Search Posts
Sorry, I've been busy with school/work lately. It's been a blast, but I don't think I'll be much of an asset with how sporadically I've been posting lately. I'll just bow out after this last debrief (which I'll post later tonight) and hopefully I can catch another game or latch back onto this one when I've got the free time again.
GM: Spoiler: Our mission was proceeding as planned, with Logan stocking the chippies in the first vendobot while I ran a diagnostic. Then the citizens in the cafeteria began to take chippies without paying. Since Horton and Logan were working to stock and I was busy carrying out our primary mission, I can only assume that Wantru and Boris neglected to guard the chippies and made the citizens unhappy by tempting them with unguarded chippies.
Boris attempted to calm the crowd, but his speech mentioned the word "commies" many, many times. In fact, I'd suspect that using the word "commies" that many times without "kill all" or "death to" before it is likely treasonous. Also, he was the unhappiest Happiness Officer I've ever served with. He dispensed adequate amounts of pills, but I don't recall seeing him ever take any. Wantru did not take his appointed turn to stock chippies, violating a direct order from our Team Leader, Horton. He did not defend the chippies, rescue Logan from the vendobot, or assist me when Orange level citizens attempted to stop me from returning for debriefing and attempted to steal my PDC. Bob attempted to convince me to stay and clean up the mess, counter to the direct order from the Computer to return for debriefing. He attempted to convince the team leader to run rather than defend the snacks and the vendobot against unauthorized and unpaid consumption. He also claims that the Happy Shapey Chippies were infected with communism. This can't be true, since the chippies came from Miss B-JOB, a loyal citizen of high rank. Obviously, Bob is simply spreading communist propoganda in a treasonous attempt to slander her and the rest of our loyal team by association. On the slim chance he is correct, I can only assume that they chippies were infected by a traitor or traitors in our midst. Given my prior reports, the only plausible suspects are Wantru and Boris, as they were not directly involved in the stocking or the primary objective of running diagnostics on the 'bots, which I was doing as per orders. Logan served well and died in the line of duty. However, I must report that he died after making a horrible mess of the vendobot and was fired upon by a Yellow IntSec citizen. He was also chronically unhygenic. Horton disobeyed a direct order from a Yellow IntSec member, but otherwise served admirably as Team Leader.
Tim grabs his PDC, smiles at the man, and hustles off after the rest of the team. "Have a nice day, citizen!" Tim waves his laser at him in emphasis.
Tim gets to his feet, draws his laser and points it at the Orange citizen with his PDC. "That contains important information that needs to be delivered to a Blue citizen. Hand it over and you won't be the next exclusive your buddies report on."
Tim thrashes on the ground and attempts to fight off his attackers. "Help! They're stealing my PDC! And dirtying my jumpsuit! Treason!"
"Tim, I trust you to stay behind and clean this mess while we return the chips. After all, you are the Hygiene Officer. You are the most suited to this epic task." Tim hustles along with the rest of the team back to the debriefing, heedless of the media crews. "Sorry, Bob, but I'm afraid I have to return for debriefing with the rest of you; I have direct orders from the Computer." Tim activates his PDC and replays a portion of the message he just received. Computer: "...please report back to your mission supervisor for debriefing immediately." Tim holds his PDC up, smiling. "Unless, of course, you'd like to countermand that, Bob?" GM: Spoiler: Tim will keep the a/v recorder ready in case Bob says or does anything incriminating.
"Return the chippies? No treasonous programming in the vendobots? Is she serious?" Tim joins in collecting the wayward chippies. "What if the bags are opened? Or worse, if these commies have eaten some?" PDC: Spoiler: Quietly: "Computer, a hypothetical scenario: Someone tainted foodstuffs to promote treasonous behavior and unhappiness in citizens, then sent others to unknowingly distribute these products. What would be proper procedure Troubleshooter procedure to handle such a situation?"
"A D20 series? Wow, that guy wasn't kidding when he said we'd get an obsolete unit. These things are ancient! Way too clunky, full of bugs, and worthless once the new 4E series was released." Tim twitches, ducks an antiseptic spray, and retreats a safe distance. Then he seems to remember where he is, darts his eyes around quickly, and coughs. "I mean, how very thoughtful of the higher ranking members of Alpha Complex to keep these old units in production. They do have their uses. This one looks like it needs a tune-up though. Perhaps I can help?"
"This vendobot checked out perfectly the first time around. There was no treasonous programming, I'm sure of it!" Tim narrows his eyes and looks around the room suspicously. "Our...strategic withdrawl from the chip-induced commie frenzy may have been just the distraction that allowed some traitor to reprogram it, while we were fighting for our lives...and to protect the chippies." Tim's eyes narrow even further. "This facility may be concealing a traitor...working in cahoots with whoever tainted our chippies with that, that, commie inducing agent."
"This vendobot wasn't playing, er...music when we first got here, was it?"
Tim checks to see if this place has one of those hand maps with the little dot that indicates where you are. After all, we need to get to those vendobots.
"What would you recommend for a slightly nauseous feeling...and nervousness about the unhygenic condition of the team?" Tim fumbles around in his kit. "That reminds me, here's some moist towlettes for all the surviving members. Clean yourselves up."
"Are we done killing commies? As much fun as that is, there are vendobots that need inspection."
"By everything that's good and happy! That citizen! He's...he's...terribly unclean. Not to mention, dead." Tim will shoot him too, whether or not he's already fallen down. "Why should commies get to eat Happy Shapey Chippies if we can't?"
Tim, not wanting to be trampled, but not wanting to get lasered either, attempts to escape while still complying with the IntSec officer's commands. He grabs the diagnostic equipment off the floor next to him with one hand and then begins rolling away across the floor, moving for the most vacant area. "We've still got a job to do. Riot control is clearly an IntSec problem. If we don't get these vendobots checked, we fail our mission." GM: Spoiler: As soon as he gets to a clear area, Tim is up and running. I'll try to find the next nearest vendobot and start running the same programs as last time. If any of the crowd tries to grab me, I'll use my mutant ability (slippery skin) to slip free.
Tim immediately complies with the Yellow citizen's orders.
"Oh no! That's horrible!" Tim gazes wide-eyed at the carnage within the vendobot. "Such unhygenic conditions! All those snacks, ruined! And we lost Logan!"
Tim eventually looks in the direction of the voice saying his name; it seems to take a while for his eyes to focus directly on you. "What button? That button? Why are you interested in that button?"
"YAH,STOCKTHATf!@&ERUPLOGAN!"
Tim gives a nod to Horton. Tru: Spoiler:
Reply email: The diagnostic is almost complete. I've taken the liberty of adding a safety measure to the bot's programming. If anyone attempts to tamper with its structural integrity, it will automatically close and seal itself to prevent tampering. GM: Spoiler: I'll add a subroutine that makes the bot automatically close and seal itself to prevent tampering if anyone does anything to compromise its structural integrity while it is open.
GM: Spoiler: I'll run the system scan and check for any abnormalities in the programming while simultaneously building new subroutines for the computer. Any code entered for food will offer the next product in line. Also, the bot should say "Death to the Computer. Have a nice day," at the end of every transaction. I'd like to set this up so that the new commands take over after a 10 minute delay.
I don't want to run the risk of killing Horton and being seen pressing the button. Can I program the bot to auto-close 60 seconds after it's been opened?
Tim will hook his PDC to the vendobot via the access panel circuitry and run a check on its programming. Once he does, he'll draw his laser and keep a wary eye on the crowd to be sure no one rushes him while he works. "Recording Officer, you should keep that camera trained on these Reds and make sure that any treasonous behavior, like stealing chippies without paying, is documented. I'll get this check done as soon as I can." GM: What do I need to roll to run the check on the bot? Spoiler: If the bot is malfunctioning, is there any way I can falsify the readout and/or make the problem worse?
<Horton tries to Jimmy it open with his.... ummmm... Laser.> Horton:whispers Spoiler: "Just shoot it open. Doing it that way will just scratch up your laser and get germs all over it."
"What was what?"
"Boris, perhaps we could pacify the crowd a bit if you were to open your box and sell some bags of chippies? We can keep them happy and get about our business at the same time."
"How are we going to get this panel off, Team Leader? We weren't given a key. I suppose you could always shoot it off, as you mentioned. We need to hurry, and these people aren't looking happy. We can't be accused of making people unhappy, that could be considered treasonous."
GM: Spoiler: Oh, and how much do bags of Happy Shapey Chippies sell for from the vendobot? If it looks like Horton will take my advice and use his laser to open the panel, I'll be sure to take pictures of it with my PDC and send them to the Computer.
After taking his pills, Tim's smile seems relaxed and his eyes a little droopy. "Woah... Horton is a great leader when he's happy." Sets his box of Happy Shapey Chippies aside. "I have some experience in bot maintenance and programming, Team Leader. Shall I test the bot and see how it's functioning?"
"Aren't we supposed to be inspecting the vending machines, Team Leader? We have a pass. We could probably just go right to the front of the line." Tim fumbles with his box, shaking it slightly. "I wonder how many bags of chippies are in each box? I love Happy Shape Chippies."
"WHAT ABOUT ROBOTS!?!?!?! DO ROBOTS MAKE YOU HAPPY?!?!?!?! WHAT ABOUT WHEN A ROBOT RUNS OVER YOUR FOOT?!?!?!" "YES! PASSIONATELY!!! PAINFULLY PASSIONATELY!!! TECHNOLOGY CAN DO NOTHING BUT MAKE OUR LIVES EASIER!"
Tim cringes under the Happiness Officer's verbal assault, then stands to attention, fixes a large smile on his face, and answers: Q: "If you got to kill a commie, how would that make you feel?" A: "HAPPY!" Q: "If you found out who killed our team last mission what would you do to them? A: "KILL!" Q: "If you failed to execute a mission for the computer, how would that make you feel?" A: "SAD!" pulls out a Roa-R-SHK test kit...holds up a card Q: "What do you see?" A: "HAPPY!"
Hygiene Officer's Report (to the group and entered into PDC): Horton: Presentable and showing adequate hygiene. Administered treatment: Hair combing; inspection of potentially unsightly mole on the left side of the neck; generous dose of STA-Fresh breath spray, super-mint. Boris: Presentable and showing adequate hygiene. Administered treatment:Anti-wrinkle porta-iron applied to jumpsuit for unsightly wrinkle; generous does of STA-Fresh breath spray, fresh algae formula. 5 credit fine for flinching during ironing. Bob: Presentable and showing adequate hygiene; slight toejam odor from left foot. Administered treatment: Sonic footscrub; hair combing; single dose of STA-Fresh breath spray, fresh-waxed floor flavor. Logan: Adequate hygiene, signs of rash, untraceable foul odor. Administered treatment: Various unguents applied to rashy area (unsure of actual effectiveness...no immediate change); vigorous scrubbing with moist towelettes; generous dose of STA-Fresh breath spray, special Teela-O bubblegum flavor, to mouth and anus. 5 credit fine for confusing hygiene officer. GM, PDC entry: Spoiler: Logan-R-Run showing strange skin condition of unknown origin. Could be possible signs of mutation. Hygiene officer will keep close watch for any future developments that may lead to the need for summary execution.
"What sort of robots are we talking about? There are lots of varieties..."
"I'm fine. Do I look fine? I feel fine. How are you? "Am I killing this commie during a mission, or have I been designated as executioner?" "What am I allowed to do to them? Aren't there some forms of execution that are beyond my security clearance?" "Did I fail the mission because I wasn't good enough, or was it due to interference from commie-mutant-traitors?" "It looks like a happy face. Is it a happy face? What do you see?"
Tim-R-PRO-3 stands, smiling and talking directly to Pamela-B-JOB's bosom, for some reason. "Sounds like an easy mission. I'm sure with Horton at the helm we'll be finished in no time. Since it won't take long, and we're dealing with food for citizens, I think a hygiene inspection is in order. After all, no one wants to eat food stocked by dirty clones." Tim's eyes narrow as he looks askance at Tru. "Team Leader, I'd like to start with...this one. Boris can be next. I'll move on to Logan. As Team Leader, you can be last, so you can oversee my work with the others...unless you'd rather go first, so you can observe hygenically." Tim slips on a face mask and snaps on a pair of latex gloves.
"I hear mutants glow in the dark. I can't see anything, so I guess we're all okay here. Haha!" GM: Spoiler:
How big is the Teela-O pocket mirror in relation to a laser barrel? "Hey, who's touching me over there? This is hardly the time for a hygiene inspection, Bob. Haha!" GM: Spoiler: After speaking, I'll quietly move to a corner/wall of the elevator, so if anyone decides to take a shot at me, I won't be in the position I was in when the lights went out. I'll also crouch down on the balls of my feet and keep my laser handy.
"That bot looks heavy and awkward. Tsk, tsk. Still, I have no doubt your selfless loyalty will be rewarded. As loyalty officer I'll recommend you for an appropriate commendation for your extra labor." Takes a drag off his cigarette and blows a smoke ring.
"BOO"! As Boris spring ups! "Gotcha!" Tim lets out a squawk, then laughs."Good one Boris! You're pretty good at playing dead. I almost dropped my smoke." Looks around... "I wonder when that Green citizen will be returning?" Checks the time on his PDC.
"Um, you're welcome? Boris?" Tim lights his smoke and then leans down, poking Boris with a finger.
"Commies have 12-piece dining sets?" Logan eyes Tim warily. "That's hard to believe. It's so.. so capitalistic! Imagine all the money that could be made if everyone had to buy 12 pieces instead of just a fork and spoon." "Well, I don't know...I was just trying to make a point. I don't know much about commies except that they're traitors and enemies of The Computer. My main point wasn't so much the utensils as it was the blowing up part. I mean, if you don't buy anything and you're just given things, you can have as much as you want, right? Or as much as they want?" *twitch* "This isn't a very fun conversation anymore." Tim pulls out his pack of smokes and sticks one in his mouth, then offers the pack to Logan. "Cigarette?"
*twitch* "Yes,sir, of course sir. Considering how close it is, I'm sure I could get there and back in no more than 18 seconds, sir. I might even come back with things that will allow us to blow commies into little, itty, bitty bits..."
"I think I see where you're going with this, Logan, and I'm in total agreement. You know what really gets commies and their egalitarian eating utensils? Explosions. Big, devastating explosions that blow them and their salad forks and shrimp forks and paring knives all into little, itty, bitty bits. Just Boom! and no more commies, no more 12 piece dining set, just you and your spoon and all the happiness and contentment you can have with it. Big, big explosions...that's the answer!" BUH-GAWK! Tim tucks up his arms and does a strange little dance. "*ahem* Speaking of that subject, since that stall Boris pointed out is so near at hand, I think I'll pop over for a little look-see while we're waiting on Horton." GM: Spoiler: Tim heads over to the weapons stall and looks for explosives. After all, with a name and skills like mine, I'm going to have to blow up something or someone eventually...maybe myself in the process.
Spoiler:
GM:[spoiler]I will go ahead and purchase everything, concealing the chip in my hatband and the superglue in my boot. Tim runs up, checking his PDC "22 seconds to spare! Here's your cola, Team Leader. Woah. Big sword. Nice spoon, Logan."
"Yippee!" Tim runs off, checking the time on his PDC every few seconds. Shopping List: Pack of Cancer-Lites
GM: Spoiler: Keeping an eye out for the following: Glass cutter, hacking software, tools useful for rewiring/sabatoging/modifying bots. If I find anything I can buy/afford, I'll do so, being sure to keep an eye out for Horton, any other team members, or any security forces or cameras nearby.
"Team Leader Boris, permission to shop, sir?"
Tim stands at attention and follows the hygiene officers orders, smiling the whole time, more forcefully when the uncomfortable portions occur. He lets out a loud squawk whenever his bum is touched.
"I'm sure the Computer is right in all things. Cluck! However, there may come a time when heroic action, rather than recording, may mean the difference between success and victory in our important mission. As Boris said: Troubleshooter first, recorder second. The Computer certainly believes in Boris; you should too. You don't, of course, doubt the Computer's choice in Team Leader...do you?" Narrows his eyes as Horton readies his laser, then smiles. "But we should be celebrating, not fighting. We've saved a green citizen from a traitor and only lost one team member in the process. This should make us happy. It certainly makes me happy! Perhaps the Happiness Officer should give you something to take the edge off."
Loyalty Officer is that a fineable offense?" "Hmm...he did not directly disobey an order, Team Leader. Admittedly, he was about as useful as a warbot at a Teela-O concert, but the rest of the team had the situation well in hand. If you like, I'll keep an eye on him to ensure complete loyalty." Tim smiles. "Bob, I believe I could use a good spray-down with deodorant and whatever else your hygiene expertise suggests." PDC: Spoiler:
Record: "Loyalty Officer observation: Horton might be of more use, and thus serve more loyally, if his recording device were more easily carried and hands-free...perhaps bolted to his head." "Logan, good to have you on board! I'm sure you'll be an asset to the team!"Tim shakes Logan's hand. Logan: Spoiler: Tim gives your hand three vigorous pumps, ending with a hard squeeze.
Tim stands and helps the the Green citizen to his feet, dusting off his suit. "Are you all right, citizen? Thanks to the quick thinking of our team leader, you're alive and well."
Tim hightails it as far away from the grenade as physically possible, dragging the green citizen along with him. "Logan! I will recommend you for a postmortem commendation you brave, brave clone! Your loyalty will not go unrewarded!" |
