Markus "Hot Dog" Lyranus's page

Good hope; Long arm; shield
-1 charge Shield wand
-8 charges CLW wand
-1 level 1 spell used
-2 rounds of rage used
80/82 hp

F~&* Markus thought,
why the flying f*!~ is Shamira here as the insanely beautyfull nascent Demon Lord approached his hot dog stand. It wasnt really his hot dog stand, it just happened to occupy an elevated position from which a certain plaza could be overlooked while his buddies from the ORChestra were about to conduct some business negotiations concerning certain booze delivery networks with a Glabrezu who was of the erraneous opinion that they needed to ask him for permission.

16 Hot Dogs, now. The nascent demon lord demanded
On second thought I shouldnt have kicked the prior hot dog salesperson into the ocean of ishiar Markus considered as he quickly made that number of hot dogs.
Arent you supposed to be an Incubus not a half orc? A not just demanding, but worse, interested voice asked in his brain
I have convinced him to have a vacation in Dagons realm
By ramming your falchion into his belly and kicking him, several thousand feet down, into the Ocean of Ishiar, yesyes, very convincing, one of the ageold classics of self promotion. why hot dogs though?
Eh, its a useful spot to oversee developments He answered mentally thinking No way I can possibly bluff her
Indeed, no way you can possibly bluff me, I mean, you can try, but what you should be worried about is boring me. Now, can you keep me entertained while those lovely little meatsacks are getting ready?
If I use a scroll of haste on the hotdogs I can Markus thought as his emergency scroll pouch was unfortunately on fire. The Demon lord smiled.
Have you heard about that Carcosan theatre troupe over there? He pointed at a number of mimes trying to phantomimically perform the king in yellow. Trying, because they were suddenly incredibly on fire.
Carcosa does not exist
What does not exist?
And I didnt even mindwipe you yet hmm Tendrils of flame floated into his ears
wait, if she just wanted to kill me she wouldnt do anything precise
Lets see if I burn the soul into 2 here, and the mortal is smart enough to not move at all while on fire...
f!!$f%*@f!++f*%@
No, you wouldnt even last 6 seconds mortal, oh, these are some seriously wide empty mental space where you self preservation instinct should be!
I see it as an area with some potential, self preservation is overrated He thought with some confidence
Interesting, you truely believe this?
The burning pain stopped
It is a fundamentally futile and flawed concept. You never know if you end up a Footnote because some random Balor teleports into your community and casts Blasphemy, or you get randomly murdered and a Paladin who thinks Half orcs are evil, or you are just unlucky enough to live right next to Rovagug, or you meet Pathfinders, or you go to bed and your bed decides it was a mimic all along. One should always act, rather then react, in a universe full of things that can kill you by looking at you, this is the one way to be relevant at all. Anything that stops you from acting, such as self preservation, is inherently weak. He thought.
We shall see if you words are true Two voices spoke at once in his brain.
Do not ever manifest, but keep me updated. His philosophy maybe of use. Also mortal, your pants are on fire.

I knew you could do it! Congratulations! Soon you will even be able to use touch of idiocy! The incredibly upbeat Succubus mixed martial arts instructor announced.

Great, I can punch people and mess with them at the same time! Markus replied, genuinely happy

It will take a bit before you get the whole vampiric touch! But Abyssal Jiu-Jitsu clearly has the highest trainee satisfaction ever! The incredibly upbeat Succubus continued

Yeah, for the surviving ones that is! The bloodrager answered

Seriously, if they die to me they should be happy, there are worse fates! Dinner? She asked him, eyelashes fluttering

Nope, I would be the meal. But thanks for the training.

For a moment her facade dropped showing the merciless predator she was.
Good, you may actually survive. The Ardent dream intends to use you as an insult after all.

Would you have any idea whom I am to insult?

Probably something capable of answering prayers. Enjoy your remaining live! The Succubus was back into her perky fitness and grappling coach form.

Alternatie racial traits:
Burning assurance (replaces intimidating) +2 to diplomacy racial
Tenacious (replaces ferocity, reroll con check, fort save or will save once per day)

Normal traits:
Extremely fashionable (diplomacy as a class skill)
Coherent rage (use bluff while raging)
Irrepressible (Cha not wis vs charm or compulsion)

Drawback: Umbral unmasking
(Shadow appears to have horns and wings, especially notable when he Bloodrages)

Abyssal Bloodline

Feats:

Level 1 Bonus feat: Deft maneuvers (Blood conduit does get this at level 1 without prereqs)
Normal Level 1 Feat: Dodge+Mobility
Level 3 Feat: Combat reflexes
Level 5 Feat: Spring attack
Level 6 Bloodline feat: Power attack (praise high starting levels)
Level 7 Feat: Greater Trip (trips now provoke AoOs)

Base stats:

STR 15+2(half orc)+1(level 4 ability increase)+2(belt of STR) 20
Dex 14
Con 14
Int 12
Wis 8
CHA 13+1(ability increase) 14

Level 1 Bloodrager

Touch of gracelessness
Shield
Long arm
Shocking grasp
Enfeebling ray (bloodline spell)

Spells fractured mind:
Stabilize
Mending
Detect magic
Message

Level 1:
Burst of insight
Burst of adrenaline

+1 orc butching axe 2K
+2 STR belt (8K)
+1 adaptive orc hornbow (3,13K)

+1 cloak of res (1K)
+1 Mithral Breastplate (6,2K) (counts as light)
Stagger proof boots (2K)

Wand of cure light (no UMD 750) in quickdraw seath on right 41/50
Half charge wand of shield (no UMD 375) in quickdraw sheath on left 23/50

MWK backpack 50gp
Various adventuring gear (rope, sleeping cot whatever) 100 gp

23,2K

We are overrun, the Barbairans are about to encircle us!

Reserves?

About 8 mercenaries we ranomly hired?

WE ARE PROSPEROUS BLING BEARING WARRIORS!
WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THE CHANCE
RESISTING OUR ADVANCE
FEEL THE GROUND SHAKE
WITH EVERY STEP WE TAKE
AS YOU COWER
BEFORE OUR WELL PAID POWER

Multiple voices were belting the anthem of the infamous Orchestra private military company, and a large, towering man charged into a group of Barbarians, almost casually feinting champion despite the large warrior obvious fury, before hitting him with a massive strike, only to then strike the thumbling enemyagain as he fell.

When did we hire the Orchestra? Didnt they get wiped out?
Shut up dolt, the Barbarians dont know that

---

Later:
Unfortantely The no longer quite as large man spoke
The Barbs arent idiots, while they can be bluffed in one battle about reserves they didnt account for being available, they have by far too many magical and divine options to figure out the Orchestra is not here. The no longer as large man spoke, quite patiently and politely, in surprisingly good Common.

I concurr, that was a creative way of using accustic illusions. You also seem unusually lucid even in your Bloodraging state Mr.... "Hot Dog"? There is probably a funny story behind that
A heavyil scarred Elf answered, his old eyes nevertheless shining with some amusement.

I was selling Hot Dogs as a cover for a certain op I cant talk about. A customer I did not expect commented on other manners relating "hotness" and uhmm, set me on fire. It was a pretty excellent joke all things considered. The man speaks

Setting you on fire is a joke? You do have a weird sense of humor
The Elf cautions
Is that shadow of yours... Also from that OP? The Elf continues

Yeap, Souvenir. The pay was great, the accomodations top notch, but everything else was... Look, you are a highly intelligent person, you know where the most infamous exploits of the orchestra were, and yes, I was part of that. Given that you likely need a fair bit of crazy to fight in that operation, it may prepare me pretty well for that type of mission. The half orc speaks

So, you have been to a city full of seductive murderers, of endless night, and of massive debauchery? And you do not, according to my Paladins, ping as evil? It seems good preparation, hypothehtically speaking. How did you not get corrupted there if I may hypothetically ask? The Elf answers

Hypothetically, if you are around a bunch of seductive murderesses who could break your mind and control you, something you can do is spread various rumors about already being under the control of someone else. If you are a) lucky, and b) only there short term, and c) not that important overall while d) even more lucky in the one of the super seductresses opting to seduce rather then murder-enslave you...
The half orc speaks
Very lucky indeed, did she have a reason?
The Elf interjects

Demonstrate that getting seduced by her is survivable, and then eat a bunch of well, less lucky people who made decisions based on that. At least thats what I think. Our employer was... Seriously, I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Paid us fully, provided accurate intelligence, paid a bonus because we yoinked a target of opportunity, actually resolved problems with local law enforcement when some boys partied too hard. Shouldnt concern me unless I am there again, which I have litte plans of being

TLDR: Skill focus Bluff, Skill focus Diplomacy, +4 vs mind affecting
Once per day as an immidiate shunt failed will save on phantom. Returns after 24 hours, I lose skill foci and +4 vs mind affecting in the interrim.

Shared Consciousness (Su)

At 1st level, while a phantom is confined in a spiritualist’s consciousness (but not while it’s fully manifested or banished to the Ethereal Plane), it grants the spiritualist the Skill Focus feat in two skills determined by the phantom’s emotional focus, unless the spiritualist already has Skill Focus in those skills. It also grants a +4 bonus on saving throws against all mind-affecting effects; at 12th level, this bonus increases to +8.

Lastly, once per day, when the spiritualist fails a saving throw against a mind-affecting effect, as an immediate action she can shunt that effect into the phantom’s section of her consciousness instead. When she does so, she is not affected by the mind-affecting effect, but for the normal duration of that effect, the spiritualist loses the bonuses on saving throws against mind-affecting effects and the Skill Focus effects granted by her phantom, and can’t use this ability to shunt a mind-affecting effect into the phantom’s consciousness or manifest her phantom in any way. When a mind-affecting effect is shunted into the phantom’s consciousness, spells such as dispel magic and break enchantment can be cast on the spiritualist to end the effect’s duration as if the spiritualist were affected by the mind-affecting effect.

Weapon and Armor Proficiency

Bloodragers are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, light armor, medium armor, and shields (except tower shields). A bloodrager can cast bloodrager spells while wearing light armor or medium armor without incurring the normal arcane spell failure chance. This does not affect the arcane spell failure chance for arcane spells received from other classes. Like other arcane spellcasters, a bloodrager wearing heavy armor or wielding a shield incurs a chance of arcane spell failure if the spell in question has somatic components.

Bloodrage (Su)

The bloodrager’s source of internal power grants him the ability to bloodrage.

At 1st level, a bloodrager can bloodrage for a number of rounds per day equal to 4 + his Constitution modifier. At each level after 1st, he can bloodrage for 2 additional rounds per day. Temporary increases to Constitution (such as those gained from bloodraging or spells like bear’s endurance) don’t increase the total number of rounds that a bloodrager can bloodrage per day. The total number of rounds of bloodrage per day is renewed after resting for 8 hours, although these hours need not be consecutive.

A bloodrager can enter a bloodrage as a free action. While in a bloodrage, a bloodrager gains a +4 morale bonus to his Strength and Constitution, as well as a +2 morale bonus on Will saves. In addition, he takes a –2 penalty to Armor Class. The increase to Constitution grants the bloodrager 2 hit points per Hit Die, but these disappear when the bloodrage ends and are not lost first like temporary hit points. While bloodraging, a bloodrager cannot use any Charisma-, Dexterity-, or Intelligence-based skills (except Acrobatics, Fly, Intimidate, and Ride) or any ability that requires patience or concentration.

A bloodrager can end his bloodrage as a free action. When the bloodrage ends, he’s fatigued for a number of rounds equal to twice the number of rounds spent in the bloodrage. A bloodrager cannot enter a new bloodrage while fatigued or exhausted, but can otherwise enter bloodrage multiple times during a single encounter or combat. If a bloodrager falls unconscious, his bloodrage immediately ends, placing him in peril of death.

Bloodrage counts as the barbarian’s rage class feature for the purpose of feat prerequisites, feat abilities, magic item abilities, and spell effects.

Contact Specialist (Ex)

At 1st level, a blood conduit selects a bonus feat from the following: Improved Bull Rush, Improved Grapple, Improved Reposition, Improved Trip, and Improved Unarmed Strike. He does not need to meet the prerequisites to take this feat. He also adds those feats to his list of bloodline feats.

This ability replaces fast movement and alters bloodline feats.

Blood Sanctuary (Su)

At 3rd level, due to the power of his blood, a bloodrager can stand confidently amid the effects of spells cast by himself or his allies. He gains a +2 bonus on saving throws against spells that he or an ally casts.
Blood Casting (Su)

At 4th level, the bloodrager gains the ability to cast spells even while bloodraging. He can also cast these spells defensively and can make concentration checks for these spells while bloodraging. While bloodraging, he can cast and concentrate on only his bloodrager spells (see below); spells from other classes cannot be cast during this state.
Eschew Materials

At 4th level, the bloodrager gains Eschew Materials as a bonus feat.

Spell Conduit (Su)

At 5th level, as long as a blood conduit is wearing light or no armor, he can deliver bloodrager spells with a range of touch through bodily contact. When he succeeds at a combat maneuver check to bull rush, grapple, pin, reposition, or trip an opponent, or makes an unarmed strike against an enemy, he can as a swift action cast a touch spell on the creature that he affected with the combat maneuver, requiring no further touch attack roll. If this spell would usually require a successful touch attack, his successful combat maneuver check counts as this attack.

This ability replaces uncanny dodge and improved uncanny dodge.

Damage Reduction (Ex)

At 7th level, a bloodrager gains damage reduction. Subtract 1 from the damage the bloodrager takes each time he is dealt damage from a weapon or a natural attack. At 10th level, and every 3 levels thereafter, this damage reduction increases by 1 point. Damage Reduction can reduce damage to 0, but not below 0.

Bloodline: Abyssal

Claws (Su)

At 1st level, you grow claws while bloodraging. These claws are treated as natural weapons, allowing you to make two claw attacks as a full attack, using your full base attack bonus. These attacks deal 1d6 points of damage each (1d4 if you are Small) plus your Strength modifier. At 4th level, these claws are considered magic weapons for the purpose of overcoming damage resistance. At 8th level, the damage increases to 1d8 points (1d6 if you are Small). At 12th level, these claws become flaming weapons, which deal an additional 1d6 points of fire damage on a hit.
Demonic Bulk (Su)

At 4th level, when entering a bloodrage, you can choose to grow one size category larger than your base size (as enlarge person) even if you aren’t humanoid.