the shadows; he had been hiding in
a cloud of gaseous fumes from the
explosive Gargamel fallout. Quickly, Impaley Smurf whirled
his head dodging the errant flail ball
only to find himself staring into the
face of Gargameld the lich, whose foetid
innards sloughed off as he rose from
his waterbed. "I'll get you, you little
polearm-wielding twerp, and when I do, I'll
eat you raw, alive, and twitching, with
mustard and horseradish, and a nice Chianti.
Then a crew of hard smurf ninjas
suddenly ghost-stepped out of thin air and
smurfed Gargameld up with their ninja-to's hardcore,
while singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart"
remixed with Ice Cube's "The Predator." It
was a tune unlike any other ever
heard, and hopefully will never be repeated
, as most mortals find such artistic expressions
confusing at best. The smurf ninjas went
medieval on Gargameld's behind, with their nunchucks
and little smurf-sized kyoketsu shogis, and little
teensie-weensie ninja-tos and kamas, as well as
pepper spray. But Gargameld had a secret
ninja skill he had picked up from
a back-alley beggar who thought he was
Stick from Daredevil. What a totally fried
brain he had. The moves he taught
had been passed down through generations of
winos. So Gargameld, haughty in his misappropriated
"drunken" style, procceded to fall and puke
and was dismayed when this didn't succeed
as his now-undead metabolism didn't support the
gag reflex. He couldn't up the chuck,
thus miserably failing his Drunken Master moves
and making his esophagus spasm and rupture
before violently imploding, sucking him into nullspace
and his cat along with him. Smurfette
sighed in relief, as Azrael no longer
turned a golden brown in the campfire.
Brainy Smurf, feeling all witty, said "well,
a smurfed cat still smells smurfed." Then
Impaley Smurf, feeling all cheated by Gargamel's
spontaneous implosion, stabbed Brainy Smurf with his
Swiss Army polearm. "The halberd hungers", he
gibbered, smurfy slobber slithering down his chin,
"It speaks to me. I must heed
and paint it with this bloody deed;
today it feasts on Brainy Smurf's lifeblood
as halberd speaks, let it be decreed!
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