"I jump" Character is standing at the top of a 300ft cliff with the fight about to occur at the bottom. The other characters are using fly to get down.
I'm no longer sure if I'm trying to live up to or live down this one.
DM: "As you're walking across a open field..."
Frank: "We never walk in the open."
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 16, 2010 Top 4
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"You need to take a level of ranger so you can hate him professionally." -- Sarin the ranger to Castalia the beguiler regarding the giants in RotR.
"A brothel backed by the Hellknights is a brothel that's gonna do business!" -- Castalia the beguiler.
"An amount of money large enough is indestinguishable from magic." -- Abadaran proverb.
"The one thing I like about speaking in Taldane is the double entandre of 'testing my mettle,' but this is cancled out by Taldane's use of the elven word for 'double entandre.'" Revik, dwarven weaponsmith.
"Wait for my signal" says the Ranger to the rest of the party before he snuck up to the orc barabrian tent. He didn't find out he was out classed until it was too late.
"Throw down your weapons and die!" The dwarven fighter shouted as the party burst into a room full of goblins.
"You're not worth my axe!" screamed by dwarven fighter as he throws down his axe and proceeds to beat the last remaining gnoll to death with his bare hands.
"Shoot the bastard!"Screamed by the dwarven battle-cleric as the party traveled through a forest and saw a petal (MM3) land on a branch ahead of them.
"Come on, guys, we can take 'em!" Exclaimed by the party's monk (not a dwarf) the first time the players ever encountered fire giants. This also falls under the category of "famous last words."
Interrogating and... "torturing" a goblin for information:
"If you don't tell us where your clan resides, I will tickle you!"
BBEG speaks: "So you're looking for the person that put a price on your kind's heads. Well, you found him. And not just that, I also have killed many of your kind. Not myself, you see - that's beneath me - but my friend here has a lot of "marks on his axe" - though he doesn't have an axe.
Elf fighter: "Oh, I see, a rhetorician!"
*Party members nearly wet themselves laughing, and BBEG is plenty pissed himself*
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8
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Heart of nightfang spire.
Villian goes through his big monologue, ends it with. "Any last words?" (Villian having learned from previous monologue spoutng villians to not be visible while posturing)
Elan Erudite (Female redhead): Yes. You are the weakest link. Goodbye *Empowered disintigrate into the heart*
Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil. Several times.
I will save the halflings *sigh* again. both by players and characters.
Isle of dread. "I'm coming to save you, Aliandra!" Said by our (bi-sexual) half orc barbarian to her love, the (female) ranger.
*on discovering the vivacious template applied to summoned monsters can make things explode* "I'm summoning vivacious dolphins and sending them down into the water!"
"Well that was nice of Shadrach, to get everyone nice new tabbards with a silver dragon on the- Wait! You're trying to make Nimbus a target, aren't you?"
"Who, me?"
Scene - a group of neutral to evil pcs are exploring Dungeonland and The Land Beyond the Magic Mirror ... btw, evil has a waaaay to easy time with this pair of adventures :)
Characters - Assassin/Wizard, Cleric and Half-Ogre Fighter with a Maul that outweighs both of the other party members.
Location - The Chessboard <eg>
The assassin has been moving amongst the trees, for hiding and sniping purposes, and the ogre and cleric enter the first queen's square. The Lamia immediately takes over the poor ogre, and commands him to kill the cleric. Cleric thinks he can hold his own until the assassin can drop the lamia ... ogre hits cleric for MORE than half his hit points in one blow! Cleric spends the remainder of the battle racing around the grove, staying one jump ahead of the maul as the assassin takes out the lamia (while his player is laughing so hard he can't even read his dice).
Players proceed through the rest of the chessboard, winding up on the OTHER queen's square ... Cleric takes one look at her, then at the ogre (who's eyes are glazing over AGAIN) and starts running, screaming over and over "KILL THE B***H!!"
This line has remained a classic cue in our games ever since :)
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"I hit him with my chainmail." Said in a southern accent by a new player looking at his character sheet for a weapon his character can use.
"My apologies. My intent was to kill, not to maim." Said by a paladin after impaling a goblin-spider on his spear and only wounding it.
In a friend of a friend's game, one of the players (a generally smart guy, but capable of some serious mental lapses from time to time) was playing an archery-focused ranger. At one point, the PCs were attempting to get the drop on a group of mages, and the ranger's player somehow got it in his head that if he couldn't see the mages' heads, he couldn't shoot them (because all shots are headshots?). His quote was later written down to be mocked for all eternity:
"Damn, [the mages] are all wearing hoods, bastards predicted we'd have an archer. This won't be easy--I can only guess how big their heads are."
"I'm off to buy a shovel."
This requires some backstory. One of my problem players, whom I will call Bob, who is the kind of player who lives to roll dice, hack enemies, and die against enemies he has no business dying to. (Not kidding. his 5th level fighter lost to a 1st level fighter in a fair 1v1 duel.) When it comes to Roleplaying, he's hopeless. Bob was tasked with doing some grave robbing, and went off to buy a shovel when we told him 'how do dig up the grave without one?' He then went to market and spent 3 hours of our time trying to get a deal on one, and acting like a moron to the NPC vendors.
at our table, "Buying a shovel" has become synonymous with 'wasting our time.'
«Listen carefully, if you are killed, try to write in the floor with your blood the name of the one who is killing you.»
«I'd rather fight for my life.»
«But if that doesn't work, do what I say.»
One of the many weird ideas from one of the most funny characters I had in a game. The player enjoying a lot playing her. She was actually very intelligent but had dumped Wis so she had the strangest plans ever.
She had draconic blood and part of the story was about her searching for her roots, so she had met other people who also had draconic blood. The draconic blood thing was omnipressent. Draconic blood this. Draconic blood that. Oh, cool, we have draconic blood! So then she realized another character in the game (who had not draconic blood, by the way) was her cousin. And she proudly and cheerfully said:
«How great! We have cousin blood!»
Fe Fi Fo mother fudger!
(my giant PC's catch phrase)