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You saw something better in me, and personally recruited me to a cause larger than myself. We fought against the tyranny of the Decemvirate until they admitted the error of their ways. It was you that convinced me of the worthiness of joining with this Pathfinder Society, of expanding our trust to include these strangers from other lands with their various petty allegiances.
It was you that taught me the value of teamwork, to think beyond just myself, to leave no one behind. These things I came to embrace and value and believe in wholeheartedly. Many of those Pathfinders I once would have thought of as enemies have now come to be called friends.
We had gone so far together. There was still work to do, but to my eyes we surely seemed to be making a difference; to be making the Pathfinder Society a better place for all its members, despite the intractability of the Decemvirate.
And now this. You have abandoned the Pathfinders. This I could almost understand. Had you asked I would have stood by your side and left them as well, such was the faith I had in you.
But you also abandoned me. And ordered your mercenary thugs to murder me – it was obvious they targeted me especially in that bloody chamber of betrayal. This I understand least of all. This I doubt I will ever reconcile.
You are guilty of the ultimate betrayal.
For a moment I thought of just giving up, so shattered was I. My mind teemed with emotions I could not contain. And upon returning to Absolom I found that even the Shadow Lodge itself is to be dissolved. My base, my foundation, is gone, my friends within scattered to the winds. Some are so broken that they have left the Society altogether. This is something I considered as well.
But I have always been a fighter. I never would have made it out of the Puddles otherwise. I will not be broken by this.
The greatest lesson I learned from my time with the Shadow Lodge is the value of teamwork. Of having others at your side that you can trust when things get tough. I am not the only one who feels that way. There are others within the Society that seek to be more than just adventurers doing the bidding of the Decemvirate and the venture-captains. Who look beyond the petty infighting of selfish factions or individuals. I speak of that organisation known as the Silver Crusade. While I am no crusader, it is clear they uphold those very ideals which you used to espouse.
It was you who taught me to look beyond myself, and to try and make the world a better place. Even though you have shown the greatest hypocrisy in betraying those ideals, I will not. I will remain a Pathfinder, and continue to do what I can to fight for what is right.