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I just remembered collecting these „rules for roleplayers” for a convention where I was part of the organizing team.
The rules were a big hit and I started copying them for most attendants of said convention and adding to them for the following years.
Sadly this convention died a few years ago, but I think it is worth a try to translate the rules into the English language for your enjoyment. If you want to add to these rules – please feel free.
1. Set long-term goals for your characters:
“When I reach level 15 I become a megalomaniac”
2. Let your Gamemaster know that you heed the advice and warnings he presents:
“OK, I open that door – what’s the amount of damage I take?”
3. Take care of the faithful companions of your character:
Player 1: “The next to enter the Tavern is…”
Player 2: “I get my horse to the stables”
Player 3: “I take care of my horse and pay the stableboy”
Player 1: “The next to enter the Tavern is…my pony!? Damn, I forgot that..:”
4. Don’t give up a good hiding place for nothing!
Player 1: “I introduce myself: I’m Sarah”
Player 2: “I’m Chen”
Player 3: “I’m still hiding behind the shrubbery”
5. When hiding your Identity, take care you know your alias!
“I’m called Darius of…where have we been in the past week?”
6. If you cannot rely on your senses, rely on logic!
“I think this isn’t a pyramid, this is a circle! – Left is faster then the outer track!”
7. When looking for top secret information – a subtle approach is always the best!
“Hey there, merchant! I heard you are selling slaves?”
8. If you’ve got to much information, trust your intuition for sorting out!
“I didn’t think that vision I had was important.”
9. Make your equipment list clean and accessible!
“Can we ignore the last 40 GP – then I have a nice clean amount…”
10. The well being of your friends should always have a high priority.
“While I pass her, can I see if she’s bleeding to death?”
There will be more - unfortunatly not all of these rules stay meaningful when translated, but I'll see what I can do.
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11. Trust your intuition when you plan on witnessing important scenes:
NPC: “I go to my car and fetch the documents.”
Player: “That would be the moment she is killed – I go with her!”
12. Adventurers travel a long time. So, always plan ahead.
GM: “Your realize according to your plan, your castles garden will be much larger than the entire village?”
Player: “Yeah, but perhaps the village will have grown ‘till we’re done.”
13. Never underestimate the value of artistic skills when developing your character.
“That’s a good Idea. Let’s sing a happy song - can I sing down here? – No, I can’t, I didn’t learn it…”
14. Whatever your characters occupation is, don’t ever be ashamed of what he does.
Player 1: “The Thief got the climbing tools for free – the other way of free I mean…”
Player 2: “I got them as A GIFT! The other way of free is…is…not important…”
15. No one can take care of everything at the same time. Chose your priorities.
Player 1: “I’d really appreciate if someone took care of my wounds…”
Player 2: “Book keeping comes first, then everything else…”
16. Live out your creative streak. Every world should have its own Woody Allen.
“I should write a biography – my life as a spell component…”
17. Sharing the loot can be troublesome. Always see that you get what you deserve.
“Give me back that glass eye – It is mine! I found it in my Soup, so it is mine!”
18. When talking about your characters merits, don’t be to modest.
“I’m perfect! I cannot even hear myself!”
19. Strange occurrences sometimes have rather dull exlplanations.
GM: “Suddenly the campfire blazes up.”
Player 1: “Was that our mage?”
Player 2: “Why, did he sleep to close to the fire?”
20. There are players who are not that good at math. Hel them understand those irritating numbers on their character sheet.
“I think your +5 here is the +6 from down there…”
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1. Reversed psychology is going to fail when applied to adventurers.
Player 1: “I’m not sure going here was the best idea…”
Player 2: “What? It was your idea! You insisted in going here!”
Player 1: “But usually you don’t listen to me!”
2. Never hurry too much. Monsters, demons, angry guards and dark cults are dangerous enough – no need to die of a heart attack.
Player 1: “I think I go ballistic if we don’t move on NOW”
Player 2: “Speaking of moving on…do we have some more coffee?”
3. Hard Times need hard measures to get through.
Strong Half Orc Warrior turns to the petite Wizardess:
“A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do…WINTER HELP! HELP ME!”
4. Never take for granted that players and gm see the same immediate needs for the party.
GM: “This Chest contains exactly what you need right now…”
Player: “An inflatable cleric?”
5. Be aware of your characters status
GM: “How much do you want to send on your dress?”
Player: “Well…it should express my noble heritage…”
GM: “At least 120 G then…”
Player: “OK, Now who is going to pay for it?”
6. If your gameworld is one big conspiracy, your players will lower their expectations for a trusted NPC.
“Of all those I don’t trust I like not trusting him most…”
7. If characters get hurt, don’t try to take the blow of it. Tell them the blunt truth or else they might not get it.
GM: “Your mental capacity lowers…”
Player: “What?”
GM: “YOU GET MORE S T U P I D”
Player: “Oh yeah, I know that…”
8. Keep important equipment at hand.
“Where is my ereaser – I can’t cast a sell without my ereaser!”
9. Make Plans that surprise your gm
“Sink that ship, anchor, wait if it shows up again”
10. Using real life examples can help you to describe a character.
GM: “There are streaks of grey in his hair…”
Player: “Like mine?”
GM: “No, they look good on him…”