paizo.com Recent Posts in Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"paizo.com Recent Posts in Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"2023-04-13T13:49:02Z2023-04-13T13:49:02ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Mathmusehttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#312023-04-14T06:47:43Z2023-04-13T18:30:32Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">DRD1812 wrote:</div><blockquote> For those of us lucky enough to be in a relationship with a fellow gamer: Do you ever worry about the appearance of preferential treatment? </blockquote><p>My wife likes to be challenged in roleplaying games. Which is difficult, because she is a tactical genius and trains her fellow players in teamwork. She has been playing roleplaying games since she was a teenager, after an older brother brought Dungeons & Dragons home from college in 1978. And at her peak, she was in three different weekly campaigns.
<p>My wife and I used to both be players together for decades, except I had time for only one weekly campaign. She started GMing in 2010, running the Rise of the Runelords adventure path, which she borrowed from a friend. She had to stop GMing due to health problems. I was invested in the story and the modules were already in our house, so I offered to retire my character and take over as GM to finish the Rise of the Runelords. After a few weeks away for medical treatment, she rejoined the game as a player. Surprisingly, I had the temperament to become a recurring GM, also running Jade Regent, Iron Gods, and Ironfang Invasion.</p>
<p>And we raised two gamer daughters! Though they live in other states, they joined my current Ironfang Invasion campaign when we went to Roll20 virtual tabletop due to the Covid-19 pandemic. They are good at wrapping daddy around their little fingers. Two other players are our landlords: we and our best friends merged households to save money when we retired, but they are the ones who own the house. I usually just call them housemates or family.</p>
<p>The preferential treatment my wife wants is encounters that let the players show off their characters' teamwork and tactics and narrative elements that make sense. Everyone likes that. So I have no problem. </p>
<p>Another thing about a relationship with a fellow gamer is that my wife's intelligence attracts me. And she shows off that intelligence while gaming, so she is especially hot and sexy while gaming. I love being married to a gamer girl.</p>DRD1812 wrote:For those of us lucky enough to be in a relationship with a fellow gamer: Do you ever worry about the appearance of preferential treatment?
My wife likes to be challenged in roleplaying games. Which is difficult, because she is a tactical genius and trains her fellow players in teamwork. She has been playing roleplaying games since she was a teenager, after an older brother brought Dungeons & Dragons home from college in 1978. And at her peak, she was in three different weekly...Mathmuse2023-04-13T18:30:32ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Bjørn Røyrvikhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#302023-04-13T21:09:03Z2023-04-13T09:43:55Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">glass wrote:</div><blockquote> "sneak attack" does not really fit.... </blockquote><p>Depends on the person.glass wrote:"sneak attack" does not really fit....
Depends on the person.Bjørn Røyrvik2023-04-13T09:43:55ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"glasshttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#292023-04-13T08:40:33Z2023-04-13T08:40:33Z<p>What is "SA" short for? At first I thought it was a typo for "SO", but then it was used in several posts by several different posters so that seems less likely.</p>
<p>And "sneak attack" does not really fit....</p>What is "SA" short for? At first I thought it was a typo for "SO", but then it was used in several posts by several different posters so that seems less likely.
And "sneak attack" does not really fit....glass2023-04-13T08:40:33ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Missing_Ariahttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#282023-03-29T22:00:36Z2023-03-29T22:00:36Z<p>Fairly certain that all of my players who've played in games where my gf was a player would tell you I do not favor her. But I also don't unfairly punish her because that's toxic bs. </p>
<p>That said, I'm mostly running Runelords (a TON of folks really want to knock that one out) these days and I try to follow the AP as much as possible. I also tend to include special things (flavor items, plot points, bonuses for certain character backstories in certain situations) that let my players know I value all of them and am engaged in their character development. </p>
<p>If you treat your players like you appreciate them and want to know more about they're characters, this should not be an issue. </p>
<p>And, speaking as a girl who has played TTRPGs for 20 years, I would also point out that most of these situations are just bad players who are looking for reasons to be mad. I've had exactly one instance where I personally experienced my GM showing favoritism towards his gf at the table and the rest of us (players) all just left without fuss. He asked why, we told him, he admitted it was messed up to give her a Ysalamir pet (Star Wars obv), and we all moved on. I've had 2 instances where someone tried to show me preference (once a player, once a DragonCon GM) and both times I noped out of that so hard the "nice guys" are still confused about what happened. </p>
<p>Most gamer girls don't want the special treatment. We hate it. It's the TTRPG equivalent of that rando guy buying you a drink and expecting you to "give him something" in return. We're not stupid, we know that. Even when it seems like the person in question is loving the extra attention, often they just don't know how to make it stop/realize the issue yet. There are hundreds stories that show this to be true. </p>
<p>But reading through some of the comments here it's super obvious that some of y'all are why Reddit keeps getting more horror story fodder.</p>Fairly certain that all of my players who've played in games where my gf was a player would tell you I do not favor her. But I also don't unfairly punish her because that's toxic bs.
That said, I'm mostly running Runelords (a TON of folks really want to knock that one out) these days and I try to follow the AP as much as possible. I also tend to include special things (flavor items, plot points, bonuses for certain character backstories in certain situations) that let my players know I value...Missing_Aria2023-03-29T22:00:36ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Neriathalehttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#272023-03-13T11:32:40Z2023-03-12T14:02:02Z<p>My rule of thumbas a long time GM's girlfriend / occasional GM with boyfriend as player is "fine for home games, avoid for conventon games". </p>
<p>With a home group we all know each other so there are a lot of relationship group checks and balances already going on. In a group of strangers ant a con or similar it just becomes too easy to focus on the person you know amd be biased towards them.</p>My rule of thumbas a long time GM's girlfriend / occasional GM with boyfriend as player is "fine for home games, avoid for conventon games".
With a home group we all know each other so there are a lot of relationship group checks and balances already going on. In a group of strangers ant a con or similar it just becomes too easy to focus on the person you know amd be biased towards them.Neriathale2023-03-12T14:02:02ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Mightypionhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#262023-03-30T08:08:35Z2023-03-11T10:08:58Z<p>A GM who was running wotr actually invited his SA, who was studying acting and prepping for a role as Mata Hari, to roleplay Nocticula in act 4.</p>
<p>Oh boy she had us wrapped up around her finger in record time, her demand was though that she doesnt role dice ("No, interaction between sentient beings is not random!" Insert surprisingly deep philosophical argument there). She was fairly amused by the whole thing.</p>A GM who was running wotr actually invited his SA, who was studying acting and prepping for a role as Mata Hari, to roleplay Nocticula in act 4.
Oh boy she had us wrapped up around her finger in record time, her demand was though that she doesnt role dice ("No, interaction between sentient beings is not random!" Insert surprisingly deep philosophical argument there). She was fairly amused by the whole thing.Mightypion2023-03-11T10:08:58ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Azothathhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#252023-03-11T00:57:13Z2023-03-11T00:57:13Z<p>We all try to exercise good manners and be civil at games. Sometimes things go awry, there are misunderstandings, people fail. Role Playing is a classic tool to help people learn to be better at social skills.</p>
<p>If things go horribly awry and very bad to criminal behaviors start to be exhibited you have to make some hard decisions. It's not really a situation most people want to be in. Just be an adult.</p>We all try to exercise good manners and be civil at games. Sometimes things go awry, there are misunderstandings, people fail. Role Playing is a classic tool to help people learn to be better at social skills.
If things go horribly awry and very bad to criminal behaviors start to be exhibited you have to make some hard decisions. It's not really a situation most people want to be in. Just be an adult.Azothath2023-03-11T00:57:13ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"DungeonmasterCalhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#242023-03-10T22:56:05Z2023-03-10T22:56:05Z<p>Sometimes it's a thin wire to walk when gaming with an SA, especially if they're new to the hobby because you want them to have fun and be excited enough to want to continue playing. Gaming with an SA is something I've only had to deal with two or three times over the decades, though. But I've heard some absolutely terrifying stories regarding games with SAs in them. There are a couple of Youtube content creators who read gaming horror stories garnered from Reddit and personal experience and I thank the Lords of Dice those things have never happened to me.</p>Sometimes it's a thin wire to walk when gaming with an SA, especially if they're new to the hobby because you want them to have fun and be excited enough to want to continue playing. Gaming with an SA is something I've only had to deal with two or three times over the decades, though. But I've heard some absolutely terrifying stories regarding games with SAs in them. There are a couple of Youtube content creators who read gaming horror stories garnered from Reddit and personal experience and...DungeonmasterCal2023-03-10T22:56:05ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Azothathhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#232023-03-10T05:15:28Z2023-03-10T05:15:28Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Bjørn Røyrvik wrote:</div><blockquote> Again, rather modern ideas about the distinction. </blockquote><p>there is only nowBjørn Røyrvik wrote:Again, rather modern ideas about the distinction.
there is only nowAzothath2023-03-10T05:15:28ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Bjørn Røyrvikhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#222023-03-09T18:43:11Z2023-03-09T18:43:11Z<p>Again, rather modern ideas about the distinction.</p>Again, rather modern ideas about the distinction.Bjørn Røyrvik2023-03-09T18:43:11ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Azothathhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#212023-03-10T22:43:29Z2023-03-09T18:10:22Z<p>I'm pretty sure most physicists can tell the difference between art and sciency stuff... <span class=messageboard-ooc>lol</span> lawyers too but answering that question will cost you about $200...</p>I'm pretty sure most physicists can tell the difference between art and sciency stuff... lol lawyers too but answering that question will cost you about $200...Azothath2023-03-09T18:10:22ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"DeathlessOnehttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#202023-03-09T18:02:17Z2023-03-09T16:24:59Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Bjørn Røyrvik wrote:</div><blockquote>The distinction between art and skill is not at all clear and in many ways rather modern.</blockquote><p>I've always seen skill as inherent and developed talent in a particular area, while art is the creative application of said talent for a specific purpose. For writing, specifically, just about anyone can put words down and create sentences that tell a very straight forward and literal message. Art comes into play when the writer uses those words beyond their own literal meanings to paint pictures and to invoke complex, higher thought well beyond the literal meanings of the words.
<p>Art, collectively, is hard to categorize but most of us know it when we see it.</p>Bjørn Røyrvik wrote:The distinction between art and skill is not at all clear and in many ways rather modern.
I've always seen skill as inherent and developed talent in a particular area, while art is the creative application of said talent for a specific purpose. For writing, specifically, just about anyone can put words down and create sentences that tell a very straight forward and literal message. Art comes into play when the writer uses those words beyond their own literal meanings to...DeathlessOne2023-03-09T16:24:59ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Bjørn Røyrvikhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#192023-03-09T13:53:12Z2023-03-09T13:53:12Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">DeathlessOne wrote:</div><blockquote> <div class="messageboard-quotee">Azothath wrote:</div><blockquote>Writing is a SKILL.</blockquote>I'd argue that it is more of an ART than a skill, but skill does play a huge role in it. Storytelling, in pretty much all of its forms, requires a talent for it. </blockquote><p>The distinction between art and skill is not at all clear and in many ways rather modern.DeathlessOne wrote:Azothath wrote:Writing is a SKILL.
I'd argue that it is more of an ART than a skill, but skill does play a huge role in it. Storytelling, in pretty much all of its forms, requires a talent for it. The distinction between art and skill is not at all clear and in many ways rather modern.Bjørn Røyrvik2023-03-09T13:53:12ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"The Thing From Another Worldhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#182023-03-09T13:43:38Z2023-03-09T13:43:38Z<p>I was in two campaigns where preferential treatment to the SA was evident. One for 4E the second PF 1E. The first was so bad it was jaw droppingly bad. </p>
<p>The SA ran her Rogue like it was a free for all at the table. With the added bonus of making her character voice sound all squeaky like she had permanently inhaled Helium and could not remove it from her lungs. Anything and everything she did even if it was against Rawvot a bad idea was allowed. Did I forgot to mention that the rest of the table could never bring any junk food because his best friend lacked the willpower to not eat it. Was asked not to show to the game ever again by email. Truly miserable provoke who wanted to play with people who acted and behaved like themselves. </p>
<p>Second time it happened it was player with SA. I joins an existing game and two years she could not be bothered to learn most of the rules let alone what her character could do. The whole process was made even more enjoyable with the boyfriend insisting on making his Barbarian sound like Grimlock from the original Transformers series. </p>
<p>Again as the first SA anything and everything goes. Bad idea after bad idea and apparently she and the boyfriend expected neither the DM or the players to refuse let alone politely say it’s a bad idea. So instead of discussing it either group decided to have a huge meltdown instead. With the boyfriend insisting we were bad people for telling his SA that her truly objectively bad ideas were just that. </p>
<p>The DM gave the player a knife that if it skinned the creature allowed the person using it to control its skeleton. She skinned a giant and had its skeleton under her control. Except she wanted to bring it everywhere. If we’d trying to sneak into someplace like we tried it’s not going to be effective. How does anyone sneak in with a giant skeleton. It do turned off the DM from gaming he quit running anything. Why because “ you’re all being mean to me for refusing to cater to my needs at the table”.</p>
<p>So yes I rather not post with an SA at the table. Not without any written guarantees thst either as a DM or player they’re going to be objective to either or.</p>I was in two campaigns where preferential treatment to the SA was evident. One for 4E the second PF 1E. The first was so bad it was jaw droppingly bad.
The SA ran her Rogue like it was a free for all at the table. With the added bonus of making her character voice sound all squeaky like she had permanently inhaled Helium and could not remove it from her lungs. Anything and everything she did even if it was against Rawvot a bad idea was allowed. Did I forgot to mention that the rest of the...The Thing From Another World2023-03-09T13:43:38ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"DeathlessOnehttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#172023-03-08T18:19:01Z2023-03-08T18:19:01Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Azothath wrote:</div><blockquote>Writing is a SKILL.</blockquote><p>I'd argue that it is more of an ART than a skill, but skill does play a huge role in it. Storytelling, in pretty much all of its forms, requires a talent for it.Azothath wrote:Writing is a SKILL.
I'd argue that it is more of an ART than a skill, but skill does play a huge role in it. Storytelling, in pretty much all of its forms, requires a talent for it.DeathlessOne2023-03-08T18:19:01ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Azothathhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#162023-03-08T18:51:59Z2023-03-08T18:16:18Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">DRD1812 wrote:</div><blockquote> <div class="messageboard-quotee">Azothath wrote:</div><blockquote>Realize that people will assess to some degree the political and social dynamics of your group and thus responses will vary. </blockquote><p>That is the hardest thing about this forum (or EN World, or your subreddit of choice, or whatever). Context and nuance just don't come across in a text-based anecdote, and the micro-culture of any particular gaming table usually fails to translate.
<p>Given all that, how do you even begin to give successful advice to someone in a "looking for perspective from the community" kind of question? </blockquote><p>Writing is a SKILL. It's hard to convey exactly what you mean and want the reader to interpret AND given the nature of language is rather culturally specific. I think teaching helps you model the student's intellectual methodology in a one on one session. Take Harry Potter series, the author had a <b>totally</b> different take on the protagonist than the vast majority of readers AND the PR. So much for RAI (LoL).
<p>I think the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lowest_common_denominator" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">LCD</a> here is bored and wanting to be heard. We all know that people tend to pop-off when angry, irritated, or complaining. They tend to be silent when content or happy.</p>
<p>IF you take an online board to be your peer group... <b>don't</b>. It needs to be real fleshy people that you talk to and socialize with in Real Life.</p>DRD1812 wrote:Azothath wrote:Realize that people will assess to some degree the political and social dynamics of your group and thus responses will vary.
That is the hardest thing about this forum (or EN World, or your subreddit of choice, or whatever). Context and nuance just don't come across in a text-based anecdote, and the micro-culture of any particular gaming table usually fails to translate. Given all that, how do you even begin to give successful advice to someone in a "looking for...Azothath2023-03-08T18:16:18ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"DRD1812https://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#152023-03-08T16:40:35Z2023-03-08T16:40:35Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Azothath wrote:</div><blockquote>Realize that people will assess to some degree the political and social dynamics of your group and thus responses will vary. </blockquote><p>That is the hardest thing about this forum (or EN World, or your subreddit of choice, or whatever). Context and nuance just don't come across in a text-based anecdote, and the micro-culture of any particular gaming table usually fails to translate.
<p>Given all that, how do you even begin to give successful advice to someone in a "looking for perspective from the community" kind of question?</p>Azothath wrote:Realize that people will assess to some degree the political and social dynamics of your group and thus responses will vary.
That is the hardest thing about this forum (or EN World, or your subreddit of choice, or whatever). Context and nuance just don't come across in a text-based anecdote, and the micro-culture of any particular gaming table usually fails to translate. Given all that, how do you even begin to give successful advice to someone in a "looking for perspective...DRD18122023-03-08T16:40:35ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Azothathhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#142023-02-06T23:24:29Z2023-02-06T23:18:57Z<p>in a follow-up, this is one of those social things where you have to listen carefully to your group as your emotions, close companions, and possibly blood relations are involved (and humans aren't particularly good and staying objective or even rational under those conditions). Realize that people will assess to some degree the political and social dynamics of your group and thus responses will vary. If someone is unhappy this may just be the strawman they've hung their emotions on, so exercise compassion and critical thinking... being a GM isn't always just about the game.</p>in a follow-up, this is one of those social things where you have to listen carefully to your group as your emotions, close companions, and possibly blood relations are involved (and humans aren't particularly good and staying objective or even rational under those conditions). Realize that people will assess to some degree the political and social dynamics of your group and thus responses will vary. If someone is unhappy this may just be the strawman they've hung their emotions on, so...Azothath2023-02-06T23:18:57ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Sigrid the Nimble (alias of CucumberTree)https://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#132023-02-06T13:18:35Z2023-02-06T13:18:35Z<p>dot</p>dotSigrid the Nimble (alias of CucumberTree)2023-02-06T13:18:35ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"DeathlessOnehttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#122023-02-05T18:34:54Z2023-02-05T18:34:54Z<p>I've been gaming with my wife for nearly eight years now (one year before we were married). I don't think I've struggled with any kind of preferential treatment with her. When I am in GM mode, I tend to lose focus on who the players are and I see them more as avatars for their characters. It helps that we are all a close group of friends and, when we play our characters, our own personal preferences and habitual ways of speaking seems to alter to suit the characters. Even or humor tends to fluctuate from our social norms, myself most of all. </p>
<p>I am aware that other groups might struggle with these sorts of things, but it is really not something that I have experienced at my home games in the last ten years (or longer). Even in the online games that I play in, I've rarely had to deal with feelings of unfair treatment.</p>I've been gaming with my wife for nearly eight years now (one year before we were married). I don't think I've struggled with any kind of preferential treatment with her. When I am in GM mode, I tend to lose focus on who the players are and I see them more as avatars for their characters. It helps that we are all a close group of friends and, when we play our characters, our own personal preferences and habitual ways of speaking seems to alter to suit the characters. Even or humor tends to...DeathlessOne2023-02-05T18:34:54ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Azothathhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#112023-02-03T22:28:57Z2023-02-03T21:19:36Z<p>a least you are aware of the issue.
<br />
"every time I sit down to write up content for my significant other." Wha??? Professionally or in your Home Game? Writing specific content is a form of favoritism with the goal of incorporating your players goals/plots and at worst pandering. So long as it is equally spread out and doesn't take over your plotting or scene, it's fine.
<br />
As a double check just audit your player's sheets and compare total gold(including magic costs) and XP. If everyone is within 7% or so you are fine. It's just a check but gold and XP are integral to the system.</p>
<p>As humans are eusocial and the game is a long BS session, it's inevitable that some personalities will feel closer to others. Competition and cooperation are basic competing strategies in nature.</p>
<p>Maybe you can play <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBYV_7a0FQs" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">muskrat luv</a> in the background?... ^⨀ᴥ⨀^</p>a least you are aware of the issue.
"every time I sit down to write up content for my significant other." Wha??? Professionally or in your Home Game? Writing specific content is a form of favoritism with the goal of incorporating your players goals/plots and at worst pandering. So long as it is equally spread out and doesn't take over your plotting or scene, it's fine.
As a double check just audit your player's sheets and compare total gold(including magic costs) and XP. If everyone is within...Azothath2023-02-03T21:19:36ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Joynt Jezebelhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#102023-03-09T17:03:10Z2023-02-03T18:03:23Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Melkiador wrote:</div><blockquote> So many people build their characters as lone orphans, so their family can't be used against them. I see things from the other side. If my family is being used against me, then I'm important to the story. </blockquote><p>Melkiador- that might be the case if you were a human or halfling or something.
<p>But you are a f###ing crocodile.</p>
<p>Crocodiles lay gigantic piles of eggs that result in gazillions of tiny, almost microscopic crocodiles. The overwhelming majority of these get eaten by birds, fish, snakes and most of all, especially once they reach any decent size, other crocodiles.</p>
<p>The way to use a crocodile's family against them is to get hold of a younger member, poison it and toss it in the water near you. You will then eat it and become an ex-crocodile, an un-crocodile that has ceased to be. A stiff mate.</p>Melkiador wrote:So many people build their characters as lone orphans, so their family can't be used against them. I see things from the other side. If my family is being used against me, then I'm important to the story.
Melkiador- that might be the case if you were a human or halfling or something. But you are a f###ing crocodile.
Crocodiles lay gigantic piles of eggs that result in gazillions of tiny, almost microscopic crocodiles. The overwhelming majority of these get eaten by birds,...Joynt Jezebel2023-02-03T18:03:23ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Melkiadorhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#92023-02-03T15:41:14Z2023-02-03T15:40:19Z<p>There was another prolific poster who used this same avatar, but I can't remember his name. We mostly didn't post at the same time.</p>
<p>Something I should have mentioned is that a character with preferential attention can often also receive preferential treatment because of that attention. If a story hook is based around a single character, you can't exactly have that character go and die. At least not until their life has served its story purpose.</p>
<p>On a slightly related topic, I often encourage character attention from the GM by giving my characters family and loved ones. So many people build their characters as lone orphans, so their family can't be used against them. I see things from the other side. If my family is being used against me, then I'm important to the story.</p>There was another prolific poster who used this same avatar, but I can't remember his name. We mostly didn't post at the same time.
Something I should have mentioned is that a character with preferential attention can often also receive preferential treatment because of that attention. If a story hook is based around a single character, you can't exactly have that character go and die. At least not until their life has served its story purpose.
On a slightly related topic, I often encourage...Melkiador2023-02-03T15:40:19ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Joynt Jezebelhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#82023-02-03T15:35:15Z2023-02-03T15:22:40Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Melkiador wrote:</div><blockquote> Like, a specific character never suffers any danger, while those around them are constantly dying or nearly dying. Or worse, a specific character gets all the best loot, usually because it has been tailor made for their character. </blockquote><p>Melkiador, everything you say is true imho. I seem to remember a Melkiador who was on these forums around a decade ago when I was really active here. And he always seemed to have his screwed on the right way, which is a little odd for a reptile.
<p>Or maybe it was someone with a similar name or ikon.</p>
<p>One thing all you say is most of these phenomena are just not good enough on the GMs part. Generally anyway.</p>
<p>When I can see paying very different attention to players is in a similar situation to what I encountered coaching at my old chess club some years back.</p>
<p>I had one dream student named David Barry. He was young, ambitious, somewhat socially isolated so gave a lot of time to chess, worked hard on his game and was playing multiple rated games a week. I took him from around 1100 to around 1750 in 18 months, which included some breaks.</p>
<p>If you know what the numbers mean, and most of you will not, no I am not the world's best chess coach and Magnus Carlsen did not become world champion because he sacked Kasparov as coach and got me instead. David made huge progress because he worked hard, did nearly everything I told him to and came every week, always on time. A coach is like a teacher, you can help someone to learn but you can do little by yourself.</p>
<p>The only other person who came more than once or twice was Lucian Penis, who showed up infrequently and always late.</p>
<p>Naturally, after a while I essentially taught David and anyone else there mostly just listened though I was polite and answered questions. Before long, anything David didn't already know was way beyond anyone else who showed up.</p>
<p>Sometimes RPG campaigns have their Davids, dedicated players always there and attentive, and others who show up sometimes and pay attention sometimes. The GM is justified in giving his dedicated players more attention.</p>
<p>Otherwise playing favourites is among the worst GM flaws.</p>Melkiador wrote:Like, a specific character never suffers any danger, while those around them are constantly dying or nearly dying. Or worse, a specific character gets all the best loot, usually because it has been tailor made for their character.
Melkiador, everything you say is true imho. I seem to remember a Melkiador who was on these forums around a decade ago when I was really active here. And he always seemed to have his screwed on the right way, which is a little odd for a reptile. Or...Joynt Jezebel2023-02-03T15:22:40ZRe: Forums/Pathfinder First Edition: General Discussion: Preferential Treatment to "The GM's Girlfriend"Melkiadorhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs43r4o?Preferential-Treatment-to-The-GMs-Girlfriend#72023-02-03T14:33:06Z2023-02-03T14:33:06Z<p>Maybe multiple issues here. I think there is a difference in preferential treatment and preferential attention. Either can be problematic, but in different ways and different amounts.</p>
<p>Preferential attention is when a certain character is the star of the show. All plots center around such a character. This is most common when a character is the "chosen one". It's actually not terrible for a hook to start the party on their way, but one character should never be narratively more important than the others throughout the entirety of an adventure.</p>
<p>Preferential treatment is usually more about gaining mechanical advantages. Like, a specific character never suffers any danger, while those around them are constantly dying or nearly dying. Or worse, a specific character gets all the best loot, usually because it has been tailor made for their character.</p>Maybe multiple issues here. I think there is a difference in preferential treatment and preferential attention. Either can be problematic, but in different ways and different amounts.
Preferential attention is when a certain character is the star of the show. All plots center around such a character. This is most common when a character is the "chosen one". It's actually not terrible for a hook to start the party on their way, but one character should never be narratively more important than...Melkiador2023-02-03T14:33:06Z