Cado Deus's page

Concerning the wrongfully imprisoned Paracountess in the Hellknight fortress, I suspect I was tapped for this mission because it required a little more finesse than my fellow Pathfinders on point were accustomed to wielding. Don’t get me wrong, the powers that be put together our team with great skill. Going into Castle Gloom and Doom without muscle would have been as foolish as not having me to grease the wheels.

The “greasing” began with a rather delightful ebon-clad vixen named Elixia. She tries to play hard as nails, pardon the pun, but I suspect she wears silk stockings under all that steel. From her I was able to get the inside scoop on the turn-keys necessary to free the Paracountess. We needed a two thirds approval from officers in the fortress prior to gaining audience with the boss man.

From my newly gained intel, I deduced that our first mark, the Paravicor, was a just man that would bend to the facts of the case. Knowing this, I expressed an interest in his time and made the facts as succinct as possible. My skill with the pen is almost that of my tongue, so I pointed out some inconsistencies in the documentation responsible for this most recent damning of the Paracountess. After picking apart some weak forgeries and going over travel logs that gave Zarta a solid alibi at the time of her supposed treachery, the Paravicor was practically apologizing to me for the inconvenience.

With one down and one more middle man to go before speaking with the true authority, the Mistress of Blades was my next mark. Elixia told me that the Mistress made her name as a great field soldier and she has interest in reforming the “heathens” to the north. In my experience the only thing soldiers like more than using their swords and…shafts…to conquer foreign lands is talking about how they have already done so. I decided to play to this predilection and told her about one of my missions that took me into these northern lands. It was an interesting story of a brothel, a bicorn, a forgery, and amputee halfling, but at the end of the day I was able to exert my will over the whole chaotic mess. Of course there is no reason to let the truth get in the way of a good story, so I continued by embellishing a bit. I explained how I picked up this Egorani vixen that shared the mission with me, and this afforded me a chance to meet with Paracountess Zarta. I then told the Mistress that the Paracountess was currently drafting reforms in the area based on my account of its lawlessness. Hand to Abadar I think I could actually smell her pheromones by this point. The Mistress probably would have signed away her firstborn child if I asked her with a smile. Needless to say she was only too happy to do anything she could to free the Paracountess.

Once we had the approval of these two fine upstanding Devil-Paladins, we had satisfied their bureaucracy enough to make something happen with their leader. We were finally shown to Lictor DiVitri. He was such a prat; arrogant and abrasive. Perhaps the Knights of the Nail think something of him, but I have no respect for a man that interrupts me while I speak. Oh how I would love to have him under my compulsion. It is my understanding that some of their ranks are quite resolute against such machinations, and not wanting to jeopardize the Pathfinder mission I decided to swallow my pride, but having that cur lick my boots would be most satisfying. At the end of the day he was at least honorable enough to implicitly admit himself a fool in the face of all the evidence, and reverse the decision to have Zarta imprisoned.

Of course if that was where the story ended, I wouldn’t have had the need for that muscle I alluded to earlier. Apparently in his arrogance, DiVitri didn’t bother to keep tabs on his men. Down in some crummy cell block, I forget the name…it is more funny if you have been there,..the keeper decided that DiVitri’s word wasn’t enough to release Zarta and he attacked us with a couple of hell hounds. My comrades and I turned the dogs to paste and subdued what seemed to be the first free thinker in the fortress. A little of the blood magic and he became quite cooperative. He gave us the names of those responsible for Zarta’s framing and described his role. I think one of our soldiers cut his head off after.

So it looked like things were wrapping up, but still no Zarta. These clowns apparently aped the architecture of Hell all they could, and decided that wasn’t enough. In this Spire of the Forgotten was an actual portal to hell. Ridiculous right? Stop acting like a prick all the time and maybe you can inspire the loyalty of a few men to hold down a jail cell, you really don’t need the legions of hell…I digress.

Through this portal was the Paracountess, unconscious and bound all fetish-like. Guarding her was some hell hound like no other. It was huge and had metal plates that seemed to grow from its skin. It really did a number tearing into my comrades, and it seemed quite resolute against most of my spells. I was able to redesign the landscape enough to give men the upper hand. After a lot of blood and broken bones the beast finally dropped.

As amazing as the Paracountess looked in her latest fashion, we removed her bindings and escorted her out of the fortress. Mission accomplished…Bloody Hellknights.