A Legacy Is So Much More Than Blood

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Hello and welcome, friend! We here at Sandermane Archives are pleased to offer the most thorough genealogical services in all of—oh, you're a sorcerer.

No, no! Don't say anything. You're screaming it loudly enough already, from that tacky dragon tattoo to the gaudy "gold" embroidery on your robe. Who even wears a robe in the summer? I just want one month to go by without seeing one of you deadbeats in here!

Let me guess? You know a few fire spells, some scales on your tuckus, and you daddy's cousin's great-aunt claims she spent a sweaty summer night with Mengkare. And now you want me to dig up some proof of their salacious interspecies gambol so you can embrace your destiny or claim your family fortune or settle a drunken bet?

Well you know what? You're paying up front! I'm tired of getting stiffed when you lot find out there's not a drop of dragon blood in your veins, and storm out in a huff!

Oh, what's that? You say "Mom had a tail, so grandma must've been a dragon!" Pssht! Dragons are a half-step down from gods, and you're about three square meals better than a goblin. And I know you know that; that's why you want me to tell you you're really half-dragon. But a dragon wants to make babies with you about as much as you want to make babies with your rose bush! Sure, there might be a few weirdoes out there, but that takes some pretty low self-esteem or a legendary quantity of whiskey!

Oh, but you're so sure you're the exception, are you? Ha, I say! Ha! Remember when I said they were close to gods? They change all the rules. Make 'em funny. They don't need carnal relations to leave their mark on the world. Maybe your grandpappy was a loyal servant for some wyrm, and just picked up a little taint to his blood hanging around so much—happens to kobolds all the time! Or maybe your great aunt helped slay an ancient wyrm. Or was standing too close when someone else did. Maybe your mom built her farm over the grave of some long-dead dragon's hoard. There was a lass in here last Rova, we figured out she wound up a sorcerer because her alchemist dad got addicted to dragon's blood! Never met a dragon his whole life; just bought the blood from a shifty-eyed dwarf, then his daughter winds up with claws and spells and a hankering for rubies.

Wouldn't have happened in my day.

Illustrations by Francesco Di Pastena, Hannah Kennedy, and Lance Red

It's not all bad. So you can't order your dragon grandma to lay waste to your enemies or claim some legendary pile of gold. Most folk can't! But see dragons impact everything they brush up against, not just people. They leave knowledge and magic and treasure wherever they go, and weirder bits, too. Dragons change the way the world works, and if you study them, you can too! There are these eccentrics in Katapesh can draw out dragon magic by worshipping dragons like gods—even turn into dragons, from what I hear! And Druma has these witches, they learn their magic by gathering up hoards of gold, no spooky deals with the powers-that-be required. Heck, we got a gladiator in this city who claims she learned to fight from a linnorm, and to see the way she tears open anyone that hits her, you'd believe it. You think you're limited without dragon blood, but the truth of the whole deal is that you're never limited just by your blood.

That's why being a genealogist is better than being well-bred!

Of course, you're still limited by your gold. Secrets don't come cheap, whether they're family indiscretions or secret techniques to tame a drake. One advantage to the many, many egotistical sorcerers who walk through those doors and hire me to peek into draconic history is that I have become quite the tidy expert of the subject—Probably the foremost in this city, at any rate—and I just happen to keep a copy all of my notes in this conveniently portable little folio. It's certainly a good deal cheaper—and less disappointing—than paying me to plot out your family tree on the off chance you have some scaly kin lurking around.

And look at the bright side: If you buy the folio, you never have to grapple with the existential dread that comes with discovering you're descended from a kobold.

Crystal Frasier
Developer