his teeth and begins shouting in a livid voice.
"Order your creature to let go of me this instant!"
"Get rectally ravaged, my little man."