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Reviving this because my players just about killed me last session.
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Rogue: "Ah, I see the Lamp Eaters are here."
Monk: "...Lamp... Eaters...?"
Rogue: "I've thought of several epitaphs for them, that's one of the more polite ones."
Monk: "Do you mean epithets?"
Rogue: "No, I don't."
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Barbarian: "After careful consideration, I think we should take her offer."
Monk: "Yes, I can see you've been deep in thought; we are an hour into dinner and there are only five empty plates stacked next to you."
Sorceress: "Actually I've been eating them."
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In my most recent Alkenstar session, one of my PCs was disappointed that rodeo clowns weren't actual clowns. Another PC, our witch, wanted to fix this.
Now, imagine you're a normal guy in Alkenstar working as a rodeo clown, and this lady walks up to you. She's wearing raggedy clothes, a rats nest of dark hair, is wearing a vulture skull on her hip, and sounds like she's smoked a pack a day for longer than she's been alive. She gets right up in your face and says:
"I am going to clownify you."
Couple out of character ones.
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Player: Oh no, you are too good at characterizing NPCs, I already love them. ...I'm going to kill them now, though.
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Player A: So do we find out the results tonight?
Me: Well, unless this third poll also ends up tied, yes.
Player B: That reminds me, I think I need to change my vote.
Me: And this is why I gave you guys two weeks to discuss this...
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And one in character:
Sorcerer: "Flying dragon kick" just sounded cool, I swear I didn't know he was an actual dragon!
Ship Owner: Sure I can take you across. It'll cost you though.
Player A: Excuse me? Do you know who we are? Who pays your taxes!
Player B: Pretty sure he pays his taxes?