Golwan's page

so many ideas, so little time ... that's what went through my mind when reading this adventure proposal. Less would have been more in this case. It does get difficult following the plot reading through it the first time. There are a lot of interesting ideas and I really like the devilish plot and the political game in the story. With some editing it could become an interesting adventure to play. Nice effort.

a good adventure proposal for sure ... there is some nice stuff in there, I really like the adventure hook and the collapsing tower part and the sphinx part. Overall it is somewhat linear though and the end comes off somewhat anti-climactic on paper ... it would probably be fun to play though but some more involvement of the players in the outcome besides calling forth the Phoenix would be nice. Overall a solid story and a good job.

a great story ... if you start after the assassination. Most groups would not hang around and let themselves get arrested, I know my group
wouldn't. And obviously it is far too much to put into 32 pages. Besides from that a lot of great ideas and an interesting story. I would rather not have the Three Sons of Onuyaka and their team be slain by their arcane scholar but rather give that opportunity to the players after the encounters that they have had with them. I am certainly looking forward to playing this adventure and that does not happen so often. Good job.

Without a doubt the best of the four entries. It immediately got me interested and I kept reading and imagining the adventure and how it would unfold with my group. Superb quality and certainly well worth winning the contest. There is really not much to criticize here but a lot to praise: A lot of fresh ideas and enemies, a good adventure hook and great scenarios throughout the story. I am looking forward to which path my group will take when we will finally be able to play it. Great job, you got my vote.