This is the greatest gig in the world. I get to live in a $15 Million enclosure, have my own team of veteranarians, and I'm adored by thousands of LSU students, alumni, and general fans. People love me! And all I have to do is show up at home games, roar a few times, and intimidate the enemy (not hard with my teeth, lemme tell ya).
And I just know that, one of these days, if I'm a good boy, they'll give me one of those cheerleaders to munch on. Mmmmm....cheerleader.