I'm still fading, but not gone yet.


Off-Topic Discussions


I remember lurking on these messageboards for years before working up the nerve to post my first message in 2009. These boards had an awesome community and there was so much I wanted to say and learn about RPGs. I got thoroughly hooked on these messageboards like a junkie.

And I'm not Paizo's biggest fan. So many fans here raved about so many Paizo products while I felt that only a few of those products were all that great. But I loved the messageboards so much, I felt the pressure to show my support, so I spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on Paizo merchandise (and other products through Paizo's store).

Then in 2010, I thought I was going to lose my job. That belief made me decide to put aside RPGs and pursue cheaper hobbies. I had to suspend my Paizo wish list. My belief that I would soon be unemployed also sent me into something of a depression, discouraging me not only from buying RPG material, but also playing RPGs and posting on these boards.

But later in 2010, the president of the company found a different position for me; I didn't lose my job after all! The first thing I did to celebrate was buy stuff from Paizo's store.

So from 2009 to 2013 I was a prolific poster; I wrote over 2000 posts during those 4 years, despite that period of depression in 2010.

After that, though, I gradually lost interest in Pathfinder, in RPGs in general, and in these messageboards. In 2019, I noted that I hadn't posted even 400 messages in the previous 4 years. I still read role-playing books, but I played less and less.

I mention 2019 because that was the year I truly did lose my job and the depression returned. At the time, I figured that my days of posting on paizo.com were numbered. So I wrote a farewell in a thread I called A goodbye of a sort.

Since then, another four years have passed (or nearly that long). During those 4 years, I got another job, lost that job too, and got yet another job.

And my interest in playing RPGs has sunk even lower. I once - briefly - played in a Golarion campaign, but that was about it. But I still read RPG materials, including some by Paizo, now and then.

And during those 4 years, I wrote 70 or so posts. I check these boards less and less often, but I visit occasionally. It's like that Zeno paradox: a rate can keep getting relatively lower, indefinitely, without ever reaching zero. Maybe my goodbye was premature.

Scarab Sages

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I am not happy with just how much of the above I directly sympathize with (although there are some marked differences as well)).

This place has REALLY toxified over the last ~7 years. I no longer find it "a fun and friendly place", and attempts to "keep it" so have only exacerbated the problem ('Tumblr's Disease', let's glibly call it; an environment where you have to walk on eggshells and try to preemptively read an indefinite number of other minds is NOT a healthy one - and Paizo used to know that!)...but I've been Hiding In Your Closet for too long now to just vacate for good.

Here's to you and yours, Aaron.


I miss the activity the forums once had. I don't post as often as I used to, for sure. I hang around because I have made a few friends here and even if they don't post too often themselves, it's good to hear from them from time to time. I also understand that life happens in spite of ourselves and things often change over time.

As far as gaming goes, I still enjoy it but I've had to take a hiatus for a variety of reasons, mostly due to having been the only freaking GM for 20+ years. We'll start back up, but my crew may not like the new direction I have in mind. I guess we'll see!


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Thanks for the replies. It's good to get to interact with you again...

...particularly with you, Dungeonmaster Cal. A week or two ago, I was browsing the forums and saw a thread called What's the most anti-climactic boss fight you've ever had?. It made me think of when I ran Saga of the Shadow Lord in BECMI, back in the 1980s. Seeing the main boss, looking all tough and evil, on the front cover picture made my players feel a sense of dread. They were saying stuff like "I'll bet he has a million hit points and a ton of devastating magical attacks!" When they finally got up to him, they actually felt disappointed at how easily they destroyed him.

But then I thought: Who would want to hear a story that old? This thread was in the "Pathfinder First Edition" subforum.

When I saw your post in that thread, talking about D&D 2e, I felt a bit encouraged to post my story. But I didn't see that anyone else went that far back in time. And besides, I don't remember details of that encounter. But still, I regarded your post as the most noteworthy one in that thread.


Thank you, Aaron! There have been a few other instances, but the one shot against the BBEG is always the first one to bubble up...LOL

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