Grofo Metabi's page

It just an idea but an e-mail including a tracking number or one added to order history would be nice especially for large orders from the website of items other than subscriptions.

It's fun seeing where your order bops along the country on the way to you.

And yes, I don't have a life beyond work, chores, reading, housework, D&D, and my dog. Why would I want one.? Those that I know that have one have a spouse that won't let play any more or no time due kids, and/or their probation officer(for DUI and/or assualting the Blackjack/poker dealer after they lost everything gambling including the house). And/or their kids' probation officer also for DUI. Hmm..., hereditary problem, ya think?

Um, when are you going to have HUGE and Large Red Dragons along with beholders in stock again?

Using My niece's stuffed Clifford dog just doesn't give the right feel for the encounter. That and it is about as big as my Labrador thought it does make my buddy's 14yr. old nephew the right scale for his character if he kneels(Sad, 14yrs. all of 4.5 feet his sister is 6 and taller than he is, scrawny/mouthy and speends much time upside down in trash cans in high school). And using a Landshark(bulette) with red construction paper wings taped on is bit goofy looking.

GODZILLA vs. BARNEY
Barney: "Hi, my name is Barney the Purple Dinasour!
So, you are Godzilla, King of the monsters.
Why do they call you that? I love you!
Do you love me? What buy my products?"

Godzilla: Back glows brightly with electricy arcing all over.
"GRONK! (the bell like roar)" INHALES DEEPLY.
Exhales out a massive stream of highly
RADIOACTIVE FIRE BREATH WEAPON!
INSTANT BBQ-ED Barney. :)

Championship Desparate Housewife Mud or baby oil wrestling
the utlimate sweeps week episode.

Mouthy, bratty kids vs. Darth Vader
Spanked by the force anyone?

GODZILLA vs. THE ENERGIZER BUNNY
Maybe we finally off that wabbit!

The PUNISHER vs. Superman
Krypton bullets and claymore mines anyone?

Hillary Clinton vs. Al Queda
Just make sure Bill PO-ed badly 1st! <JK>

A .357 magnum armed mugger vs. OJ Simpson w/ a golf club
{Actually this has already happened for real.}
{Once the mugger realized it wa Oj, he ran for his life}
{surrendered to the nearest police officer and once }
{told his story and it was confirmed, he was placed in}
{near permanant protective custody by police in Florida!" Apparently anything less than a .44 mag is not enough gun vs. OJ!}

Dirty Harry one more time vs. any villian
"GO AHEAD Mr. Eastwood, Make OUR DAY!"

Chyna female wrestler vs. Janet Reno in DEATHMATCH

anyone else have any ideas?

In my case in was way back in 1985 or 1986 during or shortly after high school with my younger brother a mixed group of friend play a AD&D 1ST EDiton game (about 10 of us) in one of the classic modules.

A buddy of ours, Ralph (who due to his parachute pants & funky boot was always an elven fighter or ranger with elven boots & elven cloak, Ralph wasn't very bright or swift on the uptake, not stupid just lacking common sense GOD gave a chipmunk. He never did understand why he got arrested for trying to marry a 15 year old when he was 23. DOH!), got lucky after one combat and got a vorpal blade long sword. Mage ID-ing it explain he should never use it against undead. To which Ralph the HORROR Film fan extrodinaire honestly replied, "Um what's an undead?"

Everyone eyes open wide as Yuri and my Brother Keith both exclaimed, "You can't be serious? Are you?"

Ralph, "Yes, what are undead?"

Keith, "Um, Pat should we tell me or will you?"

I peered up from behind my DM yellow DM screen from reading a magic item description to the party's mage, swiviled my head backa forth like a Terminator scanning targets, locked in on Ralph, and began to smile very wide and evilly. LIke a Red Dragon who just had his combo meal of dinner and loot delivered to his lair and shook my "NO!", "Let him learn he should know that already."

ALL the while Yuri was exclaiming; "OH CRAP! Pat's smiling. The DM is SMILING! DAMN IT all to *(*%(% Ralph, you made the DM happy, never made them happy unless it with a pizza, a hot chick they like, new dice, or all of the above. We are so in trouble!"

Jeff H, "Dang it! WE are going to die. He is already rollign dice."

Next encouter out of town was with a LARGE mixed group of skeletons and zombies. Elvis Ral alph(Ralph the elven super ranger w/ vorpal blade in hand) charges.

DM: You have initiative vs. zombies.

Ralph: "OK. I roll a 20, a natural 20. with my 18/00 strength and now double damage and looky and Rolled max damage. 1d8+6(str)+3(V blade enchantment so that's 17 times 2 is 34 points. CRUNCH! right?"

Party in background: "GROAN! Here is comes!"

DM(with a straight face follow by a grin and evil laughter):
"Zombie is not injured but you take 68 points of damage! Your body looks like burnt BBQ! You scream like a little school girl."

Ralph: "WHAT? HOW? I only have 54 HP! That would mean that I am...."

Group: "DEAD!"

DM: "You just learned the hard way what undead are. Maybe night next you won't flip off the cleric! {evil laughter}"

Ralph: "As I go down, I yell CLERIC! 150 gp to heal me ASAP!"

Yuri: "Hehe, and he laughed at me for buying potions of healing instead of a really big mace!"

Ralph spent the next 5 hours hiding behind the magic user and cleric every time they ran into skeletons & zombies but the stupid fool charged the first vampire they ran into and nearly bit it again! It took 10 minutes for em to stop laughing and get my fat butt picked up off the floor. he last words to the cleric were; "Don't worry it's not an undead like skeletons and zombies, right!???" Cleric: "Um, well, uh, actually it kind of (ZAP! as Ralph score another near perfect hit) is, oh nevermind. Let's see do I have another cure moderate or serious wounds left?"