Excellent story! I have to say, so far the web fiction is 3 for 3 and I am very impressed. Getting back to your tale though, I find your writing style to be extremely satisfying. It has good flow, moving deftly between action and plot without detracting from either. Also, the humor that is interspersed in this was generally able to elicit a smile if not an outright laugh (Arduga makes for wonderful comedy relief). I clap in earnest appreciation of your success.
The only element of the story which I did find a bit perplexing is Omaire. Not as a character, she's very well designed as far as characters go and I found her observations and the use of her voice to be quite pleasing for the narrative. However, and I admit this may have just been poor reading on my part, I missed key descriptions on her appearance. If there had not been a picture of her, I wouldn't know whether she was a gnome or halfling and even now I am not certain she is a halfling as the references to her short stature could simply mean she's a vertically challenged human. As I said, I may have merely missed where that was pointed out though and my confusion as to the intricacies of her physically did not detract from my enjoyment of her as a character. Were you inclined to tell me (or anyone else who did pick up on this in the reading) I'd love to know what her race is.
You did well and I thank you for sharing this writing with us. Take care and have a great day! Keep sharing worlds!
|James Sutter Contributor|
Thanks for the clarification, James. I had read these chapters rather late and I apologize that I hadn't managed to tease that detail out on my own. It's much appreciated you took the time to let me know, adds a new set of mental images as I recall portions of the plot, lol.
Oh, speaking of the artwork, Gerald I like your depiction of Omaire. Sorry to the artists out there whose work I haven't been commenting on (I'll try to remember to do so as I keep reading through the remaining stories).
Once again, thanks James and I hope you have a great day!