Malfaerr's page

"That sounds swell," Malfaerr says rubbing her hands,
"send some slugs for the toad as well"

"How many much more ale is due?
one every half hour I asked of you,
but it has been a while since I had a snack,
bring me and Hop-toy some food when you come back."

"Knowing everything is highly overrated," Malfaerr sighs,
"there's some advantage to being stupid or strongly sedated,
knowing everything tends to drive you into raving fits,
it is true what they say: ignorance is bliss."

Malfaerr drops an order form into her haversack.

"It is the one that gives shape to our earth,
it is from their minds that the universe was birthed."

Karrin looks as though she'd like to ask more but Malfaerr fills her mug with beer and holds it high.

"To Mystara, Blackmoor, and Dave Arneson,
we'll never forget, we owe you our fun."

"Yes, yes,
another death,"

Malfearr mutters, then suddenly the inn shakes and for a moment the agelessness seems to vanish as time seems to touch the World Serpent Inn, and for a moment the world feels old.

"For the first DM time has past,
he is gone, but he won't be the last."

Suddenly the wave passes and things return to normal.

"The gods have moved, and the new weight they bare,
the fate of the universe is theirs to share,
one of it's creators has sadly passed on,
but new hands now lift where his hands have gone."

A calming hand suddenly covers the agitated toad:

"Hop-Toy, are you again talking about frogs,
when you do anger cloud your mind like a fog,
you need to eat something and try to relax,
this stress isn't good for you, that's a fact."

"As to the power of the gods I cannot say,
I shall have to ask my mistress Wee Jas some day,
I suspect that they are are bound by cosmic rules,
and in many respects the gods are just tools,
I suspect that the natural order of the universe is set firm,
but as with any subject there is so much more to learn."

The toad seems to nod with his mistress comments, but evidently he feels the need to add something else to the discussion as he begins croaking again.

"He says your thoughts are very profound,
but there's little evidence to be found,
to support or refute any theory,
and this is deliberate, clearly."

The toad turns to address Lolenthiel, croaking and looking directly up at her, and Malfaerr nods as though she understands her companions noises.

"He says your point is very well said,
and that there is a transfer from living to dead,
we believe that the soul moves on,
and this theory is probably not wrong,
but after this transfer there might be a remaining taint,
as no mortal soul is going to be pure as a saint,
what is left is then cast to the planes,
and there that energy takes form again."

Malfaerr scratches her head, her tentacles wrap themselves around her wrist as a reflex, but Malfaerr easily pulls away from her rebellious hair.

"I've heard this theory before," her haversack mumbles, "the planes are shaped by material plane, but who's to say this isn't the other way around?"

"This could be so," Malfaerr says, "I don't know, but thank you, it is something to look into."

"It isn't a frog language," the strange haired woman says, apparently talking to her familiar, "Slaadi and frogs have nothing in common . . ."

The strange toad like creature croaks, a hollow sounding noise that seems to echo from within, as if the tiny creature were as hollow as a jug inside, and it's strange hypnotic glowing eyes seem to palpitate as the toad focus looks up at it's master.

"Well I suppose that's true," she seems to reply as the toad finishes croaking, "but those traits while unique amongst denizens of the planes are hardly empirical evidence of any sort of link, never mind your assertions that frogs are the very spawns of chaos."

O.L.L.I bleeps

Surely there were some details you can remember about Thanatos and his palace of Everlost? This unit would be most interested for any of observations of your journey there.

Somehow a quill and a piece of foolscap have materialized in O.L.L.I's spindly hands.

This would have occurred in the STAP, and I haven't read this particular chapter, but I'm assuming that Malfaerr has completed and survived the STAP

"All that I'll share," Malfaerr reaches into her haversack and pulls out a sack of news papers, "is printed there."

There are a couple of articles written from the point of view of a certain lady adventurer. Sadly none are particularly detailed.

"I'm afraid there's not much for me to tell,
we visited the demon lord for but a spell,
Orcus was a great horrible, festering, rotting husk,
and I had no interest in staying longer then I must,
we met only long enough to seal the deal,
and then we left his putrid plane with great zeal."

"I didn't care for the demon Orcus when we met," Malfaerr mutters,
Not dealing with him properly is something I regret,
His hate of the demon prince was something we could trust,
but outside of that alliance he didn't inspire my confidence much."

The sound abruptly stops.

"Noooo," comes a cry from Malfaerr's haversack, "I was almost in! Why'd you call me . . ."

Malfaerr kicks the bag.

"Oooff," grunts the bag, "ok, fine. Back to being a head."

"I think with the wealth of knowledge that's in my head,
perhaps we should discuss or debate something else instead." Malfaerr finally says.

Malfaerr turns to the Neogi and glares at him, for a brief moment the tavern seems to shake, a strange inhuman howl echos from the corridors, a sound that is like screeching metal, combined with the thunder of hundreds of crickets chirping, and musical chorus of an entire pod of whales . . .

"Hey bug guy," Malfaerr snarls, "go fly. I abhor fighting, which some might find enlightening, but just because I'm good at it, doesn't mean that I'll resort to it."

"What you are suggesting is that one could exist without the other,
that Chaos could devour law and things could continue without a rudder,
but O.l.l.i., I'm afraid that is just not the case,
like without law there'd only be formless space.
Chaos cannot exist without law,
despite what you've been told or saw,
but this isn't the point that I'm making,
it's issue with these self styled lords that I'm taking.
What is the point to this endless war?
nothing is decided, there is no score.
Recently the prince of demons was killed,
but already that vacancy was filled!"

Malfaerr takes a moment to take a sip of her beer.

"That's the universe in which we exist,
everyone trying to rule through might and fist."

"The extremes are exactly the same,
Fascist, communist, they're just names,
you live, fight, and die, under a banner,
if that banner is law or chaos you think it madders?
Chaos is supposedly defined by a lack of law,
yet demons and devils have little difference that I saw!
Perhaps I'm incorrect,
it's no skin off of my neck,
but opponents in the blood war are more similar then not,
the war is more about what you've been taught."

"Law or Chaos are exactly the same," Malfearr mutters to herself, "the thing that differs is their names, both are controlling terrible beasts,
I have no desire to follow either in the least."

"Yes I know else don't sleep, that's what I thunk,
but it would have been impolite to suggest that you were . . ."

"Did I miss anything?" she says, at last. She looks up at Raizen with unblinking, empty, black eyes, and says, "Oh. Hello."

"Not much Lolenthiel my sleeping friend,

Malfaerr says with that hauntingly vacant smile on her lips,

"Also I acquired a goblin for research in my book,
not much to look at, but smarter, I suspect, then she looks."

"Alright Sharinda I've got a goblin to feed,
bring me a helping of what a Goblin would need."

Malfaerr returns to the table with the nasty little goblin in tow sorry Kayos ;)

<alright, this is our table, I'll give ya food and drink, but you leave the little blue guy alone. My name is Malfaerr. I've never met a goblin before. Are you big for a Goblin?>

<Your magics cannot beat Brinkt's magic!> It objects at the snakehaired woman in it's language <Brinkt is mightiest in tribe, even mightier than hero chieftain husband and stupid champion hobbo!>

<My my, mightiest in the entire tribe? That is impressive,> Malfaerr's tone is without a doubt condescending, however tone and intent doesn't always translate well into other languages, and it is possible that Brinkt might not figure out the flattery is false, <come here and tell me of your accomplishments and I'll give you food and drink.>

"What a coincidence, what a score,
I've never met a real live goblin before,
I'm studying them from a book,
and I've been intending to track one down for a closer look."

Malfearr rises to look at the new arrival.

<Hey you,> Malfearr snarls in goblin, <come here, I want to ask you some questions. I got some food for you if you behave yourself and some powerful magic if you don't.>

"The Kaorti are fools,
traveling without learning the rules,
the realms twisted them as they deserved,
they thought to rule, but now they serve."

Malfaerr giggles as she takes a sip of her beer.

"Sorry little one,
not to spoil your fun,
but my mind seems to drift,
when it has nothing to sift,
and idle conversations are hardly stimulating to my brain."

Malfaerr seems to twitch slightly, as though someone jabbed her with a needle, and she coldly scans the table.

"and no . . . I'm not insane."

Malaerr giggles.

"Ah, such tact,
Yes Karrin, something like that."

"Thank you friend Gnome," Malfaerr says, "and again I apologize for my earlier tone."

"Did I hear you say you wanted another drink miss?"

"Yes another pitcher for this table," Malfaerr says trying not to anger the gnome further, "I paid already, so please bring the drinks when you're able."

Malfaerr nods rapidly,

"It is the same melancholy problem with me,
No one understands the pain I feel just to be,
Only once did I meet another of our kind,
But he left long ago leaving me behind."

Malfaerr rapidly drains her mug and then reaches for the pitcher, but discovers it empty. Malfaerr's smile briefly turns into a frown.

"Where is the server with my beer?
I need a drink and I find nothing near."

"I'm not?" Malfaerr says looking up in surprise, "when'd I stop?"

"But carriers are just as dangerous as those that show the symptoms. Perhaps more so because they can spread the disease . . . I'd think that no one in their right mind would listen to me, but perhaps someone like Olli could warp anyone he came in contact with . . ."

When Olli mentions the Necronomicon Malfaerr takes an audible gasp, more a moment it looks as though she might fall over . . . but as Olli begins explaining she seems to relax somewhat. Suddenly, as Olli finishes, the bag begins laughing.

"Mahahahaha!"

Malfaerr starts kicking the bag immediately.

"BwahahahaHa!"

Malfaerr stands and starts violently kicking the bag.

"Did you Hear that? WhaHAhaHAha!"

Malfaerr draws her scimitar, opens the bag, and viciously starts stabbing at the contents. The bag is indeed magical as Malfaerr stabs the scimitar up to her elbow into the bag.

"I mean . . . AaHhhttGg! Oh, my monkey head"

When she's certain the head is finished talking Malfaerr stands, dusts herself off, and sits back at the table.

"Yes Olli," Malfaerr says, her eyes shifting quickly, "that's probably correct . . ."

Malfaerr's smile shifts slightly, a subtle shift for most, but anyone familiar with Malfaerr, or anyone with a pseudonatural taint, will detect the change immediately. Her Manic vacant smile is replaced by one with a hint of genuine warmth.

"We've never met," Malfaerr says in abyssal, "not in this lifetime, at least not yet, but in you I see certain signs. My name is Malfaerr, and I don't mean to stare, but I think I see something in your hair. I also have that affliction, sadly mine attracts more attention, mine simply refuse to hide away, and because of that I've accepted that they're here to stay. I've only ever met one other with knowledge of the outer planes, no one else is willing to risk the danger of going insane."

"Child you need to calm yourself and relax,
Oerth is well connected, that's a fact,
there are plenty of ways to get you home,
even routes a layman could use are not unknown,
I have no desire to see you cry,
but I can't help, and I've told you why."

Malfaerr looks to the new guest.

"Greetings stranger, I'll welcome you here,
pull up a seat, get a mug and have some beer."

"Careful Malfaerr," says a bag near the woman's feet, "can't you feel it?"

Malfaerr's eyes look over the woman with much more scrutiny.

"Cthulhu fhtagn," she eventually says, her tone makes it sound like a question.

"Yes, but I can't return now, even tho the world is mine,
for I'm actually visiting from a different time."

Malfaerr turns to address Ashura, but she pauses, perhaps to think threw her answer but a mysterious voice answers . . . seeming to emanate from the bag.

"They mean 'Oerth' not Earth, but which Earth do you speak of? There are many You know . . ."

"Oerth and the Flanaess is the place I call home,
it is indeed the only world I have ever known,
I've been to Greyhawk, but that's as far north as I've been,
Tenh or further north I've never even seen,
But I know the south and many of it's places,
I speak the tongue of many of it's races,
and when I'm done exploring the inner planes, (Sometimes called the great wheel),
I'll return to my home and write . . . at lest that's what I feel."

"do we drink a lot of beer?
more then enough I fear,"

Malfaerr pours a mug for the stranger before refilling her own mug.

"although mainly ale in the warm and humid south,
we occasionally get a lager that melts in the mouth,
but such treats have to come from far to the north,
I've heard that the Duchy of Tenh was their source . . ."

"Pull up a chair,
ooo, I like your hair."

"that's Probably an idea that is quite wise,
but ignoring him can be hard and take many tries,
for every word is meant to draw you in,
till learning from him is no longer a whim,
once you're hooked he's like an insidious drug,
and he'll eat away at your sanity like a parasitic bug.
Walk away while you're still able,
ignore the head and let's have more drinks at this table!"

odd, my first reply seems to have been eaten :(

O.L.L.I blinks

"This unit believes that he understands the gist of what you are trying to explain, unknown entity attuned to severed Bar-Igura head. This unit has accessed Tillinghast's Radical Harmonic Experimentations, Grendesh's seminal The Ethereal Plane, Conduit to Supra-Dimensional Spaces, and Hovragon's Uncommon Sensoriums. Are you implying that the severed head you are attuned to is more convenient than, say a lump of rock for communication with this realm?"

"Sure, that's pretty close to being right," the bag says, "but why do you suppose that is? Like most of my kind I can transform my thoughts into pure energy to reach . . ."

Malfaerr suddenly kicks the bag.

"Alright that's enough,
talk about other stuff."

"Alright why have I bothered looking into this universe to talk to physical beings? Well funny story . . ."

Malfaerr kicks the bag again.

"Your idea of a funny story,
others would call scary or gory,
if you want to keep talking,
take on a tone that's less mocking"

"Unknown entity attuned to severed Bar Igura head. Query: Why do you attune to such a strange focus if you can attune to anything? Why have you translated your conciousness into this realm, which must be alien to your normal sensorium? Can you tell me of the incident that led to Mongrazzor's failure? blah ..blah ..blahbedy blah.."

O.L.L.I seems to be working up a good head of steam, his aspergillium swinging about as he becomes animated.

"Why the demon head? You know about the plains O.L.L.I, why would you speculate . . . hmmm, wait, are you familiar with harmonics or fields? Humans think of harmonics being synonymous with sound, which isn't entirely true, as sound is created through vibration and waves, and the vast majority of these waves are completely undetectable to prime beings. Fields are these things that exist over a large area, so if we were to take our idea of sound, a field would be something that the sound waves pass through . . . Let me know if I loose you."

O.L.L.I glances at Malfearr

"Have you considered sealing the entity in a pocket demiplane? Something that is liable to cause so much chaos and damage and resists destruction could conceivably be warded into a small convoluted Type Beta Artifical Möbius Demiplane as described in the text Mongrazzor's Guide to Ethereal Geometries. This unit has magically copied the text for patrons of the Lady's Library. This unit still keeps a complete copy of the text in his memory. If you wish, wizardry being Malfaerr, this unit can reproduce the text for you."

"You're either assuming," says the voice from the severed head, "that this is my actual body rather then just a conduit, or that I would be unable to simply attune another. I like this conduit, organic matter is so wonderful and squishy, but it's highly possible that I could simply attune something else. Maybe I could attune just about anything. Also I wouldn't put too much faith in Mongrazzor. Smart guy, for a mortal, but he made the fatal assumption that the Ethereal plane was one large singular mass and that it was solid around the edges, amusing really, but then I always love seeing hypothesis fail in such dramatic and catastrophic fashion. It's possible he wrote about it, I mean he was falling for some time, but I suspect that he went mad at some point. mortals can't really handle paradox or total sensory deprivation very well."

"One of the things I've come to learn,
is that which is not flesh cannot burn,
and burring the physical form in the ground,
won't prevent the head from making sound,
even now, trapped in the bag's pocket dimension,
it is still able to talk and grab our attention.
this is a problem to which I've given a bit of thought,
and although I've grabbed at them, a solution can't be caught."

Traveller Smurf looks at Malfaerr

"Maybe if you didn't carry around a big Smurfing severed demon Smurf around people wouldn't smurf that you are crazy."

Traveller Smurf eyes Malfaerr's bag and shudders.

"And what exactly would you have me do?

"Such is my terrible lot in life,
people think I'm not very nice,
or they think I'm completely insane,
just because of my tongue tided words and unkempt mane."

Malfearr grabs her mug of beer with both hands, her constant smile seems to shift to look slightly mischievous as her eyes focus on the frosty mug, and for a moment the woman looks like a teenager sneaking her first taste of alcohol. Her tongue gently licks her lips as she slowly hoists the mug to her lips and tilts it back . . . she nearly drains the entire thing with one swig. Only a small dribble at the bottom remains. She slams her mug back on the table with a satisfied sigh.

"But I'm not insane you should know,
I've proven that, the records will show,
How could I archive the things that I have,
If I truly was stark raving mad?
but I'm not good with speaking my mind,
somehow the words get twisted and come out unkind.
Or worse, they somehow make me sound unstable,
slanted or crooked, like a one legged table."

"you really are pushing that pie,
I said no and told you why,
please make no more mention of it to me,
I know what I want and know what I mean."

Malfearr suddenly realizes that she was a bit curt with the gnomish server.

"Sorry if that didn't come out sounding not very nice,
but I'm not accustomed to saying things twice."

"I must pass on the pastry I fear,
sweets don't mix well with the taste of beer."