Nikchick's page

Hey all, we need to double check the technical details but if we get the thumbs up from our webmaster, Green Ronin is happy to follow Kobold's lead and do the same in the Green Ronin Online Store.

Congratulations!

I extend my heartfelt congratulations to the finalists. In my role at Green Ronin Publishing I have certainly seen my share of adventure proposals and can say that I think crafting adventures is one of the most difficult parts of designing in the roleplaying games arena. My comments are coming from the perspective of someone who routinely has to weigh in on balancing creative concerns with larger business strategy issues.

With Bellflower in the Dark, freeing slaves is certainly a noble motivation. It's a good start but early on in the proposal we start to see structural issues that give me pause. The fact that both Jakali and Kylara seem to have little connection to the PCs is concerning because it's far too easy to have key events happening "around" the PCs with very little involvement from them at all. I have similar concerns about the divisions between the two sets of slaves as the PCs and their charges are fleeing the forces Kylara brings to bear, specifically that the PCs have no real loyalties to one sub-group or another of freed slaves. If the only reason the PCs are involved is because slavery is bad and they're righting that wrong, if the freed slaves begin acting badly amongst themselves, there's nothing inherent to the adventure ties the PCs to their "mission". These concerns about how linear the plot seems as well as the assumption that the PCs are willing to carry on with the adventure without much intrinsic motivation is something that cools my interest in this proposal. While some of the initial ideas are perfectly fine, I would probably ask for a re-evaluation and resubmission that worked in more opportunities for the PCs to become attached and involved with the NPCs and factions, and that the PCs be given more choices on the way to the finale.

I would hesitate before giving my support to this proposal for RPG Superstar 2015, conditional on some significant revisions to better engage and motivate the PCs throughout.

I extend my heartfelt congratulations to the finalists. In my role at Green Ronin Publishing I have certainly seen my share of adventure proposals and can say that I think crafting adventures is one of the most difficult parts of designing in the roleplaying games arena. My comments are coming from the perspective of someone who routinely has to weigh in on balancing creative concerns with larger business strategy issues.

The title of Hollowheart Conquest grabbed my attention right away. The word conquest is bold and promises action in a very concise way. This kind of title is likely to stand out when a publisher is trying to pitch the product and makes both my creative side and my business side happy. The set-up that follows also worked for me, getting right to the point of getting the adventurers into the Darklands and providing various ways for the PCs to become involved and exert their influence. I very much like the structure of amassing Victory Points as the PCs work to gain allies and explore options. I favor this structure as a way of keeping players engaged in the face of unexpected decisions and it seems thoughtfully considered as part of the adventure structure here. My only concern is the timed element ("only two days!") might undermine the otherwise really good sandbox-style structure; I would want to relax that timed element or remove it completely if I moved this proposal ahead.

I also really liked the numerous locations touched on in the outline. Once again they struck me as well-considered, centering the focus on the Darklands as the real heart of the adventure setting and giving the PCs several different ways to interact with the setting. Likewise, elements like the Dimmix, the Shaitan Scepter, and the Illoyal were very evocative, not just new for the sake of being new. The confrontation with Izokar and his forces is inevitable but the encounters give the PCs several ways to make progress toward their goal and offer players plenty of opportunities to make choices along the way.

I would green light this proposal if it were submitted to me at my company and I give it my strong support for RPG Superstar 2015.

I extend my heartfelt congratulations to the finalists. In my role at Green Ronin Publishing I have certainly seen my share of adventure proposals and can say that I think crafting adventures is one of the most difficult parts of designing in the roleplaying games arena. My comments are coming from the perspective of someone who routinely has to weigh in on balancing creative concerns with larger business strategy issues.

I found the initial premise of the favorite brew becoming unavailable a fun twist on the "meet in a bar, get hired for a job" trope and kept wishing that the proposed title played up that idea more. Then not only the brew but the brewers themselves go missing and I was ready for some good old investigative adventuring. Unfortunately from the first encounter I was given pause by details that just didn't seem to fit: if the monks are regularly getting shipments of their secret ingredient via the platform and the cavern below the abbey, why is the mechanism left to rust and disrepair? If raising and lowering the platform causes noises that cause dire bats and a bat swarm to attack, wouldn't the monks have seen to that situation lest it interfere with their supply long before the situation they disappeared to investigate? As it read, the proposal seemed to offer up encounters that occurred too randomly and without enough connection to the offered plot: could the monks really have kept to a regular brewing schedule (assuming regular deliveries of their secret ingredient) when fire beetles are poised to attack at any time on their main transit route and the caverns rife with fungus and aggressive molds? The proposal seems to assume that the PCs will continue to explore the larger area long after the initial question of what happened to the brew and the brewers is addressed, at least at a surface level (the majority of the monks are dead and hanging from the ceiling amongst the fungus in Chapter 1).

Without significant revisions to better create a through-line for the adventure, and to better engage and motivate the PCs, I cannot recommend this adventure for RPG Superstar 2015.

I extend my heartfelt congratulations to the finalists. In my role at Green Ronin Publishing I have certainly seen my share of adventure proposals and can say that I think crafting adventures is one of the most difficult parts of designing in the roleplaying games arena. My comments are coming from the perspective of someone who routinely has to weigh in on balancing creative concerns with larger business strategy issues.

This adventure proposal made good use of backgrounds to tie the PCs into the store. Engaging through the festival while accounting for different outcomes and manners of getting to the meat of the story showed me that the adventure was thoughtfully considered. Accounting for player choices and offering more than one way to arrive at key points is always something I like to see in a proposal. I also, personally, find vengeance to be a really good motivator for villainous activities so the question of why all this is happening is satisfactorily answered for me. I liked the orphne as interesting new creatures to encounter in the Darklands that could provide additional interactions beyond this initial adventure.

Bringing the climax to the Court of Ether, in particular the details of Karexin Tower, worked really well for me. I like the strong attention to detail for the final confrontation with Zohir and the consideration of tactics not only for Zohir but the various minions described as well. This is a pretty straight-forward adventure, linear in the sense that there is a pretty direct path to the conclusion without being constraining or assuming one particular set of action for the PCs.

This is a strong, well-considered proposal. I would support it winning RPG Superstar 2015.