Hey all. I've been looking for a place to discuss my roleplaying problems (read:dramas)but have just recently stumbled upon the Paizo forum (odd, seeing as how often I play/dm pathfinder games). After reading how supportive and open minded people are in this forum, i thought I'd give it a shot.
My online rpg group loves romantic storylines. It is always one of the big part of any of our campaigns (we roleplay the downtimes extensively, even outside of sessions) and you often get 2-3 couplings between pcs/npcs each campaigns. This is due to many factors,I believe, such as an almost 50-50 spread of male/female/gay/bi/etc players in our group as well as using virtual tables to play (hence you're looking at the PC's pictures instead of the player), many of the players also came from play by post non-system roleplaying boards, so they very much enjoy character interaction more than combat/dungeoncrawling.
This is most often extremely fun for most of us as it provides a deeper roleplaying experience that can be pursued independent of the dm (we take turns dming episodic quests) but, sometimes, it causes an unhealthy ammount of drama, as the title of this thread may have implied already.
Sometimes, you have more than one PC romantically pursuing one other pc/npc and this gets ugly. It leads to people bickering or being passive aggresive (which is sometimes funny because all three players are often straight males)and I can recall one case of a player hitting the DM because the DM's NPC tried to give cpr to his character's romantic interest (Yes, I don't play with that guy anymore)
I've been involved in some of these and they never really bothered me because, well, it's just a roleplay, but recently something happened that bothered me greatly.
I started dating a friend of mine who I met through a 4th ed dnd game (I always thought she was a guy because she roleplayed a teenage boy when we first met, but when we met in a star trek convention, she turned out to be this really pretty girl). In our latest pathfinder campaign, we played a romantic triangle between her character, mine and a friend of mine's.
I played the part of the spurned party and I was perfectly ok with that at first, but then as time goes on and she and my friend started roleplaying their romantic relationship (Which includes sex and marriage), I find myself feeling bothered, especially when they discuss it in front of me, so I spoke up about it but made it perfectly clear I don't want them to change the way they roleplay. My girlfriend and friend convinced me that I'm being irrational (And, really, I was)and that I needed to get over it. It was just a gay dude and a girl roleplaying a romantic storyline (which I do a lot as well)
Eventually, after a long storyline filled with drama and romance, a plot twist happened and my girlfriend's character changed her mind. My friend then freaked out, saying that we're both very rude to 'ruin his romantic pairing' and thus ruining his enjoyment.
I found it to be a very hypocritical thing to do. I gave him the chance to roleplay the way he wanted, even when it bothered me, but when the situation was reversed, he insists that me and my girlfriend were being rude. Along the course of the storyline, he even tried to subtly affect the story to his advantage (either as dm or outside the game).
It slowly became a pattern with him, everytime something happens to his 'pairings', he gets really angry and defensive, saying he 'worked hard' for them, but really, shouldn't everyone be free to roleplay the way they like?
Is it impossible to roleplay romantic storylines without drama? In my opinion, conflict between characters who want the same thing is normal, this should be no different.
Sorry for the long post and I hope I can get some feedbacks :)