|
CINCINNATI (MIDGARD)- Details are sketchy at this time, but Odin-son, Thor, is believed to be the primary culprit of the destruction of the Monroe, OH "Touchdown" Jesus at this time. Police cite the fact that Mjolnir's hammer-shaped impression was found burned in the side of Jesus' face, and anonymous sources within the police department have stated "Look, it got hit by lightning, there's a big ass hammer print, so we know it wasn't Zeus..."
When contacted at his Asgard home, the surly Aesir chose not comment, although, according to eyewitness accounts, he did get smite-y on fellow deity, Heimdall, for letting mortals cross the Bifrost Bridge.
Monroe prosecutors are uncertain about jurisdiction at this time, and one assistant in the office said "look, I'm not going to move venue up there...are you nuts? Besides, Thor may be the strongest, but he's in no way even the nastiest of the Aesir. Hell, he's a good guy. Have you met his dad?!"
{checks byline} Ah, that's written by Bob "Low Key" Lyesymthe. He's an old school reporter, won the Hearst "Maine" Prize a couple years back.
It's sad to see deities pulling publicity stunts for new movies.
{checks byline} Ah, that's written by Bob "Low Key" Lyesymthe. He's an old school reporter, won the Hearst "Maine" Prize a couple years back.
Oh yes, he's an excellent fellow, yeeessss. We've collaborated on several projects.
A shame what happened to his face, poor fellow.