"Let's see... Mwangi Expanse a couple times, Galt (both city and countryside), the deserts of Osirion and Rhadadom more than I careh fer. Had a few trips around Kortos ilse, a couple in the heartland of Taldor. Been deep in the woods of Andoran and Ustalav, a spattering of missions in Varisia, and a few on the open sea. One particularly dangerous mission took us into the Worldwound, tha we didn't cross too far inta its boarders. Done a ton of stuff here in Absalom; plenty a crazy stuff happens close ta home. Been extra planar a time or two, and even been extra-terrestrial. Ain't no place on this world or the next the Ten ain't willin to throw some chumps to, particularly on exit exams.
Fun things those are. Preform well enough and they make yah a Venture Captain. Prefore poor enough an ya wind up dead. Myself; evidently I'm good enough ta send on extra special suicide missions now, but they ain't lettin me take any students under mah wing as personal apprentices. That's the perks of being good but not too good I suppose."
*Ridgar hangs his head for a moment, staring into his beer.*
"That J'han kid; he's got spunk, just needs a bit o' direction. Bloody hell, if I had just done a bit more for the Ten, eh'd let me train him right..."
*The dwarf throws back his mug, drinking rather carelessly and sloppily*
"Ah well. Ta hell with it! I ain't dead yet, and while I wait fer bloody orders from the higherups, I may as well have a good time!"
"Nah, can't say aye have, though I've been all over. River Kingdoms is a bit newer than most places the Society sends ya."
"Poor bastard. Ain't his fault he's all jacked up like he is. Bloody outcast in society and #*($&, just sorta takes it out on te world. Still, it ain't wise tah badmouth black-ops level Pathfinders when yer a green. Give him a couple years, the boy might actually be able to take me. Course he hasta live that long."
*tilts the potion down J'hans throat*
"Ah fine J'han. Yeh want this brawl so much? Then come at meh. Colson will be pissed, but that ain't nothin new. First shot's yers.
I may not be a lady's man, but I ain't one ta force mahself on another. Heavens know I could, but it ain't how we Redhammers do it.
Usually it was Hernando makin the challenges, but I'll call yah out on this one. I'M RIDGAR REDHAMMER"
*to Salrana* "Bore me? I wouldn'ta asked if I didn't wanna know. That's halfa being a Pathfinder. Ain't everything can be solved by punchin it. Speakin' of which..."
*with a smirk* "Hah! J'han, yeh know ya couldn't take me in a brawl. Come back when yer not such a greenhorn and we'd have a grand tussle. Colson'd have mah hide if I killed new recruits in sparring accidents."
*turns back to the lady*
"But the whelp's not entirely outta place. I do love me them exotic types. *obvious eye-over* Just get shot down more oft then not. Damn sphinxes are a b@@$& to seduce. But yeh ain't got ta worry about disease; any ailment that could possibly catch me prolly killed the rest of Golarion by the time it does. Side's, it pays to have a priest for a brother."
*orders another round*
"That's actually how I got wrangled into this whole mess. The Redhammers have been devout to Cayden since the day o his ascention. Some o the elders think he had a spark of his divinity lent from our greatest family hero, but that's a story for another time.
Anyways, mah brother signed on ta be a clergyman, I picked up mercenary work. Mostly stuff as a bouncer or a wrestler in bars, stuff that kept me and Baldrick close. Mah brother wouldn't last a day without me. He signs up for the Pathfinders under the aspect of Cayden that premotes exploration and junk, then signs on to Andoran under the whole freedom concept. Little puke would die without me, so I go in tail.
Wasn't exactlly a great fit at the start, but I took to it, and in time it grew on me. Saw the atrocities that others commited, then commited myself ta fixin em. Had a bit of a spot on a ship while on Society business one time, took up the trade of a sailor afterwards. Then found out that the Knights are always lookin for seafarers. Bunch of crazy missions and suicidal runs later, here I am; Captain Ridgar Redhammer, Eagle Knight, Gray Corsair, retired Pathhfinder, and owner of a small island off the coast of the Andoran/Cheliax border."
"Haha, not just live long enough to retire, but live one continueous life! More than I can say for most ah my adventurin party! Jene could take down an elephant in one swing, but she found herself in Pharasma's waitin room more than once. Keep this in mind; if the Venture Captn' says you're gonna be retrievin some cursed items, best not to put on any necklaces!"
*downing his drink, he eyes up the tiefling Salrana, obviously interested*
"So yer a temptin little fox. How'd a lass like you get tah be workin for the Blue?"
"Truer words have neve been said, Corvus! This rounds on me! Yah don't get ta be a retired Pathfinder without makin anuph gold pieces ta treat yer friends now and then!"
"Yeah, that scorpion was the largest, but deffinately not the meanest. I think that demon with the soul-suckin sword or that red man with the axe we fought on that covert mission were probably the toughest."
Ridgar stops and thinks.
"Nah, I don't have a bloody clue where Jean is nowadays. Ya think after retirin she'd do merc work for a while. Then again, she was suprizingly bookish for a girl who's solution to everah problem was ta cut it in two! Maybe she's archievin for the Ten? Who knows?"
He finishes the rest of his drink in one fell swoop.
"Speakin of retired Pathfinders, its time I be gettin back to mah ship. Those Cheish slave galleys ain't gonna plunder themselves!"
Giving a hearty handshake to Ursus, "Nice ta meet yah. If I eva get hit a dry spell in Chelish marks, I may just have ta head up to Trollheim with yah. Maybe you an me can go wrangle us a Linnorm, make proper kings for ourselves!" He laughs.
Clasping Hernando in a tight man-hug, "Good tah see ya again, Hernando. One of these days we otta get the ol gang back together. I'm sure the Ten have some suicidal request that can only be handled by the Society's finest. It'll be just like old times!"
Ridgar stops at the door and pauses for a moment.
"Ya know, you Taldans ain't so bad. Ain't matter what they say about ya." and he departs.
"Hah! Never to those wintery climates, but me and Hernando did do one mission up in the Worldwound. Had to swim through quicksand draggin half the party on a tether while the other half got sucked up by a twister! Think that was the one where the giant scorpion snagged Hernando. Ya shoulda seen it! Big ol beastie has Hernando pinched up in one claw and you know what he says to it? he cries out 'I am Hernando Ruiz, Taldan Kight of the Shield!' and chucks his trident at it!"
Ridgar lets out a hearty laugh.
"Hernando may be a bit of a stick in the mud, but ya gotta give him credit. The man has balls of steel. Hell, I can't tell you the times he's pulled us out of a scrap!"
He drinks heavily, missing his mouth more than a bit. Cocking his thumb back at Hernando:
"Yah may have heard the rumours that he stood up to a barrage of arrows, most of them bouncing helplessly off his armor except for one would-be-death blow that he smacked harmlessly away. Well let me tell ye, them rumours are true! I was there, and saw it happen. Stupid archers shoulda aimed for the kellid b~*%*. And it ain't like that woulda helpped them much! Hernando just steps in front of the bloody things! There was this one time if my dumb*&(^$* brother wasn't such a dumb*&(^$* he wouldn't have taken a single blow. But get this, my moron of a brother walks AWAY from Hernando Ruiz, Taldan Knight of the Shield as the great demon undead genie thing fires on him!"
Ridgar shakes his head.
"Baldrick never was the smart one..."
"HAHA!! Decent?! I've wrestled things twenty fold larger than me! I've choked out a Minotaur prince who was stupid enough to enter his own maze with me. I've grappled with massive fire elementals and demons in flight, and I've won too! But that ain't the story yah wanted to hear!"
The dwarf plops down at a nearby seat.
"Yeah, if yer ever in Kaer Maga, be sure to look for this one brothel. The White Lady, or Afterlife, or Hereafter....some bloody aligory for death or whatever rubbish. Ya see, in Kaer Maga the law's as thin as a pixie's weenie, so the establishments cater to all types. This brothel is particular in that half or more of the broads are on the other side of the not bein dead line.
Standard brothel affair; the exotic ones run ya higher than the common. Prices ain't so different than the livin type. The real trick though is to tip them an extra ten gold, get them to take off those magic collars that keep em seddated. That's where the real fun is!"
He grins broadly.
"Best time I've ever spent in a wrestlin hold with the undead, if ya know what I mean.
One other tip too. If ya have somethin like this," he pats a jeweled amulet around his neck "it's best ya take it off. They get a might angry when you blow up the entertainers with yer *&^*&%!"
*Some time later, a horrible sight staggers through the door. It's a dwarf, hair mangled and unkempt, beard tangled and crusted with stale beer. His red dragonhide breastplate is besmerched with spashes of red of a darker hue, particularly around several protruding metal spikes. moments after he enters, a smell fouler than his appearance wafts in. It's a terribly odd mix of old beer, stale blood, and briney seawater.*
"RIDGAR REDHAMMER'S HERE TA LIVEN THINGS UP A BIT!" he booms in a drunken roar. "Hernando, I just got yer letter! Pleasent supprize I'd be in town resupplyin the Busty Barmaid when ya sent it! Saved me a hell of a lot of sailin! Yah say there's someone who wants to hear mah story bout the time I ^&%^$ed a dead chick?!"
Cheer up Jakt! You and me, we may be retired from active service in the Society, but that don't mean we're done retired!
Myeself, I plan on spendin some quality time on mah island, relaxin in the sun, sailin mah ship on the beautiful Inner Sea, and plunderin every Chelish slave galley that comes within a harpy's flight!
'Sides, someone's got to train the next generation. May as well be the best, eh?
Yeah yeah Hernando, we all know you're "Baronet Hernando Ruiz, Taldan Knight of the Shield." You say it every time you enter a room, every time you meet new people, and every time you feel your bloody honor at stake! Hell, I bet you even say it when you take a whiz!
You don't see me flaunting my status with the Eagle Knights or the Gray Coursairs evrywhere I go! I'm Ridger F#&^$%ing Redhammer, and my name speaks for itself!
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