I’m going to recap and fast-forward through some of the obvious stuff to get on to the interesting bits.
The next several minutes are filled with mostly disgruntled guardsmen (though a couple seem amused) barking orders and being generally disagreeable. Bitiborium has made no new friends among his jailors, but he does blunt some of their embarrassed anger aimed at the team by insisting (quite convincingly) that the whole ruse was entirely his own doing. When cooler heads prevail, he quotes real laws and precedents to convince the guardsmen that the Saringallow Seekers are allowed to consult with him and receive – at least – notice of the evidence related to his impending trial because they have a financial stake in the dispensation of his property due to an existing contract.
The lieutenant on the scene, realizing the legalities are well beyond his purview, determines that the Seekers shall be politely removed from the building until the legalities are determined by a judge or magistrate.
And so it is that our heroes find themselves out on the streets yet again. The lieutenant goes to report matters to the watch commander. Then, likely, the legal niceties will be set before a magistrate for arbitration.
OK, was a decision reached on what you guys are doing next? The ideas I recall being floated were ‘talk to Sophi’, ‘go into the sewers’, ‘get our hands on the bloody locket and do a Blood Biography on it’, and ‘head into the forest to try and track some skulks’. Let me know if I missed something and/or the order in which you’d like to do things.
"It kind of works," she says, "at least up to a point. But the question I assume anybody is likely to ask would be why you would want us to do such a thing? It doesn't necessarily lead anybody to be inclined to trust you more. Or frankly they might question your sanity. Perhaps that doesn't matter to you if we're able to clear your name but I don't know that either of those things help us to do so."
”I’m being painted as a homicidal mastermind. Being called insane is no worse. The point is not what they think of me or getting their trust – I won’t. They need to trust your credibility and believe you aren’t my puppets. Otherwise, they'll doubt every bit of evidence you find. Perception is power.” He pauses briefly as you hear a commanding yell and some stomping boots coming from the corridor outside. He finishes his last thoughts in a rush. ”Is it a deal or not?”
Assume everything Bitiborium says registers as truth unless I say otherwise.
Nerissia wrote:
"I am pretty sure they'll take the word of an official Hellknight…”
Bitiborium rubs his chin, thinking. ”That could help. It might lend some credibility if you can testify you heard no lies in my answers.”
Nerissia wrote:
"Do you have any ideas as to who would want to frame you for this sort of thing?”
”If I understand what’s happened… the skulks captured, robbed, and likely killed Mr. Aculla. Then they implicated me by planting his locket in my cart in front of some witness. It seems the skulks have built this fine frame.”
Nerissia wrote:
”Do you know anything about Mister Aculla or his 'lady-love'… beyond the few times you said you met them?”
”I don’t think I’ve ever met the lady, just her beau. All I remember of him is that he was intent on finding the ‘right gift’ for her. He liked the crystal bird but wanted to shop around for something better. I think he came back the next day and bought it.”
Nerissia wrote:
”Could either of them be involved in the setup or do you think it's someone else wanting specifically you to take the fall?"
”I can’t imagine that the victim or his fiancée had any part in framing me. I think I’m just an easy target.”
Hannelia wrote:
”I think we have a deal then.”
”Good. One thing - this is important and illogical. I’m hiring you to prove my guilt. There are rumbles of me ensorceling and manipulating people. And those claims will be louder when the guards storm in here angry at being tricked into letting you in. Some people may not trust your objectivity by saying I ‘bewitched you’, or some foolishness like that. Those arguments become a lot weaker if you are working to determine my guilt. Get it? Now… I’ll pay you for proving my guilt. But, outside of our contract, I’ll reward you far more if you can get me off this hook.”
Hannelia wrote:
“[Skulks] are scattered but probably not broken and no less dangerous for it… Can you see an angle we’re missing?”
Bit leans against the rusty bars, thinking. ”Maybe you’ve already thought of this but… If it were me – and assuming they aren’t crazy – I’d be preparing to run. They live by secrecy, correct? They’ve been found out. The watch is after them. They’ve lost half a dozen from their gang – if the guards’ talk is true. The sewer isn’t their thieves’ highway any longer. There’s no future in Saringallow for them; they have to see that.”
”So, how to get away clean? Maybe you try to muddy the water and distract the Watch by throwing some fresh meat in their face… like a sketchy little gnome outsider.” He shrugs. ”That’s as far as my thinking has gone.”
Majara:
I know work has been a trial so we haven't had a chance to finish your convo with Ruvarra about what divination spells they have on hand. I will mention one they have available: Blood Biography
Deal! You’ll use up your Discern Lies for the day and the spell will last throughout the conversation.
Nerissia wrote:
"I would know if you are lying to us, gnome."
Bitiborium nods, ”If you say so.”Bit purposefully tanks his Will Save.
Nerissia watches the shifts of the gnome’s aura as questions are put to him. So far, there are no shadowy contractions or color changes that would indicate a lie in anything he has said.
…the phrasing of the request to "collect proof of my guilt or innocence" strikes her as odd.
Brownie points on that catch! That’s a curious turn of phrase, isn’t it?
Hannelia wrote:
Hannelia listens, looking over to Nerissia for confirmation that the gnome isn't lying.
Nerissia has to post about Discern Lies before I can respond to that. Your SM roll alone won’t tell you anything save that Bitiborium seems to be speaking honestly.
Hannelia wrote:
”… most people aren't going to look too hard for an alternative when your head is being served to them on a platter.“
She waves her hand at Bit's mention of hiring. "The skulks came after my family and my friends - I'm already all in on this," she says determinedly. Then, more softly, "Nor do I want to see an innocent man hang for their crimes. Provided we can stop them and get to the bottom of this, I would hope that we'd be able to collect sufficient evidence anyway."
The gnome holds up a hand. ”I’m going to have to insist. One, there are no free lunches. You are providing a valuable service and should be recompensed.
Two, Isger and Cheliaxian laws are related, with deference shown both ways. If the court defers to Cheliax’s legal custom, then a contract with payment between parties, gives you leeway to visit me as a ‘party with a vested interest’ in what happens to me. Pro bono work isn’t respected and has few legal rights in Cheliax. The court here can rule as they like, but I think it’s better to have some sort of precedent on my side, don’t you?
Three… if my head IS platter-bound, then I’d rather you folks have certain items which will be put to good use. Seeing them go to the court that served my head up… just doesn’t sit well with me.”
Just a side note here… Majara (as a fellow gnome) and Nerissia as someone with baseline knowledge of Cheliax’s history, and anyone making a DC10 Knowledge: History roll… know that all the talk of Cheliax negotiating with the gnomes as a race, the existence of a Gnomic Hegemony, and there being a ‘jurisprudence treaty’ is pure, 100%, unadulterated and full of trans-fats, load of bullshit.
For this Q&A, I’m going to dispense with most of the ‘color’ around the answers, to keep things clear.
Majara wrote:
"Did you see any skulks, Bit? Two were reported leaving your shop…”
”No, I haven’t seen any skulks or done business with any. We merchants have a saying – skulks steal not deal. And I don’t traffic in items stolen from the dead, well, unless they are ancient and long buried.”
Majara wrote:
”…and the supposed bloody locket was found in your personal possessions.”
This almost draws a smile from the pajama’d gnome. ”I can nearly guarantee that isn’t true. My personal possessions are secured. Could something be found in my cart or sleeping area? Yes. Among my treasured possessions? I very much doubt that.”
Majara wrote:
"I don't suppose you have any sort of alibi? We know Aculla went missing at [date/time] so if there's any who could attest to where you were at that time it'd be useful."
Bitiborium thinks hard on this point. ”I don’t recall that specific day… but I’m not sharing my evenings with anyone in town. If this man disappeared in the early morning I was likely asleep and assuredly alone.”
Glory begins gesticulating, to which Bit responds, ”Yes, you must have been there… but I’m not sure they’d find you a credible witness.” To the team he explains, ”She would like to testify, if that would help.”
Hannelia wrote:
”For what it’s worth, I find it hard to believe that you’re responsible. I struggle to see you as a killer. But I’m not the one who will be passing judgement. I’m also tired of being taken for a fool and the stakes here are high so I hope you understand why I’d rather make sure. I don’t know if such magic is allowed under the law but it could be useful to deploy it if needed,”
The gnome offers her a formal bow, hand over heart. ”Thank you for your faith in my character.”
FWIW, yes, magic can be used to corroborate or disprove matters… but how it is ‘weighted’ against the rest of the evidence is entirely up to the presiding judge.
Hannelia wrote:
”Given you were unaware of that, I’m guessing you didn’t see whether anything else was confiscated?” she asks Bit. ”I doubt there’s anything that could be quite such a strong piece of evidence as it’s difficult to refute the locket as belonging to Mister Aculla but it would be useful to know in order to avoid being blindsided by something else.”
”Miss Venator, I was awakened by a slew of gendarmes bursting into my quarters. They grabbed me, trussed me like a turkey, and carried me out like a spring lamb. I saw only the first moments of their pillaging of my shop… but nothing that I placed in my quarters should be problematic.”
Hannelia wrote:
”The story being spun is of you being the mastermind behind the murder rather than the wielder of the blade so I don’t think it would really shift the narrative.”
That raises the gnome’s eyebrows. He’d gathered, from some of the guard talk, that he was being accused of something like that… but hearing it said to his face is a different matter. ”I’ve been called many things, but ‘murderous mastermind’ is new.”
Hannelia wrote:
”Do you have any idea why you’re being set up? Are you just a convenient scapegoat or have you had some dealings with the skulks - or whoever is actually controlling them - that might have annoyed them? I don’t think we know anything about who that might be, beyond that they have been referred to as a ‘hag’, which is not much to go on.”
Bitiborium paces nervously. ”I’ve been giving ‘why’ some thought in this cell. I haven’t had dealings with any skulks or any ‘hag’ that I know of. There have been some crotchety townfolks – young and old – who didn’t always like my terms… but I can’t believe that would rise to a level where framing me for a murder seems reasonable. It could very well be that I’m simply an easy victim… I’m an outsider here, I’m a gnome in a largely human town, and some people find me odd and/or dislike my negotiations. It’s easier to pin a murder on a stranger.”
Hannelia wrote:
”You’ve demonstrated that you deal in all kinds of interesting wares. Perhaps there is something rare, valuable, powerful that they could be targeting?”
From the look on his face, this wasn’t something Bit had considered. He does now. After half a minute he responds slowly, ”I’ve got a couple interesting objects currently… but I know their provenance. Nothing that is powerful in any conventional way… rare, yes… valuable, also yes. I don’t see how framing me for murder gets them any closer to those goods. They succeeded in getting me away from my cart, but the guard are definitely keeping an eye on my shop if it’s the scene of a crime.”
Hannelia wrote:
”There will be a demand for some kind of justice and I fully expect it to be bloody. I’m not a lawyer but as it stands the case against you looks strong and I don’t know how inclined anybody is going to be to look for alternative explanations.”
Bit nods, ”Yes… and that’s why I want to hire you all. I want you to collect proof of my guilt or innocence.”
Bitiborium seems unbothered by Nerissia’s straight-forward approach. As a merchant he knows the value of giving the client what they want. He fires back answers at her cadence. ”I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t have a locket - bloody or otherwise. I met Mister Aculla a couple of times when he was in town. He came into my shop and bought a keepsake for his lady-love… it is a small crystal bird figurine.”
A 17 is not high enough to answer that question conclusively. However, the Shae are living shadows that emulate the appearance of humanoids. It seems possible that the thing that ‘binds’ their shadow stuff into a physical form is their will. So, when a Shae dies, the will is gone and the body reverts to its normal composition, a collection of shadows. Your best guess is the physical dissolution is possibly the normal result when a Shae die. But you can’t 100% rule out a summoning.
Hannelia wrote:
"Master Bitiborium," she says, "I am glad to see you well amidst all of this carnage. Do you need any aid?" She scans the area looking for the gnome's distinctive stall. "Were you present the whole time? Did you see what happened here, where the woman and the dog came from?"
Bitiborium looks himself over and pats himself down. ”No, no. I appear to be fine. Thanks for asking.” Hannelia spots the gnome’s stall in the SW corner of the square; it seems undisturbed. ”I can’t say I was here for all of it. That is to say… I was dusting and tidying my inventory when I heard a sort of distant hullabaloo, people shouting, that sort of thing. I popped my head out and saw the dark figures entering the square. They might have come from that alley across the way, I’m not really certain about that.” From the direction he points, they entered from the south, and near the middle of the southern ‘face’ of the square.
”It's like they were on a stroll - bold as brass. Folks started yelling, running, and such… Then that watchman,” he nods toward the corpse, ”drew a blade and blocked their path. She drew and they fought. The dog killed that other woman like she was a hare. She bolted and it chased her down. Then it was mayhem with screaming, arrows flying, howls, and all the rest.”
If Nerissia chooses to raise an issue about the lock of hair, we can do that in spoilers. Moving on…
With the terms and conditions accepted, Bitiborium nods. ”You now have responsibility for Glory. Treat her well and if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out to me.” He gives the orchid a pat and leaves a bit hesitantly.
Bitiborium notes the orchid's response - a sudden configuration of anthers and leaf flutters - with a smirk. "Glory is fine… but she laughed at being called benevolent." He raises an amused eyebrow at the orchid’s additional commentary. ”Oh, so you’re a salty adventurer now? I see. Well, practice your Common then.” He translates that last into Celestial.
After a moment, the lowest orchid petal curls up at the edges. The anthers rearrange themselves above the petal in imitation of a face. Glory looks much like this:
The gnome nods, ”Consider it as me asking you for a leap of faith. It may never happen, but if it does, I won’t be putting your lives or oaths in peril.”
Roger, feel free to take your time coming up with a secret.
Tone can be tricky to read so I want to be clear. Bit wasn’t upset by the questions and was largely theorizing aloud. He also didn’t think Hannelia was looking for loopholes. If anything, he was trying to remove potential loopholes to keep himself accountable.
Bit looks to the others for further concerns, questions, agreement, or refusal.
"Are the first and last terms connected? Or are they two separate occasions?”
Hannelia’s questions raise the gnome’s eyebrows. ”I hadn’t thought of that. My intention is that they are separate matters… but someone unscrupulous could try to merge them. Of course, that would likely be an attempt to abuse the caveat against ‘violating anyone’s morals’… which would nullify the agreement. So, to keep it simple, term #4 cannot be used in relation to term #1, at all.”
Hannelia wrote:
”And not that I have any intention of breaking the agreement, but I think it would be prudent to ask what would be the penalty for doing so?"
Bit rubs an orchid leaf gently, considering. ”At a minimum, I’d reclaim her and we would never do business ever again. Other restitution might be required, depending on the circumstances. For instance, if she died in your care and then you decided to renege on performing a task for me… since I can’t reclaim her, you would owe me the value I place on her life as well as the task.” There is no threat in his words but you have the impression the merchant takes deals very seriously and will collect what he is owed, one way or another.
Hannelia nods in agreement at Roger’s words. ”Hard to argue with that.” To Bitborium she says, ”Do we owe any commission or does the money for her carrier plus the warm glow of a successful arrangement suffice?”
The gnome laughs heartily. ”I’m not that easy of a sell, Miss Venator. People undervalue what they receive cheaply. I pride myself on an even exchange. Let me confer with the orchid for a moment.”
Using previous Diplo, etc. rolls here…
Bitiborium speaks in a variety of tongues while doing a strange set of dance movements – largely canting his arms, hands, fingers, upper-body, and head in odd shifting angles. Hannelia recognizes the odd word in Celestial and Majara understands a few other words in Sylvan. Nothing said in particularly revelatory. The orchid responds largely through the movement of leaves, stamen, and shifts in color. After a long minute of what would seem absolute gibberish (and a horrible dance routine) to outside observers, the ‘discussion’ ends with the gnome pulling out a kerchief to wipe his flushed brow.
The gnome explains, ”Right. She’s amenable to being adopted. Only Nerissia is an unsuitable caretaker – no offense meant. She’s rather impressed with Strapping Lad’s beard. I don’t know why she made a point of that… but there it is. She did have nice things to say about all of you, by the way, so don’t feel slighted. As for her adoption fee, we haggled a bit. In the end, we agreed on four terms:
1. At a time of my choosing, I’ll ask you to perform a task for me. It won’t be something that violates anyone’s morals – not murder or thievery. It might be as simple as transporting some trade goods.
2. I require a lock of Miss Vael’s hair.
3. I need a secret from Strapping Lad that he’s never shared with anyone. (This can be done as a PM)
4. Once, at some point in the future, I will ask you to ‘trust me’ and you have to do it.”
His eyes sweep across the group, ”Are those terms accepted?”
The gnome waves off that assessment. ”I was just trying to save my skin. The glowing blade did all the real work. Wraiths are nearly powerless in sunlight, you know. I just had to give the obstinate stragglers a reason to leave me be. When they lit out one way, I grabbed my cart and ran in the opposite direction.”
Hannelia wrote:
”…if I may say so, you're natural storyteller. You have a way with words that I appreciate and I suspect it helps make you a successful salesman."
His response is an enigmatic smile. ”We are all in a set of stories. It’s best to craft the narrative as well as we can. Thank you for the compliment.”
Hannelia wrote:
”And the effect is not within anyone's control, it sounds almost like it has an understanding on some level of what is needed in any given moment? Would that be a fair assessment?"
Bitiborium considers this briefly. ”I think that’s on the nose. I see it as me (or you) controlling the ‘where’, ‘when’, and ‘why’… But the exact ‘what’ is in someone else’s hands.”
Hannelia wrote:
"I may be getting a bit ahead of myself here. I would be honoured to carry her and she may also have a preference that we should take into account. I also think there are practical considerations - while I have the utmost faith in Roger and Emma to protect her from harm, she would potentially be more at risk given their skills lie in close combat. We probably don't need to make a decision on this yet though."
The gnome nods, ”Which neatly brings us to care and feeding. It would certainly be best if she wasn’t on the front line. But she can only be carried or cared for by persons of good temperament or those who have affection for her. (In game terms, any good characters or neutral characters with an interest in plants. Evil characters handling these duties will cause her to sicken and eventually die) Her diet is a bit unique. She only feeds on the souls of the damned.”
He lets that comment hang before bursting into laughter, ”I jest! I jest! Her only curious need is holy water. A vial of it, once a month. Other than that, she is like most other plants. Sunlight, fair weather (though she is hardy), and occasionally refresh the nutrients in her soil.”
After Hannelia finishes speaking in Celestial, Bit shakes his head. ”She understands Celestial just fine but if you really want to speak with her… it isn’t that easy. Can get your hands on a spell for speaking with plants? That’s best. Our compromise is a mix of Celestial, First Speech, Sylvan, and interpretive dance. It’s tiring but effective.”
Hannelia wrote:
"How exactly does she exert her influence? Does she," she casts around for the right phrase, settling on, "work through us - enhancing our abilities? Or does she affect others more directly, such as trying to turn malign actors away from their deeds?"
The gnome moves the potted plant closer to the team as he explains. He points to the stamen with a vivid apricot-colored head. ”She has three stamen and this is the mature one. There is only one fully mature stamen at any one time. They mature about once per month. Let us say, you are adventuring and you need her help. You would pull the mature stamen out and place the drop of nectar where you need it: on a person, weapon, shield, patch of ground, or whatnot. How you benefit isn’t up to you…. or even her, I think. Elysium’s gift manifests as it will. I can’t speak to all the possibilities but I can give you some examples.”
”Drunk or placed on a person, the nectar can salve wounds, stop poisons, cure diseases, or even end pernicious curses. Placed on a weapon, it can make that weapon anathema to the enemy in your way.” He pushes the plant back towards the center of the table and pats the flower’s head gently as if it were a child. ”Not so long ago, we were traveling and I took the wrong road. I guess I wasn’t paying enough attention. Anyhoo, what I thought were hillocks were actually barrows. Some wraiths came out to say ‘hello’. Well, I had naught but a dagger and my ready smile. I plucked her stamen and dropped the nectar on my blade. If I were thinking, maybe I would have done something else… but that’s what came into my head.” He pauses for dramatic effect, ”In a moment, the blade turned to sunlight, lighting up the dark. I don’t mean it shown like sunlight; it became sunlight. I desperately hacked at the wraiths that didn’t flee right quick. The dagger didn’t care they were ghostly figures. It burned right through them and made them rethink their plan to eat my soul or whatnot. And we lived to tell the tale.”
Hannelia wrote:
"I assume she would need to accompany us but does she need to be held in order to best do her work? She is a beautiful living creature so we can hardly just stow her away. But some kind of protection for her - beyond ourselves, of course - feels like it might be prudent."
Bit grins and pulls a contraption from the basket. It is a mélange of mesh, fabric, rods, hooks, and straps. With a minute of work, Bit turns it into a tiny tent with mesh sides. The various straps hold the plant and pot securely. He lifts it up to display the hooks and straps dangling beneath it. ”Ties securely to the top of any decent backpack and is available for the bargain price of 10 gold wheels. This is where I really make my money.”
A look of disappointment crosses the gnome’s face. ”Unfortunately, I’m not fluent in her tongue. We’ve worked out a mish-mash language of sorts but it’s more of an approximation. I wouldn’t try to translate her name because I know I can’t get it right. She doesn’t mind nicknames so, if you choose to adopt her, I’d suggest you pick a meaningful name.”
”We’ve been traveling companions for some time. Admittedly, a merchant’s ‘adventures’ aren’t the same as what you do, but she isn’t unschooled in the realities of this world. She understands the risks. To continue her growth, she needs to experience more than what my company provides.“
”I expect to be in Saringallow for several more weeks – particularly if she is adopted – to ensure she feels at home and in case ‘recourse’ is needed. My reputation relies on satisfied parties, on all sides.”
Hannelia wrote:
”What exactly does she aim to do in terms of good deeds and spreading compassion and how does she go about it? Relatedly, though perhaps this will be clearer with the answer to the first question, how can we help to achieve her aims?”
”She would like to go on some of your adventures. In exchange for your care and protection, she will assist you according to her gifts. Have you ever had honeysuckle? It’s a marvelous plant. You can pull a stamen to receive a drop or two of the plant’s nectar. It’s sweet, as the name implies.”
Bit continues, ”Celestial Orchids are similar. A mature stamen provides a single drop of nectar… which carries magical properties - a gift of Elysium.”
Bit’s nearly ever-present smile fades. His voice takes on an edge of being affronted. ”I may have misjudged you. To be clear, this isn’t a house-plant. She is a sentient, good-hearted being. Would you walk into an orphanage and ask to take a child home on a ‘trial basis’ only to return her the first time she breaks a plate? What message would a child take from that?”
He looks to the orchid’s swaying anthers, petals, and shifting colors for a long moment before returning his attention to the team. ”We’re certain you have other questions. Ask them... and we’ll see where this path leads.”
To Roger's comment, Bit laughs. ”I’ll do my best to call in that favor before you get et, strapping lad. But, if I don’t, assume the favor I ask is that you give that dragon a terrible case of indigestion.”
@ Sarini Manor
Bit’s eyes light up at Hannelia’s question. ”She’s of Elysium. Compassion is her nature as is the desire to do good – not in some organized ‘save the world’ fashion but through small personal acts of benevolence and aid. As a flower her reach is limited. Heroes, such as yourselves, do good deeds on a grander scale than a flower can achieve. So, if she helps you… and you help others… she believes her reach is greater.”
Hannelia watches the plant closely… there might be some movement among the stamens, a configuration of the anthers (not caused by the flow of air) along with a subtle change in shading along one leaf.
"That makes sense. I understand why some people are happy to shout praise about the miraculous things they have got from you."
Bit points out the flip side of that particular coin. ”And others are irked at my prices or unwillingness to sell. It is the balance point of my work.”
Hannelia wrote:
"You are offering her for adoption? Is such a plant in line with one of heart's desires? Or is it that you feel we would be good custodians?"
The gnome looks at Majara for a long moment before responding, puzzling on the answer. ”Miss Pricknettle’s heart is not on her sleeve. She doesn’t seem enraptured with the orchid but she does appreciate her… So, I don’t think this is a matter of heart, per se. And I’m here because you are potentially the right custodians. It may not be a ‘love match’… but your work as adventuring heroes and the orchid’s desires could complement each other.”
Hannelia wrote:
She looks back to the plant. "Or is the decision hers to make?"
”The decision is hers. My role is advisory and quasi-parental.”
@Hannelia, it would be both Nature and Planes checks to ID the plant but don’t worry about it.
Bitiborium bows politely to the pathfinder. ”I’ve only heard your names and the deeds of the Saringallow Seekers among all the back-fence chinwagging that happens in any town. And the chins here are a’wagging about you folks. Reputations are such curious things. As for mine…” He pauses briefly, ”I dare say your neighbors have me somewhat wrong. I don’t sell ‘anything and everything’. I trade many specific things to people who desire them most.”
Hannelia wrote:
”My botanical knowledge is much more theoretical than practical. What can you tell me of it?”
As he answers her question, his hand makes a flourish toward the plant. ”This is a Celestial Orchid from Elysium. Difficult to export, harder to raise to maturity outside her natural climes, quixotic in temperament, and – if you choose to adopt and she accepts you – she will probably save some of your lives.”
And so, at the appointed hour…
of the specified day…
on a hill above Saringallow, where squats Sarini Manor…
A lark-like whistling precedes (by some distance) the approach of a ‘discerning’ gnome merchant carrying a basket holding, principally, a potted plant not born on the material plane.
After summiting the hill, he stops for a moment to collect his breath and appreciate the mansion’s faded grandeur before dashing onto the porch to greet his potential customers. He introduces himself to each one – even those he’s already met – with an enthusiastic handshake and a friendly ”Greetings! Greetings! I’m Bitiborium who runs the Item Emporium in the market square! How are you this fine day? I, myself, am bubbling with optimism.”
With greetings exchanged, Bitiborium surveys the room. He moves to the nearest table then proceeds to wiggle the top a bit. He knocks on the surface while listening intently then gives it a small amount of side-eye. His quiet hrmph says it won’t do. He hustles over to another table and performs the same random acts (or series of tests). This table apparently passes muster. He takes the basket off his arm and moves to place it on the table. His ”Do you mind if I…?” is strictly pro forma as he only waits a fraction of a moment for a reply before setting the basketed plant down in the table’s center. He rotates it a half-turn and steps away, satisfied.
Hands quickly brushed against one another to get rid of any dirt, Bit turns to regard the team. He bows, ”It’s a pleasure meeting all of you.”
"If you hadn't already a career, I'd wager the finest traders up and down the Vanji River'd pay a triple share for a packmaster of your talents."
The gnome chuckles. ”A very astute observation, strapping lad! Earlier in my career, I was a teamster and packmaster. Very handy skills at times.”
Roger wrote:
"Surely there's more to this than a simple hauling job, if my hands don't deceive an' this is mithril."
”Your hands are correct, sir, it is mithril.” As to the rest, he shrugs. ”There are no ‘strings’ attached. I don’t deal in equipment of war often because there’s a responsibility in putting a blade in a man’s hand. So that armor has been gathering dust waiting for the right owner. You have the temperament, and seem to have the nautical interests, of a man that wouldn’t put it to ill use. Unless I misjudge these matters, you will appreciate each other. Its pedigree might also appeal. Its former owner was one of the last Merchant-Princes of Vir-Az with true sea-legs.”
Majara can’t get a read on Bit’s reaction but, at a guess, there was some amount of feigning on his part.
Majara wrote:
She gives Bit a wry look after Luddy leaves. "Yes, you vexed her, certainly. The experiment is unresolved as to if you also hexed her. How much did you know about her-- or me-- before we e'er entered your enterprising emporium, I wonder?"
Bitiborium leans against the bench. ”Truthfully, I knew nothing of either of you before we met. I didn’t even know the lady’s name was Luddy. But – having been attentive in Saringallow for nigh on a month – allow me to tell you some of what I know and a bit of what I suspect. I know Miss Luddy has passed my shop on many occasions and seemed curious to enter but never did. Perhaps it was because something bothers her about my storefront, or she didn’t want to be tempted to purchase, or she felt she didn’t have the money to buy any of my wares. I also know she works in city hall in proximity to the mayor who was very interested in the Dream Collector just yesterday but was unhappy with my named price. And, I know that a woman like Miss Luddy with shoes she’s clearly repaired herself more than once, does not carry around her own bag of gold and platinum. I don’t think Miss Luddy left vexed. I think she left frazzled. The mayor will be vexed when she returns empty-handed.”
The gnome stands up and tugs at his vest to straighten it. ”I also know you are a good enough person that a Celestial Orchid regards you well. And I am a decent enough person to have raised an orchid. I don’t hex customers. That would be unethical. But I grant you there is a strange alchemy in my work that could be mistaken for hexcrafting.”
Majara wrote:
"In any case. As I said, I'll broach your interest to my colleagues, and, if they're amenable, I'm sure we'll see each other again, soon, my puzzling purveyor of potpourri."
Bit’s ready smile appears accompanied by a formal bow, ”I look forward to it. You are welcome in my shop at any time.”
Majara doesn’t sense anything overtly magical or smell or see anything alchemical in the air that would explain Robertius’ behavior. If this is some sort of magic, it’s a form the gnome has never encountered.
Majara wrote:
"Now why do you need those rungs repaired?”
Bit chews on the question for a moment, eyes gazing upward left then right. He debates between a trite and a nuanced answer. ”The truth is… I could use my ladder repaired, not the one he is likely to fix. But I’ve seen workmen using that ladder a lot and several rungs are in poor shape.”
Majara wrote:
”And should I expect that the adoption price for the orchid will mean some sort of trade of an equally mysterious task, perhaps by my coworkers and I? You're a puzzling man, Master Bit." She is smiling a bit as she says it. Puzzles are, of course, intensely intriguing.
Bit smiles, ”Those are all very good expectations and conclusions, Mistress Pricknettle. I appreciate being called ‘puzzling’. ‘Vexing’ is what I hear more often. For instance, observe…”
The gnomerchant steps away to serve Luddy as she scours the shelves for a second time. ”May I help you find something, madam?”
Luddy seems almost sheepish. ”Uh, maybe. I’m looking for something I saw the other day. It’s old and made of leather, sort of round, with feathers hanging off like tassels. And in the circle there’s like spider-webs…”
Bitiborium nods, ”Yes! I have something like that but I’m at a loss to recall where it is. If you’ll look at the high shelves, I’ll look low and I’m sure we’ll find where it has traipsed off to.” He stalks the low shelves and rounds the corner to the next aisle. With Luddy fully engaged in the search, he pulls the item from his pocket and gives Majara a look.
”Ah hah! I’ve found it madam!” He exclaims as he holds the object up like a prize and brings it to her. ”This is a rare piece. Very old. Doeskin over a birch frame. Deer sinew makes up the ‘webbing’ and the thongs holding – as you see – bird feathers and minor gemstones. It’s called a Dream Collector. Are you having bad dreams, perchance?”
Luddy is taken aback by the question. ”No. Well, my dreams are pleasant, generally.”
Bit offers a briefly puzzled expression, ”Really? Then I suppose you simply appreciate the piece for its beauty or story?”
Luddy pauses and clutches the heavy coinpurse ladening her belt, trying to speed up the transaction. ”How much is it?”
The gnome frowns, ”Well, madam, there is another party interested in it and I would hate to sell it out from underneath her. However, if you can meet the price, I’ll sell it to you. I should caution you, that may be a hurdle.”
Luddy says something that surprises Majara, ”I have gold crowns… and even platinum.” As a long-time resident, the alchemist is quite certain there is no common city hall worker with platinum coins.
Bitiborium is quick to respond, ”Madam leads a fortunate life, clearly! Perhaps my price will be within your easy grasp then. How fortuitous! For the Dream Collector, I’d like an item in trade… the mayoral desk.”
Luddy’s hand stops on its path to the coinpurse. ”What? But…”
Bit continues smoothly, ”I apologize for my eccentricity but money – in this case – is of no interest to me. My price was and is the mayor’s desk. But perhaps she’d be willing to sell it to you and then I will happily trade you the Dream Collector for the desk. Is that agreeable?”
The civil servant looks perplexed and unsure of herself. ”Well, I’ll need to… think on that.”
”Of course, madam, of course.” Bitiborium is consoling and placating while walking the woman from his stall, ”It’s a decision you should weigh appropriately. Your negotiations with the mayor will doubtless be extensive. Be assured, I have no immediate plans to leave town, so you have time. And do pass along my very best regards to the mayor. Thank-you-please-come-again-soon.” He doesn’t quite push Luddy out of the stall. When she’s well on her way back to city hall, he turns around with a sigh and puts the Dream Collector on his work bench.
Majara enters the stall as she hears Bit climbing the ladder to put the orchid back in her sunning spot. She makes a circuit of the few aisles, taking stock of the other gnome’s… stock. The shelves are now half empty and it seems Bit has done a number of local trades. There is a worn and cracked wooden Witch’s End door sign that Alcie replaced 15 years ago, a set of woven hats that were displayed at the Stitch and Sew last month, and even a bottle of gaudy lip-paint (with tiny application brush) that must have come from one of the ladies at Willita’s House of Rapture. Aside from that, there are a lot of mundane things – glassware, jewelry, an impressively large ball of pink yarn, kitchen utensils, dusty books, and various knick-knacks. Majara wouldn’t call it junk… but nothing really impresses her.
That assessment is not shared by the other customers in the shop. Robertius the handyman seems almost transfixed as he gazes at a fishing pole made from a curious wood. And a woman that works at city hall – Majara thinks her name is Luddy – is meticulously searching the shelves for something.
Bitiborium ghosts around the corner from the next aisle to amble up beside Robertius, admiring what he’s admiring. ”It’s from Minkai.” He adds helpfully, ”63 years old and made of a grass that grows like a tree, if you can believe it, called ‘bamboo’. It also comes with a set of six authentic Minkaian flies, though I’m not sure if they will attract fish here. Still, one never knows, eh? Would you like to buy it?”
Almost in a daze, the handyman nods and starts reaching into his coin-purse.
Bit stays the man’s hand with a gentle tug on his sleeve. ”Trade, not coins. You’re a workworker, yes? I have a project that could use your help. On your way to work, I expect you’ll see a ladder or two. The very first one you see, make a point of replacing the three worst rungs on it. Three rungs for the rod, are we agreed?”
Robertius nods. ”Rungs for the rod... Yes.”
Bit smiles, ”I’ll pack this up for you then.” He takes the rod and the small box of flies to his work desk to bundle them up. As soon as the gnome steps away, the handyman blinks, takes a moment to orient himself, and then follows, his voice far more normal. ”Ya don’t need to wrap it. I’ll take’em just like that.”
The gnome seems a little surprised. ”Really? It’s no bother… but as you wish, sir. The customer is always right except when he isn’t! Ha ha! Thank you for purchasing at my humble shop.” He hands the rod and box over then escorts Robertius to the doorway.
Giving Majara a little time to act before Bit deals with his next customer. @Majara, you can also respond retroactively.
”Fellows of Saringallow?” Bitiborium muses, ”I hate to be critical but that lacks… panache. ‘Seekers’ is better. Every title is better with a dash of alliteration! Hence, Bitiborium’s Item Emporium is far superior to Bitiborium’s Item Shop. Never underestimate the power of panache, strapping lad.”
In a bit more than short order, they reach the gnomerchant’s shop. Bitiborium ceremoniously yanks on three different bits of rope lashed around Roger (each leading to a clever knot) and the entire conglomeration of boxes falls away from the pirate into a disordered ring. The gnome hustles – and struggles – to drag a few of the boxes into his stall and onto various shelves. ”Thank you so much, kind sir! I do appreciate the help! You never stated a price but it will never be said that Bitiborium avoids his debts.”
Guided by instinct, the gnome slips into a dark corner of his stall looking for fair compensation. There are some oohs and ahhs, then a clatter and a muted clanging thump of something bouncing from a gnomish skull to the floor. Bitiborium emerges with two things, one tucked under an arm (a bottle) and the other carried on his back – something like a dark and dusty breastplate.
He hands the bottle to the pirate first. There is no label on it and the clear glass reveals a golden colored liquid. ”I believe I’ve seen you bend an elbow in the Witch’s End enough that you may appreciate this. This is Dandelion Wine. Don’t let the name fool you, if wine is a minnow, this beast is a black-mawed reef shark. It’s very rare. If you see another bottle in your lifetime, you’ve traveled far. It’s more commonly called ‘Dandy 188’… because it is 188 PROOF (94% alcohol). Despite that, the flavor is soft as your first kiss. Word to the wise, when drinking it… start with a shot glass until you’ve taken its measure a time or two.”
With the bottle out of the way, the gnome puts down the armor with a muted metallic thunk. ”Since you understand the value of panache, I think this might suit you.” He weaves a quick spell that Roger has seen a time or two. The dust and dirt fall off the armor.
It appears to be a breastplate made of black leather until Roger glances at the inside of it. Beneath the dark leather, which is cunningly attached, is shining mithril. Adding the ‘panache’ to the black leather chestplate is an embossed image of a kraken, tentacles waving.
Bit looks to the pirate, ”Have I guessed your interests rightly? Fair compensation?”
"Ah, Trinelli? And was the good mayor purchasing goods, or ensuring you weren't a threat to the dignity of the marketplace? I suspect I did your reputation no good with our little joyride last time,”
”Perhaps, it might have been better if she had come to protect the marketplace from incorrigibles like me. She was here to buy but, alas, walked away unsatisfied. As for my reputation…” he shrugs with calculated theatricality, ”so long as I’m able to buy, sell, and trade – I consider a little scandal a tangential benefit.” His wink is quick, as is his quoting of Majara, ”SCIENCE COMING THROUGH!” He chuckles heartily, shaking his head. ”Delightful!”
Majara wrote:
"Have you got anything for sale to tempt me today, on that subject? Or.... the flower, perhaps?"
Bit claps his hands, ”Yes, thank you for jogging my memory! The Celestial Orchid is ready for adoption and she is looking favorably on you and most of your friends.” He scurries into his shop and emerges lugging a large, rickety, ladder which he sets precariously against the stall wall. The gnome deftly climbs the shaking ladder. He pulls the potted Orchid off the roof of the stall and comes down the ladder cautiously.
He holds the orchid in the rune-scribed pot out for Majara to appreciate in the fall sunlight. ”Now, she has no reservations about you. Certain of your colleagues, however, well… a plant is affected by the soil in which it lives. I’m going to have to make a curious request of you. I need to meet with and your colleagues to ensure she’s being planted in the right ‘soil’, then I can name her adoption price. And, of course, there are care and feeding instructions to discuss.”
The gnome considers Roger's words. ”To quote a mutual acquaintance… It need not be exclusive. Let's say both. I can be a gnome AND a flirt at the same time. But in this case, good sir, my request was relative to my circumstances. You are hale-r and strapping-er than myself. And you are, dare I say, much younger. I just wear my age very well.”
Leaving the tavern, Roger has cause to regret his decision. Awaiting them are a long coil rope along with a half dozen boxes of various shapes and sizes - from small to this-might-hold-a-wheelbarrow. It seems pretty clear that ‘hale and strapping lads’ should have been a request for ‘pack mules’.
However, Bitiborium seems to have a gift for packing and load balancing. In only a few minutes Roger has all but the smallest box strapped against his back, front, or sides by a labyrinthine set of ropes and clever knots. The pirate imagines he looks like a hunch-backed turtle made of crates.
Bit smiles at his work and picks up the smallest box himself. ”Onward, strapping lad! My humble shop is in the market square.” He keeps an eye on Roger as he slowly lumbers into motion. Roger is pleasantly surprised that walking isn’t terribly difficult once he’s in motion. His load is well-balanced and the amalgam of clever knots and ropes stringing everywhere reminds him of being shipboard.
As they walk, the gnome makes conversation. ”You’re one of Miss Pricknettle’s friend, yes? And another of the Saringallow Seekers? What’s that like – heroics, derring-dos, and such?”
”Umok? I’ve never been! I’ll have to venture there next - if only to give my neck a short reprieve.”
Majara wrote:
Majara's smirk grows to a broader smile. "It need not be exclusive. Let's say both. Has business been good?"
The other gnome matches her smile. ”How unintentionally charming you are. Delightful!” Bit then considers her question, one business owner to another. ”I’m new to this Isger and your less hospitable neighbors. It started out as a bit of rough sledding among the locals, to be honest. But maybe that is just how they are? Anyhoo, I’m doing regular sales and trades with your visitors and I feel like maybe I’m turning a corner with the local folk as well. Even your mayor was in my shop just a day ago.”
Majara side-eyes Bit, her own eyes narrowed in turn. "Do you truly not know what you have, or are you testing me?" she asks archly, before looking back to the flower. "It's from Elysium. An orchid touched by celestial energies…”
”Only a poor merchant doesn’t know what he carries. Of course, I’m testing you.” Bit smiles, ”…and you don’t disappoint. I haven’t met many who could identify her so quickly.”
Majara wrote:
”As for being the right person...I'm going on a journey. I wouldn't trust my apprentice to care for it properly, nor could I take it on the road. That alone would disqualify me, whatever your other criteria are."
Bit cocks his head at Majara’s response, finding something curious in it. ”She’ll be a fine traveler when she’s grown. But she isn’t ready for adoption, her stamen aren’t in yet. Give her maybe… two or three weeks – if you’re truly interested – and we can talk about her again.” He places the flower gently in the compartment in the side of his cart and shuts the wooden panel. There are a battery of quiet sounds then the gaps that indicate the compartment seem to vanish.
He proffers a bow. ”Best of luck on your journey and thank you for visiting my humble shop.”
"--now how did you happen to come upon this specimen, Master Bit? It's rather far from home, isn't it,"
Bit’s look becomes intense, discerning, and gauging. One eyebrow raises slightly, ”Is she? How far has she come?”
Majara wrote:
She sucks her lips a moment. "Dare I ask how much you're asking for it?"
The gnome chuckles. ”She isn’t for sale so much as adoption. To the right person, she could be affordable. To the wrong person, there is no offer I will accept.”
Bitiborium raises his hands in surrender, the smile never leaving his face. ”As you wish, good Constable! Henceforth and forthwith, you shall not see it again. I am a proponent of law and order. I just got a little carried away.”Literally. Ha!
Seeming chastened, Bit pushes the vehicle back into the dark corner of his stall. He makes a slight motion with his chin to have Majara follow him. It takes Majara’s eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness. In that time, she hears what sounds like a piece of metal drop, a complicated series of taps on wood, a loud thump, and whirring… along with maybe a buzzing and a bolt sliding?
Majara PER vs DC20:1d20 + 11 ⇒ (5) + 11 = 16
Her vision returned, she sees the other gnome half-way inside a compartment built into the side of his cart, searching for something. He shimmies out of the compartment carefully cradling a small plant in a ceramic pot lined with glyphs. He shows the delicate purplish flower to Majara. She quickly notes the head of the flower emits a warm glow but the edges glow pure white, as if the flower is outlined.
Escalating check #s below, just need one Nature and one Planes check.
Bit laughs during their pell-mell race through the market, echoing Majara’s rallying cry of ”SCIENCE!” along with (at appropriate moments) ”FISH FRUIT!” and ”CABBAGES!”
Majara wrote:
"BACK, DOGGIES!" without any intervening slow or halt command...
For all its wonder, the Perusalug cannot defy common physics. Within the box around the axle, breaks are clamped… judging by the squeal of stone dragging against metal. The contraption slows quickly then comes to a brief stop before it begins to reverse direction at a leisurely pace.
The merchant continues their previous conversation, ”I don’t believe I have any curious reagents at the moment, but I have a plant that may pique your interest.”
Bitiborium clearly majored in ‘inscrutable smiles’ in finishing school because his reveals nothing of his motives. The Perusalug squeaks and rolls forward at a very leisurely, practically glacial, pace. The gnomerchant waits until disappointment registers on Majara’s face. His smile grows, ”It is designed to maneuver around my small shop, after all… but I suspect you want to see how fast it can go. Hold on.” Once his and Majara’s grips are tight, he says, ”RAMMING SPEED, Doggies!”
The device lunges forward, the front wheels almost coming off the cobblestones briefly until Bitiborium leans forward to ground them. Whatever the ‘doggies’ are, they build speed with impressive rapidity. The breeze pushes against the gnomes’ faces. Majara estimates they are traveling about the speed of a running man. (120’/rnd) The alchemist has little time to consider this as she is racing headlong into the marketplace with its array of stalls, pedestrians, horses, and mundane vehicles.
Bitiborium hums a little ditty, enjoying the ride and leaving their fate entirely in Majara’s hands.
Bitiborium watches the other gnome mount the ladder and start handling the single control lever. "Left on that handle takes you left, right goes right... obviously." With some effort he pushes the Perusalug around so it is facing the square, not his 'shop', then climbs up behind her on the device, settling on a step lower than hers. His arms are bracketing her and grabbing onto the ladder's handrails. He says quietly, "To go forward, say 'Mush, doggies!' To stop say 'Woah, doggies.' To go backwards say, 'Back, doggies.' And you want to say it pretty loud so they hear you."
He leans back, still circling her protectively with his arms but staying out of her space. He smiles, "Ready when you are."
It seems the gnomerchant has been waiting for Majara’s return because his smile grows improbably wide as she approaches.
Majara wrote:
"Ezzised, regresso whyforespy alloogots. Tradesnamenshape? Quid vendl?"
He holds up a ‘one moment’ finger then addresses the town in a voice pitched to make dogs howl and carnival barkers jealous:
“Ladies and Gentle-persons of all ilk – be you fair or foul - my name is Bitiborium and before you stands my Item Emporium! I bring you the rarest, strangest, mundane-iest, zaniest, whole-grainiest, and scientificy…est, and otherwise unforgettable baubles anywhere in the worlds! Sometimes my cart is packed with gems and treasures, sometimes magic, and sometimes mule turds… Yes, that happened once. Never try to beat a sphinx in a riddle-battle when you are both speaking a language in which each of you has only passing familiarity - lesson learned! BUT that is not why I am here TODAY. TODAY I am here to offer you goods of surpassing interest and some of no value whatsoever. Yes, indeed, Bitiborium has rare offers for you today… for trade or purchase. All reasonable (and some unreasonable) offers WILL be entertained! Come forth and see my wares! The best wares anywheres ‘cept underwears!”
His pitch concluded, Bitiborium turns to Majara and his voice returns to a normal pitch. ”Lovely to see you again! Unlike so many, I don’t have a standard line of goods. Mostly I carry bric-a-brac from here and there, some rare oddities, and the occasional hidden gem. If you have a particular area of interest or a specific need that you’d be willing to speak of… I might be able to direct you to items of possible interest. Or you can simply peruse my shelves. In fact, let me show you my Perusalug!”
From a dark corner of the tent, he rolls out a 5’ tall step-ladder, on axled wheels. The rear axle goes through a box that forms the base of the ladder. The front axle attaches to a steering column and a small brass rudder handle set near the top of the ladder. ”For appropriately-sized folk, I find this helps. Care to try?”
The cane-wielding gnome almost leaps at Majara’s patois and his head cranes around trying to find the speaker in the crowd. Spying her, he smiles and taps his cane against the ground, striking a jaunty pose. Then he gives her a deep bow accompanied by a nearly ground-dragging elaborate sweep of his arm. ”Beycomin’ y’dial slowtiks azlow!”
Bit is there. I just didn't mention him specifically. The only person who will be coming through later is Kat. She's got to pick up her pay for all the extra hours. :)
The small merchant answers the question. "Time in Crossroads is very close to time in any Prime or Alternate Prime world. Give or take a few hours, we've been gone nearly a week."
I'm up for some exploration, but let's make sure we ask which planes are accessible. I'd prefer to explore places where we can, well, breathe and survive the climate.
Bit attends your conversation but makes it clear he won't be going with you. "Adventure is for you youngsters.... I can tell you, you don't have many other choices until after the next transition." He points at the other doors. "That leads to the Plane of Earth - difficult to breath and a crushing weight. That one heads to the Plane of Positive Energy - you'll can live there until the abundance of energy blows you apart..." He turns on the third door, "Limbo - at least the environment isn't dangerous.... well, not that dangerous on the borders."
Bit looks revolted and amused. "Talking shop? Blech! I think I see a Dryad I need to charm..." He turns to the bartendress, "Keep'em happy, Kat. I'll be back folks. Enjoy your chat." He swiftly moves off through the crowd.
Bit, good to see you! Sorry about this he says, gesturing to his hair. Force of habit. If I act insulted, will you buy me a drink too?
"Only if it's a Radiant. But I'll buy you a decent drink just for nostalgia's sake."
Orin Vanderwhal wrote:
Who are these--friends, or pawns you're moving around a chessboard? He continues his smile, but the question seems to have a hint of sincerity behind it as he looks over Bit's companions, holding his gaze on their dress and forms just a bit too long, as if sizing them up.
Bit goes for a wide-eyed innocent look. "Who, me? You know Chess isn't my game. As for these folks..." He looks at them as if trying to determine the answer, "We've done business in the past and now we're somewhat more than that - at least to me. You think I'd bring casual acquaintances here?"
Orin Vanderwhal wrote:
I'm just enjoying a drink and looking for something new. It's amazing, but even in a place like this, a guy with white hair can't seem to find honest work. But something tells me that you knew I'd be here, so best to just introduce me to your friends and tell me what you want to tell me. He speaks in a friendly manner, but seems slightly apprehensive, possibly as though he owes Bit a favor that might be about to be cashed in.
Bit looks a tiny bit stung. "Happenstance brought me here, Orin, truly... but introductions first." He tightens up his waistcoat and smooths his jacket before saying formally, "Orin Vanderwhal of Golarion, may I introduce you to Ushari Velnokal, Jayse, Jofram, and Straehan... gentlemen and lady of Miir."
Formalities done, the merchant reverts to a less formal stance. "But since you mentioned wants... you might enjoy chatting with these folks. From what little I know, you all have something in common... uh... interesting histories. You know the old saying - Every sinner has a future and every saint has a past."
Bit is about to ask a question when the fellow straddling the stool next to him draws his attention. You aren't sure if its the mane of jet black hair or something else. The merchant looks him over and then pokes him in the back. "Hey! That isn't your wife, it's a chair. Ride it right or get off."
The man turns on him and smiles. Bit grins back, "Orin! I thought it was you... either that or I was going to have to buy some insulted fellow a drink. What are you doing here? Not heading back to Absalom are you?"
There are subtle landmarks. Picking the right door would only be a problem if you were drunk... or ejected out the wrong door. :)
Bit winks, "Sweet-talk a bartender and they'll show you the schedule or you can ask any of the regulars. We've pretty much got it memorized. If you are a particularly good customer, the Management might even re-target a door to where you need to go. Waiting on the cycle can take some time."
Bit nudges past the kobold and gets to the bar. He orders a round of drinks. The bartendress recognizes him and you recognize her - red hair, generous build, devilish grin. It's the waitress from the bar where you climbed up into the attic. She seems as surprised to see you as you are to see her. Her smile is genuine even towards Ushari, "Small world! On your tab, Master Bit?"
The gnome raises an eyebrow at your obvious familiarity, "Absolutely, Kat! You know these miscreants?"
He listens to Strae as they walk into the strange space. The music, the band, the patrons, the odd impossibilities of the space itself... Jayse can't help but gawk a bit as he smiles. He shakes his head at the card game, and nods his thanks at the small merchant's offer to buy their drinks. "Thanks. Any suggestions or warnings about any of the drink offerings here?" He indicates the joint in general with a quick chin nod, "Or, more to the point, what is this place?"
Bit regards the tall monk with a smile and points to a woman walking around with what appears to be a crystal goblet filled with a spinning vortex of gold light. The glow from the 'beverage' is so intense that it cuts through the hand holding the goblet. You can see every bone clearly outlined.
"I'd avoid any drink called a 'radiant' or an 'exotic'." He nods at the woman's drink, "Radiants always give me gas."
Bit turns to the group as a whole to answer Jayse's second question, "Crossroads is... It's a waypoint between the worlds. Skilled folks that travel the planes stop here - either for a drink, or companionship, or as a means to get where they need to go. Some use it for informal meetings. And some do business here... not me, but some."
He tacks abruptly, "No matter how drunk you get, remember which door you came through. Each door leads to a different spot. And mind the clock. When it chimes once, you've got a hour before the tavern transitions - and those four doors switch to other worlds. Two chimes, and you've got a few minutes to get home or take the ride. You don't need to worry about that tonight, I'll keep an eye on things to make sure you get home."
He assesses the patrons briefly, "Sadly, not too many luminaries here this evening. There was one night when Titivilus was playing Liar's Dice against this Solar. The Solar couldn't bluff for sh!t of course, but he was good at seeing through... well, it doesn't matter. Point being, I hope I didn't build your expectations too much. Now, shall we get some drinks?"
Ushari wrote:
"Sooo...Master Bit, what do you recommend?"
"I see an opening at the bar and I always believe in getting in good with my 'tender. Plus, it'll give you a better look around. Shall we?" He extends his arm to Ushari again and heads to the bar, deftly moving among the crowd of people.
Bit watches you all, gauging your reactions to the bar and clientele before saying, "I don't need to tell you to mind your manners here, do I?" Bit catches the attention of the wolf by the bar and makes a circular motion indicating all of you. "Just put your drinks on my tab."
