Strength 7 - I abhor manual labor.
Dexterity 16 - I can roll my tongue and twirl a pen, so that counts.
Constitution 12 - I'm rarely sick, but I'm by no means hardy.
Intelligence 0 - I lose at tic-tac-toe, like, every time.
Wisdom 9 - I'm updating this, yeah?
Charisma 9 - Being a geek significantly penalizes this ability score.