| Smoogle |
1. Why are you a Pathfinder?
Power. Knowledge. Boredom. Always one (or more) of the three.
2. Do you have a name and surname that is not ripped straight out of existing Earth mythology or popular culture?
My given name, as my surname, is...well...how should I put it...None Of Anyone's Damn Business. You can call me Smoogle the Horselicker. Or, better yet, you can leave me the hell alone.
3. Which nation did you grow up in? How did this nation influence you?
I grew up the son of a street performer. He then left, undoubtedly because he got sick of my inconsiderate whining like, 'I'm hungry!' 'I want to learn how to read!' 'Where's mommy?' 'Why is this dog raping me?' As to the nation and street, it was in I Don't Give a Rat's Ass Enough to Share, on Apathy Lane.
4. What do you look like? What are your wearing? How does this vary when you’re stalking through forests, sewers, deserts or in glittering cities?
I am a fat, bearded, bald human, with glasses, blue eyes, a sour expression, and am dressed in a long, dirty robe, full of unidentifiable crust and various stains. I have a wedding ring, and am followed by a floating disk with various junk in it, including my bag of chickens. Sometimes I am riding Bob the camel. I do have a clean robe, which I reluctantly will wear when in 'polite' company, but otherwise my clothing is unchanged (due to 'endure elements').
5. What do you love? (Treasure and experience doesn’t count)
Happiness is a (very) warm sudden burst of fire, accompanied by screams of 'why does this hurt more than it should?', and 'Oh God, isn't it bad enough I was born a goblin, now I'm being burnt to death?'
6. What do you hate? (Unclear and irritating darkness level rules don’t count)
Goblins. All of them, everywhere. In my retirement, I plan to exterminate them. I've heard of being a 'Seeker' - I plan to 'Seek' the 'destruction' of that 'filth'.
7. Which other Pathfinders (PCs) do you rely on for teamwork, survival and butt-kicking? Do you have a bro? a mentor? a father figure? maybe a rival?
I (reluctantly) acknowledge necessity means relying on all other Pathfinders for teamwork, survival, cribbage, dominoes, and big giant meat shields. The venture captains, collectively, are my father figures, as I greatly admire...hah hah, I can't do it. Nah, they're the worst. I don't have a rival, as this implies someone who is as good as me, and, well, that ain't happenin'
8. How does your race influence your views? Are you a stereotype of a certain race? How are you different from most humans/elves/gnomes/orcs/tengu?
I'm a human, so of course I am better than all other pretenders. But, I'm a wizard, so I'm better than the poor, pitiful, magic-less rabble. I'm an evoker, so I actually use magic instead of simpering about 'prestidigitation' and 'animate dead'. And obviously, I'm Smoogle, so to hell with everyone else.
9. What are you afraid of? Do you have any phobias or worries?
I am afraid I am running out of patience with answering these questions. I am afraid the next time a venture captain calls me into a room and runs his/her mouth about some inane journey that my magic could take care of in 5 minutes, while I have to endure the company of mouth-breathing 'friendly' associates, I will finally snap and simply teleport into the center of the sun. I am afraid the next time I have to face some outsider/extra-planar being/powerful undead, I'll just say to hell with it and switch sides.
10. What is your most treasured possession?
My cheerful disposition. Really, my wedding ring. Yes, I'm married. Yes, it's my arcane bond. Yes, I shift in and out of the Material Plane with it. No, I'm not going to talk about my marriage, or any other damn thing. One last thing - remember to tell your friends, neighbors, and people who you can barely contain your anger when interacting with, about the School of Smoogle, where you too can learn low-level magic and grow to hate the world!