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Gorum snorts in derision. "Those cowards are using fancy magics to fool us. Just ignore them for now; it's sound and light, nothing more."
Some time in the middle of the night, Guligak nudges Jon and signals to the rest. "I'm going to take a look inside the palace now. Want to come along? I'm going to say I have important business inside."
Guligak follows the rest of the group, off to the battlements presumably. "Just remember -- any excuse we can find to get a peek inside the place, we take it. I bet I can boss around anyone I find, in case they ask why we're there." He gives his most menacing grin.
Guligak picks his nose and wipes it on his cloak.
"We spend one day playing soldier, then use the tunnel after we've had a look around."
To Jon: Spoiler:
"Let's look around, then leave once we have a rough idea of what the building looks like." Guligak shrugs. "Fine by me. The chance of fighting is better than no chance of fighting."
"Yeah," growls Guligak, "I'm not going to be paid to be a walking target for cowardly archers!"
Guligak is slightly disappointed that imminent mayhem wasn't mentioned by the guard, but he moves along in good humour as well.
Guligak smiles, showing his cracked and broken teeth to the guard. "I've been here almost one day already, and I haven't cut anyone's head off. My sword is getting restless. Maybe your boss can pay me, and I can cut off the heads of some Andorens, yes? Andoren heads are as good as any others. They all make the same sound when they hit the ground."
"I think Jon's idea is wise; we should see what the inside of the palace looks like in the day before we invade it at night."
Guligak shrugs. "I'll try to get a job. Hopefully the baron's guards do more fighting than we've been doing so far. I haven't punched anyone in the face all day!"
"Excellent idea Guli, shall we kill the dog handler as well?, leave a trail of death in our sneaking..." Guligak grins. "See? I have taught you a lot so far! Just yesterday you were talking about attacking a pile of sand, and now you are making good suggestions! I was just planning on killing the dogs, but killing Shenk is O.K., too."
Guligak rolls his eyes. "It's simple. We kill the dogs. If you want silence while we kill, Gorum can give us silence."
Guligak smiles. "Yup. We met the baron's nephew, Bumbo. He's a good man, but there's something wrong with his head. He tried to trick us, though; he pretended to not know anything about swords, but he didn't fool me. Maybe someone cast a spell on him."
"That depends. Did those children and cripples insult me? Because that's asking for a boot to the head. That's how the weak learn to respect the strong."
Guligak snorts. "Don't listen to him. If you feel like punching someone, go ahead! Gorum will smile on you."
heir of righteousness
"He says I'm an im-bee-cile. What does that mean anyway?" Guligak shrugs. "Who cares? If you want to insult someone, a punch to the face says more than any fancy words."
Guligak; As you watch the young man swing the sword, something in your gut tells you that there's something more at work here. You definitely get the feeling that he's faking ineptitude with the sword. "Hmmm...not bad, but I'm sure you could do much better. MUCH better." He takes back his sword. "I don't know if meeting your uncle would be useful. Does he like to help people out? Does he like to fight? What do you think about him? Do you like him or not?"
"I like you guys! We're best friends!" Bumbo leans in to hug the both of you, squeezing you with his thin arms. "Where did you come from, anyway?" "I come from the land of ice and snow, where men are men! But now I am exiled down here with my wives and my 5 sons until I can raise an army. Then I can return and smash my enemies." "Hmmm...do you think your uncle the baron could help me? He must have a powerful army. I could make you my general! Have you ever used a sword?" Guligak offers Bumbo the use of his sword and points to a nearby stump. "Try chopping that stump over there. Let's see how you handle a real man's weapon!"
Guligak grunts. "So your uncle is a baron, huh? I wish I was a baron. Then I could have fifty wives giving me strong sons -- like you, Bumbo -- and if anyone from Cheliax or Andoran tried to tell me what to do, I'd chop him up and stick his head on a pike!"
Dreyxor is a grumpy old man." "Who is Dreyxor? Some rich guy? Does he know the Baron?" Guligak doubts that he can get much info from this bozo, but he gamely tries anyways.
Guligak nods. "I will look after your dog. I am good with animals."
Guligak continues to smile and says nothing.
"'Gak and I are too likely to scare off someone opening their door." "Sometimes scaring people is handy. And fun, too. You should try it some time." Guligak smiles at pleasant memories of making other clansmen soil their britches.
Guligak shakes his head. "Not hungry now, maybe later."
At Guligak's yelling, the man in the yellow cape stops banging on the kennel and smiles. "I not Dog-Man! Me Bumbo!"
"Hail, Bumbo. Who is Shenk? Does he sell dogs? I might buy one of your dogs: how do they taste?"
"YEAH! STUPID DOGS BE QUIET!" Guligak hollers helpfully. "HELLO, DOG-MAN! YOUR DOGS ARE NOT VERY BRAVE, I THINK. I, GULIGAK, CAN HOWL LOUDER AND LONGER THAN THEY CAN! DO YOU WORK AT THE PALACE?" he continues to shout.
Guligak howls back at the dogs, trying to be twice as loud and intimidating. Froth flies from his lips and his eyes roll alarmingly. He whirls his sword threateningly at the pack as well.
"Yup; ask him yourself if you don't believe me. I didn't see any other signs around town, but I didn't look that hard. Maybe Smaar knows."
As soon as the meal is over, Guligak practically drags the others to Smaar's blacksmith shop. Once they're there, he points out the ribbon-and-mistletoe sign by the shop's door.
"Well, we're not working for Dolp anymore. He cut us loose, a merchant doesn't need guards if he can't travel. We'll need to find work in town til this blows over." "Not that boss," Guligak grunts enigmatically. "Smaar will tell you himself after I'm done eating."
"The prices were good. Turns out he's a friend of the boss..."
"Ah, the new shield, to replace the one you...yes, it's lovely!" Paellat says, "very dangerous looking." "It'll be dangerous to someone, by Gorum!" Guligak opines. "But bigger is better." He slaps his tower shield affectionately.
"Bah! I've been walking around earning my keep while you soft southerners are resting in this flophouse? Bring me beer and meat, and I will tell you about my new shields. Smaar the blacksmith made them. After you eat, you should go see his wares too." Guligak nods knowingly.
Buckets, Bellows & Beyond
Spoiler:
"Hm. We'll keep this place in mind when we need to make any secret plans.
I still think it would be easier to challenge this Baron to single combat and slay him myself, but I think he is too much of a coward to agree." He gives Smaar a bone-crushing handshake, pays for his new tower shield, and leaves, looking for his cohorts. Guligak wanders the town, looking for signs of the others, bellowing their names from time to time.
Buckets & Bellows
Spoiler: Guligak grins. "My friends and I have been paid by your friends to see the Baron. You don't need to know what happens after that.
Do you know any way we might get close to him? I'd like to have my sword handy, too."
Buckets and Bellows
Spoiler: Guligak puts his sword away and grunts with approval at the new shield. "Hmm. Looks good. But what's it made out of? Among my people, we say that mistletoe has magic that can help out in a fight. Have you ever heard of this saying?" His eyes flicker towards the ribbon stuck in his armour.
"And how much is the shield?"
Spoiler: "Hail, Smaar! I am Guligak, angekok of Gorum. May your weapons be always dripping with the gore of your foes!" He slams his mailed fist into his battered breastplate.
"I care nothing for my shield. It just needs to keep me safe from cowards, assassins and elves until I can sink my sword into their bowels." He begins to draw his sword by way of demonstration...
Guligak makes sure his mistletoe-and-ribbon signal is discreetly wedged into a crack in his armor as he enters the blacksmith shop. "I need a shield, as big as you can make one!" he hollers. "A gang of trolls are gnawing on my old one."
"I will go smash down the castle gates with my bare hands. Ha ha, I make a joke. I think I will walk around the town and look for ribbons. And maybe buy a new shield." He glowers at the indignity.
Guligak wolfs down whatever food is set in front of him without pausing to taste it. He belches loudly, removes his armor, and falls asleep until it's time for his watch.
During Guligak's watch, he'll keep Light spells cast on a few pebbles and hide them in his pocket.
Guligak shrugs. "Gorum will decide. Not the general, not you, not even me. My loyalty is to Our Lord in Iron, not a soldier with a bag of gold."
The fighting spirit has been sucked out of Guligak for the moment. He's willing to leave with his tail between his legs, a disgrace to Gorum.
Guligak ignores the crack about his missing shield and trudges along beside Jon, greatsword at the ready.
Guligak is unceremoniously hauled to the surface. "Pallaet, I owe you a debt. I will not forget what you did for me today, and by Gorum I mean to pay you back! Now let's leave this s***hole filled with traitorous, cowardly trolls who refuse to fight like men." Guligak is still filled with rage, but it's directed mostly at himself.
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