OOC background: Just a few quick out of character notes about the “author” of these posts. “The Great” is one of the characters playing in the ‘good’ game run by Cap’n Jose Monkamuck. He’s a half-elf and more or less like a paladin. He belongs to an order of “Knights” devoted to defeating evil and oppression where-ever it shows itself. He also works as part of the elite guard-force/ambassadors for a very wealthy merchant house. Now with all that in mind there are two other considerations to take into mind when reading his views on his adventures. 1) The Great seeks the path to immortality by becoming an author of children’s illuminated texts, Fairy-tales. All of these tales being actually based off his adventures, thereby making himself the “Knight in shining armor”. 2) The Great does not have a very firm grip on reality, not that he’s insane, just every facet of life surrounding him is exaggerated, or at least to his perceptions. So far I’ve had a wonderful time playing this comically-inclined character. Enjoy his stories.
“The Gala and the Thousand-legged Dragon”
As with all great tales this one begins with, Music. Our Hero was passing through the back-water land of some Peasant-Noble of little renown on business of his Lady, when an invitation came into his hands. For all the poverty of this small land and its people, they had spared no expense in sending our oft-beleaguered Hero this note.
“Come Ye, Oh Greatest of Knights, to our Humble Faire. So that you may preside over the festivities honoring our homely daughter, dare we call her “Princess”. We tremble with anticipation at your arrival so that you may serve as Proxy to the Gods themselves and bless our meager repast.”
Oh yes, those very words were etched deep and crudely upon a tablet of the finest wood and coarsely filled in with molten pewter then brushed ‘til it gleamed like Mithril. Our good and brave Hero could not help but feel pity for their lack of civilization and prosperity, but the begging tones of their obviously needy words drove him to accept, most humbly.
Indeed there would be a party. But what would our intrepid Hero wear? Considering the back-water and shabby nature of the Land armor would be fitting, battle regalia, no? So thus did the Hero present himself in armor of silver and brandishing his mighty sword. Likely the peasants have never seen such a sight before. A query would cross the mind of our Valiant Hero. Would they have Music? He would bring his Minstrels to add flavor, and likely a soul, to this gathering of commoners. Indeed it would be night to remember… for the masses.
It would take hours to describe in detail the presents and praises heaped upon our most humble Hero during the course of events at this gathering. Though there was therein a happenstance that will help define the character of this Noble Warrior we speak of now. Pardon my meager ramblings as I side-track to this minor event.
There was indeed music at this Gala, and well-dressed Lords and Ladies (Though of course they were all stunned by the countenance of our Hero, I should not have to restate), and thus did the people dance and revel. I bring your attention now to a lovely young maiden, alone and shy lurking upon the edges of the dance floor. It was our Hero’s own intention to grace the Maiden with a dance, but this was not to be. For a true Nobleman is also observant and benevolent. He saw another young person, then, shy and alone, with eyes for the outcast maiden. As a matter of course our tales Hero approached the young waif and explained how to attract the eyes of the maiden he desired.
“Watch and I shall show you, my boy” He spoke and clapped the boy upon the shoulder.
It should be assumed, of course, that all great heroes, by inner virtue, grace of the gods or exceptional skill, are graced with abilities far beyond those of the common man, whom looks up to these epic personas. So it should come as no surprise when one decides to use such a gift in a seemingly paltry manner. But indeed it was a great sight to behold as the Dashing and Benevolent Hero stepped to the center of the room and levitated himself over the heads of the revelers for the span of an entire dance.
The young boy watched with a slack jaw, as did everyone else, and when our Hero deigned to lower his feet to the ground once more he had his choice of any of the fine ladies present. He selected for himself a virtuous and lively woman, asking only that the shy Maiden speak to his squire. Of course he meant the shy boy, and not his honest Squire.
I digress again to by pass the more droll and unentertaining happenings of the night. The commonness of the Gala and the routine continuings of the event are not much more remarkable than any other. Allow me to take our tale forward in time to the afternoon of the day following the Gala, for that is where our Hero was approached again for his presence.
First to approach was an elven wizard of black skin and delusions of Grandeur, he thought very mightily of his hedge-magic, but of course that he would need a real man armed with wits, strength and steel to protect his feeble body. And who better than a powerful, Daring and Humble Knight? So thus did the wizard beseech our Hero, complaining that some beast of his summoning escaped his control. Assuming the beast to be nothing more than an Imp the Hero took pity on the man, but had to refuse as his Lady required another task of him.
Failing himself the deceitful and fearful wizard sent his compatriot to appeal to the Knight. Perhaps thinking that a woman could persuade the Hero into such an insignificant quest the Wizard would send a most lovely creature to Him. Indeed this lady was a most beautiful creature with an innate Grace and Charm that can only come as a blessing of the gods. Her voice was like honey upon the ear and the mere sight of her could cure a man of any ills. The Nymph beseeched our Hero and pleaded with him to take mercy upon their party, and to forgive the Wizard of his duplicitous actions. She explained that the deaths of their former companions was in no way their fault. Again he had to regrettably decline.
Verily on the heels of the Nymph came the last of a trio of propositioners, a fellow Knight. Though this knight was a Paladin-Princess, the very Princess in whose honor was thrown the Gala of the night before. Of course she remembered our Hero (who couldn’t?) and recalled being impressed by his presence, candor and humility. She came to him without knowledge of the Wizard’s and Nymph’s request and asked him as a fellow of Arms if he might accompany her to Battle.
It is a little known fact that between Knights, no askance of aide in honorable battle may be refused. And this Paladin-Princess brought with her servants, as did our Hero, as befits a truly great Noble. However the Paladin-Princess’ manservant had a dark and shifty quality about him.
“He will bear watching” Our Hero would consider to himself.
Not even our intrepid Hero can make the mundane tasks of buying supplies and setting off on adventure very entertaining, though he does try. So once more I must skip past a day’s time to the next exciting event in our Hero’s never-dull life.
It was not more than a single day outside of the Paladin-Princess’ town that the motley band of adventures happened across a beast of gigantic proportions. Fifty sheep long and two men tall the scaled monster was incredibly fast, and hungry. Panic ran rampant among the lesser of our Hero’s band, unbecoming curses and shouts of “DRAGON!!” filled the air with dissonance. Even the Minstrels could not compete with such a terrifying racket, caused mostly by the Wizard. The beast charged the singled-out and helpless Nymph, its speed would cause jealousy among lightning.
“FEAR NOT!” Our Hero shouted with resolve at the tops of his lungs, to be heard over the racket of cries and battle.
He shouted even as he charged the charging monster. Never was Fear a trait of His moral character. The beast bit at the Nymph and quickly injected her with an insidious poison. She was down! Just as the beast turned its attention to a new meal, our Hero, its great mandible shattered in a spray of gore and acid upon the Knight’s shield. So mighty was His cause and charge that he knocked the beast backwards 20 feet! Regardless of it’s innumerable legs and unbelievable size. With that shattering contact of shield to face, it took only one swipe of the Hero’s mighty sword to cause the beast to turn and run with all its speed, away from battle.
Filled with confidence that the creature would not return the Hero turned his back and rushed to aide the fallen Nymph. He would not besmirch His Honor by falling to the crude art-form of hurling insults at a defeated enemy, as did all his companions.
It was not with magic or banal bandages that our Hero saw to the wounds of the Nymph, but with a kiss did he restore to her the flame of life. Indeed she yearned for another and even tried to press him into a second, but his Heart is held only by Duty. Seeing that all was in order he’d turn to his returning troops and remark upon their cowardly acts in a most disapproving manor, sparing no feelings. They would need to learn from this battle. It was small wonder to our Hero why pervious companions had fallen. His last remark to the gathered throng is truly the only one suitable for print herein.
“A Dragon? Come now, honestly, that creature was no more than a hungry and playful, if gigantic and confused Caterpillar. You must learn to control your fear, or forever it will control you.”
-Bryn Farshot, The Great
“My name, you ask? Why my name is, The Great.”
“The Great, what you ask? Lord will suffice.”
“No no no, silly peasant. Not ‘The Great Lord’, that is much too ostentatious. It is a title, thereby you may call me, ‘Lord The Great’”