khazan's page

Really enjoying this thread, thanks for starting it. There's a lot of lore here that I am regretfully unfamiliar with, so this discussion makes me want to go digging for all the things I need to know.

As an aside, I always found Zyphus, god of accidental death and graveyards and tragedy, to be the sort of deity that most adventurers would offer a prayer to before delving into some dangerous, unknown ruin. In our homebrew world, a cult devoted to him sprang up in the small town nearby a sprawling ancient megadungeon, since so many explorers and adventurers have met their end there in various grisly (and sometimes darkly humorous) ways.

200. A group of young children, wearing homemade "wings" (sticks and fabric scraps tied together and bundled on their backs) encircle the party and squawk and chatter like birds. At first it's cute and funny, then their relentless screeching turns ugly and unnerving. BONUS if the group physically attempts to remove the children from their path, as the children then "burst" into a cloud of crows and fly off noisily.

201. Whilst investigating some underground ruins, the party finds a round, stone-lined room in which stands a single white candle on the floor. The flame flickers slightly upon their arrival. It remains lit no matter the attempt to extinguish it, so long as it stays in the room. BONUS if someone kneels close to the candle and whispers their own name at the flame, for this results in the ability to cast Spark as a SLA.

Only in this costume, that is.

The next poster really likes whipped cream. Like, really likes it.

One arm? Clearly you need to be a Bard that plays a drum...you know, like the guy from Def Leppard...

The fine print:

"Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to James Jacobs.

Caution: James Jacobs may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

James Jacobs contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Do not use James Jacobs on concrete.

Discontinue use of James Jacobs if any of the following occurs: Itching, Vertigo, Dizziness, Tingling in extremities, Loss of balance or coordination, Slurred speech,Temporary Blindness, Profuse sweating, Heart Palpitations.

If James Jacobs begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

James Jacobs may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, James Jacobs should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration... Failure to do so relieves the makers of James Jacobs, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.

If James Jacobs should become soiled, wipe gently with a soft cloth moistened with sulfuric acid.

Ingredients of James Jacobs include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Do not taunt James Jacobs.

James Jacobs comes with a lifetime guarantee.
James Jacobs - ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES! "

(shamelessly stolen from vintage SNL)