So my adoptive father told me I should get out, see the world, stop breaking his stuff so I did. I packed up my worldly possessions and left. I saw a poster for free food and something about exploring the world and taking back some sort of stolen lands.
Free food caught my eye and Foo Foo Cuddly Poofs, my saber-tooth moose-lion eidolon, said I should stop being lazy and start doing something useful if I wanted to make a flying machine as it cost money to fly without magic. I got there and got in line. I moved really quickly. People must have known I was good stuff because they kept letting me ahead of them. I had to sign some stuff and then they sent me to a group of people saying something about how we would work well together with the mix of skills. After some speech and swearing and stuff I raided the food a second time and then the group was brought through some hallways, talk about weapons and stuff and we were given free stuff. Free stuff rocks!
The group I was with was alright. The biggins were all high and mighty on their horses and being tall and stuff but Trixie was cool with her chop chop chop stuff. We road out for a week or two or a month, I forget, but we got to some trading post with Oleg and Svetlana. Svetlana is the best biggin I have every met. She gave me some stew that was delicious. I had 8 bowls and then fell off the table and took a nap. Foo Foo told me there was talk about stopping some bandits from robbing Oleg and Svetlana and that I had agreed to it though I don't remember doing it.
The bandits showed up while I was eating my 3rd breakfast. We got them good and went to find the rest. On the way we made friends with a giant whiplash centipede which really needs to consider changing its lifestyle. Living in garbage is not a way to go through life.
We eventually ran across the bandit camp and beat them up. Foo Foo got dismissed but I knew he's alright. After we won I decided to poke around in the treasure wagon. It bit me and it stung but it didn't stop me from walking around and seeing what there was to see. Actually it kinda did as the bear trap weighed almost as much as I did. We spent a whole day afterwards at the camp and the elf lady gave me the best job ever - mend the broken wagon by casting mend! 12 hours later I was done! Woo!
We ran across some mites in this underground tree fort a while later. The fort was pretty fun but the climbing part was not good for most of us. Our former bandit sorcerer even knocked himself out falling down hehe. He deserved it though after he made friends with a kobold.
The kobold disgrace was continued. I was told not to kill him which was kraptastical. We eventually made it to the krappy kobold's home and gave them some statue and they broke it but the elf lady told me to fix it so we can sell it. We followed the krazy kobolds to some wizard kobold dude. We killed him eventually. They gave us stuff and told us they'd mine the silver mine they lived in for fish and stuff. I figured I could come back later and drop the cave on them when they are done. One of them even tried to take my torture sticks back saying he "owned" them or made them or some such silliness.
I was sad later though when I read the kobold's journal. He was a gnome reincarnated into a kobold and spent many years ruining kobold tribes for fun. It was a great read. I left out most of the cool stuff when I told the tallies about it because they'd not appreciate the complexity and coolness of the gnome's plans.
Well, Foo Foo is telling me to stop cackling at myself as I'm scaring the biggins. Plus today I need to get up early and start working on my flying machine. I'm going to see if the elf lady will make a bird show up and let me measure it and stuff. I figure I should try that as the whole jumping off tall things and using the tiny catapult to fling frogs after telling them to fly hasn't gotten me anywhere. Well, that's not right as the tiny catapult is loads of fun when I shoot our bandit minions with frogs and stuff!