I, Sir Hexen Ineptus, beening raised in a tribe outside the city have always needed to go out my way to learn to read and write. So here is my daily practice to keep from getting rusty by journaling my daily events from here on out.
More will come later.
Hey Sir Hexen Ineptus here,
In our travels through the jungle we came confronted with a number of those over grown animated turkey platters; I hate turkey. One of which appeared to be the alpha female of the lot. We dispatched them efficiently, and effectively, especially when in comparison with my kill of the thunder lizard. Although I will have a new scar and a truly great story of killing the stupid thing as I stabbed the stupid thing in it's heart as I fell out of it's stomach.... It was not the best executed of battles when in comparison to this one with the birds.
I am commonly found baffled where time and time again people have yet to grasp the concept on how I am effective in a fight, and some rudimentary tactics. I am best able to pull off my more powerful attacks if I am able to catch theme unready for the attack. I am fast to act and if I do not I will truly be an inept addition to the crew. Other problems such as limiting flanking back when we were fighting the walking vegetables on that blasted ship recked boat. I clearly was trying to keep from getting over run and blocking one of the doors hoping it was one of the faster ones. If we had all jumped up and blocked the doors the fight would have gone better. Maybe I should step up and try talking with the crew I commonly battle with, sense they can't seem to run with the flow I need to start.
We later came to face a number of some fearsome poisonous long bugs, which had a lot of legs. Although I did my job and took the hits I did, after that I was about useless due to the venom of these beasts... I wish I could have done more, but I had become nothing more than a walking target ready to be killed. The mages and the captain really shined in their tactics. I don't know why my fortitude failed me, I just hope it doesn't happen again.
Hey Sir Hexen Ineptus here,
In our travels through the jungle we came confronted with a number of those over grown animated turkey platters; I hate turkey.
Randomly ironic...considering the time of year it is and the holiday which abounds. Heheh...well put.
Again Hexen, I am very glad to finally have the chance to get to know some of the folks from Turin and Allen's games and not just second hand through Allen's or Turin's posts. I'll be the first to admit that when I first began reading Allen's AoW thread that I first was overcome by bloodlust. Allen's gaming style reminded me greatly of the style of my old GM (Allen appears to play much more fairly though, my old GM required we each play 3 characters at one, just should each die during a session) and I was overwhelmed by feelings of nostalgia.
As time has worn on in the campaign, I have found some disparities in my preferred gaming method and Allen's. While I do absolutely enjoy his Killer GM style, I am much more inclined (heavily so) toward RPing in my games.
I also wanted to confess that the monstrous characters most of you had near the end of AoW made me start more heavily cheering for your deaths. I am realizing since then that you are all better players than was apparent before, partially due to the STAP run by Turin. I finally had a chance to see that you weren't all incompetent or worse (not to imply that anyone was...AoW just tends to do that, I think). Now that you all are posting on here as well, I am getting to see that some of you are gamers of far higher quality than I had first assumed. So cheers to you Sir Hexen, and the remainder of the AoW Wormfood party. You completed whats mainly been considered the toughest of the APs, congrats.
Now back to STAP action!
Btw...Sir Hexen.
Let this also be a lesson for you and the group.
If you guys aren't that familiar with all the Greyhawk deities, get familiar with them...
And never never trust a Priest of Tharizdun again! Or anyone who worships the God of Destruction, Entropy, and Madness...
I realize you guys probably know this part now, if you didn't before...but I just felt I had to say it.
Btw...Sir Hexen.
Let this also be a lesson for you and the group.If you guys aren't that familiar with all the Greyhawk deities, get familiar with them...
And never never trust a Priest of Tharizdun again! Or anyone who worships the God of Destruction, Entropy, and Madness...
I realize you guys probably know this part now, if you didn't before...but I just felt I had to say it.
I have had an even worse run of events. While heroically charging into battle to save my comrades from a small horde of undead, I found my self to the complete frozen in my tracks and at its mercy. The bloody thing stuck it's fingers down my throat and gave me a taste in my mouth that I would have used even the foulest of cold medicine to get ride of. I fell ill with all my body struggling to fight it off and my comrades doing their best to help. My fortitude had failed my again... I was left crippled with a far less ability to take a hit, and I knew that if I went into combat with the way I was with the armor I had that if I didn't die immediately that the clerics were going to need to heal me rather regularly ever five seconds or so. My clerics also don't inspire very much confidence, if their not powering themselves up so that they can try and do my job (like our idiotic the captain), then their acting too cowardly to step up and heal me where I need to be (like the journalists), and also constantly asking me to move back away from combat, where I need to be. I may be nothing but a savage warrior of Kord, but I an NOT suicidal. Those two aside, I can understand why the elf wizard/cleric which can not wear armor and is not very tough couldn't move up.
We moved on to another pool. Not interested in going into the water we came up with a very wise an thought out plan to lower a rock with spell that produced light with my fishing rod. The moment I place the rock into the water I came face to face with a dire situation that I just can't fathom now how it happened the way it did. A black tentacle of ooze popped out of the water and snatched me off my feet. The next thing I knew I was in the belly of this thing already getting digested!!! My armor went quickly as I started to dissolve. While struggling with me it all but upchucked my do the foul taste of my feet, but I slipped on my struggle out and was once again in this fight for my life, and my right not to be an side dish of it's meal. While in it I came to see that my sweet butt elf Torsin shot a fire ball! My own real pleasure at this point was that the ooze protected me from getting cooked yet again from her. As I struggled nearly all of my equipment I had on me was gone!!! I lost my magic armor, sword, boot, and ring I had on me. I also lost my silver great sword, and a number of ALL my master work tools! After they finally killed it I was left naked and broken as I crawled my way out of it into the water. I just felt now that I had failed Kord, and didn't wish to be seen any more. All my hard work in the past, collecting and saving and spending wisely was for not.
I do NOT cook you, you always get in the way of my spells, but, luckly for you I had the spare chain and weapons, poor thing, you are having alot of bad luck, however, you are cleaner now, with better armour, but, guys he needs more clothing one outfit will NOT cut it.
Unless, you want to see his bare a--- again. He is washing his clothes
and himself!!
At least chainmail comes with gauntlets, unlike light armor and breastplates. That way, he can wuss-slap the next commoner that gets sassy with him.
And a helmet and greaves too. Isn't chainmail kewl?
I am glad to see a sense of humor in your postings Sir Ineptus. 'Twould be interesting indeed to see if the players who get kewl scarring log them for posterity... I know Avner has ... ^_^
We moved on to another pool. Not interested in going into the water we came up with a very wise an thought out plan to lower a rock with spell that produced light with my fishing rod. The moment I place the rock into the water I came face to face with a dire situation that I just can't fathom now how it happened the way it did. A black tentacle of ooze popped out of the water and snatched me off my feet. The next thing I knew I was in the belly of this thing already getting digested!!! My armor went quickly as I started to dissolve. While struggling with me it all but upchucked my do the foul taste of my feet, but I slipped on my struggle out and was once again in this fight for my life, and my right not to be an side dish of it's meal. While in it I came to see that my sweet butt elf Torsin shot a fire ball! My own real pleasure at this point was that the ooze protected me from getting cooked yet again from her. As I struggled nearly all of my equipment I had on me was gone!!! I lost my magic armor, sword, boot, and ring I had on me. I also lost my silver great sword, and a number of ALL my master work tools! After they finally killed it I was left naked and broken as I crawled my way out of it into the water. I just felt now that I had failed Kord, and didn't wish to be seen any more. All my hard work in the past, collecting and saving and spending wisely was for not.
Da Fighter was able to lend me a pair of clothing to cover my sorry, now hairless, body. My humiliation did not end here. I believe it was the next day; we came across a number of giant crabs. Trying to re-gain my compulsion I charged valiantly into battle. I prepped to put my full leverage into my blow by jumping to them. I must have slipped on something because the next thing I remember is doing my best to not get hurt as I tumbled back down the stairs I had just ran up… This was almost too much humiliation to stand.
As we traveled our way on the path we were went up a mountain. We were vexed with a fiend of some sort in our travels. It decided to place a darkness spell on us one night. After this we were also confronted with a number of gargoyles. We disposed of them very quickly, but the second wave turned out to be a bit more of a problem as their alpha decided to dance with me a little. I found my blows, even enhanced by the mage, were less than 100% effective. It was a tough brut, but with a couple good hits we took him down. The rest was a quick mope up. I was impressed with the gustiness of Torsin, and with the resourcefulness of Appetizer. I felt better with my self being able to defend Torsin.
Am I starting to sense a Han Solo-Princess Leia sort of Love-Hate relationship between Sir Ineptus and Lady Torsin? Hmm...it might be a bit premature to say so...but perhaps after going through so much together and being so valiantly protected by our favorite former Hexblade cum Whirling Barbarian she will eventually come to appreciate his hairless manliness.
Or maybe not.
Wow - guess the dwarf was carrying around his former human-sized outfit still. Glad his squeeze can sew eh? (He had to get new garments from somewhere...)
If you wish, I will permit you to trade in hit points 3-for-1 (to a maximum of -15 hp for a 5 resistance) for Fire Resistance. Note that this is a permanent loss, although the resistance is classified as extraordinary.
Well, once Torsin starts zorching you for actual hit point damage that is...
An alternative to burning off rare and valuable skill points to do the deed that seems agreeable was to permanently cashier a cantrip spell to achieve Automatic Seasoning Spell. I rather like it myself! ^_^
An alternative to burning off rare and valuable skill points to do the deed that seems agreeable was to permanently cashier a cantrip spell to achieve Automatic Seasoning Spell. I rather like it myself! ^_^
Yes..so do I!
Lipton Spell Metamagic Feat
Effect: When applying this metamagic feat to any spell, it allows the spell to acquire some manner of seasoning. A liquid based spell, for example, Waterspout, could be altered to become Onion Brothspout. A fire spell, such as Burning Hands could become Chipotle Seared Hands. Use your imagination and the entire Lipton brand of seasoning packets (which can be an optional additional spell component, or just herbs) for inspiration.
Spell adjustment +0.
Well the last few days have been interesting. Although I will her no harm, but our cowardice cleric has gotten her self captured. I think that if it were not for the fact that she was so pretty and a female, she probably would have died. She has not yet explained to me why she wondered off but if she does, and attracts more trouble like this then I will be forced to be more inclined to leave her behind. She is not as helpful in battle as she could, and now she is playing the part of the useless damsel in distress. Don't get me wrong that I wanted to save her, she is a good person, but if she needlessly puts her self in such danger more often then I will need to weigh her life with others I could protect and save that value theirs enough not to repeat their mistakes, or be more careful in the future. Simply put, I my value the life of another, but if you become a threat to me continuing my life, I will have to think of the greater good and leave them behind.
As we barely tracked our poor cleric's movements we came across the ruins with a strung up undead. The captain, my cleric of Kord, quickly bashed the chattering undead's head in. I do not know of the point of putting such a thing in that fashion. We came up to a cave entrance with some interesting carvings of fiendish monkeys. Even the two entrances into the cave gave were decorated as such. I wasn't impressed. As we cleared the place out, we found nothing but a simple trap that Appetizer handled quickly.
After figuring out the entrance though the magic mirror, which required some interesting trap picking devices, were found our self in an interesting ambush situation. We were all very surprised with the fact that our enemies could turn invisible!!! After some hard work we were able to trash these things with little long lasting harm to our selves. Although our missing cleric, the Journalist, probably would have ran and hide and wait to heal us until after the fight, we probably still could have used the help for these fights. I was though irritated with these mobs ability to teleport. I don't know what they were trying to do, but, while in the fight each took a moment to try and touch us, but nothing happened except them teleporting.
After rushing the search of the area we came across a naga imitating an undead naga. I jumped in quickly to try and dispatch this thing. I found my two entire flurry of sings to miss utterly, I would have probably decapitated it twice in my attacks, but due to a spell that changed it's position at random these came up as utter misses! We still took it out with little problem but I was pissed that I didn't even land a single blow on it. Judging from how others were doing, it seemed that it was just bad luck for my six attacks missing.
I was forced to face the toughest opponent in my life thus far, that I can remember, with being under-equipped. I would have given anything for my magical great sword... Luckly I did have my backup cold iron dager. We were faced with a much tougher monkey demon that just could not be taken down easily at all. I was unable to put any real force behind my blow but this did allow me to do some damage. The stupid thing could even teleport multiple times and at will! It took down my dearest Torsin Sweetbutt! Although not dead, I was pissed because with the loast potions from the stupid ooze I was unable to heal her on my own. In the future I will be sure to stand there beside her when faced with such an evasive and maneuverable foe. I will NOT make that same mistake again. The Journalist was not worth this at all, not worth losing her. In the end this stupid monkey demon ran off, and I want to finish it off so it doesn't come after us again...
Well the last few days have been interesting. Although I will her no harm, but our cowardice cleric has gotten her self captured. I think that if it were not for the fact that she was so pretty and a female, she probably would have died. She has not yet explained to me why she wondered off but if she does, and attracts more trouble like this then I will be forced to be more inclined to leave her behind. She is not as helpful in battle as she could, and now she is playing the part of the useless damsel in distress. Don't get me wrong that I wanted to save her, she is a good person, but if she needlessly puts her self in such danger more often then I will need to weigh her life with others I could protect and save that value theirs enough not to repeat their mistakes, or be more careful in the future. Simply put, I my value the life of another, but if you become a threat to me continuing my life, I will have to think of the greater good and leave them behind.
As we barely tracked our poor cleric's movements we came across the ruins with a strung up undead. The captain, my cleric of Kord, quickly bashed the chattering undead's head in. I do not know of the point of putting such a thing in that fashion. We came up to a cave entrance with some interesting carvings of fiendish monkeys. Even the two entrances into the cave gave were decorated as such. I wasn't impressed. As we cleared the place out, we found nothing but a simple trap that Appetizer handled quickly.
After figuring out the entrance though the magic mirror, which required some interesting trap picking devices, were found our self in an interesting ambush situation. We were all very surprised with the fact that our enemies could turn invisible!!! After some hard work we were able to trash these things with little long lasting harm to our selves. Although our missing cleric, the Journalist, probably would have ran and hide and wait to heal us until after the fight, we probably still could have used the help for these fights....
We need to get better AC for the party, people.
Well I am a captain now, but there is a story to it
As we moved on after taking out the hellish construct in the ape demon's pit, we finally made it to our designated town. Here we were faced with an invasion from a bunch of pirates which we later found out to be nothing but over ambitious scouts. I had the joy of killing a foul thing, which I think was an orc but I really couldn't tell due the the amount of puss filled spoors oozing all over it's body! It was at the time trying to get a hold of an innocent woman.
The captain and the others moved onward to take on the main force. I hear that they dispatched them rather quickly. The casters I hear put out a fire rather well too.
We sent a long amount of time from then on helping the city rebuild and fortifying the place as the scouts were just that, for the main crimson fleet.
This took us on a couple of nice adventuring tails. First we had to deal with a pair of fiendish T-rexes. This was fun as I got eaten, twice by the SAME T-rex. I was NOT happy about this. After that we came across a cursed statue, we had strong thoughts on selling the thing, but that was go a good idea as the demonic god these savages worshiped. They aren’t a too bad people, but they liked summoning their own as undead. I found this disgusting, and was about to just leave them to rot by their own gods hands. Yeah, their god was pissed and demanded their statue back. So we gave it back to it and we got rewarded with some nice equipment. Our already seemingly impossible to hit captain squandered the magically powerful mithral breast plate. I was stuck getting a sword known as the flame tongue. The rest of the party with the exception of the wondering journalist which decided not to come got, all got a decent item as well. The sweet butt got a very nice pearl that acted like a magic book.
I was able to trade in my sword and the hammer I had been using for an incredible suite of mithral full plate which acted like it wasn’t even on me; and a weapon I had sought after for a while, a Magical Jovar! I had it specially enchanted to better deal with the fiends we were fighting. I got properly trained in using this weapon as well, but I can’t help but feel a memory that I forgotten sense the amnesia of a favorite weapon of my father’s. I think he had the same weapon crafted by someone on the abyssal plane made of a metal called Abyssal Blood Iron. I want to find the same weapon.
After taking on the bat demon that gave us the magic items, we eventually came across a cash of weapons from an old civilization. We were lucky in noticing the HUGE python. The appetizer just walked up to the beast and dominated it's puny mind. Inside we found an old winged serpent. Having a just fight ahead of us it was more than willing to give us the weapons and awarded each of us a nice magic weapon. Da fighter got a powerful holly great sword. I got a pair of clawed gauntlets that did both piercing and slashing damage. To making things even better, they were also wounding. So I pity the next creature that decides to swallow me as I WILL tare them from the inside out.
Things went on and we prepared for the on coming fleet. We all pitched in and fortified things quite effectively. In the last few weeks our astonishing elvin wizard came up with what turned out to be a truly vital plan that probably saved everybody’s life. She wanted to limit the amount, or at least the speed of which the boats attacked us. So blocking the entrance to the harbor. We had thought about using meld stone type spells, but thought of just using a rope net. The net seemed to stop them long enough to pull off what I thought would never happen. I saw the long boats of troops headed toward the city and instantly thought that we should run and stop them, the captain thought other wise. After noticing that there were only skeleton crews on the ships he thought to take on the main ship and be-head the snake. I was not pleased, but breaking up in a combat like this is a suicide sentence to everyone.
Again this would have never been possible if it wasn’t for the net we placed by the suggestion by our sweet butt wizard. We stormed the ship noisily but quickly. We were faced with insurmountable odds. At first things didn’t seem too bad as we had our long lasting foe Vanthas (fiendish looking with wings, a tail and everything), a set of 4 archers, and some guppies in red shirts to greet us. Shortly after three vrocks came into the mix!!!
Seeing that sweetbutt was about surrounded, I charged one and hit it with the most powerful attacks possible hoping to get their attention and cleave into the other vrock. Probably due to the my unfamiliarity with the fiends, I hadn’t noticed that it was about to be dropped, a cleave was not possible, but luckily this drew their attention.
Between me, a fire ball from sweetbutt, the captain, and Da fighter, we moped up the vrocks. However before we got finished with them the caster that summoned them decided to appear. I left the remaining vrock to try and take out this new menace.
While we were fighting with these buggers the wizard was keeping the archers busy with a few fire balls. Appetizer was flying over and gave us some magic support, but it didn’t do too well. The journalist and appetizer booth with flight went toe to toe with Vanthas. Appetizer had found a new comrade, a )$%#(%^# griffin! Which did rather decently well going up against Vanthas. The dam thing finger tipped his good hand! I was a bit amazed but what happened next. After a borage of arrows from the archers and a few wacks from a magical quarter staff charged with arcane energy I was brought about to my knees. The journalist then showed some actions un-becoming of her previous actions. She actually tumbled past Vanthas to fly down and heal me. I didn’t know then that she was poisoned and had lost most of her abilities, but it was enough for me to make an escape. Da fighter finished off the mage I had nearly cleaved in two. I then ran to the cabin to heal up a bit. I was nearly dropped again by a bunch of arrows. I felt a bit uneasy, after getting hit by the arrows but I shrugged it off with little trouble. Sweetbutt ran in there with me and tried her best to heal me as I took a curing potion.
Now the wandering journalist did something more in character with her. She grabbed a pendant she had on, and disappeared. Vanthas decided to try and “take us with him” as he poured blood on top of a pearl in remaining unwounded hand. I charged in and finished him off cutting him in two, and with my last ditch effort tried to grab the pearl; I was un able to. Our brave Da fighter quickly picked up the pear as our wizard jumped in and casted fly and Appetizer cast haste on him and he flew out and got it as far away as possible. The effects of the pearl very luckily ruined the long boat troops causing them to turn on each other! I was very pleased.
I and sweetbutt stayed and put out the fires that were started by the fire ball spells. The rest went to take out the flesh golems that were on their way to the city.
Although what we did was very risky, we pulled it off! Now where the hell did our cowardly journalist go to? Well I guess I should stop calling her cowardly for a little, she did help out minimally, and more than usual.
Now with that grand victory is over I only have a few things to not before our break. I am now a captain of the Crimson's fleet lead ship. I was proud to take it knowing that I personally disposed of their admiral, or what ever, and after repairs I am getting the first T-Rex head we got mounted. So I am happy, I have a ship that I took from an evil vial person my self, with a mount from the head T-rex I took out my self as I fell to the ground right after cutting my self free from its stomach. So I got my mounts. I will place a plaque to mark the place I took down Vanthas.
On a side note, as things have been going on I have been finding it a little funny that our dear cleric of Kord seems to be a bit of a contradiction. Yeah he can kick butt, but he does so with no weapon in hand. The least he could do is pick up a sword. Kord him self uses a great sword... I am sure Kord would aprove of my new favorite weapon, Jovar, but with the recent disregard of the city in our last fight has got me thinking how un-Kordian our cleric is.
On a side note, as things have been going on I have been finding it a little funny that our dear cleric of Kord seems to be a bit of a contradiction. Yeah he can kick butt, but he does so with no weapon in hand. The least he could do is pick up a sword. Kord him self uses a great sword... I am sure Kord would aprove of my new favorite weapon, Jovar, but with the recent disregard of the city in our last fight has got me thinking how un-Kordian our cleric is.
The Might Kord is the god of kicking butt, period. He fully respects any form of physical combat and any magic to augment it. The Admiral is a powerful ally and in a combat, I would be placing money on him anyday vs yourself. Also, kord respects oaths like the Admiral has taken to never use a weapon in combat. There is no one right way to worship kord or be a true kordian; there is just the right way for each person to do so.
Perhaps, given the inability of the typed word to convey tone of voice, Sir Ineptus should consider using emotionally expressive words and punctuation to aid in conveying the 'tone' (sarcasm, amusement, wry observationism, sadness, froth-slobbering rage, etc.) intended? Just a thought.
Perhaps, given the inability of the typed word to convey tone of voice, Sir Ineptus should consider using emotionally expressive words and punctuation to aid in conveying the 'tone' (sarcasm, amusement, wry observationism, sadness, froth-slobbering rage, etc.) intended? Just a thought.
In character, I am, concerned and a little disturbed with the lack of concern for the city Muckamuck seemed to have. It has me thinking about other aspects of him that doesn't seem to mesh with my concept of a representation of Kord.
In what why did I not show concern for the city? The original plan I set up was supposed to have us taking as big a chunck out of the fleet as possible and then returning to help the town. When I realized that most of the forces were going to attack the town, but some of the heavy hitters reamined behind, I immediately changed the plan. Apparently you have forgotten that attacking the flag ship was only the first part of the new plan, afterwards we were supposed to immediately head back and try to intercept the longboats or assist with defense. And while Da Fighter flew off with the pearl I hopped on Buttercup and headed back to the town to help out. At all times I attempted to bring out biggest power ((the party)) to bear against the largest threats. This focused the danger on us and as a result completely prevent any loss of life. How would you have had me show more concern?
P.S.
Congratulations to all on the saving of Farshore and the numerous maritime promotions to all.
Also congratulations on reaching the point in the STAP where things really start getting interesting. I will be watching the goings on all the more closely now that this point has been reached. I wish continued good luck to you all to supplement your already prodigious skills.
Now, starting the third year of game time, it remains to see either Commodore Torsin, Commodore Ineptus or Commodore Da Fighter detail their perspectives on recent events the past few sessions...