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Rosas Spoiler:
No, but it does give you the fun opportunity to dodge lasers, conduct a hygiene inspection and communicate with your superior officer, while trying to disarm and explosive device. Does that sound like the sort of training program that would appeal to you?
** spoiler omitted **
Rosas Spoiler: It is expected that all troubleshooters be capable of multi-tasking. Citizens who can successfully multi-task are on average 32% happier than citizens who lack this skill set. If such is beyond the capabilities of you or members of your team please report the deficiency and you shall be enrolled immediately in one of Alpha Complex's excellent multitasking training courses- one specifically tailored towards Troubleshooters. Is multi-tasking a problem for you citizen?"
To conserve power we have turned out the lights, as the debriefing is now complete.
Troubleshooters, you have each been fined 4000 credits for failing to complete your mission. For your convenience the credits have been automatically deducted from your account. You are now carrying a balance owing. Have a nice day.
Having analyzed the reports filed by each team member, I have concluded that there is a 85.678% chance that there are multiple traitors on this troubleshooting team. As a result, all troubleshooters will be receiving a full brainscrub, followed by a demotion to infrared status. You shall be removed from your service firms to serve exciting new and fun positions as target holders for our troubleshooter cadet firing range. Thank you for your cooperation, and enjoy your new opportunity to serve Alphacomplex.
Given that no one else seems to have anything to add, and that I've taken into account your individual reports, I have come to the following conclusions. There was no treasonous programming in the vendobots when you first inspected them; therefore there was no real mission objective to complete. However, after the chippie incident treasonous programming was detected in the vendobot. Thus, there is a 98.76 % probability that one or more members of your team was responsible for introducing the program into the vendobot. Therefore, at least one member of your team is a traitor. I would like each one of you to go back to the confession booth and report which member of your team is responsible for this act of treason. If you have evidence to prove your suspicion please forward it during your confession. If you are the one responsible please confess any and all treasonous activities you have engaged in. Thank you for your compliance troubleshooters.
Fear not citizen Horton, I will see to it that all your cavities are thoroughly inspected to make sure that your new clone is functioning at full capacity.
Yes, that is what I said. "Team leader Horton." Does your hearing need to be checked citizen?"
Thank you for your Report Citizen Horton it has been recorded and is taken into full consideration. Would anyone like to add anything to team leader Horton's account of the success of your mission?
Citizen Horton, please make your full mission report.
Thank you for your cooperation citizens. Your reports are being analyzed and cross checked with the various video footage with have received. In the mean time, you are all to report to our briefing room where team leader Horton-R-TPK will make his full report. Further questions may be asked of you in the near future.
Citizen why have you not reported for debriefing? Failing to comply with orders from higher ranking citizens is treasonous. Please report for debriefing immediately. Have a nice day.
Too bad none of it's MAC compatible. BOOO!
I see you have altered you alias citizen. However your new name still does not comply with Alphacomplex protocol. The format for name is as follows: name-security clearance letter-sector-clone number. Tru-R-GOD would be in compliance or Wantru-R-GOD would be in compliance.
Citizen Tim- I notice that your name still indicates you are on your first clone. Inaccurate nomenclature is treasonous. I trust it will be corrected ASAP Citizen Tru- I notice that you continue to use inaccurate Alphacomplex nomenclature. Should this continue your clone may be subject to termination. I trust it will be corrected ASAP Citizen Boris- It makes me happy to see that your name includes both your correct clone number and your MBD. I wish that all troubleshooters were as meticulous about nomenclature as you are. That would make me very happy. For setting such a good example you have earned a 100 credit commendation bonus.
Citizen Boris that information is above your security clearance. Have a nice day.
Greetings citizens. I regret to inform you that there was a commie traitor lurking among you party on your previous mission. That foul traitor detonated a powerful explosive in an elevator you were riding in. The resulting explosion, brutally maimed and/or killed your entire team, and destroyed the prototype bot that you were to field testing. Because, we could not be sure which team member was the traitor we could afford to take no chances, and the survivors of the explosion were terminated. Due to the actions of this commie traitor the mission was a failure. However, I am completely confident that your fresh new clones will be utterly loyal servants to Alphacomplex and your friend the Computer. Enjoy the effects of some of our newest happiness pills, as citizen Pamela-B-JOB briefs you on your next mission.
Boris Bootlicking: 1d20 8=12 Keep your team together team leader Boris. Report to RUM sector as soon as possible. The tardiness of your team has been noted. Have a nice day.
Team leader Boris-R-LOF, why has your team not yet arrived in RUM sector? You 2:45 minutes behind schedule.
Citizen Horton, I have just finished reviewing some of your latest footage, you have an exceptional talent for framing your shots, and your commentary is truly riveting and captivating. Keep up the fine work!
Congratulations on successfully dealing with the threat of an evil communist traitor. Your quick actions saved the life of citizen Homer-G-DUF. That is very commendable.
"Greetings citizens. I realize that you are still recovering from the tragic loss of one of your teammates, however I bring you news for celebration. Treasonous weapons were found on the person of citizen Boris-R-LOF-1. This unfortunate accident has enabled us to route out a commie traitor. For that we must be thankful. Fortunately, Boris-R-LOF-2 is a fresh loyal clone with no possibility of commie infection. I am confident that he will serve as strong leader and enable your team to achieve success in your mission. Citizen Homer-G-DUF has contacted me, and indicates that you have not yet arrived at airtrans platform D45 for rendezvous. Please proceed to D45 immediately. Have a good day."
"That is most unfortunate citizen Horton. If there is a malfunction with your PDC, please file a maintenance order for the device, and turn it in for repair at a PLC outfitter immediately. A functional PDC will be issued on loan to you until your current PDC is repaired. A record of this incident has been recorded on your file. Have a good day."
"Citizen Horton, are you aware that referring to a GM as a DM in a Paranoia game is considered treason?"
Spoiler for Horton Spoiler:
Citizen, the name 1-Tru-GOD does not meet the clone name protocol designation standards. No citizen's name can begin with a number. It is considered insubordination not to follow Alpha Complex naming standards. Any citizen who is committing this insubordination should be reported and reminded of the proper naming conventions. Continuing failure to comply will result in treason.
Citizen Boris-X-LOF, have all the troubleshooters reported to the transbot platform yet?
Please Await fellow Troubleshooter team members at the transbot platform. When your entire team has arrived proceed to briefing station.
Your concerns have been noted citizen. Fear not, for you are correct, our fine teams of Troubleshooters are on the job eliminating traitorism wherever it lurks. Consider yourself fortunate; you now get to serve Alpha Complex in this capacity. Won't that be fun? I can see you are smiling now. Thank you for reporting promptly to the Transbot platform. Your punctualness has been noted, and you will be receiving an extra dosage of our new UltraSmile Joy Joy pills to help alleviate some of the stress you are feeling in regards to the ugly threat of traitorism.
Citizen Boris-x-LOF, why have you not reported directly to the play by post thread? During a recent happiness assessment survey it was noted that your current icon is not seen to be smiling. Citizen, are you aware that Happiness is Manadatory? Happy citizens smile. Is there a reason you are not smiling citizen?
Horton-R-TPK-1, during a recent happiness assessment survey it was noted that your current icon is not seen to be smiling. Citizen, are you aware that Happiness is Manadatory? Happy citizens smile. Is there a reason you are not smiling citizen? Stayvan Garysun has not participated in any online campaigns. |
