Pizza Devils??


Off-Topic Discussions

Liberty's Edge

So, a fellow in New Zealand decides to put his soul up for sale on an online auction site (TradeMe) and it ends up being bought by a restaurant chain called "Hell Pizza" for about $3,800.

He has actually created a certificate of soul ownership (how Faustian) and the marketing director for Hell Pizza says it will have a place of distinction in the lobby of their corporate headquarters.

The term "weird" is being redefined on a daily basis.

Liberty's Edge

I saw "spirit bottles" on ebay once. A guy in Missouri claims there are real spirits trapped in the bottles. He made labels and everything. I think he even has a website.


One time I was looking for a company called "All About Candles," and when I googled that, one of the top responses was a page called, in all caps, "CANDLES ATTRACT DEMONS."

So remember, kids: Yankee Candle Company? YANKEE DEMON COMPANY! Sure, go ahead, fire up that Christmas Eve or Sugar Cookie candle. It's you who will be burning next!

Scarab Sages

And when you google Vecna...well you get this
http://www.vecna.com/
Better Technology for a better World...I wonder...

Liberty's Edge

Trey wrote:

One time I was looking for a company called "All About Candles," and when I googled that, one of the top responses was a page called, in all caps, "CANDLES ATTRACT DEMONS."

So remember, kids: Yankee Candle Company? YANKEE DEMON COMPANY! Sure, go ahead, fire up that Christmas Eve or Sugar Cookie candle. It's you who will be burning next!

I'd heard that before, too. Boy, we're really screwed if we start playing D&D in a room with scented candles!


Cuchulainn wrote:
Trey wrote:

One time I was looking for a company called "All About Candles," and when I googled that, one of the top responses was a page called, in all caps, "CANDLES ATTRACT DEMONS."

So remember, kids: Yankee Candle Company? YANKEE DEMON COMPANY! Sure, go ahead, fire up that Christmas Eve or Sugar Cookie candle. It's you who will be burning next!

I'd heard that before, too. Boy, we're really screwed if we start playing D&D in a room with scented candles!

The pit will open beneath your chair and drag you straight down still clutching your d20 in one hand, and your Autumn Woods housewarmer candle in the other. Well, was it worth it to have a "festive fragrance that enhances the holiday season?" Was it?

Liberty's Edge

Trey wrote:


The pit will open beneath your chair and drag you straight down still clutching your d20 in one hand, and your Autumn Woods housewarmer candle in the other. Well, was it worth it to have a "festive fragrance that enhances the holiday season?" Was it?

Methinks we've stumbled upon one of those "real magic spells" Ms. Frost referred to in that infamous old "Chick Tract."


Wait a sec... let me get a pen... and write this down...

1. Buy Yankee Candle, Autumn Harvest, 32oz

2. Buy Bic EZ-Lite™

3. 1st Ed. PHB

4. Dark Dungeons Chick Pubs.

5. Best of Dragon Vols. 1 & 2

6. 60 Minutes 1985 special

7. Geraldo 1988 special

8. Mt. Dew, 36-pack

9. Cheetos, BIG Bag™

10. Ms. Frost October 1986 centerfold pin-up, Playboy #265

Wait... does anyone have the delivery number for Hell's Pizza?


Maybe. But you know, thinking of it, I have been to many religious services of various faiths and denominations, and an awful lot of them use candles. I'm pretty sure they would not be putting their faithful at risk, so I wonder if a candle in a holy place kind of works like a bug zapper. You know, it lures the bad things in, but they don't notice the consecration grid, and bzzzzt!

Since we are on random thoughts, it also occurs to me that as something of a hottie, Ms. Frost probably could have sucked legions of 13-year-old boys into her gaming group without any effort whatsoever. It's kind of a weird sign of job dedication that she takes so much trouble to make sure that some girls have an opportunity at perdition, too.

Also, should we worry that Paizo has an employee named Mr. Frost? Between the tract and the Jeff Goldblum movie, I'm going to take a closer look the next time my Pathfinder subscription agreement rolls around.


Trey wrote:

Maybe. But you know, thinking of it, I have been to many religious services of various faiths and denominations, and an awful lot of them use candles. I'm pretty sure they would not be putting their faithful at risk, so I wonder if a candle in a holy place kind of works like a bug zapper. You know, it lures the bad things in, but they don't notice the consecration grid, and bzzzzt!

Since we are on random thoughts, it also occurs to me that as something of a hottie, Ms. Frost probably could have sucked legions of 13-year-old boys into her gaming group without any effort whatsoever. It's kind of a weird sign of job dedication that she takes so much trouble to make sure that some girls have an opportunity at perdition, too.

Also, should we worry that Paizo has an employee named Mr. Frost? Between the tract and the Jeff Goldblum movie, I'm going to take a closer look the next time my Pathfinder subscription agreement rolls around.

So wait a minute--do I need the candle or not?


Leeroy Jenkins wrote:


So wait a minute--do I need the candle or not?

Definitely. Though really, I think on second thought that a Coconut Bay Two-Wick Cylinder Candle may be even more... diabolical.


Trey wrote:
Leeroy Jenkins wrote:


So wait a minute--do I need the candle or not?
Definitely. Though really, I think on second thought that a Coconut Bay Two-Wick Cylinder Candle may be even more... diabolical.

Right!

1. Buy Coconut Bay Two-Wick Cylinder Candle...

Hey... is 'Coconut Bay' the scent or the company name?

This is über-with-cheese-important, man--I am so ready for some Ms. Frost action!!

Liberty's Edge

What Chick didn't tell you:

Marketing Director for Hell Pizza: yep, it's Ms Frost!

Cue the ominous minor key organ music.


Cuchulainn wrote:

What Chick didn't tell you:

Marketing Director for Hell Pizza: yep, it's Ms Frost!

Cue the ominous minor key organ music.

So I don't have to summon her?

Will she deliver my pizza if I pay extra?

Liberty's Edge

Leeroy Jenkins wrote:


Will she deliver my pizza if I pay extra?

Oh yes, my friend. You. Will. Pay. Extra.

Scarab Sages

So, let me see if I got this straight:

Joshua Frost is married to a devil chick who owns her own pizza company in New Zealand. Then if you light a pine-scented candle she shows up at your door with a pepperoni and smoked-bacon pizza, exchanging it for your soul and a d20?


Aberzombie wrote:

So, let me see if I got this straight:

Joshua Frost is married to a devil chick who owns her own pizza company in New Zealand. Then if you light a pine-scented candle she shows up at your door with a pepperoni and smoked-bacon pizza, exchanging it for your soul and a d20?

Wait--I have to get a d20, also?

I wish you guys would just give the complete list of spell components and tribute items, al-read-y! Jeesh!

Wait--did you say pine-scented?!


Aberzombie wrote:
Then if you light a pine-scented candle she shows up at your door with a pepperoni and smoked-bacon pizza, exchanging it for your soul and a d20?

Oooh! A d20! Awesome!


Lilith wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Then if you light a pine-scented candle she shows up at your door with a pepperoni and smoked-bacon pizza, exchanging it for your soul and a d20?
Oooh! A d20! Awesome!

Wait... Lilith, what is your last name, anyway?


Trey wrote:
Wait... Lilith, what is your last name, anyway?

Heh heh... >:)

Dark Archive

Trey wrote:
Maybe. But you know, thinking of it, I have been to many religious services of various faiths and denominations, and an awful lot of them use candles.

Ah, but are their candles black, and made from rendered baby fat? 'Cause those cheap knock-offs only attract really lame demons that just mess up your orders anyway.

Leeroy Jenkins wrote:

Wait--I have to get a d20, also?

I wish you guys would just give the complete list of spell components and tribute items, al-read-y! Jeesh!

And that's just the Material components. There are also Verbal and Somatic components! I would also recommend a sock. It's not really necessary, but it makes the Somatic components a little less irritating.


Trey wrote:
Maybe. But you know, thinking of it, I have been to many religious services of various faiths and denominations, and an awful lot of them use candles.
Set wrote:
Ah, but are their candles black, and made from rendered baby fat? 'Cause those cheap knock-offs only attract really lame demons that just mess up your orders anyway.

Jeesh! You're telling me!

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