Quilmop's page

As he watches the cultists (and the sawmill) burn, Quilmop reflects on his first use of fireball, and his decision not to kick out the small fires starting downstairs.

In a way, he feels like everything up to now has been leading to this moment: it was a fire in Sandpoint that got this started (wasn't it? or was it a campfire where we all met? he's sure it had to do with fire), and then a flaming sphere that he used to save his friends -- yes, he saved them, not the other way around, he's sure of that -- at the sunken temple.

And, now that he thinks about it, the heat coming off the waffle-iron was always what he liked best about it: it wasn't the taste of the waffles themselves -- of course, they're delicious, but: it was the *fire*.

Must be careful, though (he thinks). Don't want to become a psycho. A pyro. Just lots of fire, whenever it's reasonable. Not all fire all the time, and at unreasonable times. He cracks his knuckles, thinks about getting red boots, but decides against it on grounds of that's just too much.

Quilmop will Quilmop.

Ignoring the ladies of the night, after dozing for a few hours (spells restored) he rousts Lizzie and makes her go over the numbers of this new venture with him.

Assuming everything looks like it's in order, he arranges to continue floating the endeavor as a side-gig. He tells Lizzie to send to Sandpoint for several more of the orphan urchins to set up a small kitchen in the house. Customers get hungry, after all. And what's better than a waffle after a tumble?

He'll also leave instructions regarding what to do if the guards or any other authorities come by trying to shake her down... She's to tell the guards that the house is under the protection of the heroes of sandpoint, and direct them the party's way by describing Kadar in the most detailed way she can -- how he's gigantic, changes into crazy animals, and doesn't think clearly when agitated). Quilmop's thinking is that this should discourage all but the most dedicated shake-down artists.

Quilmop will *not* attempt to follow Kadar. Instead, he'll hang out by the sewer grate and try to get his bearings. If he can figure out where the Spit-in-yer-Drink is located, he'll head that way. If he manages it before Kadar darts off, he'll shout to Kadar:

Meet me at the Spit-in-Yer-Drink!

Assuming he gets to the Spit-in-yer-Drink, he'll strike up a conversation with the (hafling, was it?) owner about how business is going, whether they could use an investment partner, that sort of thing.

Charles, obviously, comes along with Quilmop, wearing his "footman" disguise.

Quilmop (if he can move) will attempt to get out of the sewer as quickly as possible. If he spots someone suspicious, he'll try and daze them.

Quilmop will *knock* on the trapdoor.

Spellcraft?: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (5) + 11 = 16

He'll also begin prestidigitating all the muck off of Kadar and himself.

What a mess...

WAIT until someone comes to the rescue.

If he's not within range of an AOO for the monster, Quilmop will move away from it and attempt to color spray the stirring monster once again....

Color spray, if it's somehow still standing after that ridiculousness!

Quilmop will try and back away from the thing-in-the-water, and he'll ready a color-spray to be tossed at the thing only if (kadar won't get hit and he sees some kind of eye...)

Wups, then if he has time for a SA, he'll ready a flaming sphere for the ladder area?

On his go Quilmop will just try to get back up on the walkway. If he has time for a standard action, he'll mage-armor Kadar.

On his go, Quilmop will shout at Charles:

HEY CHUCK! A little help? There's rope in Kadar's bag!

swim!: 1d20 - 3 ⇒ (10) - 3 = 7

gulp.

initiative: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (5) + 9 = 14

I'm jumping, but I'm asking Kadar to stand there and catch me as I go!

Hey big guy! CATCH!

Acrobatics: 1d20 ⇒ 2

grumble grumble

Quilmop will put things back to normal.

Quilmop is wearing the galoshes.

Hey wait, stay here for just a minute

Quilmop runs back to the lever room and starts pulling the levers at random a bunch of times, then runs back to the party.

Did anything happen??

Quilmop follows

Quilmop gestures to the levers...

Well, you'll be wanting a solution to what I'm sure is a myst-like puzzle in like six minutes, but fine! Let me just scratch this stuff down and then we can get going...

He writes down the locations of the levers...

Lead the way, Kadar!

I didn't know Quilmop was leader. He definitely shouldn't be!

Hey guys? I think I found something....

Quilmop will make a chart of the levers' positions like so:

UP UP UP DOWN DOWN DOWN ... etc.

He'll scratch it out on the back of Tsuto's diary, one of the pages *without* a nasty charcoal sketch of that naked demon lady.

Can either of you figure out what these are for?

Hold on there Kadar, there's a door! Never know what's behind a door. Could be a boat!

Quilmop first does some prestidigitation to try and clean off the door, and then tries the handle on it, assuming it looks OK.

Perception for dangerousness of door?: 1d20 ⇒ 18

Fortitude against the stink: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22

EDIT: Oh snap, a crit save!

Quilmop will wander out in front of the party a bit, using his darkvision to keep out of the worst of the muck, and walking slowly to avoid tripping.

Oh gods that's foul.

Quilmop will use prestidigitation to clean off his feet and legs from any sewer muck.

Hey, looks like the tunnel continues over here

He heads east, and then north, beckoning his fellows.

Quilmop will follow behind Kadar, no particular preparations. Hands-free.

Quilmop mage-armors Kadar and makes somewhat annoying small-talk on the way to the crime scene.

Quilmop will of course respond correctly and not go into his spiel. But he's saving that spiel for later...No worries on delays! I'm also traveling for the next month or so so will be sporadic

He opens the door.

Ugh, more murder? We just got done murderin... er, defending ourselves... as you can see

He gestures at the ridiculous mess behind him.

C'mon Kadar, Aeryc, time to go!

Turning to Lizzie

Hey Lizzie, here's a few coins... Hire someone to clean up the place, and then you stick around here and make it a bit more comfortable, yes? Like I said, we'll need a manager for our new HQ. Maybe some new drapes, a coat of paint, that sort of thing. I'm thinking turn-of-the-century lodging house meets modern adventuring HQ. Some young urchins will be by eventually to set up shop in the kitchen -- you can let them in. Otherwise, just hang tight! We'll be back eventually. Maybe see if you can air out some of the bedrooms. Keep an eye out for traps, though, of course...

Quilmop will grab the deed and the rest of the legal papers and run downstairs to deal with the watch. If possible, he'll slide along any banisters along the way.

Assuming they knock on the door, he'll open it with an exasperated air...

Oh thank the gods, finally. I sent my manservant out for the guard almost an hour ago. Where has he gotten to? Charles?

Quilmop looks around for Charles as if he's expecting him to be behind the guards...

Yes, I'm Quilmop; I'm a recent immigrant to this fine city. Purchased this house through my real estate agent, and would you *look* at the mess in here. Looks like some vagrants or others have been using it to I don't know what, do some kind of conceptual art? Looks like blood and guts everywhere, I think they might have been up to no good. Wasn't the guard watching out for this kind of activity in the vacants along here? Anyway, yes, I was wondering -- and you might be good people to ask, working for the city as you do -- where I can get these ...

Quilmop waggles the deed and other legal papers

filed -- it's the legal deed, which I was mailed before I came here, to my new house. I know I have to pay to register the deed; I'd be happy to pay *you* to file it for me, you look trustworthy. I can send my manservant -- Charles! Where has that creature gotten to! -- along with you to bring back the receipt.

And I was wondering what to do about the fact that it seems like the so-called 'guard' doesn't do much guarding around here! If I'm going to live here in my new completely legally purchased above-board home, which I definitely am, I need to know that the guard is going to protect me. Of course, I'm happy to pay any.... taxes.... that might be necessary?

Bluff: 1d20 + 17 ⇒ (10) + 17 = 27

Charles Assisting Bluff: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (10) - 1 = 9

Quilmop heads upstairs

Quilmop slaps Kadar on the back and chuckles too.

Nothing to see here, I think! Let's head upstairs?

Quilmop assists others.

Assist Scouring House: 1d20 ⇒ 17

Quilmop also does his detect magic thing over all the things. As he's wandering around waving his hands over things and running them around the walls:

Hey guys look!

He puts his hands out in front of him as if there's a wall and mimes about a bit. He does the bit pretending to climb a rope. He obviously thinks it's hilarious. All of a sudden, he gets a *very* serious look on his face.

Hey wait, what's this!

He moves slowly in the general direction of Kadar, cocking his head left and right as if listening to something with an unseen sense...

I think I detect something.... an aura of... I can't tell, intelligence maybe...

He makes a show of concentrating and waving his hands carefully around Kadar.

Nope! My mistake: No intelligent life here!

Quilmop will try to figure out what the mask is actually up to. Is that Spellcraft?

Spellcraft: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (4) + 11 = 15

Quilmop looks around the rooms and starts thinking about setting up an HQ here at the manor...

Hey Lizzie, maybe hang out down here, and give a shout if you see anyone coming? Also, can you head out for a minute and hire some (discrete) cleaners to get in here and clean up the mess -- especially the blood, before it seeps into the hardwoods? Obviously, I'll continue paying you for your time... Here's a couple silver for the cleaners.

And then, pretending to be thinking aloud half sotto-voce, but actually deliberately allowing Lizzie to hear:

And you know, we'll need an administrative assistant to run the front desk... someone reliable and not too squeamish... we'd have to pay them handsomely, and it'd be a quiet, easy desk job... I wonder who we could get...

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 17 ⇒ (9) + 17 = 26

Of course, you must be paid for your trouble! The city watch is woefully underfunded. I've spoken to the Mayor and the Chief Justice about this -- yes, they're personal friends. I view it as my duty, as a gob--... er, gnome of means to support the good men of the watch.

Quilmop will palm one gold coin and flick another gold coin in the air and prestidigitate it to make it float for *just* a second too long before landing in his palm. He'll then wink and hand over both coins.

There we are. That should cover us for this inspection... and any other 'inspections' that come up, yes? Remind me of your name, so that I can mention how helpful you were to the Mayor, next time we have a chat?

Assuming that's that, he'll gather up Lizzie and Charles, watch the guards leave, and then head over to the Manor to meet up with Aeryc and Kadar.

Assuming Quilmop hears Lizzie

Perception: 1d20 ⇒ 9

he'll come away from the house and move with Lizzie to intercept the guards.

Ah, a squad of guards! Hello squad! You know why it's called a squad? It's from the old common word 'squadra' for 'square'. Baffling stuff. Look here, I've got a question. You see this building over here? No not that old manor not there, over here...

Quilmop directs their attention away from Foxglove manor

I'm looking to renovate my house -- this one right here. My neighbors are actually renovating their house right now -- hear the noise? Contractors all day long. In and out at all hours. It's *incredibly* bothersome, but I do like what they've done with their entranceway. And the downstairs bathroom is lovely. I might use the same people. But I wanted to ask your professional opinions on safety issues.... I was wondering what you think about the height of these windows... They seem like they're inviting to thieves, no? And this door -- does it look strong enough? I mean, should I go with the metal upgrade? What about peepholes? I've heard they can actually weaken the door. What do you think?

Oh my goodness, the noise! I heard the contractors yelling and shouting in there earlier, I think they're dealing with rats or some such. Must've been disturbed while they redid the flooring. Hopefully nothing like that in my house!

Bluff: 1d20 + 17 ⇒ (10) + 17 = 27

Hey, what do you say we look around back at the terrace? I'm worried cat burglars might be able to climb the vines, and I think you'd know best.

If the guards aren't having it, Quilmop will do his best to get them all in view for an epic color spray, though that will probably have to wait until next round?

Quilmop isn't having any luck with the boards. He decides to enlarge person on whoever he can see through the window.......*whoever* he can see.

If there's a few people, he'll pick one of his comrades if he can identify them, otherwise he'll pick randomly. Here's a perception check in case he's trying to recognize someone... I assume he can tell what the faceless stalker looks like, and if that's the only person he can see, he won't enlarge them. Instead, he'll spin up a flaming sphere on them.

Recognize friends?: 1d20 ⇒ 8

Turning to Lizzie:
Sometimes, the best offense is a strange offense, that's what I say. Watch me!

After enlarging person or flaming sphering, Quilmop begins to look contemplative.

What's this all about anyway? It seems like this is always happening. We have so much money. Why can't we just hire people to do this for us? We could run a crew rather than *being run as a crew*. What even is the point of this?

With his move action Quilmop will take a *very* deep breath and sigh languorously.

For kim: lisa sigh: 1d20 ⇒ 12

On his go: Quilmop will attempt to pry off the boards on one of the windows.

When it's his go

Quilmop will make a move toward the building. He'll now prepare color spray for anyone who shows their face out the door and try to get as close as he can. If there's a window, he'll try to poke his color spray through that.

Top of his lungs:

Hullo in the house! What's all the racket? I need to speak with the homeowner -- or a responsible adult. If you don't come out to speak with us, I'm afraid we'll need to send in a man or two to make sure everyone is safe. And we don't wipe our boots, if you know what I mean.

Bluff: 1d20 + 17 ⇒ (14) + 17 = 31

We've been getting complaints from the neighbors -- this fine woman here

Quilmop gestures at Lizzie

thinks she may have heard a large bird or some other creature get caught up in the rafters...We really need to speak with someone. You don't want animal control in there...

Quilmop will continue to have flaming sphere ready (for hostiles).

Excuse me a second, Lizzy. My friends appear to be doing what they do best. Just hang tight.

Quilmop heads toward the front door. He'll take one full move toward it and ready a flaming sphere to be released on the first threatening looking person he sees. Wherever his move gets him to, he'll shout

"Hullo in the house! Is everyone OK in there? This is the City Watch!"

Bluff?: 1d20 + 17 ⇒ (14) + 17 = 31

Quilmop continues twiddling his thumbs, since no one has told him what's going on.

Hey Lizzy, have you heard of the chowdah-piss boys?

Quilmop will continue chatting with Lizzie about the right water-to-flour ratio in waffles.

Initiative: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17

They do this all the time. Usually it doesn't even matter, we just end up blasting the baddies or slinking away or in my case getting thrashed. But it really makes them happy to slink about and sneak and such, so I usually try and go along with it.

Quilmop eyes Lizzie up and down.

You look like a forward-thinking go-getter. Let me ask you something. How would you like to get in on the ground floor of what I can assure you is going to be the biggest thing in Magnimar fast-casual dining since those fried lizard sticks I saw in the street back where we met? It's a small investment, largely subsidized by yours truly and by just unbelievably cheap chil--... er, I mean, young adult -- labor.

To Kadar: Great idea. Why a lizard? Nevermind. Can you do colors? Do a blue one. Or yellow.

To Lizzie: Hey, can you stick around for a bit? We'll pay you for your time, obviously. But it's kind of windy-roads around here, and we'll be out in a bit and probably need some more 'guidance'. Plus, Kadar!

To Aeryc: How do you feel about the area? See anything weird? *Perceive* anything helpful about the house?

Quilmop will also use detect magic around as much as he can, looking for signs of any of the sihedron magic...

Quilmop tosses her the silver.

Sottovoce: There's more where that came from if you manage to bed, or at least inappropriately grapple with my friend Kadar there by the end of the day...

Stop glaring at the man, Aeryc! He's *obviously* here to help! To the manor!

Yes, a guide. We'd like to go to Foxglove manor. Straightest possible route please!

At the top of his (admittedly small) lungs:

Who wants to make a week's wages in a single day?

Assuming a crowd gathers...

All of you, well... (looking around) let's say a good number of you, well... (glancing at the back of the crowd) let's say some of you, look like fine upstanding citizens of Magnimar who know what they're about.

My friends here and I do not presently know where we're about. But we have a lot of *THESE*

Quilmop does some rolling of the silver coin over his knuckles

about. So, if you'd like to show us about, in exchange for about 1 of these, please come forward

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (4) + 15 = 19

Assuming people actually come forward, someone should use sense motive or something to assess who's actually going to be helpful...

Quilmop takes the Letter of Authority with a nod.

To his comrades: That was refreshingly easy, no? Better than dealing with gods damned baby rat swarms. To the manor?

Look here Rustshrub, or whatever your name is. Do you have *any* idea who we are? We're the heroes of Sandpoint. Our names ring out so loud I can only assume you haven't heard of us because your ears are just props someone stapled to your head. That would explain their ridiculous shape, if not the hair I can see poking out of them.

Aeryc here

Quilmop gestures at Aeryc

he might not be a lot to look at, but whoo-wee, you ought to see him shoot goblins and baddies. And the truly shocking thing -- and I mean shocking -- is that he's *only in it for the justice*. A man like you might understand that, being a justice and all, a man like me I don't get it at all. As I said, I'm a business man. The point is, Aeryc is interested in one thing and one thing only: justice.

My large friend here, he's called Kadar

Quilmop slaps Kadar on the thigh, or wherever he can reach

Kadar is, well... Kadar is as Kadar does, if you get my meaning. I'm sure you have guards in the city that Kadar would remind you of. Or rather, Kadar would remind you of those guards if they were 300+lbs of pure muscle and rage only constrained by his incessant need to (and again, I don't get this myself) help people in endless self-sacrifice.

The point of this is: I take offense when you say we don't care about the people. I mean, it's fair in one sense: I don't care about the people. I care about my business, but my business aligns in this case with your people. And the rest of my friends here really do care. So at least 2/3 caring. That's pretty good.

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (12) + 15 = 27

Excuse me, excuse me, Lord-Mayor?

Quilmop shuffles to the front of the party and tries to stand up as tall as he can. Assuming the Lord-Mayor gives him his attention....

You look like a man who enjoys the finer things in life. I can tell you only smoke the best cigars, drink the finest dark liquors, that sort of thing. A man of your taste, I mean, I'd be remiss if I didn't ask your opinion on something.

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (3) + 15 = 18

I wonder whether you've ever had the rarest of delicacies, the waffle . As you know, we're widely traveled -- that's why we're so poorly dressed, just come from the road, what. Anyway, these waffles have been making the rounds at all the gourmet shops in all the biggest towns we've visited. It's something else. I've actually invested in one of the most profitable, most highly regarded purveyors of these waffles, something called 'QWE' (I confess, I don't know what that's short for). Anywho, I mention this for two reasons. First, I wanted you to be the first to try these waffles; I really value your opinion. Second, assuming they meet your incredibly high gustatory standards, I was wondering whether you'd grant me a license to have one of my sellers start up his (or her! we're a non-discriminatory employer of urch.. er, regular adults...) food tru... er, cart, in Magnimar. Of course, I'd be happy to share the what will be almost certainly mind-blowingly large profits with you.

Bluff: 1d20 + 17 ⇒ (16) + 17 = 33

Anywho, let me know. Assuming this is all OK with you, it'd really help -- and by help of course I mean bring you more profits! -- if you could write me a letter that I could give to my employee saying that they're about the Lord-Mayor's business. That would help keep the city-guards and the other businesses in line (I'm sure you know they can be a bit over-zealous in enforcing zoning requirements...) I know you might be worried about the wording of such a letter being too broad, but I definitely won't make copies of it, and it'll just be used for protecting the QWE stalls against unfair business practices. I'm sure you can see the CENTS in that -- nudge nudge, wink wink, am I right?

Quilmop agrees.

Also, on arrival in Magnimar, Quilmop immediately suggests heading to the (friendly) cleric for some restoration. He's not feeling great.