Rofflestomper's page

About Rofflestomper

Rofflestomper is a Gnome that is vulgar and deranged. He sometimes straddles his adamantine greataxe and rides it like a hobbyhorse. He can also be seen pelvic thrusting into the air or humping furniture. He wears crisscrossed bandoliers of wands and liquorice. He has one glass eye and a long white beard filled with red matter.

He presents you with a cherry glazed pastry in wax paper. The paper has instructions written by those who have previously adventured with Rofflestomper. It reads, “This gnome needs supervision. He is very compliant with direct instructions. So if you want him to do something, then tell him. Give instructions about doors. He likes to open doors. Watch your pets. And for no reason ever let him…” (The paper is illegible due to smeared cherry glaze.)