A moment from our Pathfinder game (set in Greyhawk) that ended with a goblin song and the critical reviews of the two rangers in the party:
Rain says to the goblin in a neutral but friendly voice (in Amedi), "Hey, what is your name by the way?"
The goblin glowers at Rain and spits out, “I’m Kovacic. Who in the hells are you?”
Rain smiles evilly back at Kovacic. "I am Rain, Uncle Kovacic, and the blood sister of your Lord Nicolo here. Through service to our Suloise ancestry what title has he earned from the Scarlet Sign?"
Kovacic laughs, though it is more of a gratingly high-pitched giggle with more than a touch of manic hysteria, typical for a goblin as Rain remembers from the days of occupation. He finally replies in Common, “I’m no Uncle. Only the pure blood brothers are given that title. We are just privileged servants with special skills. Delightful skills! As for him… Niccolo!” Kovacic scoffs. “I have never heard him called by that name. He is known as Eberwulf. So, when will the tortures begin? Will you use bamboo under our fingernails or just heat up some knives to start?” Kovavic asks this with an odd mixture of apprehension and anticipation.
Rain says, "This is your torture, speaking with me. So what is Eberwulf's title and what was he sent here to do?"
“No special title for that one other than Brother Eberwulf. He was in command of our group. The Hold of the Sea Princes is under the protection of the Scarlet Brotherhood so it is our right to patrol the rivers.”
"Agreed, you have to patrol what you protect. So will the Scarlet Brotherhood be able to keep it this time from the Lion Throne? How many troops protect Westkeep this time? And who is in charge?"
Kovacic howls in laughter, “You had better go down there yourself and find out. I’m just a simple goblin. I don’t count that high nor do I hobnob with my betters, or bandy about their names.” He gives Rain a snaggletoothed goblin grin, “I guess you’ll be resorting to torture now huh?”
Rain smiles sweetly "Nope, I'm gonna just let you sit there. Might even feed you... unless you give me the name of who leads your protection force. Then we could start with some real torture."
Newt tried to stay back and keep quiet, but can’t. “Why is torture so important to you?” Newt asks with a mix of surprise and indignation at all this torture stuff. “Do you trust the information you get? What do you do if they don’t talk, or even if they do - what then?”
Kovacic is about to reply to Rain when Newt interrupts. His eyes widen in surprise, “Well, no torture may not be the most efficient way to get information,” he grins even wider which would have almost seemed impossible but his bulbous head somehow accommodates it, “but it’s more fun!”
Newt continues scanning Kovacic, hoping that he may picture the leaders or even say their names within his head, and she wouldn’t want to miss such gems. However, the only thing Newt is getting from him are really vile imaginings of what he thinks Rain is going to do with him, as well as things so lewd directed at Newt's person that it makes her want to jump out of his mind immediately. The way Kovacic is looking at Newt it seems as though he knows Newt is prying in there.
"Oh," says Newt with a sneer. "You're disgusting!" Newt doubts that he really knows she's scanning him, but leaves her statement open for him to decide if she means his thoughts or torture in general.
Kovacic turns back to Rain, “You’re not fooling me. I’m not stupid. I don’t enjoy being tortured if that’s what you’re thinking, but I know it’s inevitable. I just want to get it over with.” He pauses, “And I confess to a certain curiosity about what techniques you’ll use and how well you’ll improvise without any proper equipment,” he says this last looking around the hold as if he expected to see a rack or burning brazier.
Newt is further repulsed by this. "Improvise? Proper equipment? Fun?! That's just sick! There must be better ways to get information. And why does the Brotherhood use little gnomes like you, anyway? Can't they handle their own work?"
Kovacic looks at Niccolo intently before responding, making sure he is really unconscious first. “No human, not even the Scarlet Brothers, nor their Cousins and Uncles, can creep more softly than a goblin. Even a fearful human child will not hear us coming when we slip down the chimneys of their cottages, or under the beds of the well-to-do. They don’t hear or see us until we snatch them away!” Kovacic begins cackling with glee.
“So what do you get out of helping the Brotherhood of Uncles and Cousins?” asks Newt. “Is it just that they don’t kill your people on sight, or do you get something more out of it?”
“They pay well and give us many fun things to do.” He shudders just a bit however, as once more he looks at the unconscious Niccolo.
Rain stands up, "Okay, I have had enough."
“But Rain, we're just talking" protests Newt. "Kavkovic (she deliberately mispronounces his name) here is just telling us how things work."
Newt slumps a bit in defeat as Rain leaves to find a member of the Guard, knowing she's out of time with the disgusting little imp-goblin-thingy - at least for now.
Kash comes down into the hold with Rain and looks around, “There’s not really anyplace in this hold where he’ll be out of sight. Should I take him over to the River R… I mean, the Endeavor? Or perhaps the Marsh Light?”
Rain smiles, "Endeavor huh, that must be Sir Indranil's doing. Yes, please take it over there. Inform Sir Indranil that I want my brother alone when he wakes up. I believe it best to separate them. Thanks Kash."
"Endeavor. Humph!" sneers Newt, but quietly. "I liked 'River Rat.' "
As Kash takes Kovacic over to the Endeavor, the goblin catches site of the cavalier Baris in his armor and he begins raucously singing, “99 shiny cavaliers on the wall/99 shiny cavaliers/take one down pass his entrails around/98 shiny cavaliers on the wall/98 shiny cavaliers on the wall/98 shiny cavaliers…”
Fingol takes his morningstar and smashes Kovacic in the knee. Kovacic stops his song to scream in agony.
Indranil slaps Kovacic and says, “Watch your mouth goblin trash. You’re lucky to be alive. The next words out of your mouth will be followed with my foot up your ass.”
