Owlbear Haver's page

Hello! I didn't make it to the top 16, however: that means I have phenomenally more free time in my day. But before I begin, congrats to the top 16 again! You fine folks are impressive, and I look forward to the monsters!

I said I would go through the Item Critique thread. I aim to

There is a lot of feedback out there now. I'm going to try to focus on Theme, and the Core Premise of the item. My goal is to focus on the way your item is presented and how I felt reading your item. A lot of playing a game is about locking down on the fun! I will also try to identify where I personally feel you lost votes.

The format I will use is the following:

First Impression:
This is the FIRST thing I think about when I read your item. It may not make sense to you; but if it does, try to identify if that was the intended reaction.

Feelings:
A game's goal is fun. If an item doesn't scream FUN, I'll note it here. Along with anything else I happened to noticed that was off or, didn't feel right. Or things that just FELT right.

Would I publish had I the power:
I'm not a publisher, but I think I have a pretty good eye of what's publish worthy material. Most people asking for feedback are there. But, This is where I'd make notes on anything that prevented it for me.

I hope you find this helpful, If there is anything I can do to make my feedback clearer for you, PLEASE let me know. I'm still learning, and I yearn to be a better Game Designer in every possible respect. This includes feedback!

Within these walls, smiths and scholars test their physical and mental limits. Masters meld magic, alchemy and metal in an attempt to solve the enigmas of the Rain of Stars. Progress is manifest by way of sweltering heat, molten steel and ignorance burning away.

Didn't last year the front page look a little different for this contest?

Didn't last year go something like?

Open Call: Design a Magic Armor, weapon Ring, Rod or Staff
Round 2: Top 32: Create a Map
Round 3: Top 16 Create a monster and a Stat Block
Round 4: Top 8: Design an Encounter with a Map
Round 5: Top 4: Submit an Adventure Proposal

And wasn't that sort of, known at the get go.

This year it's:

Open Call
Round 2: Top 32
Round 3: Top 16
Round 4: Top 8
Round 5: Top 4

This implies that the next round may in fact not be a map round. Is this only my secret worry or everyone else's as well?

I would like to be corrected, if I'm mistaken. Because, One of the things it seems like this contest does is change up expectations in the last minute to test people's "Creative Agility" as I like to call it.

Shark Toothed Maw
Aura strong evocation; CL 11th
Slot shoulders; Price 9,600 gp; Weight 8 lbs.
Description
The Shark Toothed Maw is an scintillating cloak of interlocking silver and ivory wedges shot with multi-colored rows of diamonds. The cloak's tessellated pattern would look right at home on a stage harlequin. On closer inspection, the ivory wedges can be easily confused with shark teeth.

The Cloak's exotic beauty hides a deadly function — the wedges can be drawn from the cloak and used as +1 daggers. The enchanted cloak automatically regrows any wedge drawn in this way in one round. Daggers drawn from the Shark Tooth Maw crumble after one round after they leave the cloak or the possessor's hand.

In addition, the wearer can launch an area effect burst of showering blades by spinning the cloak. Spinning is a full round action, during which the wearer may a 5 foot step. Each creature in a 15 foot radius of the wearer must make a Reflex Save (DC10 + the wear's ranks in perform [Dance] or Acrobatics) or are automatically struck by 1d6 +1 daggers. Using this burst of blades depletes the cloak's power for one hour.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, abundant ammunition, blade barrier; Cost 4,800 gp

Perhaps this is presumptuous of me. But, I've seen a lot of lessons learned from this year's RPG Superstar contest. I myself have come up with a list of atleast 9 things as concisely written as I can make them.

The goal here is to create a central list of all the things learned. I’ll copy and paste my 9 things learned here as a post. And I will record more as I break down and digest what has happened. As we continue through the contest I hope to take more notes, and record them here. As a student of game design, I thirst for more knowledge on the subject, and this is the first time I felt among equals or peers.

I encourage and implore any and all who wish to share, to record your lessons here. I know this information is scattered throughout the forums and the internet, but I feel a consolidated place MIGHT help future members.

I also have a “Craft Wondrous Item” pricing sheet as an excel spreadsheet that does the entire math for you. Since we are not competing creating an item anymore, I’m willing to send this to people. I haven’t modified it in a while, and it WORKS for me, but I’d love to see what kind of modifications people would want.

Lessons:
Don't make an item that is a GM tool, OR a Player Tool. Make one for both sides of the table.

DO NOT MUCK UP FORMATTING. SERIOUSLY. Good ol' Template Fu is your friend. Listen to him.

Don't make an Item that's TOO powerful. Where this line is drawn is different for each person... but anything you'd expect a level 15+ character it wields is dangerous territory.

Camping Items are also dangerous territory.

Superstars break the mold. Don't Break the rules, Use them to focus your awesome in a new direction.

SUPERSTAR quality is the single hardest to define thing in the world. No one seems to entirely agree on it, because it's not definable. It's a feeling, in your bones, when you read an item and know.

This crowd is so diverse there is no playing to it. Seriously: Don't try to 'Cards against Humanity' this group. It won't work. They will see it coming, and this may also insult the voter.

Focus, relax, and be creative. Simple words, are sometimes clearer than the 10 dollar word you want to use.

The community is friendly, and everyone wants to see you succeed. This is the opposite of MOST internet watering holes. This group is NOT xenophobic. Ask for advice, help, thoughts. Everyone here is straight forward, blunt, and while that MAY seem hurtful, it is intended to help you forward.

When in doubt, use the Core Rule Book as your guide. Stick to it as much as possible. Straying from it, you run the risk of the voter or even a Designer not knowing exactly what you’re referencing.

Joke items are an often appreciated reprieve from the voting process, but are a major source of frustration, and ultimately a waste of a submission.

End of Lessons.
One last plead, if you feel you have anything to add, please feel free to add. I will add as I think of more things that are helpful.

IF something I post is not helpful, please let me know. I will delete them.

Helpful links are encouraged!