lisamarlene's page

lisamarlene wrote:

Of course I do!

NobodysHome is one of the two people on this planet who make me feel like I ought to be riding the short bus, instead of assuming I'm one of the smartest people in the room. I *always* listen to what he has to say.
I may not like it, but I listen.

Greaaaat... now I have to start making s*** up.

"Hey, AI! Tell me about the fall of the French monarchy and how it relates to Paizo's We Be Goblins campaign. And I don't mind hallucinations..."

Pretty sure that's the plot of a Terry Pratchett novel...

Freehold DM wrote:

Drejk wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

I have my first ever sernik (Polish cheesecake) in the oven, because American-style cheesecake is gross and anything containing cream cheese should be banned under the provisions of the Geneva Convention.

You are beautiful and wise, but are currently speaking craziness.

Who will tell Lisa that we do use cream cheese for cheesecake in Poland from time to time?

Nobody.

Actually, you might be right. She might be inclined to listen to Nobody...

Of course I do!

The thing that irritates me the most about AI is that now you can't tell whether you're dealing with someone who doesn't read what you're sending them or whether you're dealing with someone who hits the "AI reply" button. Both are useless and annoying, but in my opinion the AI is worse.

NobodysHome (To the appraiser appraising my mother's house today): Hi! Just wanted to confirm that you don't need me at the house today.
Appraiser: Sounds great!

Um... WTF is that supposed to mean? Do you expect me there or not?

And the issue is that working with a big tech company, that's been the routine response from project managers for decades; just ask LM about communicating with the Fake Russian some time. Which is probably why the AI is trained to do it.

So now we have automated useless responses.

My favorite Fake Russian story: He once admitted he only ever read the first three sentences of emails because he felt that anyone who couldn't get their point across in three sentences or less wasn't worth listening to. So I put it to the test and on my weekly email discussing organizing our in-person game for the week, in the fourth sentence I put, "And the Fake Russian is a useless so-and-so, so be sure not to bring any food for him." And true to his word, he never read it.

While the email story is factual, the Ersatz Russian has been known to put more effort into communicating with people when he considers it worth the bother.

I have my first ever sernik (Polish cheesecake) in the oven, because American-style cheesecake is gross and anything containing cream cheese should be banned under the provisions of the Geneva Convention.

Speaking of ens****ification, we broach the topic of toilet paper. I have an imagined history of the whole thing:

Public restrooms: People are scum. Public restrooms are one of the lowest common denominators of this scumminess. I cannot comprehend why people are so driven to vandalize, filthify, and otherwise ruin a facility specifically placed to satisfy one of their basic biological needs, but there you go. A decent roll of toilet paper in a public restroom wouldn't last an hour. So they obtained the cheapest single-ply sandpaper possible to provide something marginally better than going out and foraging for leaves. Now there was TP available at one-tenth the price (or less) of decent TP.

Hotel chains: See "people are scum" above. If a hotel provided decent toilet paper, every room would lose 1-2 rolls a day. Honestly, I'd prefer to pay an extra $5/night to get decent toilet paper, but even in hotels charging upwards of $400 a night I've found the single-ply stuff of nightmares. It's corporate greed, through and through, but people learned to accept it, and individually-owned hotels followed suit. I've stayed at a few places with decent toilet paper, but they are by far and away the exception.

Private renters: And this gets me to today's tale. Places like AirBnB and Vrbo let people rent out their spare space. Younger Brother's S.O. has littered their property with RVs and rents out each individual one. Impus Minor is currently staying in a condo that's usually rented out as an AirBnB. So, these are individual places managed by individuals. And yet the TP ens****ification continues. The son of the AirBnB owner came by to provide Impus Minor with TP for his stay. Someone, finding extra TP in our dining room, thought it was ours and put it in our bathroom. Both kids and all of our guests immediately started complaining about the crappy TP we'd bought. Impus Minor took some of our own stock for his stay at the condo.

I really feel that if you rent a place and they provide you...

When the nursing home nuns I used to work for wanted to expand their chain, we had to go to a hearing at SF City Hall. This was in the Willie Brown era, when the dome had *just* been covered in the shiny gold leaf. But the toilet paper in the restrooms? The roughest, industrial-grade single ply. If it were sandpaper, it would be 60-grit. I figured there was probably a metaphor there somewhere.

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I feel like Freehold would like to have this information.

I am a HUGE fan of jidaigeki/Japanese period drama from when I was a small child, watching subtitled Asian dramas on public access TV. It is to my slight embarrassment that only recently in life have I discovered what it was I grew up with- Yoshimune Chronicle- Abarenbo Shogun/The Unfettered Shogun and Zenigata Heiji. I am also a fan of Zatoichi, the blind swordsman, and bought the criteria collection for myself this year for Christmas.

As shown here, the reveal of the main characters identity is always a major part of the show, especially for Abarenbo Shogun.

As for the onsen scene, well. I am Freehold. I will always hold this up as a vital part of any show. But ironically I didnt grow up with it, as onsen scenes at were not a part of the period dramas I grew up with. I WOULD, however, associated them primarily with Ranma, which was the 2nd or 3rd "modern" anime I saw back in 1994.

I loved "Hideyoshi" back in the 90s when it was on Fuji TV in the Bay area, and I seriously geeked out when I realized that the old man whose death had created the power vacuum in the new "Shogun" was, in fact, Saru.

In the car this evening, Tweeny Valeros was singing, "Can you help me hide a body? / c'mon, we can't delay" to the tune of "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?"

I said, "That's just like my friend Ms. Sydney. She's the kind of friend who'd help you hide a body. (pause) Also my friend who is the other Ms. Lisa at school, the gardening teacher. ** (pause) And Uncle Ersatz Russian, of course."

Tweeny Valeros: "Well OBVIOUSLY Uncle Ersatz Russian! Wait, he's never helped you hide a body before, has he?!"

Me: "WHAT?! NO! YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I'VE KILLED SOMEONE?"

Tweeny Valeros: "Well you talk about it all the time! So are you saying that you wouldn't actually kill somebody?"

Me: "Of course I wouldn't!"

Tweeny Valeros: (plays back the recording he's just made) "HAH! Now I've got it on tape!"

Me: "Thanks, kid. You just helped me with my alibi."

Tweeny Valeros: "Wait, WHAT?!"

[**Note: The other Ms. Lisa is my lesbian evil twin. We look nothing alike, we just have the same name and the same sense of humor. We've made it a daily game for years to sexually harass each other at work (she started it) in the most hilarious wording possible, because we have no HR department.]

Freehold, what have you been up to?

EDIT: Impus Major describes it as, "The most uniquely American thing I've ever seen."

...to make no bones about it...

Ugh. Teacher in-service day.
Don't wanna.

Which one of us did this?

Not me. I have like one local fisherman I buy from when I'm visiting my family.

Merry Christmas!

The children woke us with the news that the tree had fallen over sometime during the night, and miraculously, not a single ornament broke!

Hermione and Teensy Valeros are being sweet and kind to each other, and everyone is sitting around the living room, quietly reading their new books.

Bliss.

lisamarlene wrote:

Edit: clothed post. Removed my choir robe, left my dress on.

Got home from church to discover that my darling dog had gotten up on the table and eaten half of the makowiec.
I thought, "Well, I hadn't glazed it yet; a solid drizzle of royal icing will hide some of the damage."
But there is no powdered sugar in the house.
But I *do* have a box of shelf-stable heavy whipping cream.
So I will whip the @#$% out of it and then pipe it on top in rosettes.
The dog is lucky I love him so much.
Poppy seeds aren't bad for dogs, are they?

Uhhh... It actually is potentially toxic for dogs. Better keep an eye on the bastard lovable rogue.

Looked up symptomology.

lisamarlene wrote:

...But I *do* have a box of shelf-stable heavy whipping cream...

Where where where? I've been trying to get GothBard an emergency supply of shelf-stable half-and-half but in spite of all the local stores claiming they have "mini moos", not a single one actually carries them.

I would think Smart and Final should, since they do small restaurant supply. No?

Trader Joe's. It's a one cup pale blue box--like a juice box sans straw--in the baking aisle.

Disclaimer: I had stored it in the pantry because I neglected to read the fine print that read "refrigerate 8 hours before whipping".

Orthos and I are back from Hokkaido!

Was it beautiful and snowy?

Edit: clothed post. Removed my choir robe, left my dress on.

Got home from church to discover that my darling dog had gotten up on the table and eaten half of the makowiec.
I thought, "Well, I hadn't glazed it yet; a solid drizzle of royal icing will hide some of the damage."
But there is no powdered sugar in the house.
But I *do* have a box of shelf-stable heavy whipping cream.
So I will whip the @#$% out of it and then pipe it on top in rosettes.
The dog is lucky I love him so much.
Poppy seeds aren't bad for dogs, are they?

Hail Santa!

\m/

Shouldn't a Santanic cultist appear to the opening riffs of Oye Como Va?

lisamarlene wrote:

Ivan Rûski wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

Ivan Rûski wrote:

I know I shouldn't be complaining about the nice weather, but 77°F is much too warm for 2 days before Christmas. I'll definitely take it over the sub-zero windchills I dealt with for over a decade, but it being this warm now just feels wrong.

Truth. It's supposed to be 86 here on Boxing Day. This is why I vastly prefer the years we spend with my family in Maine to the years we stay here in Texas.

I grew up here in DFW, so you'd think I'd be used to it, but looking back at weather records shows it was mostly in the 40s and 50s at this time of year growing up.

Holy crap, you're stuck here, too?

I swore I'd never come back after I finished college, but here I am. At least I didn't wind up back in Irving like everyone I went to school with.

I swear I'm going to die here and every rat in Oak Cliff is going to gnaw on my corpse.

For me stuck isn't really the word to describe it, though I do understand why some feel that way. I love the metroplex. There is virtually any store or type of restaurant somewhere in the area, and since my parents live outside city limits we get to set off fireworks every 4th of July and New Year's Eve without being bothered by the police. We'll, as long as there isn't a burn ban on. Until my recent unemployment, I was living in Glenn Heights and working in Carrolton. Now I'm back at my folks place in Johnson county.

All I know of Johnson County is Cleburne State Park. I took Teensy Valeros kayaking there last year. It was pretty.

Big Norse Wolf gets cookies.

lisamarlene wrote:

Ivan Rûski wrote:

I know I shouldn't be complaining about the nice weather, but 77°F is much too warm for 2 days before Christmas. I'll definitely take it over the sub-zero windchills I dealt with for over a decade, but it being this warm now just feels wrong.

Truth. It's supposed to be 86 here on Boxing Day. This is why I vastly prefer the years we spend with my family in Maine to the years we stay here in Texas.

I grew up here in DFW, so you'd think I'd be used to it, but looking back at weather records shows it was mostly in the 40s and 50s at this time of year growing up.

Holy crap, you're stuck here, too?

I swore I'd never come back after I finished college, but here I am. At least I didn't wind up back in Irving like everyone I went to school with.

I swear I'm going to die here and every rat in Oak Cliff is going to gnaw on my corpse.

I know I shouldn't be complaining about the nice weather, but 77°F is much too warm for 2 days before Christmas. I'll definitely take it over the sub-zero windchills I dealt with for over a decade, but it being this warm now just feels wrong.

Truth. It's supposed to be 86 here on Boxing Day. This is why I vastly prefer the years we spend with my family in Maine to the years we stay here in Texas.

Ugh. Well, my tiny walking petri dishes gave me *another* bad virus (the second in less than three weeks, and yes, i got all my shots) as a start-of-holiday present, so yesterday was the first time I was able to get out of bed and run errands since Friday afternoon.

And this morning I'm with Hermione at the dentist because we're not even going to talk about why.

And this afternoon I need to start the cleaning and the prep cooking.

I toyed with the idea of declaring today "Naked Solstice Orgy Day" on FaWtL in honor of Freehold's birthday, but (a) some of you might not realize that I am joking, and (b) some folks might take offense, and (c) I'm pretty sure that's not the way the rest of the world celebrates the Solstice, anyway.
I looked it up.
(Like, seriously, I mentioned it to Eve when I texted her last night to wish her a blessed Modranecht, and she thought I was crazy.)
So, hey, let's compromise. The door to the sauna is open, just like on the old Infocom Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy text adventure.
Maybe you'll shed your robe and go in.
Maybe you'll wait outside with a bundle of birch twigs to give him a birthday spanking before he goes and rolls around in the snow.
Yeah, maybe not.
Here's some cake instead. Not suggestive of anything.
Happy Solstice, everyFaWtL!

lisamarlene wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

Before the app, when I salted a place, I'd roll up, get out, throw some salt on the ground and get back in my truck, write down the time and on to the next place.

Now, with the app.

I go in the app, hit find jobs, go to routes, hit all routes, type in the address (but only partially because it can't find the whole address) from the sheet, click on said address, scroll down, click on if I'm salting or shoveling, begin the job, and then I can throw my salt on the ground, and then after I'm done I have to click done and write down in the notes again if I salted or shoveled.

Meanwhile, as I'm filling it out, Penny has completely salted the entire place by herself.

I f!&%ing hate the app.

You're the superhero, she's the sidekick.

The app should be Penny's responsibility.

The app is on my phone.

Is she not riding shotgun?

She is, I actually gave her my phone once and had her fill out the app for the day while I drove back to the shop, for landscaping, where we were at one place the whole day, she vowed never again.

Hmph. Sounds like Hermione, willfully misconstruing which person is the sidekick.

lisamarlene wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

Before the app, when I salted a place, I'd roll up, get out, throw some salt on the ground and get back in my truck, write down the time and on to the next place.

Now, with the app.

I go in the app, hit find jobs, go to routes, hit all routes, type in the address (but only partially because it can't find the whole address) from the sheet, click on said address, scroll down, click on if I'm salting or shoveling, begin the job, and then I can throw my salt on the ground, and then after I'm done I have to click done and write down in the notes again if I salted or shoveled.

Meanwhile, as I'm filling it out, Penny has completely salted the entire place by herself.

I f!&%ing hate the app.

You're the superhero, she's the sidekick.

The app should be Penny's responsibility.

The app is on my phone.

Is she not riding shotgun?

Before the app, when I salted a place, I'd roll up, get out, throw some salt on the ground and get back in my truck, write down the time and on to the next place.

Now, with the app.

I go in the app, hit find jobs, go to routes, hit all routes, type in the address (but only partially because it can't find the whole address) from the sheet, click on said address, scroll down, click on if I'm salting or shoveling, begin the job, and then I can throw my salt on the ground, and then after I'm done I have to click done and write down in the notes again if I salted or shoveled.

Meanwhile, as I'm filling it out, Penny has completely salted the entire place by herself.

I f!&%ing hate the app.

You're the superhero, she's the sidekick.

I am convinced that cats quickly learn which one among their number is "most adorable". Morrigan's small size, kinked tail, and big eyes make her eternally kittenish. So when the cats need to steal something to play with, she gets sent to perform the deed.

So this morning there are Mephisto and Lenore sitting on the floor looking up as Morrigan pops up to the table, finds Impus Minor's dice tray, and carefully reaches in a paw to pluck out the most attractive one.

And she is so d**ned cute doing it I'm helpless to stop her. If it had been Mephisto, I would have tossed him off the table. If it'd been Lenore, I would've said, "Lenore, stop that."
But Morrigan's abject cuteness is too much for me to bear.

The world is fortunate that you and Gothbard had no daughters, because if you had, she surely would have become the most brilliant and adorable tiny supervillain.

EDIT: This is what grandchildren are for.

I swear, watching my brother act as executor of my mother's estate is an out-and-out terrifying embarrassment. You'd expect that if you were named executor of a decent-sized estate, you'd at least do *some* reading up on it before the person passed away. Instead my brother's doing his utmost to get us in legal trouble as quickly as possible:

(1) He took the death certificates straight to the banks and had her removed from all the accounts. Since she was the sole owner of one account, they transferred all the money into his account.

(2) He's been cheerfully dipping into her checking account to pay for all his expenses on an ongoing basis.

(3) Even after we got an attorney and he said, "The funds are locked for 4 months," he said, "Oh, that must only be the trust; I'll keep paying for stuff out of her individual account."

The *one* thing I knew about estates was that all the money in them gets legally locked up for a LOOOOONG time once the person dies. My brother didn't even know that much, and may be getting us into trouble.

Fortunately, no one involved is the suing type.

About half a year after my dad died, we found out by accident that his ex-girlfriend, who had OODLES more money than he did, had access to his bank account and was spending his social security checks. Zero moral qualms.

Now, to her credit, my father was a total grifter and spent his entire adult life sponging off of one well-to-do girlfriend after another, so I'm sure she figured she was just getting back a little of the money she'd given him over the years, and I'm kinda okay with that, or I would be if she weren't such a @#$%.

But as luck would have it, my stepfather died suddenly only a few months after my father, and when my mother went into the social security office with his death certificate to apply for spousal benefits, they asked her "which husband?" because we wouldn't get a death certificate for my dad for five more years, and they had no idea he'd died. So she gave them a copy of the Coast Guard report and a few of the news articles about the wreck so they would at least stop paying money into Dad's account for Judy to steal.

(Yes, her real name is Judy. Judy Powell of Norcross, Georgia. No love lost and I haven't spoken to her in almost twenty years, still kinda bitter. When I called her after the Coast Guard called off the search, she asked me if they'd found the kayak she'd loaned him that he'd kept on the sailboat. Seriously, that's your takeaway? I somewhat gleefully told her that they had drilled holes in the hull of the wreckage and scuttled everything that was left.)

"The police didn't put their whole investigussy into it."

That phrase gives me the ick.

Who puts their whole investigussy into it?

Definitely the ick.

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Also, I saw a thing where there was an article titled "Introverted? Here's how to by more social." and they replied with "Just once I'd love to see an article called 'Extroverted? Here's some tips on how to be quiet and reflective.'" Because I feel that.

drives around in car that has EXTROVERTS RULE written on the side

I say, isnt that gran?

You're not abscondiing ME in that damned thing.

Yesterday we finally got the tree up and the house decorated. Yay.

Today, @#$%ing Nutcracker finally wraps.
(Curses in Ballet Mom)

Four and a half more days of school.
Our faculty holiday luncheon this year is being catered--for free--by the restaurant owned by the father of one of my most difficult students (the one who like to throw food and tantrums and is always calling me a penis).

Sigh.

It's nice when they understand their kid is difficult and want to make up for it.
It would be nicer if they would actually, you know, set some boundaries and parent them.

lisamarlene wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I never thought my driveway was that big, but it sure seemed huge as I cleared 9" of snow off it in sub-zero (Fahrenheit) temps. Surprisingly, it only took 45 minutes (it was light and powdery, not wet and heavy).

I'm sure captain yesterday could have cleared it with a fart without even opening his truck's door.

That sounds like the kind of thing people used to say about Chuck Norris.

FaWtLites don't need Chuck Norris.
We've got the captain.

His action figure comes with three boulders, a pie, a giant doobie, a skid loader, and a shaved bear.

...what kind of pie?

I'm assuming chess. Isn't that one of his specialties?

I never thought my driveway was that big, but it sure seemed huge as I cleared 9" of snow off it in sub-zero (Fahrenheit) temps. Surprisingly, it only took 45 minutes (it was light and powdery, not wet and heavy).

I'm sure captain yesterday could have cleared it with a fart without even opening his truck's door.

That sounds like the kind of thing people used to say about Chuck Norris.

FaWtLites don't need Chuck Norris.
We've got the captain.

His action figure comes with three boulders, a pie, a giant doobie, a skid loader, and a shaved bear.

BigNorseWolf wrote:

TriOmegaZero wrote:

Cyzzane has defended her dissertation. One more semester and an intership, then she will be a real doctor.

Like, allowed to cut up people, allowed to cut up paintings, or perform mad science under lightning storms?

The funniest part about becoming a "real" doctor is that you quickly learn that everyone who insists on being called "doctor" after the first few celebratory months is a complete so-and-so, so you end up not wanting to use the term yourself.

Outside of angry letters to global corporations, I haven't used the term "Dr. NobodysHome" in some twenty-five years now.

Yeah, funny how the more utterly b*****t the degree, the more desperately some people want to throw that title around (cough Whingey Wizzard cough).

Cyzzane has defended her dissertation. One more semester and an intership, then she will be a real doctor.

WOOHOO! CONGRATULATIONS!

Orthos wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

As a new yorker, they will have no choice but to listen to me when I critique it.

The only group Texans disdain more than New Yorkers is Californians. You have been warned.

That whole gag in commercials for Old El Paso salsa where they s#!t on other salsa brands for being made in NYC and then threaten to lynch the guy who brought any brand other than Old El Paso? That's how people in Texas actually talk. If anything, the commercials and the violence they (imply to) inflict on the people using NYC-made products is tame compared to how real-life Texans talk about anything from NY or CA.

This is not a joke. If you are going to travel to Texas, be very careful about talking about being from New York. Unless you spend every moment of talking about the state ensuring everyone around you knows you hate it in NY and are taking any and every opportunity to leave, you WILL risk violence against yourself.

And that goes [u]double[/u] if you make it well-known to too many Texans that you're from there and think ANYTHING about it is better than Texas. And that goes quadruple if you're in a rural area or smaller town.

I know this looks and reads as hyperbolic but I assure you I am not in any way joking.

Orthos. It means the world to me that you would worry for me so. I am aware of the ugliness that occurs in Texas with respect to NY rivalry, and I would certainly do my best to make sure I was not being an ugly tourist. If things got bad(a long ago trip to OH, and a very specific con in CT comes to mind...), I would extricate myself from the situation quickly and with courtesy.

But when it comes to pizza specifically, I will happily take on all comers. I invite Texans to attempt to make a pizza there and compare it to NY pizza. I would include Chinese food but I have heard of the very real Chinese disaspora and have been educated/informed that this is the wrong kind of competition to engender, so I would like to try Texas...

NO. YOU REALLY WOULDN'T.

The best thing about working for Chinese nationals for seven years was that I ate very well. The worst thing is that it spoiled me, and now crappy Chinese food angers me. And I have yet to find even halfway decent Chinese food here.

Now Korean food, that's another story.
There is a f***ton of good Korean food here.

lisamarlene wrote:

BigNorseWolf wrote:

Ok this seems safe to ask...

Is texas pretty desert or are there nice forests around? its weirdly hard to find on a map but oddly I've never google earthed it...

Texas is so big that it has pretty much every biome found on earth except tundra.

The best forests in the state are on the Louisiana border and are wild and a bit swampy, but we also have drier hardwood forests full of oaks and bois d'arc.

Birnam woods comes alive and attacks the french?

OH osange orange. Droooool. That stuff is supposed to be great for bows and bowls. Good carving if you don't mind sharpening/stropping a lot.

YES! It was widely traded for bows on the frontier. Really nice wood.

Ok this seems safe to ask...

Is texas pretty desert or are there nice forests around? its weirdly hard to find on a map but oddly I've never google earthed it...

Texas is so big that it has pretty much every biome found on earth except tundra.

The best forests in the state are on the Louisiana border and are wild and a bit swampy, but we also have drier hardwood forests full of oaks and bois d'arc.

My Schnauzer, meanwhile, is doing his best to outdo cats in the "I brought you a gift of half of a rodent I caught, here it is on the doormat!" department.

They were originally bred to catch rats on ships, but in fifty years, I've never had one who actually did it.

This one does.

Meanwhile, I'm too lazy to find and copy the relevant passages, but as one of the resident Texans on the thread (I know there are a few of us), I for one feel you cannot bash the state vehemently enough. Rotten governance and deregulation have made this a miserable place to live. I could say more, but I would be smurfed for politics.

Ugh. This is the ONE DAY between November 24th and December 20th I could have conceivably turned off my alarm and slept in, so of course I've been awake since 430.

EDIT: Wearing pajamas.

My brain is *so* bad. We're arranging cremation services for my mother. And all that's going through my mind is, "But I'm not dead yet."

O.M.G.

I clicked even though I knew what was coming, and I'm so glad I did,because before the Holy Grail clip, I was treated to a commercial for coffee made with added collagen protein.

Which is made, for those of you who were unaware, from powdered bone and connective tissue.

You're welcome.

Finally, the hospice nurse said that my mother has less than a week to live, so tomorrow morning at 4:30 am I'm driving up to Seattle to see her off. I'll be gone for a few days.

Aargh. Sending big hugs and every prayer that she is able to die peacefully, painlessly, and with dignity.

Love you, NH.

I was morally opposed to automated checkout machines because they take entry-level jobs away from young people. Some stores responded by making automated checkout your only choice. And hoo, boy. "I'm sorry, you can't purchase alcohol at automated checkout machines." "I'm sorry, you can't buy that particular over-the-counter drug at automated checkout machines." "Please place every item in the appropriate area or you won't be allowed to continue. In other words, stop trying to bag your stuff properly and instead leave it in a great pile disorganized pile that spills onto the floor until after you've paid."

The "no alcohol" and "no bagging" just kill me. I'm buying groceries for a family of four for a week. Do you really think I can fit all that stuff in your teensy little "out bin" until my final checkout?

Yes, all of that, but what really fries me is how the thrice-accursed thing has the temerity to try to converse with me as if it is human and has a soul.

F+&% off and die, you piece of bastard circuitry.

My current hobby is whispering "Butlerian Jihad, m$!*~$%#!*+%" to every chirpy automated checkout machine I am forced to interact with.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Woohoo! Now I don't have to talk to strangers in the grocery store! FaWtL is back!

We're having a "cold snap" tonight (upper 30s overnight, 50s tomorrow).
I was too lazy for either barszcz or gołabki, so I made gołabki soup. Basically just all the ingredients chopped up and simmered in bone broth.
But I baked a loaf of homemade rye bread to go with it, because bread is easy.
Valeros calls it "goat monkey soup".

One of the interesting things that Google Maps fails at is the inability to select the "easiest route". If you look up the trip from San Francisco International Airport to Berkeley, there are two obvious paths: Head north through San Francisco and across the Bay bridge, or go east across the San Mateo bridge and north along the eastern shore of the bay.

Timewise, going through San Francisco is almost always the best choice, because there's a bypass that drops you in downtown San Francisco, so instead of miles of bumper-to-bumper freeway traffic you only have to do a few blocks of bumper-to-bumper city traffic. But that city traffic is cutthroat and nasty and incredibly stressful. So on your desktop it gives you all three options (stay on the freeway through San Francisco, do the bypass, or do the San Mateo bridge instead). But for reasons I don't understand, on the phone it gives you just the shortest-time option; we haven't managed to convince it to change the route for any reason.

So, it already has an, "Avoid freeways," option. Why not an, "Avoid city streets in the middle of the trip" option? Soooo many of my Google trips become incredibly stressful because, "OK, now get off in this random city and take these side streets you've never been on before to avoid a 5-minute jam on the freeway..."

Lol, that was basically my commute for a year! The school I was working at was just a couple of exits south of SFO, and we were living just north of you. It sometimes took me over two hours to get home, even knowing every sneaky route around SF that I could find. Not fun with a screaming infant Hermione in the back.

Raising a glass to all my sisters and brothers in the teaching profession who do NOT have to go in to school today.
Children on November first are like college freshmen the morning after their first bender... not quite sure how they got to bed last night, exactly how much they consumed, or when their heads will stop spinning, but they have to go to class and pretend to be human.
It's not pretty.

So, because of [redacted for politics], my school is doing a massive dry goods drive for our local food pantry.
The messaging the parents are using to talk to their children when they shop varies.
One of my three-year-olds walked into the classroom with a big sack this morning and hollered, "HEY! I'VE GOT FOOD FOR SAD PEOPLE WHO LOOK REALLY HUNGRY! WHERE DO I PUT IT?"