| Eryx Marrow |
To the developers and fellow rules lawyers, I am here to share the tale of how I legally achieved interplanetary threat status in a high-fantasy setting using nothing but a strict reading of RAW and a fundamental understanding of electromagnetism.
Pf1e: My GM recently introduced magnets and a hijacked spaceship into our Pathfinder campaign. While Paizo likely intended for magnets to be used for dungeon puzzles or minor technological items, I realized something critical: if magnets exist, the basic laws of electromagnetism apply. So...
So, I built an orbital spiral mass driver. Yes.
If life gives you magnets, you make an orbital spiral mass driver.
Instead of a standard linear accelerator, I designed a spiral cyclotron vacuum loop built into the ship's hull while parked in low orbit/the Astral Plane. This allowed a magnetic projectile to infinitely loop and continuously build up terrifying, relativistic momentum with zero atmospheric friction.
Then, a little door opens up when the necessary speed is attained and...you guess for yourself. And how to get the payload across planes? Using the Gate spell, or if you don't want to be burning spelll slots, you simply jsut teleport the whole spaceship over there. And...
When my GM tried to fight back using the standard "Falling Objects" rules cap of 20d6 maximum damage, I just pivoted to a new ammunition profile.
Instead of a single solid slug, I engineered an orbital MIRV cluster bomb. The payload? A hollowed-out iron dart filled with roughly 8,000 to 15,000 copper coins. Or gold coins if you just want to look cool, I guess.
According to Table 13-11: Damage from Falling Objects, the smallest listed category is "Tiny or smaller," which deals 1d6 base damage (doubled to 2d6 if dropped from above 150 feet).
By a strict literal reading of RAW:
1. When the payload splits in the upper atmosphere, every single individual coin becomes its own independent falling object.
2. Even with a massive penalty, dropping 8,000–15,000 coins means my turn legally requires rolling up to 15,000 separate Ranged Touch Attacks.
3. Using a digital dice roller to automate the attack script, the statistical probability is overwhelmingly in my favor. Even if the targets make every single Reflex save to halve the damage, and around 1000 missing from nat 1s, 14,000+ hitting coins dealing 2d6 apiece averages out to over... 50,000 points of pure kinetic force damage.
For context, Cthulhu has 703 hit points. After I vaporized my 8th lich using variations of this kinetic technology, my GM officially threw his notes at me, gave up trying to stat it out, and issued an absolute executive table-ban on magnets. And he hates magnets now. I don't blame him.
I didn't break the universe. I just told the universe to work for me.
My question for the forum: Is there anything in the strict RAW text of the Core Rulebook or Technology Guide that actually stops this, or have I successfully achieved Universal Malicious Compliance?
Adaptation to pf2e: Simply don't open the sabot.
Source Player Core pg. 421
A dropped object takes damage just like a falling creature. If the object lands on a creature, that creature can attempt a Reflex save using the same rules as for a creature falling on a creature. Hazards and spells that involve falling objects, such as a rock slide, have their own rules about how they interact with creatures and the damage they deal.
Critical Success The creature takes no damage.
Success The creature takes bludgeoning damage equal to one-quarter the falling damage the you took.
Failure The creature takes bludgeoning damage equal to half the falling damage you took.
Critical Failure The creature takes the same amount of bludgeoning damage you took from the fall.
And round after round, you just continue to drop it, just don't drop it all together or the dmg will plateau.
So while the
(PS: This reminds me of D&D's peasant rail gun, lol)