This is from a long time ago, but I managed to dig it up (thank you gmail for saving everything I've ever written). I sent it out to a email group I'm a part of. I was inspired to dig it out of mothballs due to the other thread on this topic.
I don't really expect a response, since I've obviously read beyond the initial trilogy by this point, but figured some folks might get a kick out of it.
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Ok, this is pretty off-topic, my apologies, feel free to flame away,
but I have no clue who else to vent to. For years I've been hearing
about the awesome "Wheel of Time" series by Robert Jordan. It's
terrific, it's wonderful, blah blah blah. Inevitably though, everyone
who recommends it added on the caveat: "...but he's awfully wordy and
I gave up after the 791st book in the series..."
So I was looking for some idea-stimulus for a campaign I'm cobbling
together and having heard how immersive this series was I decided to
give it a go to get my juices flowing. Please skip the below if you've
never read it because there are some pseudo-spoilers in it.
Here's my main question to those of you who have read it: I'm about to
finish book 3. Is it even worth it to continue reading?
Ok, on to my rant!
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Possible spoiler's below.
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First and foremost, he has reams of exposition that puts the LOTR to
shame. Page after page on how green the grass is, how gray the stones
are, etc. Whoever his editor was should be fired. He could have easily
cut half the novel out and no one would have noticed. Moving right
along...
1st book: the main char's (the 3 boys) spend virtually every scene
being insulted, berated, and bossed about by EVERY woman, no matter
how old. I think Jordan had a serious mommy complex and hopefully got
tons of therapy. Why is every man emo and/or brainless and why is
every woman a shrieking shrew? Why Jordan, why?
In both books, for some strange reason, everyone jumps to obey the
female mage no matter how absurd/pointless the request. One that
stands out is when the main guy kills off a couple baddies using his
magic. She tells him not to tell anyone else (including his TWO BEST
FRIENDS) but yet she doesn't mind that he tells her, her body guard,
and two chicks from his village. It's a completely pointless request
with no rationale behind it! Who cares if they know?! And they find
out in a couple chapters anyways! GAH! It's pointless crap like that
which sticks in my craw.
And then the 3 main guys are so pathetically whiny (I'll be generous
and just say they're emo) it's ridiculous. For example, chapter after
endless chapter involves this one dork agonizing about how he can talk
to wolves and doesn't want to. I just want to smack Jordan! Who gives
a ****?! He can talk to wolves! Big deal! After the initial surprise,
any one would get over it. You don't want to meet wolves, then how
about you go live in a city instead of wandering through the woods!
WHY is this such an agonizing existential crisis?
Oh and THEN! The main female magic user is part of this all-woman (if
guys try to use magic they go insane, long story) mage
union. Ok great. Everyone and their uncle is terrified of them: "gotta
do what they say" and "never intrude on their affairs" and "do not
question their orders" and "bad things happen if you don't do what
they want" and on and on. Every other page we get shoved down our
throat how people (including the lead char's who are arguably
semi-godlike in power) grovel before them and do as they say. But
guess what? We're told how they CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO HARM ANY CREATURE
who isn't a "dark creature." We're told they
are literally bound and compelled by powerful magics so they cannot
USE THEIR MAGIC AGAINST PEOPLE! And everyone knows this! So why does
anyone even care what they say? Why can they randomly enter into a
hostile country and order about legions of troops?? And those troops
are terrified of them? Aaargh!
I better stop now.
Nah, **** that, I'm on a roll.
Another logical inconsistency is women seemingly running every
village. In the main char's village, for instance, the Village Council
is composed of men. The men own all the businesses and have all the
money yet somehow the "woman's circle" which has
zero magic, money, or anything else going for them, runs everything
and every woman or girl goes around belittling the men (including the
council members) up to and including regularly hitting council members
on their head with wooden staffs. And the men just suck it up and say
nothing. So unbelievable. And with a couple notable exceptions, we are
told how average or flat-out unattractive the women are. They don't
even have looks going for them!
Then we have the part where a couple of the magic-using girls are
tricked out of the all-women mage university by an evil witch
professor and are handed over to baddies to become slaves. Ok...so
far, so good Jordan. So they escape except for one, who is enslaved
and tortured for a couple months. She escapes and gets back to
university and is treated like dirt by everyone! And is not only
beaten with a "switch" until she "can't sit for a week" but then is
punished by having to do all manner of things (scrub floors, clean
dishes, etc...) indefinitely. All this because she couldn't see
through the evil professor's lies.
ARE YOU KIDDIN ME????
No "I'm so sorry for what you went through, were you raped or
tortured?" No "do you want to talk about what you went through?"
Nothing. Just straight up discipline and punishment for being fooled
by the evil prof. And she's cool with that!
From top to bottom the characters are just unbelievable. Yet...the
backstory is phenomenal. I wish I knew how to quit you Jordan!
