Yossa-R-IAN's page

"Yes, Friend Computer!"

"Yes, Friend Computer!"

Yeah! I died with 5 Perversity Points! What do I win?

Just checking, was everyone here secretly part of Corpore Metal? EDIT: Forgot that, as the game is over, no-one cares if I read their spoilers. I guess I thought wrong. Although, that would be an awesome bit for a game, everyone being part of the same secret society but not realizing that everyone else is too...

Wait, you got illegal stimulants and a lightsaber, and all I got was No-Doze and Kamina-glasses! (yes, Yossa's sunglasses are that pointy) Then again, I did get a sweet trench-coat...

As the transbot begins it's movement, I bash Yossas over the head with my Multicorder, then I go after the transbot itself...

Yossa slumps down over the steering wheel. "You.. traitor."

Suddenly, the cabin is filled with the smell of roasting flesh as Rosas spontaneously combusts. Yossa leans back and slips on a pair of pointed, showy orange sunglasses, all the while keeping the bot accelerating towards the nearest large object. His final thoughts? "Forgive me Trenchy, I will always love you."

A shame to see this finally die. Still, it was fun while it lasted. Thank you for running it.

"Sorry Rosas, I don't have time to listen. I only have time to drive!", says Yossa as the transbot screeches out of its spot.

GM:

Well, I haven't had a chance to drive absurdly fast leaving a trail of mangled bodies in my wake, so lets keep playing.

"Well, you read the note, people. Now, *Dramatic Finger-Point* ON TO ROOM 55!"

GM:

"Yes, sir!"

Yossa complies with the orders.

Yossa freezes mid-step. "Now, what seems to be the problem, sirs?", he says with awe.

Yossa looks over the experimental equipment. "You know, I always wanted to be able to drink Bouncy Bubble Beverage even faster." With that, he throws open his trenchcoat, buckles the belt around his waist and, if it isn't already loaded, he takes six cans of Bouncy Bubble Beverage from various pockets and loads them in.

These are going to come out with lethal force aren't they? :)

"Hey, that could work. Benedict, go shove a firecracker up Johnny's anus."

"Teah, I say Johnny should give them a try. You could use a bit of calming, Johnny."

Yossa places a hand on Benedict's shoulder and peers at his work. "Don't worry Benedict, I'm sure you won't cause a catastrophic malfunction."

GM:

Yossa picks himself after his daring leap to dodge debris.

"That's the truth. Hey, Zippy! Do you work?", he says as he looks at Doc's arm.

GM:

"Rolf! Are you saying you don't love to hate commies? That's treasonous, Rolf."

"I just said it's treasonous. You don't have to fling yourself into traffic."

"I can't let Zippy get smashed into a million peices. I need him for, uh, something.*Pulls out megaphone*Hey, Zippy! It looks like Jack's leaking oil again! Come over here and clean it up!"

"You saw the note. Off to Pyrotechnics!"

GM:

"Docter Bot, I presume."

I have returned!

GM:

Meanwhile, Yossa is running.

Running so fast that no-one will notice that I am unable to post from Friday to Sunday.

"No, I'm ordering you to follow me to the outfitters. There's a difference. You'll have to talk louder in the future, though. I still don't have a PDC! Move! I don't have all day here!

"Well, the needs of the team first, and the team needs its leader to have a PDC! To the Outfitters!"

*Dramatic Trenchcoat Flourish, then runs out the door to the Outfitters*

"Alright, newly-decanted team! Who wishes to accompany me to *Dramatic Trenchcoat Flourish* the Outfitters!"

"Oh, yeah, that's right. Benedict was the only one who left to go to the bathroom. The others would say so too, if they were alive."

Yossa seems to be calming down.

GM:

GM:

"What! PDC is really broken? that PDC *sob* w-w-was the closest thing to a friend I had. I... I "

*Buries his face in his hands, trying to hide his tears*

GM:

"What, you mean I left this PDC *Takes out PDC* broken in a bathroom?!? The one I received a message from Friend Computer[b] on no more than [b]5 minutes ago!?! Besides, I would never break my PDC unless I was directly ordered to! This PDC is one of the only things I can rely on to do it's job, other than Friend Computer, who always does its(his/hers) job in this Complex! Why can't the rest of this team just live up to the standards Friend Computer sets for them!"

Yossa has an expression of overdramatic anger (with a smile, of course).

Yossa ** spoiler omitted **

Yossa-R-IAN wrote:

I will respond to this grievous accusation once the GM answers the following question. This will decide whether Yossa will do the logical thing or the f-ing cool thing. ** spoiler omitted **

I will respond to this grievous accusation once the GM answers the following question. This will decide whether Yossa will do the logical thing or the f-ing cool thing.

"Well, I can only assume we're still in the place we were before the lights went out. After all, we haven't leave this room yet."

*The sound of a dramatic trenchcoat flourish*

GM:

"Hey, can someone make that stop beeping?! It's distracting me from my commanding presense."

GM:

Yossa turns around dramatically. "Alright, team, new technically-not-a-mission! Earn some credits!"

Then the lights go out, and he is quiet.

GM:

"Well, I did sucessfully lead the team in obtaining the equipment for our upcoming mission. We would of been here sooner, but half the team apparently didn't understand that when they are ordered to go to a mission debreifing, they shouldn't continue to stand around the equipment depot."

"We can see that, Rosas."

*Stands at attention*

"Troubleshooter team R-TPK-4 reporting for Mission Breifing."

Actually Rosas was still poking around in the store room, while everyone else was busy yapping and pill popping, which was mostly taking place just behind the desk or in the main area.

Oh, I hate it when facts get in the way of a good joke.

into the PDC "YESSIR!" runs around like a keystone cop

"I meant move to the mission breifing! Everyone, just follow me, alright?"

*Once again heads out to try to get to the breifing on time*

Rosas calls Team Leader on the PDC.

"On my way team leader! All hail the computer!"

** spoiler omitted **

*Answers PDC* "Oh, that's good to know, since I'm still standing right next to you, waiting for you all to finally be ready to leave for the mission breifing! Move!"

*Takes pill. Grins even more and somehow seems even more 'self-assured'*

"Hey, those Teela-o pills better be at our clearance, or you'll me shot like the mutant you are! The question is, why are we still here when we got a mission briefing to go to?! Come on, lets get going, people!"

"Team, what are you doing in here, acrobatics? Let's get moving, we can't keep the Computer waiting, people!"

*Stops* "Wait a minute Team! New plan. We go back, get the other half of the team, then go to the debreifing! Move!"

*Runs back to get the slow half of the team*

Johnny, are you saying that Yossa has on Blue and Orange clothes under his big jacket-thingy? No wonder he wears such a big jacket-thingy. It's not because he's trying to compensate for something, like you said. It's because he's a traitor! Imagine ... Blue AND Orange! Blast him! (but not with the detergent cannon, I'm still working on that.)

"Hey, I heard that! You saw me take this off before the Ultraviolet citizen came. Also, I'm not compensating for anything, I'm just that good! That's why I'm the leader here!"

Yossa, not Johnny! Johnny doesn't have these leadership skills!

Did everyone catch that little trenchcoat florish when he answered his PDC? It was soooo awesome! Yossa is so f&&&ing cool!

Don't forget it, baby.

*Suavely checks PDC*

"Alright people, no time for more equipment, time for our mission assignment! Section F, Room 258, TPK Sector, move it, people!"

*Begins running with everyone else*

I don't know about you guys, but I can't stop laughing.

Well, we have a vain guy who's trying to look as cool as possible with a smoke detector on his chest, a mutant carrying a robot arm, an overemotional Happiness Officer, a partying Recording Officer chick, and a surly Hygeine Inspector with a detergent gun. Yeah, I'm laughing.

"Johnny, give him the equipment already. His whining getting annoying."

"He's pretty weak looking. I don't think he can carry it. And I wouldn't want him handling something that would harm him. Didn't you notice he's a mutie?"

"Hey, he can carry your detergent cannon fine, he should be able to carry this fine"

*Looks at yellow arm warily*

"You sure we're supposed to have that? Benedict, you're the equipment guy, you get to carry it."

"Oh, Johnny, let Benedict take a look at the equipment, and don't take all the laser barrels for yourself. We want to kill Commies too."

GM:

"Yeah, we're here to requisition some equipment for our upcoming mission. Yeah, we're troubleshooters. It's what we do."

*Shows the man the mission statement*
What is the correct term for that paper with a command from Friend Computer on it, anyway?

"Hey, Benedict, that thing better be repaired fast. It's the only thing we have to kill Commies with until we get our barrels. High-powered cleaning supplies make Commies melt, you know. I've seen it with my own eyes."

*Returns his rifle*

"Goodbye, Riff. I'll miss you."