Barthalamu Wintwist's page

The earliest memories I have are as an orphan child living in the "streets" of a small fishing villiage. I know I wasn't from there, they ain't no Orcs live there. I doesn't know my Mum nor me Da, not even sure if they's liven er dead. It twerent a bad growen up. The villiage folks was mostly kind t' me. An as I got older and became all man-like the girls was easy enough t' convince t' have a romp. They says I'm real handsome like, for an Orc even. I doesn't see it, but if'en it makes them blouses come off I ain't argueing. Liven in the streets was good, makes me learn me trade, cooken it is. If you can make sea slug and rat stew tastey, well you can wear the title cook, s'all I'm sayin. I found that the gang I ran with looked to me t' take care of'em. Gang, huh, there was only three of us, but it came t' me to patch us up when someun get t' bleedin.
So, I was geetin older and I decided I need t' make some coin, honest like. No one wanted me t' make'um me rat stew, so I's apprenticed as the local carpenter. Now, I wasn't keen on workin with the wood, but he has this daughter see. Now, I'm kinda used t' checkin over me shoulder for an angry Pa or brother or even the occasional husband. But Mindy, she was special. So I tried real hard t' learn the carpentry so's I could ask Mindy's Pa for t' make us all legal an mated. Now, twasn't my fault. Mindy and her Pa wasn't supposed to be commin home for a few more hours. So, when they opened the door and catches me wit me britches at me ankles and Mindy's Ma's skirt up over her head, well all hell breaks loose. Mindy's cryen, Pa's screamin and comen at me wit a chisel, Ma's dropped t' her knees {again, heh} prayen to some God I an't never heard of. So I figure I better skedattle outta there afore someun, namely me, gets hurt. I'ma runnin and I sees a long boat loaden up and about t' shove off. I sweet talks the first mate inta takin me on as a cabin boy. Not long afore I'ma helpin the Cook in the Galley and assisting the Doc with the occasional stitchen up. I get t' liken the seas. T' bein out on the water. Sumptin bout it, all peacefull like, and powerfull all at the same time. I know's this is what I was born t' do. I was on a few different ships an then I was serving 'board the Crystal Waters, under cap'n Stanislaus. Well, I had finished dishen grub for the mates and got the galley all put down 'n ready fur the breakfast in the morn. Then I hears the keel bumb sumptin. How's that I thinks, we in fathoms deep o'waters. So's I head up t' the poop deck t' have meself a look see. An there is it, plain as day and big as ya want. Eyes as big as me best cook pot and a maw tha'd swallow a man whole. "KRACKEN!!" I hears t' watch yell. then theres chaos everywhere. T'was a terrible sight, terrible. Men being picked up an tossed to Davey's locker like they was a child's toy. I grabs a chain stay and runs up t'the beast an start hammerin on it like a club see. Me'n maybe 10 mates was a wailin on it good, or at least I thought we was. Then it got tired of tearin up the mainsel and turns it's attention towards us. One swipe of it's tentacle and all of us what was beating on the thing is in the drink. Thars yellin and splashin and all maner of sounds. Somehow the ship catches fire and I see's she goin down. That monster damn near broke her in two. Then I feels it, a tentacle. It grabs me leg and starts pullin me under. I can see the glow of the burnin ship even as the waters cover me head. I feels that tentacle rippin and a crushin me leg as the blackness of the waters is surrounding me. I know's I'm a gonner and headin t'tha locker. It pulls me under deep, all is black around me and me legs gone numb from so much pain. I'm holding my breath and prayin t' any god 'ull listen for any kinda miracle. then, down under the waves I sees a light. That's the last I remember. I woke up an it's daylight an I'm afloat on the water. Now, when I say I'm afloat, I'm mean my whole body is on top the waters. Me legs all twisted and I'm real groggy. I passes out again. When I wkes up, I'm washed up ona beach. There's some wreckage around me. I picks up that what looks like it's still good and head toward the smoke I see's in the distance. Happens that's Port Peril. I sell's off the scrapins I recovered. So, here I is. A cold meal and a warm ale and not two coppers left.