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Ah, quickly now, I must commit my thoughts to paper before they begin to fade. Hopefully the light from the burning wagons will last long enough for me to complete my thoughts…

It was a fairly uneventful rest of the trip north from Torch, which we were thankful for after falling into that pit of undead. The group seemed jumpy and skittish the last few days, each of us waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop as we each built up our own worst expectations in our minds while we trudged quietly along towards Scrapwall. It seems as if the joyous times carousing in Torch were not enough to battle back the uneasiness we all harbored, so the march north was a near silent affair.

The day before we expected to reach Scrapwall we happened up on curious sight that of course resulted in conflict as is the norm for our little band of heroes. The terrain we were travelling across was not particularly rugged but the rolling hills and valleys did make it difficult to see very far off into the distance. This is why we were able to avoid detection as we came out of one of these small valleys and spotted a Gearsman and a Collector robot leading a trio of prisoners or captives in chains. We were able to approach undetected, upon revealing our presence the Gearsman blasted the area with a deep resonating tone that caused my ribs to rattle in my chest! It warned in Androffan that we were not to interfere with Technic League business or we would be dealt with severely. Well, we don’t have any particular love for the Technic League so the opportunity to interrupt their plans (no matter how small) was too good to pass up. A swirling melee ensued but it seemed that the lances of lightning Tharion flung about were the real work horses in that battle and they really turned the tide against our heavily armored opponents. After defeating the robots, we passed some extra weapons and food rations to the prisoners after releasing them from their bonds. They thanked us and headed off on their own.

Oh, I forgot to mention, my cousin Tharion has joined us from home. He was sent by father to check up on me after some of my reports made their way home and of course father was ever concerned that I would be unable to take care of things. After the departure of our gunslinger at the conclusion of our activities in Torch, having an arcanist add his power to our arsenal has been a real blessing. Also it is very nice to have someone fluent in our native tongue nearby so that we may discuss matters in the appropriate manner.

It took a week of travel from Torch, but we finally crested a barren and shrub covered hilltop that offered a distant view of Scrapwall. We can see the fort of Aldronard’s Grave sitting on the west bank and the eyesore that is Scrapwall rising from the dust on the east bank. We wandered through a few more wadis and washes losing sight of Aldronard’s Grave for a bit. When we came back into the flatlands leading down towards the river valley we suddenly spot thick black smoke rolling up from the fort where before there had been none. Tharion and I decided to scout ahead under cover to see what was happening. We encountered a couple of guards on the fort wall that tried to convince us they were burning plague-infested corpses. We immediately noticed they had a very strange manner of speaking, their words were in the common tongue, but their pronunciation was weird and they formed their words with accents I had never encountered before. Tharion and I quickly retreated and gathered the others as we were sure that something dastardly was underway.

As we approached the front of Aldronard’s Grave, the soldiers inside waived to us and called out that if we were determined to help burn the bodies then they would welcome our efforts. Again their odd speech patterns assaulted my ears but I thought little of it. Several of us cautiously stepped towards the portcullis and as we passed through the archway the gate was dropped and their ambush unleashed! Raimden and I dived forward out of the path of the falling gate while Morgrym and Aiden fell backwards outside. Poor Menas was so surprised that he was unable to react in time and was pinned beneath the points of the falling portcullis. Raimden and I could only shrug and we looked at each other and then drew blades to face our attackers. We were heavily outnumbered however we could tell by the way they held their blades that they were not as skilled with their weapons as we were with our own. Raimden quickly dived into a group of them and was immediately surrounded but his ability to deflect and riposte served him well as we was able to fend off most of their attacks. Some blades got through but they did mostly superficial damage. As I approached one warily, I quickly discovered the reason for their odd accents as each of them had cut off their own lips leaving their grisly gums and gnarly teeth exposed and protruding from their faces!

Raimden and I were forced to defend ourselves for a few seconds while Aiden and Morgrym tried desperately to lift the portcullis but after a few attempts it became clear they were not up to the task. I had to valiantly dive into the gatehouse, risking life and limb, to use the winches to lift the gate. That was even more challenging while I was forced to dodge the attacks of two of the lipless mongrels. Thankfully the combination of their poor quality blades and obviously ill-fitting armor that they had scavenged proved to be a blessing as it hampered their efforts to stop me! Eventually I was able to lift the portcullis a few feet and allow the rest of our group to join the fight. Once the others waded into the battle, it was quickly finished but not before Aiden hit one of them with his earthbreaker so hard that the vile ganger literally exploded like a blood filled wine skin smashed beneath the wheel of a carriage! Tharion and Menas were bathed in blood and I am sure they will not soon forget that day!

Afterwards we explored what was left of the fort and found things that turned my stomach. The lipless ones had assaulted those occupying the space and were working on flaying and fileting their bodies for dinner! We found horses and humans in various stages of butchery, their skin hanging from makeshift hooks being smoked and saved for dinner. We also found some horribly beaten (and I assumed tenderized) survivors that we immediately set about healing and getting them back in shape. We had the unfortunate task of informing them of the indignities inflicted upon their companions, but the news was taken as well as possible by the stoic paladin leading them.

We learned some of the history of this place, but the most intriguing point is that locked away behind those doors directly opposite of me wanders the spirit of Aldronard himself, still around and haunting any that would dare venture inside. The warning not to enter of course only piqued our interest further and I wanted to scribble down the events thus far before anything else happens, just in case we do decide to investigate this specter further. I shall report back more once we make our decision and if I survive, the results of our exploration! So exciting!

Well, after a couple of months off due to holidays, family, and folks being away we are back in the saddle… Let the fun commence!

Well, well, well. I finally get some time to get back to my journal. I regret that I have been distracted of late as details begin to slip if not written down quickly. However after finishing up our romp through the halls of the ship below Torch we had a bit of cash in our pocket and some pent up stress that needed to be taken care of which kept us busy for a few days. The band of merry adventurers has been spending loot, buying trinkets, and seeking the company of the fairer kind while we explore our next moves.

I guess I should mention that we were all surprised to discover that the giant flame that makes Torch and Black Hill such a destination for metalsmiths and crafters was a lot more complicated that we expected. The giant flames that burst from the ground above are the result of a broken bit of technology down below. I say bit, but it was actually a massive room sized bit of machinery that I don’t understand at all. Morgrym described it as the power source for the entire ship and that after all of these many many years it was still working, kind of. The machinery is damaged and degraded and the flames are a result of energy building up and having to release which is why it is hotter and better than any other flames in the land. The interesting part is that someone else found out about the source of the flame and has been trying to divert the leaking energy to another source by using some kind of transmitter. This transmitter is why the flames stopped, which we decided to take for ourselves to figure out.

The details are a bit foggy as the brews that they make in this small town are surprisingly strong, but somewhere along the line we decided to stick together and see where this leads. We gathered ourselves, refreshed and repacked our supplies, and headed out. At this point I am just following Morgrym and Raimden around as I’m sure they know where they are going. Our travels began well enough, however a couple of things have happened.

Firstly we ran into a trail of robotic footprints the size of small wagons! Their course and heading were similar to ours, but not parallel, so it appears we missed whatever massive creature is owner of those paws. Our bard, who seems to be knowledgeable of a great many things, did some scouting about and thinks that whatever it was, it had multiple legs similar to that of a spider. I had heard rumors back in Torch about a giant robot wandering the wastes but at that time I had brushed it off as silly nonsense, now I am not so sure…

The next day started out as any other, Morgrym woke us at dawn with his prayers and I was stiff from sleeping on the hard ground. We each went about our normal routines as we nourished our bodies and prepared for more walking. Early that morning, right in the middle of a wonderful discussion about local legends, the ground collapsed and swallowed up a good half of the group! In our travels we tend to keep the softer targets in the middle so that anything that may happen to surprise us has to fight to the middle. Well when it turns out the middle can’t react quickly enough to dodge reflexively, that creates a problem for the rest of us. Thankfully our bard was able to react with lightning speed and cast some sort of falling spell that kept our friends from being hurt. However as they lightly touched down in the ring of light that was created by the hole in the ground they fell through, all we could do was watch as they started shouting up to us about shuffling tech-mashed undead that were slowly moving in for a freshly delivered dinner!

I quickly grabbed the rope off my pack and lashed it to the pommel of my sword with a sailors knot, and then rammed the sword down into the ground to serve as an anchor point to rappel down into the void. There were no trees or large rocks as the lands we were travelling through were pretty barren. The trick worked for me, however one of the *ahem* heavier members of the group tried to climb down after me and instead succeeded in pulling my blade free of the ground. There goes our way out… Anyway we landed in some long long forgotten underground building or temple that was home to a sizable army of undead that had been experimented on, I guess? They had massive drill bits for arms and other pieces of what appeared to be random pieces of tech wired in to their bodies but they all wanted one thing, our blood!

Long story short, we were able to fight our way out as we explored several rooms and we ran into many packs of the nasty zombies. Of interest is that they were all slightly different and we were able to learn which ones had different traits and how to fight them. We also found the creature that had raised them all back to life, a nasty (although surprisingly physically attractive) tiefling type caster that was raising her own army! Our group did a fantastic job of engaging her and her troops so that we suffered only minimal damage. The only other thing that stood in our way was some crazy type of plant that barred the door out, any time we got close it would shoot roots out at us and then fling clouds of spores at us. I don’t know what the spores were fore, but I didn’t particularly want to play host!

My turn for watch is coming up, so I must retire from writing for now. I will have more time to record my thoughts now that we are travelling again, so I will get back to this soon!

So it appears that whatever that broken piece of tech was we salvaged out the lift was turned out to be pretty easy to fix. It only took Khonnir an hour to get the thing bent back into whatever shape it needed to be back into. Now that we have corrected that particular problem, it means it’s time to wander back down into the interesting spaces below the Hill. We made our way back down below and placed the piece back into the correct setting and suddenly things start lighting up and working again.

There was what turned out to be a final room to explore that held one of those machines that liked to stick needles in your body. We were able to dispatch it quickly but not before it got in a good shot on me and sliced open my side as I moved to flank it. A quick spell from our bard and I was good as new.

We discussed it for a bit and decided that we should try and check out what awaited us above. As the lift doors opened on the top floor, a small chime rang out announcing our arrival. This alerted several large dog-like creatures with spiked collars and overly large fangs that dinner was being served. They were lounging about upon piles of old bones, tattered cloth scraps, and various other bits of debris but they were certainly quick enough to leap into the fray as we spilled out of the lift. I think I am starting to learn some strategy as even though I was the quickest to react to the situation, I allowed others in my troupe to dance ahead of me and engage the beasts so that I might better find a flanking position to attack from. The fight went surprisingly well and we were able to dispatch the fiends with little effort, only some minor scrapes and wounds amongst we the intrepid heroes.

This room that we had found was oddly shaped in a sort of half circle with many doors along the flat wall ahead. I decided to start from the left in an orderly fashion and doing my best to be silent I opened the first portal. I was certainly surprised to see two half-orcs and three ratman-type creatures beyond the entrance wearing an odd assortment of make-shift armor and improvised weaponry salvaged from rather large bits and pieces of sharp metal and broken tech found lying about. Thankfully I was able to duck out of sight before they noticed me. I signaled back to the group and they prepared for the engagement. The group braced for combat as the scavengers ran out and started attacking. Some fantastic swordplay was on display as we traded shots back and forth. At one point I was even balanced up on a rail stabbing down at the green-skinned brutes. I found a weak point in their defense and exploited it deftly, killing the beast. While I was bounding about the battle my allies were also doing well as they were able to defeat the poorly equipped creatures. The fight wrapped up quickly and we were able to continue with our explorations.

I opened a second door and found a trap unlike anything I had seen before. Bold green arcs of electricity bounded back and forth from small projections in the walls of the small hallway. It took me some time to find the mechanism that disabled the lighting. After bravely walking through I found another interesting room behind another door. The room featured a broad staircase prominently featured in the center leading up to a raised balcony area. Off to my right I quickly spotted a suspicious looking statue that resembled one of those ghastly gargoyles I’ve often seen decorating important buildings around town. It sat between two large burning brazier’s which seemed odd to me. I’ve read in other journals of explorers describing similar scenes and I always wondered if it were true? Where were the stacks of wood that would be required to fuel such things? Where would the smoke from the burning go? Who stokes the fires and keeps them running? Well, I have no answers to any of those questions, but sure enough there were two of them burning happily away in the center of these tunnels deep below ground. Odd.

Anyway, it turns out that I was right to be nervous about the statue as it was a living beast. I guess it didn’t notice me but it did notice my friends and it quickly came alive and flew over to assault them. The fight was very tough because of the beast’s thick hide that seemed to be able to deflect our blades and offer it some significant protection. Eventually I and Aiden fell below the mighty blows of the living stone fists and claws, thankfully the rest of the group was able to finish off the creature and then tend to our wounds.

Ahh, the sound of new book bindings creaking, always a rewarding sound! I had to replace my old journal as it suffered a significant amount of damage in the last trip underground due to an upset automaton pounding my body into pulp several times. However I was glad I had my journal as I am sure it saved me from a final blow from the angry machine by providing just enough extra padding that my lungs were not destroyed!

It seems that our jolly band of treasure hunters needs to work on our communication skills a bit, lest we suffer another round of near-extinction! After we wrapped up in the room with the dead prisoners we decided to continue on and explore just one or two more rooms before we retreated to regain our strength. For whatever reason, it did not get clearly communicated that our cleric and bard were basically out of their magical abilities for the day. Also some of the more physically inclined party members failed to disclose exactly how hurt they were from the previous encounters. Looking back, it is pretty easy to see how we ended up nearly all dead and just another footnote in the history of Torch.

Anyway the rescue of Khonnir was accomplished, but it was almost an end to our troupe. We encountered these two automatons and they were a significant challenge for us. Yes we were depleted and out of resources, but even if we had our full complement of spells we were still unprepared for what we faced. One of the machines seemed to just want to inject some sort of sleeping poison into us then the other one would scoop you up and pound on you. The first machine was not horribly difficult to deal with and even though it managed to cause some issues it was tackled fairly quickly. The second one was an entirely different story.

As it turned out, almost nothing we had in our arsenal was strong enough to get through the additional armor and padding built into that foe. Even with my ability to find and exploit weak spots, we were unable to do more than chip off dust or occasionally ding the outer shell. The one guy we were really hoping to make the difference by using his earthbreaker seemed to be unable to hit or when he did the machine would jerk just to the side and cause the hit to glance off. The fight dragged out and part members were falling left and right so Alexis and I decided to just grab Khonnir out of the metal cage he was in and make a break for it. Well it turns out that the machine did not want to let Khonnir go and instead of focusing on the combatants directly surrounding it, followed Alexis and I as we tried to escape. This of course ended up with us being beaten unconscious, then healed back from a magic wand, then beaten down again, rinse repeat.

Eventually the bard ended up saving the day by landing some especially critical hits while using his longsword two handed. We learned that we did not have the correct tools for that job so we needed to correct that situation. We returned Khonnir to Torch but had to seek some immediate help as his mind had been diminished to almost that of a feral beast due to some sort of mechanical disease called nan-ite-is or nanbots or nanites or something like that. But a couple of days under the care of the local healer and Khonnir was back to his old self.

(OOC) – So, as UseplanB said, this night was uber frustrating and it was our fault as party members and also the encounter being something we as a group were not ready to handle. Because we only play every Friday night, we somehow forgot to go over the fact that we had not rested at the end of last Friday and so were all still hurt and out of spells. So yeah, rookie mistake and dumb of us. However the fight we ran into was hard enough that it would not have mattered if we had all our abilities and I encourage GMs to think about it very carefully before getting here. We ran into something that had a hardness value that none of us were prepared to handle. Our group has never been the most strategically minded so we almost never run away from a fight, so we even tried that and it didn’t work. We also almost never use the assist other function so we didn’t think about that until it was too late. So don’t be afraid to offer some gentle nudging or ideas if your group doesn’t have a lot of heavy hitters.

After returning to town and seeing that Khonnir was safely taken care of, we did what any other adventuring group does and focused our efforts on getting paid for our efforts, selling our finds, and getting some much needed rest. I mostly spent my time around the tavern resting and regaining my strength. I know Grym and the singer spent some time meeting with a local Sanvil Trett and had some of our finds evaluated and traded. That ended up leading to Trett trying to sneak in and steal some of our tastier things later that night. It did not work out so well for him as he found one of the bear traps Aiden had left about as protection. It basically mutilated his leg and alerted us to his presence. He had waited until the very darkest hours of the night while we were all sound asleep but we caught him.

I searched him and found our stuff but I also found a slip of paper with our names all listed as well some other folks in town. We went around and interviewed the folks and ended up talking with Garmen about why his name was on the list or if he knew anything about a warehouse that was also written down. He of course, as a fine upstanding citizen had no idea what we were talking about. We had a feeling he wasn’t being honest so we dropped it at that and left.

After some interrogation of Trett at some later point we learned that he was a member of the League and that Garmen was a major crime boss in the area. We also learned that he might be hiding some things of value in his warehouse across town. This of course led us to checking the place out the next day. We cased the place and found that it was disguised to look abandoned but that there was one entrance that had been recently used. After employing some heroic lock-picking skills I was able to get us into the place, but that presented a problem. As usual, we had not discussed what we should do if we run into someone on the inside. So upon opening the door and seeing 2 Ropefist guards walking around, well, we had no idea what to do. Our swashbuckler just strutted right past us and started working some bluff magic and found out that Garmen was here.

Well, that presented some problems so we employed our standard tactic of shoot first ask later and jumped into a free for all right there on the catwalk. When I finally rolled into the building I was momentarily slowed by some feeling of sickness that seemed to vibrate in the air but it quickly passed. Later I found out that Garmen had been hiding a particularly rare piece of technology that was causing headaches and sickness all over town. The fight was relatively short in that we were able to handle the Ropefist guards rather quickly even though they really pack a punch (pardon the pun). Garmen nearly gutted our swift-talking fancypant swashbuckler but we were able to gang up on him and eventually bring him down before finishing the job.

So now, we have to figure out what to do with this new piece of tech as we prepare to return to the tunnels below!

This place we have decided to stumble through just seems to continue to offer surprises and disconcerting situations. It has become increasingly challenging to even describe the artifacts and machines left behind by the aliens (for indeed these can only be from an alien source) after the destruction of their habitat. Should we find Khonnir and return him safely to Torch, we will surely be able to fill our pockets with gold after selling the strange and wondrous things we keep happening upon. Of course that assumes that we will survive the trip.

As our group has progressed through the tunnels and rooms of this alien place, I have continued to search for any of the traps or barriers that one would commonly expect in standard expedition exploration. However as this is so strangely different from any of my previous hunts through underground places, I have yet to find anything that resembles your usual explorer-bait. I’m continue to be vigilant but I am concerned that I will become careless and when the time comes that I truly need to perform my duty as an expert in traps and barriers that I will miss a sign to the detriment of my companions. I will just have to stay motivated and do my utmost to remain focused.

We began our exploration by opening into a medium sized room that seemed to have a central desk and various bits of debris and whatnot scattered about. There was the presence of some nasty red mold off in one corner but our bard assured us that is was harmless. The primary thing of note was the massive red stain of dried blood and gore that had once pooled under a door to the north. The size of the stain left little to the imagination of the fate of the victim, but only about half of it was on our side of the door and the rest disappeared behind the closed portal door. A moment passed where we each seemed to catch each other’s eye in a questioning sort of way and as a group we sort of mentally shrugged and prepared our individual weapons for what may lie ahead.

Cautiously we opened the door and peered ahead, expecting an ambush. Instead we were greeted with a scene of horror and ruin that caused us to take a step back. A hallway extended before us, the floor coated in gallons of dried blood from what had to be many bodies being dragged through to the door beyond. However it appears that the group gave as well as it got as there were many twisted and melted heaps of metal in clumps along the curving hall. It appears quite an exchange of steel and magic reduces many of the automatons to melted rubble, but not enough to stop several explorers from passing on. The floor was not the only place covered in the dark red tapestry, as many splashes and slashes of dried blood on the walls encouraged us to keep our hands to ourselves as we passed through this hall. It curved to the right and ended in another portal door, I wish the blood trails would have ended there as well however we could see them continue on as if it were some gore-filled fairytale road.

We entered the next room and it appeared to be some sort of study area or science oriented location. We observed piles of dirt and geodes on tables strew about the room. Off to one corner there seemed to be some sort of plant creature that was unlike anything I had ever seen before. It was only as tall as a gnome but it was shaped like a giant bulbous brain with spindly little limbs that barely supported the weight. The most commanding feature was the giant mouth the spanned the entire span of his round body, like some sort of tooth-filled Mohawk waiting to chew us down. Oh, and also it spoke directly into our minds, sounding like the scariest child imaginable. We spoke back and forth briefly and were able to determine that some machines had dragged several bodies through the room into some other hallway beyond yet another portal door. After saying several times that it enjoyed the “bright red food” left behind by the previous altercation in the hallway, it finally got hungry enough to try and take some more bright red food directly from our bones. Or course we were loath to comply with such a request and a fight for our lives ensued. It was a quick battle with bites and blades exchanged, however the important part is that yours truly survived without incident! I don’t believe the creature was able to even strike a blow against me which is truly a wonderful turn of events! It did have one sneaky trick, some sort of sound pulse that was so powerful in our minds that caused a few of us to be sickened and nauseous for part of the battle. In the end, I was able to land a particularly solid stab that seemed to cut the fight short, or at least hasten the end of the plant’s life.

As we continued on through the portals on the other side of the room we continued to follow the trail of blood. It led to yet another doorway that seemed to move into some other area, so we decided to double back and clear the rooms behind us to assure that nothing angry (or hungry) would surprise us amid another battle. I wish I could explain the different machines and other baubles we encountered, but I don’t understand at all what we were seeing. I will say we found some strange tubes that seemed to have rations in a gooey almost liquid form contained within. Even after such a long time underground the goop still had a great flavor and seemed to be edible. Several of us took some to either use or sell as each wished, but other than that the technology in this place is beyond my skills. Morgrym and the bard seem to be as happy as can be rushing from thing to thing, I am just hoping to survive!

This small prep room opened into a much larger room that seemed to be designed as a large dining room. Mostly overturned metal tables and stools occupied the room along with some machinery along the wall. We did run into a couple of small yellow globs that I had heard tend to carry disease. They slowly creeped across the room and I tried to warn my companions, but Aiden leapt off one of the tables heroically and smashed one of them into the ground with his massive weapon. The resulting explosion of acid and goop may have exposed several companions to illness, but only time will tell.

Eventually we came to a different sort of room, it was a small place and the doors did not react in the same way. Morgrym told me it was called an “elevator” and that if it was actually working it would act in the same way as a lift. There was some sort of sparking and arcing lightning bouncing around some metal wires that burned a bit when I tried to remove the broken parts. I had to give up on it but had better luck when I came back through later. It took all of my skill and reflexes but I finally got it out on the second try.

It seems that maybe some of the experiments may have grown up and taken over this place as we continue to encounter aggressive and oversized plant life that hungers not for the sun, but for flesh. This time we moved into a room covered with ivy and foliage. In the back of the room, hidden in the lush dense brush was a giant yellow flower with very long thorny vines. Of course, as we are very attached to our skin we fought back and thanks to one heck of a great shot by Alexi the plant was beaten quickly. I wish to point out that I survived yet another battle with barely a scratch, so this must have been my blessed day! As we were wrapping up that engagement, a door off to the side of the room swished open and a band of tiny living vines with claws came pouring into our space. They were mean and angry little beasts but we were able to finish them off with careful application of strategy and sharp blades.

After we explored the room and found cell with human prisoners with torsos that had exploded outwards, as if some vile creature had burst forth from within. What sort of clue that might be is yet to be determined, however I am sure that I will not be taken captive under any circumstance if that is to be the fate of prisoners. I believe each carried a holy symbol of Brigh upon them, which was not a pleasant situation for Morgrym to have to face.

Here we paused to discuss our options, I will report our decision of which path we choose to follow in my next journal entry.

Well it would seem that after returning to town, my companions required some down time to shed the stresses of being underground roll off their shoulders. I don’t quite understand how participating in games of chance that are heavily weighted to the advantage of the establishment makes them feel better, but things seemed to go well for us as a group. I believe we all ended up making some coin as the fates seemed to be in our favor. After spending some time there we all retired for the evening to prepare for the next trip below.

The next morning we again descended into the tunnels and picked up our explorations where we left off. We noticed how the walls quickly stopped being made of stonework and shifted to being made of some kind of strange dark grey metal. The corridors were very quiet except for the ringing echo of our steps as we slowly made our way deeper.

I scouted ahead and stopped the group as a robot guard came into view. After looking it over we determined that it was just another repair robot and that it was not interested in us or much of anything else. It just stood there as we approached carefully and did not react as we circled it and waited. After a few moments of nothing happening, we decided it was safe to try and find a way through the portal door that it seemed to guard. There was a small raised pad area on the side of the door so naturally that looked like a great place to start. Grabbing my best set of picks I worked my way under the panel and heard a click as my picks activated the mechanisms underneath. I heard Aiden shout out my name and then I remember nothing as the back of my head caved in…

I woke up at some point later thanks to Morgrym’s magical healing. I’m not sure what happened for the few minutes I was unconscious, but I am starting to be afraid that one of these times Morgrym won’t be able to bring me back from the brink. I’ll just have to be even more on my toes as we continue in this strange environment. Which speaking of strange, as we crept forward the walls kept changing back and forth from smooth and obviously metal structure to deep red rock and natural sand floors. I’m not sure why it changes back and forth but it is disturbing.

In the first major space where the engineered tunnels converted to wide open natural rock and sand we ran into some kind of creature I had never seen before. This beast lived under the sand and it would fling tentacles at us as it tried to pull us into a maw of razor sharp teeth. That particular behavior was not uncommon amongst other creatures we have all encountered, however it had some sort of ability to make the sand around it turn to a thick and almost soupy sort of consistency that instantly would start to suck you downwards. My natural agility made it easy for me to escape the clutches of the sand once it had me, but there was little I could do to avoid the initial suction of the sand. Because of this I spent most of our battle dancing in the sand trying to avoid being dragged below to my death. Finally other members of our band were able to raise enough offense from a distance to kill off the monster.

After defeating the sand monster we ventured further into this great desert expanse in the darkness that surrounded us. We were all eager to understand what was here under the Hill but after the many surprises we had encountered thus far we were understandably cautious. With a marching order that best utilized our reaction times and skills we set out following the footsteps in the sand that obviously just had to be Khonnir’s group, right? We had seen very little sign of any other recent activity down here so we figured that these footsteps must have belonged to the remaining members of the group we are here to rescue. As we forged ahead, we encountered (at different times) these wandering four-armed and rather tall skeletons that had way too many bones in them and that also prominently featured this sickly green light that while was bright, seemed to ooze out of their eye sockets. The first of these fell before the rapidly moving blade of RaimdenThe creature could not even muster a defense in time to stop the angry thrusts leveled against it. . After the battle Raimden mentioned that he had spent time in Osirion and that even that far south he had heard rumors of four-armed aliens and that these may be undead versions of those beings. The second creature suffered the same fate although in this instance it was the mighty hammer of Morgrym, guided by the power of his faith, that turned the walking pile of bones to dust.

A while later as we were moving deeper into the land we encountered a third one, only this one was a king of its kind for sure. This superior being quickly overpowered Aiden as he rushed in to meet the beast face-to-face. It battered aside Aiden’s weapon and with seemingly one strong swipe tore a gaping wound the length of Aiden’s torso wide open which quickly put the brave fighter out of the battle. The rest of us quickly moved to encircle the creature and to move it away from Aiden, but we had very little success in even hitting it. When we were able to land a blow, it seemed that our weapons could not find solid purchase. I was able to sneak past its defenses and land a shot, which quickly earned me some unwanted attention. As has been the standard for my time with this group, in short order I was overpowered by the sheer strength of the beast and was left unconscious once again. I don’t know how the fight ended as I was not standing to see it, but we were victorious and had to move away quickly to find a safe spot to lick our wounds.

After we were back to some sort of fighting shape we continued on towards a lit cavern off to one side. We were able to explore some areas that some of the smarter folks in our group were very excited about because they were full of technology to play with, but I was more focused on another four armed fellow with very sharp serrated short swords that seemed intent up killing us. The fight raged back and forth trading advantage between sides but eventually we were able to strategically position ourselves and finish him off without too much of our blood being spilled. For now though, our group is out of spells and tricks for the day, so we must rest and see what the next day will bring!

My character has ranks in knowledge dungeoneering and local, Gods don't fall under those. Also travelling with a dwarf that mumbles a lot. Bligh is what I stand by!

The other grammar/spelling issues are because yes I was sick for 5 days and then tried to rush the post late at night, but Bligh I can argue and live with.

It appears know that our little fellowship has finally found a focus: Khonnir Baine. Some of us are of course connected to him personally, some are now drawn to him primarily due to the promise of future financial reward, but we are focused and moving towards finding him. It seemed a common theme with every merchant or smith that we spoke how Khonnir Baine was good for Torch, so it is wonderful that we are headed to find him. Hopefully our first adventure together as a company will prove to be a successful one.

After receiving the blessing from the cleric Joram we proceeded to the pond. While the water did not appear to be anything out of the ordinary at first glance, we quickly found out otherwise when its oily film covered us. We sank to the bottom in various degrees of grace, speed, comfort, and concern but we did all manage to find a tunnel a ways down that lead back into the tunnels Khonnir had described upon his first return. We emerged unceremoniously into a small opening with barely enough solid ground to stand on or space to swing a blade. My elven blood could not handle the depths to which that water had been poisoned and I was sickened. Waiting in ambush were three beetles the size of dogs with large scythe-like mandibles and brightly glowing orange eyes and the moment we cleared the water they were upon us.

We were not prepared as our gear was still stowed protectively from the water and a couple of us were suffering from contact with that unholy pond. We each played our part one of those beasts in particular made a lucky hit and forced me to retreat from the battle or face dire consequences indeed. I was ale to find an opening while one was focused on Aiden and was able defeat it in one strike. However then my strength failed me between the sickening water and my blood being in a large pattern on all of us and had to watch from a few feet away. It was almost like watching a troop of children chase a greased chicken through a corn field. No one could keep a grip on their weapon, the ground was so slippery people were sliding all over into each other, and there was no space so we were all in each other’s way. It was a horrible first encounter but we survived, barely, and thanks to our fine furry dwarven companion and his most generous deity.

During the fray our firearms specialist retrieved his weapon and crawled up to the small ledge above us and kept watch down the connected tunnel ensuring we would not be caught unawares. After receiving the healing touch of Bligh I joined him at his perch. He nodded his head forward without letting his eyes leave the mark he was watching. “Do not step in front of me, it would be unfortunate to be caught in the blast. However there is something up ahead in the darkness that I cannot quite make out.” It was much easier for my eleven eyes to see farther down the tunnel and I spotted a corpse left in the dirt. “I will go ahead my friend, and see if there are any surprises.”

In near silence I crawled through the many spindly stone columns in this cramped and narrow tunnel. Weaving my way in between them I approached the corpse and found the body of a half-orc – Garda I think her name was – dead from many very nasty looking dagger wounds all over her body. Whatever founder, did so with speed and certainly, those were a lot of cuts. Softly I called back to the group urging them forward as I crept into the small cave that opened before me. It was appalling how much noise they made as they cautiously made their way through the pillars, but in the silence of a cave all noises ring about your eyes as if in a concert theater under the stars.

As the last of us piled in and Aiden stood to stretch his back now that the ceiling was higher than 5 feet tall, a brilliant white blast of light assaulted us out of the darkness. All of us but the bard were able to avoid it in time, hopefully the damage isn’t permanent. A bulbous, veiny, thin-skinned, over grown mushroom was attacking us. Others moved to engage it first while I waited for a smart moment to strategically position myself. As I moved about the edge of the battle to place myself opposite of Alexi, the creature lashed out with razor sharp claws that immediately ripped the breath from my lungs. The damage was extensive and I could only summon the strength to feebly make single attacks to defend myself as I was staggered from the clearly near-fatal blow. The beast was quickly defeated thanks to my companions, and I took a knee and tried hard to concentrate on finding air while Morgryn once again beseeched his god on my behalf.

Before moving on we decided to double check a back channel that led off into the darkness. Again I volunteered my stealthy skills to scout ahead and mark our path. Since Morgryn had been forced to patch me up several times thus far, he decided to simply follow me this time to cut to the quick. Unfortunately it was his heavy boots that brought about the attack from some undetected slimes in ona small beach a short way in. The rest of the group had stayed behind and could not reach us before the slimes had done their damage. I could not withstand the assault and dropped to darkness, splashing loudly as I fell under their blows.

I awoke a few moments later, Morgryn once again using his healing magics to keep me on this plain. At this point I told the party I had about enough of taking the abuse for the day and someone else could strike out and search for traps because so far all I’ve found is monsters rending my flesh from my bones. With all seriousness they understood and agreed.

We later came across the creature that I think is responsible for all the dagger wounds in Garda. We were walking carefully through another tunnel when the wall itself spoke to us and bid us halt in broken common. We all about freaked out as a creature that looked to be made of the stone itself –a creature I later learned would be known as a Skulk- bid half our group follow or all would perish. It was agreed and so we learned from other of her kind that there were several gremlins about that if we would remove as a threat, we would be granted safe passage to continue our search for Khonnir. Of course we readily agreed and sought out to find them and eliminate them.

I kindly offered to once again assume my role as scout and resident trap locator but the group felt that I should wait as my wounds had not been fully healed from the last encounter. In fact I was in critical condition but I refused to complain but I did agree to watch from the rear. Aiden took one step with his size 14 boots into the next small chamber and a GIANT spike on a sprung-tight log came flying out of no-where and impaled itself in his leg to the bone! At that precise moment, we were ambushed by three of them but because of the tunnel network I was able to avoid the initial onslaught and instead ran around behind them. I caught one of them flatfooted and my blade easily sliced through his thick hide and ended his life. Thanks to smart positioning and coordinated attacks we were able to assault their flanks and do well enough to get past their defenses easily enough. Their commander was found a few twists and turns later and put up stiff resistance, but he too swiftly fell to our blades.

We returned to the Skulks and as agreed we are now allowed to pass unmolested through their lands as long as we bring no violence to her people. And thus ends our first day underground!

Ok so I grabbed the back story for Tyriis out of the email I sent to UseplanB before the game started and I added a little to it.

Greetings all, I am playing Tyriis Kryst, one unchained rogue in Useplanb’s campaign. My elven scoundrel is male, 6’1”, traditional long blonde hair and blue eyes. His studded leather and two short swords are not of the finest quality that can be found, but they are in good condition and are well cared for. He is more of the dungeon delving trap finding sort of rogue that enjoys exploring and finding things others haven’t seen in ages and less of the criminal/thug sort of rogue. However, as one that really enjoys his drink and prays to Cayden as often as he can find a bar to do it in, he isn’t above underhanded choices and tactics when needed.

Dearest Father,

It is with glad tidings that I send this first missive back to you and Mother reporting my progress. Please extend my warmest regards to Mother and assure her that I am following her words of advice to the letter.

While I confess that I still do not completely grasp your intentions for me by requesting my presence on this caravan guard, however I certainly have learned to trust in your wisdom. I have not heard of any of the other youth at the Academy participating in a “coming of age” experience, but of course if you insist then it is my pleasure to follow your will.

At our parting you indicated it would serve me well to keep you informed of the companions that I meet for the duration of this journey. I find that to be an interesting request as it is highly unlikely that any of the souls I encounter will ever find their paths intersecting with your own, but perhaps I will divine your reasons in time. I have endeavored to catalog and document every detail of any significance and will include them in my reports as I have time and as my duties allow.

Thus far our journey has taken us from home to Torch, I served as a scout for the guard company that was hired to escort a caravan of merchants, tradesmen, and smiths seeking to take their turn at the great purple flame. While there were a large number of hirelings and sell-swords in the employ of the caravan, several of the individuals that I encountered seemed to really stand out as interesting and full of potential. During the six day march these other five adventurers and I quickly bonded over surprisingly delicate dinners and fine brews. Many stories were shared and lies told, but the six of us seemed to get along well.

The roster of my travelling companions includes: a bushy-haired and almost constantly scowling dwarven cleric of Brigh, an impeccably polite and quietly reserved gentleman that seems to fancy firearms, a well-dressed individual that seems to share many of my own skillsets, a skilled bard that appears to be far more devout than many I have encountered before, and finally a very large human that although he speaks very slowly and with great deliberation carries a very large blade that he seems to be ready and apple to apply to dangerous situations.

That is all for now, other than I wish to sincerely thank you for that lesson on the reverse hand feint that you taught me last summer. This very eve I was able to employ that maneuver to separate the head of a crazed robot from its metal body before it managed to send one of my companions on to their next life! I will write again soon, I promise!

Sincerely,
Tyriis

AHOY there all ya lads and lasses, a moment of silence as ya toss back tha’ there next pint if’n ya please! Lift yer glasses and stand off yer arses one last time in tha name of one of tha best of us tha’ shall no longer be counting his blade amongst our numbers. To Tsadok, may his mighty Fang ever fight on in tha next life as it did in this one. For Gorum, for glory, ye shall be missed ya old dirty scoundrel! May it forever be decreed tha’ here in my bar, tha greatest most famousest watering hole in all of Riddleport, tha wonderous Golden Goblin, tha’ clerics of Gorum get a free pint on tha house as long as they be liftin’ tha’ pint in Tsadok’s honor! An so tha’ we never forget, we’ve hung his shield there, above tha bar, so tha’ his spirit can forever shield us from bad luck, demons, and dirty stinkin’ Drow elves!!

How did tha’ final battle go, the one that ended the journey of our stout orcish companion? Well let me tell ya it were a cheatin’ affair it was! We be knowin’ tha’ there bridge and tha giant doors hid our greatest fight yet, an so we did tha sensible thing (for once) and spelled ourselves up proper. Tsadok spent a moment or two makin’ sure his mighty Fang was ready ta taste blood while callin’ upon Gorum ta watch this historic battle. Me? Yours truly drank a brew an thanked tha sea tha’ one way or another I’d be outta them caves an back ta tha life I love, salty air an billowy sails me hearties! Tha others said their prayers or checked their blades one last time as we all avoided sayin’ what we was thinkin’, it would be her, or us, one final showdown on her turf.

Of course she cheated. Somehow tha’ nasty slimey darkelf knew we was comin’ an was ready ta meet our charge. She an her twenty closest mates was all there watchin’ as we opened them big iron doors, an tha’s when all the Hell’s broke loose. She was standin’ there smirkin’ with about ten black-hearted drow clerics, three of tha biggest golems ya have ever laid yer eyes on, archers (did I mention tha’ arrows make life full of no fun?) an some nasty six armed halfsnake demon tha’ really wanted ta see if’n my insides tasted like chicken!

As tha doors parted, Tsadok and me was both enlarged (thanks ta his Gorum magic juice) an we both stood there side by side takin’ up every bit of space of them doors, we just looked sideways at each other and clinked blades as a final warrior’s wish fer good luck. It were an emotional moment, ta be sure, though he’d tell ya it never happened. Then we did what we does best, rushed right inta tha middle of all tha’ mess screamin’ our damn fool heads off as tha rage took hold and our vision turned red! Tsadok, tha’ fearless tusked mook, dived right in an took on two golems an some clerics all by himself, right up tha middle. I skirted right an tried ta flank but ran into a golem of me own as well as a cleric or two.

The clerics spent most of their time dispelling and healin’, but in tha end their magics were no match for tha raw damage we was slingin’ about. Between Fang an me own Seablade, we cut through them like a frigate’s hull through a silent night’s tide. Now, while we was fightin’ our way there, that crazy monk of ours jumped right past all of us an went toe to toe with Alevra directly! It was a good thing too, his stunning fist an other crazy monk-magics kept her busy and staggered while we dealt with all her friends. Eventually though, Saru’s monk power could not withstand tha onslaught an he fell under her power.

Our rogue also had ta be resurrected in tha middle of tha battle as he took a few too many hits from tha’ dirty drow. Between tha archers an Alevra he withered under a constant barrage and our wonderful cleric of tha drinking god had ta bring both tha monk an tha rogue back ta tha land of tha living. Tsadok told us earlier tha if he died in battle tha’ we was not allowed ta bring him back, but tha others had no problem being made upright again!

Finally Tsadok an I cleared most of them little guys out of there, I even took down tha’ crazy snake demon thing, an there was Alevra standing wide open an ready ta be charged. Tsadok charged her first, an as he got close with Fang blazin’ away ready ta cleave out her black heart, a rune on tha rocks next ta her flared ta life an Tsadok fell dead an his corpse slid to rest at her feet. She looked up at me an smiled, which of course pushed my rage ta a whole new level. She expected tha’ rune ta do tha same ta me, but no sir, this dwarf made it ta her with no toubles. I heard our sorceress Maleeka off in tha back casting spells as she ran, she was tryin’ ta dodge some small ball of inky blackness tha’ was trackin’ her about in that back of tha battle. I dunno what she was able ta get done while she was runnin’ about, but at least once somethin’ happened an Alevra was a bit less shiny and buffed.

Tha battle raged back an forth, we got some good shots in, Alevra got some mean spells off, but thanks ta tha efforts of our cleric we was able ta deliver tha killin’ blow an finish off one of tha greatest evils I’ve ever known. In dramatic fashion I was tha one tha’ ended her life as me trust Seablade nearly cut tha’ nibly-bimbly evil cleric in half. She smiled as me blade bit into her skin, like she knew somethin’ I didn’t, but then after a second tha’ smirk turned ta horror as she realized she really was dead. Maleeka told us later tha’ she had dispelled a contingency spell tha’ would have whisked Alevra away so she could heal without Alevra noticin’… HAH!

So, we saved tha world no thanks ta all you rotten bums sittin’ here downin’ yer beers, which by tha way tha Golden Goblin thanks ya fer yer patronage so drink up an buys more says I! After we stopped her an her evil plan ta smoosh all yer fine heads with a giant space rock, we decided we’d had enough. He gathered up our loots, went back an talked ta tha elves about some other carts of treasure we had left in their care, an then we headed back ta Riddleport. We hadn’t received not one single payment for sellin’ tha Golden Goblin before we left, so when we came back we decided it was still ours. Folks thought we was menacin’ before we left, well when we showed back up all outfitted an even more lethal than before, well they had no problems signin’ tha deed right back over ta us.

So tha’s how she ends boys an girls. It were an epic tale of hope and murder, of greed an bloody booty, an I hope y’all enjoyed every minute of it. Now remember, tha Golden Goblin is not responsible fer anythin’ I’ve said, an sponsorship does not imply endorsement! If’n any of ya’s was offended durin’ tha course of me longwinded stories, well then ship out says I an make room for some other landlubber ta belly up an spend coin on tha worst beer in Riddleport! G’day and bottoms up!

*Just a quick thanks to our GM for this adventure path, it was his first time GMing and we had a lot of fun with him and as a group. Also thanks to UseplanB for motivating me and others (at times) to post here and share what was happening in our heads during the game sessions. The journal has really helped add to the picture of what our characters were doing that we as players did not do a good job conveying at the table. I highly encourage other groups to do the same as it really makes a difference and helps flesh out your characters. As a disclaimer, any names or places that I got wrong, well I don’t pay the best of attention to details and so was able to just fold it into the character, just go with it and be happy. Take care, and thanks for reading.

AHOY LADS! Tha’s right ya squinty-eyed barrel-jacks I be back from yet another voyage full of plunder an gold ready ta spend me ill-gotten booty here in this fancified waterin’ hole! Pop tha corks and tap tha barrels, I be tyin’ one on tonight arrrrr! Wha’s tha’?!? Ya didna even save me favorite stool by tha bar?? You lot be full of scurvy rats says I, no love in them tar black hearts is there? HAH! Tsadok there been tellin’ ya stories again has he, well I be glad tha’ I came back just in time ta set tha record straight.

Nay I won’t be borin’ ya with tha details of what happened, I’ll be jumpin’ right up to where that stuffy Tsadok brought ya ta in our adventure. Where was he? Oh aye tha’ crazy demon day, now I tell ya tha’ was one day I was for sure this pirate was a gonner. Tsadok knew better than ta let me get in an talk to tha’ stuffy druid elf so once again he kept me outside. Lemme tell ya mates, by this time I’da had just about as much elf as I could stand. I know he’s told ya about all the underhanded, shifty, not ta mention downright rude things them sharp-eared gits had done ta us all while we was savin’ their people! We was heroes we was, heroes treated like beggers an pack-mules! But tha high druidness there offered us some safe rooms and lodgings until tha big meetin’ tha next day. Of course tha last time some high-n-mighty elf-twit offered us anythin’ we ended up in some sort of time-warp room that served us endless amounts of bacon an sweet wine while we wasted away, so of course we was a bit nervous about this one.

It were a bit funny ta watch Tsadok try an explain ta tha guard cap’n there why we was all himmin’ an hawwin’ an draggin’ our feet about goin’ through tha’ doorway. Tsadok, even though he be havin’ orc blood ragin’ through his veins (an believe me he is solid as a dwarven rock wall in a fight) still manages ta try an make sure he doesn’a say things tha’ might offend if’n he can help it. Finally he just gave up an explained tha last time, but the guard still didna seem ta get it. At some point we just decided ta go for it and we plunged right in, an it weren’t half bad for elf rooms. We quickly spread out as we be wont to do, an I found a nice cozy place ta rest me weary bones. Ya never know how long it may be until yer next restin’ spot, so I take advantage of places ta sleep! Besides, me old dogs were tired again from all the fightin’ and walkin’ we’d been doin’ of late, so sleep was called for!

As far as I know, tha night went by wonderfully as I slept like a wee baby at his mother’s neck I did. The guard cap’n came an rousted us right early and we all went through our respective mornin’ rituals. After a bit we headed up ta where all them high an mighty elf folks on tha Winter Council were supposed ta meet. Tha’ guard tried ta explain how we was supposed ta act, all proper an whatnot, pretty much ignored every last bit of tha’ as I didna give a ripped sail if I offended them sneaky rats. I figured by this time they be owin’ us a ton of respect an glory fer all tha hard work we’d already done for them anyways. If somethin’ I did managed ta offend them, I figured theys can just sit on it!

They usher us inta this “holy” place an all four of them black-hearted scoundrels already be seated and tappin’ fingers on tha table waitin’ for us. I did my best, yet again, ta convince these dense rock-headed elves tha’ someone was using their name ta corner the Queen an dominate the court back in their home. I was also sure ta mention how useless an weak they had become just sittin’ up here on their high horse an not even meetin’ ta work out issues. As soon as I finished, they broke out inta squabblin’ with each other like a whole nest of wharf rats fightin’ over a bloated seal corpse. We couldna get a word in edgewise until the crazy mage said somethin’ about he was tha one tha’ ordered us trapped in tha’ crazy bacon room! At tha’ comment, me giantest axe came whistlin’ down an lodged itself firmly in tha’ fancy table they all were sittin’ about, got their attention right fast it did! About tha’ time, Tsadok said somethin’ menacin’ into tha’ crazy mage’s ear (he’s good at sayin’ menacin’ things) an tha’ mage’s loony basket filled right up ta overflowin’ it did. He screamed out somethin’ about Alevra bein’ right an we all should be killed in tha next cataclysm. Then poof, his narrow butt disappeared right outta tha’ silly room.

When tha’ happened, tha rest of the Winter Council looked at each other as the color drained from their faces. HAH they really were pasty gits for a minute there, hah hah *cough cough* sorry there mate, no offence intended. They went screamin’ outta tha’ room hollerin’ for us ta follow them cause they feared tha’ simple-minded finger-wiggler had gone an pulled up tha spike, which is what was keepin’ all them nasty demons outta tha castle there as well, just ta mention tha’ little bit of information. We made it up ta where they be safe-guardin’ tha’ sacred iron spike just as the mage was yankin’ it up outta tha ground. Well if tha’ weren’t bad enough, as soon as he did it he started screamin’ and writhin’ on tha spot as his skin turned jet black an his hair turned white as cold steel in tha frozen mornin’ air. So, tha’ how they change… We had been wonderin’ how Alevra had managed ta hide her pale skin so long underground an against all tha Drow magic, now we know she didna have to because she straight changed her colors! Them elves get weirder by tha moment I tell ya, never trust ya one of them golden haired gits!

About that time, bwooop multiple nasty demons appear in tha room with no warnin’. Tha’ big pig-faced one from outside plopped Quilindra on the ground sayin’ he was a demon of his word, well weren’t we in for a big surprise. Just as blades an spells start swingin’, Quilindra sheds her skin and turns inta one sexy slinky winged succubus. She turned them evil black eyes at me an suggested tha’ I head downstairs ta let in all of her friends, an tha’ sounded like a right sensible idea ta me. Her demon magic ended up getting’ past me natural dwarven resistance an she charmed me right outta me socks, arrgh it were embarrasin’. I took two steps towards tha door when that elven cleric of the Wasp God also made a suggestion tha’ instead I go murder somethin’ an her suggestion seemed ta dominate my mind so I figured tha’ was a better idea than goin’ downstairs.

So I killed whatever it was tha’ was in front of me, an as soon as I finished tha’ then I remembered that beautiful demon lass wanted me ta go downstairs, so I shrugged my shoulders an headed downstairs again. But noooooo, tha cleric again yells at me ta find tha now Drow mage and get tha spike from him. She didna care tha’ he was invisible, she said ta find him so find him I did. About tha’ time, Tsadok steps through some dimensional door with our sorceress an rips tha invisibility right off tha’ poor drow, which happened ta be standin’ right next ta me giant sword… it didna end well for him between my steel and Maleeka’s spells.

Well, I found tha mage like tha lady said, so since I was done with her task I remembered again tha’ I was supposed ta head downstairs an open tha doors so I shouldered me blade an started headin’ downstairs. Out of the noise tha’ cleric wench yells at me again ta put tha spike back in tha right spot an tha’ there sounded like a right good plan, so I did what she asked an put tha spike back in tha hole in tha ground an bamm! All them demons poof evaporated away, poor Tsadok was fit ta be tied I tells ya. Anyway, I never did get tha’ door open, but I had to keep doin’ what tha’ cleric wanted for a good couple of weeks an tha’ were embarrasin’!

“…an there be I a’flying the skull and bones
the fearsome pirate Cap’n Rolfe I be!
Pass the rum an break them stones
a pile of gold and a pirates life for me…”

Bggglrlrgrlrlrllll whatcha be interruptin’ me singin’ for ya scurvy blackguard! I be famous for me singin’ says I, don’t go interruptin’ me when I be in full swing an so in tune. “OOOOOOOOOHHHH so pass the rum an hang tha lights…” Oh by tha briny gods lad what be ya goin’ on about that’s so important an old sailor can’t even finish his lively tune? What’s tha’? Ahhh well why didn’t ya say so in tha first place ya dolt, of course I be willin’ ta talk about me adventurin’ days. Was ya here last night? Ah tha’s great, I’ll just pick up where I left off then…

So after all tha’ runnin’ an fightin’ we finally got back ta our rightful place an time. We were a motley lookin’ group I can say, like tha rats runnin’ from tha bilge we was, but we lived an tha’s what be important for sure. We headed back ta tha elfy camp out there in tha woods hualin’ Shalelu and Kaerishiel between us as they’d had one heck of a day. As we dragged our sorry skins back inta camp we were greated with cheers an huzzahs all about for a change. While we was off huntin’ down them crazy dark-skins the war took a turn for tha better an the Drow seem ta have been routed. Evianna reported tha’ the evil ones were fleein’ in every direction and makin’ full ahead for their home towns. Of course it was because of us ya idiot, we was tha mighty heroes savin’ what couldn’t be saved an all tha’ silly stuff. Without us, them elves woulda lost everythin’, or so tha’s how I tell it.

I stole a quick glance at ole Tsadok there, an I could tell tha’ this turn of events really did not sit well with him. I was hopin’ ta sit around a fire and swap body counts with him, but tha news tha’ tha war was about over really spun him down inta a dark an foul mood. I’ve seen hurricanes tha’ didn’t have as many dark clouds across their face as tha’ orc did tha’ night. So I just left him ta his own thoughts, mostly as someone passed a beer stein before me face talkin’ about celebratin’ tha night away in our honor. Well lads, far be it from me ta turn down free ale an spirits, wouldn’t want ta offend our hosts now would we? Whatya say barkeep, one or two on tha house for this old war hero? OUCH OI there man, no need ta throw things at me, I was just askin’ by tha gods! I wish I could tell ya more about tha’ night, but I’m pretty sure I drank me memories right out of me head I did. I know I sang like a darlin’ song bird, capturin’ tha whole host with me wondrous vocal styling’s I did. I’d betcha even tha gods themselves pulled up a seat at tha table me songs were so beautiful. ‘Tis a shame I’ll never remember much more than tha’, it’s just one blur after tha’. I know Hured an our drunk monk joined in though, don’t let them tell ya any different.

I guess it was tha next mornin’ when Tsadok kicked tha table I had apparently chosen as me bed for tha night. I felt tha table shake, heard him snarlin’ at me, then the clinky and clashy of a pile of bottles an steins tha’ had fallen in a ring about me body. Almost like a holy halo of beer and wine, I told ya them gods showed up when I sang, an they left me tha good drinks as a gift for sure! It took me some doin’ ta wade out of tha’ pile of glass, but I made it I did. A big yawn, a big stretch, and a big burp an I was right as rain an ready for whatever Tsadok was on about. I noticed tha’ there were some folk about pickin’ up and slowly stashin’ away things gettin’ ready ta head back ta what I guessed would be Cryin’ Leaf. I gave tha’ orc the stink eye right then an there I did, as I had no intention of losin’ sleep ta pack up gear. He saw me look and nodded in a different direction an I caught sight of Evianna an a bunch of dressed up tree-hoppers headed inta her tent. Tsadok seemed a bit on edge even for him, an them elves had a air about them that said there be some business tha’ needed ta be handled, so I nodded back an gathered me wits about me. I also noticed a bit of ale left in a mug near me so I swilled it down, just ta cut the edge ya know.

Tha group gathered up in Evianna’s tent for whatever business was so important tha’ early in tha morning. I swear tha’ whole tent was very wobbly, it an everyone in it would not hold still at all, they all kept swayin’ from side ta side ta side ta side ta side ta side, over an over, back an forth, I had ta grab tha’ desk just ta keep them all still. I’ve never loved a table so much in me life boys, but tha’ table made life all better tha’ day it did. So I was only half payin’ attention, as I was still tryin’ ta work the drink outta me system from tha night before, an as Shalelu droned on an on it was getting’ harder ta keep on me feet. Then, in one eternal second, I heard some words pass her pasty elf lips tha’ sobered me right up and focused me whole world about her face. She said she wanted us ta become dark elf filth so we could infiltrate their home cities ta find out anythin’ we could about their weapon tha’ could pull down stars.

I didn’t care why, I didn’t care what, all I heard was tha’ they had some foul magics tha’ could actually infuse our own bodies with tha essence of a recently killed Drow, so tha’ we would become Drow. My reaction was immediate an I’m pretty sure they heard me yellin’ all tha way back in Riddleport. I’ve never been so insulted, degraded, an angry in all me life lads, before or since. How dare anyone suggest tha’ I look like one of them bark-biters, much less allow the essence of one be soaked inta me body. No no no no no lads, tha’ weren’t about ta happen ta good old Rolfe no sir. I swear even them long lived elves had never heard some of tha curses comin’ out of me tha’ day, I knows it cause I saw them lean over ta each other several times an ask what tha words meant.

Well of course Tsadok an Hured talked me inta it. I started ta get worried when I noticed Vors had slipped up behind me an had his black-jack slipped up in his hand. I scowled at the monk as I’m sure it were his idea ta mash me over tha head, he just whistled innocently an took a drink. Gods where does tha’ man hide all those bottles of booze he be constantly pullin’ from?? Anyway, I knew tha’ without me sea-blade there ta carve a path through whatever trouble they’d get themselves inta, then tha group woulda not gotten back alive. So I consented, hatin’ myself an everyone else around me for makin’ me do it, but if meant savin’ everyone from another massive end of tha world scenario then of course I was in.

I’ll never understand what magic was used tha’ day, but I could feel tha’ dead Drow’s menace and anger seethin’ through every part of me. I’m usually a very balanced and kind-hearted sorta dwarf, very go with tha flow ya might say, but tha’ elf suit made me want ta wipe all tha’ away an just start hackin’ up the fine folk about me. If tha’ tiny peek inta their mind be just a fraction of what they feel all day, then I certainly be understandin’ why they like killin’ so much. Those sea-harpies be some of tha angriest souls I ever did come across outside of tha hells mind ya.
So we get turned inta evil elf suits an one of tha group, probably Tsadok as he is always the military mind, suggests we spend some time learnin’ each other’s faces an whatnot so we don’t kill each other. So we spend an hour or so learnin’ what we looked like an getting’ used ta our new skins. After a while we go over our cover story, which is tha’ Kaerishiel an his rangers were chasin’ us down an we made it back ta tha portal just in time. In all tha confusion of a hundred rangers pourin’ through tha portal we’d slip away and get goin’, which is what happened. We jumped through tha portal and scooted away while tha fightin’ was heaviest, right inta tha arms of some alchemy merchant fella tha’ happened ta be wanderin’ by with his cart at just tha right moment.

He ended up givin’ us a tour as we wandered about the cavern headed up ta be presented ta tha ruling matriarch ta make sure we was ok. It took hours for us ta wind our way about tha roads and hills until we finally got ta tha right place. Keep in mind this was a cavern underground, but it stretched about a mile north an south and about half a mile east an west. This was a big place full of nasty, sharp, an spikey houses and gates built inta tha stone. One of tha scariest lookin’ under-halls I’ve ever been in, everythin’ was made ta poke or cut ya, nothin’ pretty about it just made with murderous intent. Ya could almost feel tha hatred oozin’ off ever inch of tha place.

Eventually we meet tha matriarch and get accepted inta tha fold thanks ta some fast talkin’ and willingness ta spill blood, much tha same as our normal day. All in all, it was a horrible day thanks for makin’ me talk about it. You know what, I needs some song to brighten up me night after all this drow talk! “OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH Pass the rum an hang the lights…..”

Huh? What be ye on about there Sparky? Aye, I’m tha great and famous Cap’n Coldforge tha’ ye be lookin’ for. Coldest heart tha’ ever set sail upon those beautiful blue waves out tha door there. Of course I have a ship, the Dancin’ Maiden docked out past the last berth there, fastest ship in port right now I swear it by me squinty right eye I does! No, I’m not takin’ any passengers right now, I’m in this hell hole of a port for some business of me own an not interested in any fares, so bugger off an leave an old sailor alone while I entertain these fine folk with a yarn or two about me days as an adventurer.

Now tha’ I have my beer (thank ya barkeep, ya be servin’ only the best ta me an my men) where did I leave off with me story last night? Oh aye, tha’ crazy walkin’ death machine with way too many arms an mouths an whatnots… So yeah tha’ thing died after Tsadok an I trimmed its branches back a bit. I can remember how tha room looked in tha flickerin’ light from tha’ crazy firebomb Vors smashed up against tha wall. There be three ancient stone doors starin’ back at us in the darkness; one door ahead an one standing at odd angles off ta either side of us. Not bein’ very creative types of adventurers, we decided ta just plow ahead inta tha’ center door an see what might be lurkin’ there. Ta my surprise tha door swung open rather easily, I were expectin’ ta have ta budge ‘n grudge it tha hard way. Ya know, just ta mention it now tha’ I think about it, them Elves don’t make a lick of sense. They be spendin’ hours an hours makin’ the finest gaudy baubles or decoratin’ a shield with spidery filigree so looks like real leaves adorn their armor, but they cannot put a buildin’ together to last any real length of time. Beautiful swords they can make, but their old city there had fallen apart at tha seams. A respectable dwarf city will last thousands an thousands of years lads, no matter how long it stays buried, but not an Elf city, not made ta last at all. So I was surprised when tha door slid right open on those hinges as quiet as can be.

Inside I nearly choked as a thick cloud of smoke hung in the air, so thick even with my ability ta see in tha dark I couldn’t see tha end of me nose! Ta make it even worse, there be a thick scent of decay and bile tha’ just clung ta everything an made ya want ta run out an toss yer mornin’s eatin’s right away. Somethin’ foul (HAH an as it turned out somethin’ FOWL, HAH oi I crack meself up I does) had made this room it’s home, an it was somethin’ nasty.

Tsadok, his military mind always on point an thinkin’ ahead, quietly snorted tha’ we should all stay very close as it were too dark an smoky ta see. Suddenly there be a flash off ta our left as some runes on tha ground lit up. Out of tha darkness a giant half-vulture-half-beastynastyugly rips inta us and starts rippin’ this way an tha’ with it’s sharp talons an beak. Hured shouted out tha’ it were a Vrock, as if tha’ helped me any. I wouldn’t know the word Vrock any more than I would know the nine Hells (at least back then, I knows the Hells pretty well these days) so I did whats I always does, put tha pointy end of me sea-blade inta the soft bits of whatever be standin’ before me. For such a smelly beast, it went down without much of a fight. Tsadok an I had gotten pretty in step after so much killin’ together, so we were able ta distract it an take advantage of tha openins back an forth until it fell.

What I can tell ya, is tha’ if’n it weren’t bad enough ta fight such a nasty and slimy baddy there in tha dark, it be ten times worse ta fight it when yer own cleric decides it be time ta call down tha wrath of his worshipfulness in tha middle of battle, only ta find out tha’ his god may not like yer own particular feelings about things. I don’t know what spell Hured called down, somethin’ about smitin’ his enemies an all tha’t holy clap-trap, all I know is tha’ whatever he cast nearly knocked me an Tsadok off our feet as well. Burned tha nasty right off me hide tha’ spell did, an I thinks he did it on purpose I does, ta make a point tha’ we needed ta change our ways an whatnot. In response, tha Vrock cast a spell (who knew giant scaly birdies had it in em ta cast magics… hrmm) an suddenly there be eight of him runnin’ about. It took us a while ta clear out tha extra mirror images, but it was sure a surprise fer this dwarf.

Tha’ nest room turned out ta be a dead end, so we turned about an headed back ta try them other two doors. Vors started pokin’ about an I heard a low whistle of respect escape his lips as he admired a trap tha’ was set by another expert. He tried explainin’ the intricacies an how many different ways it would have killed us, but me eyes just glazed over an he finally got ta tha point of deactivatin’ tha darn thing. We decided ta come back ta tha’ door as somethin’ really nasty might be behind it, which of course made Tsadok kick tha’ wall he was so frustrated knowin' there might be a nasty back there. In hindsight, I almost wish we woulda stayed with tha' door an not skipped ta the third door, as what I saw behind tha' third door will haunt me forever.

This may seem strange comin’ from me, especially because I haven’t been bashful in talkin’ about how I hates me them bark-biters, but no one deserves what them poor souls got. Tha door opened up ta a room about the size of this one here, without all tha tables and bar and whatnot. We barely had room ta open tha door it was so packed in with bodies. Bodies shackled ta tha wall, hangin’ from tha ceilin’ with tha arms wrenched out of their sockets, bodies on tha floor chained ankle ta ankle ta iron rings in tha floor. The dark breed had captured these poor souls, tormented and tortured them, then left them all ta rot in that hell. Everythin’ was covered with their own blood an feces covered by layers of dirt and sweat. Tha bad part is it looked like they had made it up until tha’ very day, until them heartless drow walked through and slit every throat from ear ta ear just before we started our assault on tha buildin’. They died badly friends, badly indeed, and though I’ll not be one ta shed a tear for any elf tha’ dies in battle with me blade, never would I wish for or allow tha’ sort of death ta be tha end of them. On tha’ Tsadok an I certainly agree.

Shouldering through all tha’ dead elf flesh, we found a doorway tha’ led ta another room beyond it. Tha’ room had a big pool of water in tha center with raised seatin’ like an amphitheater on either side of it. Now, I be an expert on all tha things tha’ water be able ta do, an it were sloshin’ about left an right all on its own there in a certainly non-natural way. So bein’ the observant one I made sure tha rest of me mates knew what was what. I guess they had already seen it for themselves as tha smirks and glances tha’ fired back in me direction all but screamed out “NO KIDDING?!?”. Bein’ tha expert on water, I approached tha pool an two giant water elementals sprung right up an screeched at me. I wouldna have known what they were sayin’ but me darling Sea-Blade there helps me ta understand tha water speech, doesn’t help me speak it, but helps me get the gist of what gets barked at me. Them two waves were all accusin’ me an tha group of keepin’ them captive in tha’ pool forever an for torturin’ them. Obviously they had tha wrong bunch of honorable people, but since no one could tell them tha’, well tha’ only left tha one option of forceful diplomacy. Sadly for them sea-critters, me trusty blade there gives me a huge advantage when on the opposin’ side to Aquans. Tha’ fight didn’t last long, nor did it end in their favor as ya can see.

We searched about an found that again this room led to nowhere, so we turned about again an squeezed past all them dead soldiers tryin’ not ta get too much git-blood on us. That only left tha one door with tha super trap Vors had already disabled. It would seem tha’ Vors is more than just yer run of the mill gambler, he also seems handy with other “tools of the trade” as he calls em. He had just bent and inserted his picks inta tha door when Tsadok (having decided tha’ this process was taking entirely too long) roared as he crashed his armored bulk right inta tha crease between tha doors. Vors nearly lost an eye as them picks came flyin’ right back outta tha’ door at him.

Them doors crash open an we pile inta tha room expectin’ a fight as we’d clearly heard voices an tha sounds of troops in here. Instead we found a room tha’ looked like it hadn’t been touched by tha ages. Gleaming white marble, gold runes in tha walls, fancy hangin’ light racks full of tha brightest candles ya ever saw, it were amazin. An ta top it off, sittin’ just as pretty as ya please on this little stool over next ta another pool of water was this little elf lady spirit thing. She was a yappin’ on about bein’ trapped here throughout tha ages by evil Drow magics and whatever, let her rot says I in a loud voice, but no tha group was just heartbroken for tha’ poor pointy-eared snake. All ya have ta do is get my magic leaf from tha pond right there and I’m free she says. Again, I assert tha’ she can get it herself if’n it’s so important, but Tsadok gives me these eyes tha’ look like a puppy dog just got run over by tha milk cart, all bubblin’ up with tears and eye-slime he was, so I sighed and dragged my feet over ta tha edge. At tha’ point, all up was down and right was left as suddenly tha biggest catfish ya have ever seen exploded outta tha water and tried ta gulp me down like a furry dwarf snack. Tentacles were a’whippin’ about smackin’ everyone anywhere armor wasn’t coverin’ it’s bulk slammin’ against us up front, an tha smell made me want ta cough up me stomach an walk right away.

Again though, my Sea-Blade just started singin’ in me head and I was beltin’ out tha best of them shanties I love so much as I went ta work on tha’ big fish. Everyone was helpin’ an I don’t think they noticed when tha’ thing almost got in me dwarf noggin an convinced me tha’ they was tha enemy. Lucky for them when I get angry it gets a lot harder ta convince me ta change me mind, but tha’ fish-fellow there certainly had a convincin’ story ta tell. Anyway I shook it off and we all had a hand in guttin’ him and dispellin’ tha illusion he/she/it had created about the elf-lass an the nice an clean room. Once it died, tha room went right back ta bein’ in tha shambles tha’ everything else was in.

Vors popped open tha’ door in tha back of tha room just in time ta see a bunch of dark-breeds draggin’ Shelalu and Kaerishumpy inta some swirly-whirly portal. We fought a bunch of Drow tha’ were very keen not ta let us inta tha’ portal, an some of them were even competent with a blade, but mostly we just heroically swept them aside an went after Shelalu inta tha portal. I had ta teach this one tall muscular dark-blood what it really meant ta be a barbarian. He thought tha’ just cause he had a big sword and wore light armor he was good enough ta stand toe ta toe with tha likes of me, pahshaw he had that wrong idea. Tsadok even stepped around him ta make sure we weren’t interrupted in our greatsword duel, and in tha end, I split tha’ dirty mouth-breather from tops ta tails with me favorite move, I calls it “Tha Tsunami”! Some day when yer strong enough I’ll shows it ta ya lad. I swear on tha Great Forge had it just been Kaerishupper I woulda turned right back and let his carcass get what it deserved, but dangit Shelalu had ta go an get herself captured too, so I had ta go help her.

At that point, things started ta happen tha’ I just flat don’t understand. If ya ever track down Malika she can give ya a class on whether we travelled through time or ta some pocket dimension or whatever, it’s all beyond me. All I know is we ended up in a place tha’ looked like Celwynvian before tha StarFall. The elves were there, but they were just apparitions tha’ ya could poke an they’d disappear for a few seconds then reappear havin’ forgotten anything they just did. It was bizarre, an most of it didn’t make sense ta me. We ran around tha town a lot, asked a lot of tha not-there elves if they had seen tha Drow and then ran around some more. Finally thought we had tracked them down in some fancy-shmancy buildin’ across the town, an instead ran inta that stinkin’ Razorhorn dragon tha’ we’d been lookin’ for. I wish ya could’ve heard Tsadok shoutin’ his praises an thanks ta Gorum for tha chance ta fight tha’ big lizard. I think he was all rainbows and unicorns for weeks afterwards just cause he got ta lay his blade ta dragon flesh for tha first time. It was all hands on deck ta fight tha’ evil monster, but in tha end, Tsadok’s Fang-blade was tha last stroke as he severed it’s big head from tha rest of him. Or her, I guess, I never checked it’s dragon underbits ta see if it were a he or a she, I just assumed it were a him all these years but I really don’t know.

Right after Razorhorn fell, we took a moment ta let the battle fatigue wash over us while Hured administered some words of healin’ upon us. Gorum must have been pleased with Tsadok as even he was able ta pass around some channeled heals on our weary bunch. We had grown accustomed ta our monk spouting off a litany of things we’d done wrong after every battle, but even he was looking a little worse for wear after that fight. Not to mention, I am pretty sure I saw smoke or steam comin’ waftin’ up off of Malika’s fingers she had been slingin’ so many spells. All of us were about out of resources, but we knew we had ta push on.

We ran up a long long long staircase ta this room that had giant planets an stars floatin’ around on wires and whatnot, it looked like some kind of galaxy or somethin’ all modeled up ta be studied. There were some mages waitin’ for us usin’ Shelalu and Kippypants there as bait. I flung myself at tha closest one before he was really able ta get any spells off, but his friends sure did scorch my hide before me mates made it up them last stairs. It worked out though, tha group split up ta tackle the three little mages while we figured out how ta handle the big guy floatin’ around tha room. I remembered them bows I’d picked up from tha’ crazy elf-corpse zombie thing and in me last few moments of rage, was able ta muster tha strength ta use tha bow ta plant arrows solidly in that mage’s frail body. Arrow after arrow followed right inta his chest, as it turned out I seem ta had quite the affinity for archery, and I finally brought him down after what felt like an eternity.

As ya can see, we escaped outta there an made it back ta our rightful time, once again avoiding all kinds of death an mayhem tha’ seems ta follow us around like a hungry cat. An tha’ wraps us me story for tonight lords an ladies, I’ll be back tomorrow night with tha next installment, should ya happen ta be about. So I’ll see ya then!

Oi shove-off barkeep, this old adventurer not be botherin’ anyone in yer fine house of spirits sir! I paid me gold, now let me an these fine princes of men (even though they be human) be while we enjoyin’ our drinks and pass about tall tales of tha old days. Those days were glorious I tell ya, I used ta be quite the adventurer ya know, before I took tha’ old arrow ta tha knee. Ruined my career it did, but tha’ be another tale for another day.

What’s tha’ ya ask, what happened ta old Vors the Gambler? Tha luck was with him tha’ night for sure gents, tha’s for sure. I carried his carcass all tha way back ta tha’ silly dew-drinker camp, had him slung over my shoulder like a sack of flour I did. Truth be told, most of tha heavy parts of him had been lopped off by them critters in tha dark, so he really wasn’t all that heavy. Methinks the worst part was how sore my feet were after runnin’ all that way in my killin’ boots. If’n I remember right, I had ta soak me dogs in a bucket of goat milk for 3 hours ta fix tha’ run I did. Thankfully Hured followed me as I ran, it was nice ta know that I had a bit of support should I run inta any more dirty shadow elves.

I almost fell as tha basecamp came inta view as I could immediately tell tha’ there had been a terrific battle here while we was out doin’ Eviana’s bidding. Nasty business tha’ fight must have been boys, cause things didn’t look like a normal fight. Now you boys haven’t seen proper fightin’ yet, either yer too young or too rich ta have spent time in the trenches, but these kind of battles have a certain look ta them. Limbs get hacked off in certain ways, bodies lay certain ways, there is just a look ta tha battlefield after it’s all said an done. This was different.

Tha first thing was that there were no dead Drow anywhere, all of their dead had been carried off. Tha bloodstains were there and wicked looking blades with tha’ nasty green ichor slathered all over laid about as evidence. Mostly though, there were many of the pasty leaf-eaters pinned ta tha walls an the ground by many, many, many wicked poisoned arrows tha’ looked way too big ta come from normal bows. Also, tha slashes on tha corpses were small. There be a lot of them, lots of clean and small cuts all over each an every body, like someone went crazy with some of tha sharpest daggers ya’d ever seen in yer life. Carts were laying on their sides, tents were on fire, it were just pure chaos lads, and it smelled even worse.

After takin’ all tha’ in, I ran for the healer’s tents in tha back of tha camp. As I ran up, Eviana was there and even she had felt the sting of a dirty dark-breed blade or two as her arm was wrapped in bloody bandages while she directed the recovery efforts. Now, I gotta say, sometimes the elves go too far. Even her bandage was made of silk, had golden threads weaved into tha linings, an had pretty little images of no less than four differn’t leaves inked inta tha fabric… I mean really guys? Believe me when I tell ya, them silly bark-munchers live so long they even have time ta make them bandages look all fancy an whatnot. Alls I could do was shake my head and try not ta say anything nasty as I needed a favor.

I pushed right past all them silly saplings, shouldering more than a couple right out of their boots, an laid Vors right at her feet. I summoned up all tha niceties and polite wordings tha I know and quietly (although I’m sure it were full of menace) but firmly suggested tha’ she make Vors be not dead. Hured says it sounded more like a rockslide shouting “BRING HIM BACK” but I’m sure his memory isn’t all tha’ great, him being human an all. NO INSULT INTENDED, no insult intended lads I know you be human as well, but by the Forge ya be a short lived race an often ya forget the details. Put yer blades away an have another drink, sheesh ya be a sensitive lot tonight.

Eviana pointed around me at tha piles of dead gits layin’ about an said she’d not be able ta do much for us. Tha’ old elf sure did change her tune fast enough once I handed over Vors fancy dancin’ sword in trade though. Ya know that thing would stand right up on it’s own and fight whatever ya told it ta? Durndest thing I ever saw. He didn’t use it much though, he preferred tha’ crazy hatchet he loved so much, but tha’ worked out just right as rain so I didn’t feel bad tradein’ it in fer his soul. Eviana found one of her better finger-wigglin’ mages an had him teleport back ta their big home town ta gather tha materials an whatever it be they use when makin’ magic. Normally I be a firm believer in steel always bein’ tha answer, but steel cannot bring a soul back ta life, so this time I had ta admit magic was a good thing ta have about.

Later tha’ night tha’ mage returned and Eviana got some of her folks to bring Vors back. Ya’d think tha’ it was a pretty complicated thing, gettin’ a soul back from tha underworld. Turns out it were only like 15 words and a pretty shiny rock an poof, back in business. Proves what I always say, greed is tha most powerful force in tha universe. Wave tha’ shiny diamond about an the Gambler would even come back from him grave ta get a chance at it! Vors looked pretty worse for wear after his trek from the underworld an all, an one of them pointy-eared clerics restored him a bit, but they said that even with their help he’d still be off his game for at least another week or two an they’d try again then. Either way, I slapped Vors on tha back and made sure he was ok before I yelled at him fer bein’ so stupid an runnin’ inta such a fight without me! It’s my job ta get hit in tha face, not his, but it sure was good knowin’ he was back as he be one solid mate ta have in a fight. Knows how a man’s spine comes apart nice an clean he does, like slicin’ up turkey dinner he’s so precise.

Anyway, back ta my story. Eviana gives us tha rest of that day off as she has ta make sure tha camp be defended an she was ta wait ta hear back from the other leaders ta see what tha next move might be. Tsadok looked like someone had kicked him in the softy-bits (if orcs have softy-bits, that be one thing I’m not so sure about) when Eviana told him to rest. Gorum has tha’ guy wrapped up so tight ta fight ya’d think he was full of bow-string on tha inside. He kept mutterin’ about blood tha’ needed spillin’ and guts tha’ needed ta see daylight an him bein’ stuck fixin’ stupid elf fences like a farmer. I swear tha’ stress vein in his forhead be shaped like a sword, an it were a poundin’ all day while he fumed about not fightin, it were a funny day.

After a couple of hours, this elf runner sprinted past our tent like a merchant’s yacht ridin’ the tide back ta port. There was a bunch of shoutin’ and yellin’ in elvish about Kaerishishishakiel or whatever bein’ in trouble an needin’ a rescue. Now, as far as this humble dwarven sailor was concerned, Kaekypoo there could rot in his own juices out there in tha ruins for all I cared. I couldn’a help but smirk as I listened ta the runner an many of tha elfy soldiers plead with Eviana ta send a detachment ta save him. She told them over an over she had no one ta spare as all bodies were needed ta secure tha camp against another attack. A sense of dread started ta grow in my belly like the stink of dead rats after a 3 month sail as things got real quiet and suddenly I heard the pitter-pat of cutesie elven booties runnin’ up ta our tent. I swore under my breath as tha runner beckoned ta us demandin’ tha’ we run to Eviana’s tent right away! Tsadok leapt right up and was out tha’ door like he had been shot out of a ballistae, I wasn’t as motivated.

Long story short, Kaerishiel, in his infinite wisdom as a military leader, had gotten himself pinned down in some old ruined towers deep in the city an was in danger of gettin’ hisself killed because of his incompetence. Eviana begged us ta save him, let him rot says I, but good ole’ Tsadok was spoilin’ for any chance ta get out of camp and kill somethin’ so he jumped right in volunteerin’ us all ta run right out an save his arse. So of course we all suited back up an headed out ta retrieve tha’ idiot elf.

We got out ta tha spot without any trouble, we avoided a couple of scoutin’ parties, but tha was about it. We could tell right away tha’ Kookyrot there was in dire straights. He an what was left of his group were holed up in this old tower tha’ was two waves shy of fallin’ down on them anyway. Them dark-breeds were in this other much nicer an fancier tower down tha way to tha south of them. Between tha towers was this killin’ field full of dead bodies so full of arrows it looked like the grasslands had grown up out here all blowin’ in tha wind and whatnot. So much blood had seeped inta tha ground it were like walkin’ in a marsh, tha ground was all spongy an muddy. I glanced at Tsadok an he was just a’grinnin’ from ear ta ear as he focused on tha dark ones tha’ stood guard outside tha southern tower. It was a fair run from our spot in tha trees ta tha’ door, an the archers millin’ about on tha second floor were gonna get plenty of shots at me soft sensitive spots as we would have ta charge through open ground ta get ta them. Oh well, it’s what they make armor for isn’t it?

So we all run at tha tower like a bunch of younglings runnin’ for dinner, an of course them black-hearted gits rained shots down on us from above. Tha only smart one of us was Malika, she let us run ahead as a distraction while she hid in tha crumblin’ remains of a third tower and lobbed magic glowin’ arrows over our heads. Tha fightin’ was close quarters and vicious, as ya’d expect with these crazy beasts. I was right about them blades: sharp, fast, and covered with more of tha’ stupid green an black poison. One of em again got a lucky shot in around my breastplate, but I swear I felt tha’ charm bracelet tha’ nice horse barbarian guy with tha horses gave me get white hot for a second and I was fine again. I was right in tha thick of it lads, an it were glorious! These devil-eyed monsters knew their way about a sword an weren’t afraid ta try an poke holes in my sails for sure! Hured was dancin’ all over tha’ battle singin’ tha praises of the Wanderin’ Hero and askin’ fer his blessings and healin’ powers, it were a wonderful time. Eventually we did what we do best, killed em all an saved tha day yet again.

Kaerishiel was able ta come out of hidin’ an I know it just grated him somethin’ awful knowin’ it was us tha’ had ta come an pull his pointy-eared butt outta tha flames. I’m sure it still bites him like hot coals on his soft and well kept elven feet tha’ he had ta thank us in public fer fixin’ his mess. Tha’ alone was worth tha trip, killin’ elves was just bonus.

What’s that? What was them Drow doin’ up in tha tower? How should I know boy, do I look like a tactician or some kind of book-readin’ magic-itian-person tha’ can just read minds? As far as fightin’ is concerned, I let folks like Tsadok or Saru worry about strategizin’ an whatnot, they just make sure tha stuff tha’ needs diein’ ends up near tha space tha’ tha end of me trusty blade will be in. I takes it from there. I don’t much worry about the large scale sorts of ideas, I just handle me own space on the battlefield an let tha rest come ta me.

Of course Kaerishiel was welcomed back with all kinds of hootin’ an hollerin’ from his boys, I guess them elves really liked him. Not a word was said about how it was us that let him keep his pale skin where it was, but we did our job and maybe earned some favor from the Elven gods along way, savin’ one of their favored sons or whatever. We patched ourselves up, cleaned up our gear an headed back ta tha tents ta get some much-needed shuteye before whatever we’d be facin’ tha next day.

A runner dragged us outta our beds well before the sun even had tha good sense to open his eyes so we could be included in tha battle plans for tha day. Tha plan was ta attack this academy building deep in Drow territory in this sort of three-pronged attack. Shalelu and Kaekeater-ishiel would each lead a group around back of this big buildin’ an scale up tha back while some hapless group of idiots got stuck playin’ decoy stormin’ tha front gates out in tha open… Tha’s right, this hapless group of idiots got stuck with tha’ brilliant plan. I was hoppin’ up an down waving my arms and shoutin’ ta be heard, voicin’ my objections, but these tall elves kept just steppin’ in front of me so no one could see me! Chargin’ the front gates, really? Of course, as I looked about me at what was left of Eviana’s “army”, even for a race tha’ always looks young, these soldiers looked more like saplings playin’ at soildierin’ rather than a presentable army. I guess tha’ if there was a group there tha’ had any chance of strollin’ up ta tha front gates and knockin’ all polite as you please and makin’ it back out alive, well it would be us. Alls I could do was hang me head and make peace with good Father of the Forge an pray for a glorious death so he’d reuse me when makin’ the next round of dwarves.

Now, bein’ ambushed an scrappin’ fer yer lives be one thing, yer blood be pumpin’ in yer veins an all ya can think about is rippin’ his throat out before he does it ta you! But starin’ down tha valley, lookin’ at an armed force ready an waitin’ to repel all boarders, well tha’ there be somethin’ totally different. All tha different things tha’ might happen play through yer mind while you be tryin’ ta keep yerself from runnin. Keepin’ tha’ fear bundled up an hidden down deep knowin’ any one lucky shot might be tha last, it makes for a tough few minutes before everythin’ starts kickin’ off. HAH BOY! You have no fear?? Then I says ya’ve never been in a real fight other than scrappin’ with yer infant brothers fer room at yer mother’s teet! Every warrior, except may Tsadok tha’ spent his days tryin’ ta find new ways ta get inta battle, knows fear before a battle. Even if ya have no fear for yer own death, a real warrior fears tha’ he might make a mistake an get his mates killed. Ya may not be worried about yer soul after ya die, but ya should always fear how yer death leaves a hole in the wall, a hole tha’ might let the tide sweep away all yer companions. Think on tha’ ya snotty little imp before ya speak up ta tha likes of me like tha’ again. The wrap on this sword handle has seen more bloodshed in tha last decade than you’ll likely see in yer whole life. Show some respect.

While we were standin’ there in tha pre-dawn hours, waitin’ for the signal to attack, I was so intent upon goin’ over my plans and seein’ the possibilities in me mind tha’ I only barely noticed tha’ Malika had started weavin’ her hands in front of her an mutterin’ arcane symbols with furious focus. She was concentratin’ so hard beads of sweat had sprung up on her brow as she made sure tha’ every single word came out right. There’s no shame in admittin’ I almost stained my trousers as a giant ball of fire burst inta life over my head with a roar! I stared in wonder as tha’ big ball of doom flew overhead and zoomed towards them evil guys down tha way. I turned an looked back at Malika, askin’ when she had picked up tha’ little gem of a spell, an all she would do is smile and put her finger ta her lips.

What I was not so happy about, is after tha fireball landed and wreaked havoc on those dark-breeds, one of them also knew tha same spell and flung it back at us. Luckily, we were hero enough ta avoid tha worst of tha’ could of done ta us, but still it rattled me ta know tha’ this was a whole different class of bad guy!

We were able ta wrap up tha outside defenders with little effort, a few scrapes and cuts but otherwise, the fireball did its job very well. On the inside however, was something very different. It was very large and looked like it was a pile of elven corpses all stuck together and moving. There were many hands holding several longbows firing at a rapid pace, firing arrows tha size of oxen. Only Tsadok an I were really able to handle tha fight as no one else in tha group could see in tha pitch black of the cavern. Our friend tha monk took one of those giant arrows to the chest an it nearly pinned him ta tha wall behind him. We brought tha monster down, but tha’ was one mean monster!