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Even a purchased module may have maps and descriptions that don't agree. In any case, you can roll till you get one tht makes some sense, pick one out, or just answer a stupid question with a stupid answer.
01: Because, Magic!
02: Because I'm the GM!
03: It's an anomaly!
04: There's a portal that opened up above to let in the weather, Roc talon, or whatever.
05: Roll DC20 to detect traps or you fall through the trap door into the too huge room!
06: The path leads through an invisible portal to a demiplane.
07: The permanent teleportation circle works even through the rug or dirt covering it. Of course it won't teleport earth elementals.
08: Eris made this dungeon. It's not supposed to make sense.
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09: It was like that when I bought it!
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26. Maps, schmaps.
27. Hey, who are you gonna believe, your GM or your own eyes?
28. Suddenly, you find yourself teleported to the Tomb of Horrors...
29. Wait, no... In the center of the room is an orc. It is guarding a pie.
30. The room shifts. You are now find yourselves outdoors at the edge of a clearing. In the center of the clearing is the Dread Gazebo. Roll for initiative.
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31. You see the initials BSJ on the wall and realize you're in a dungeon designed by Bergholt Stuttley Johnson
32. Roll to disbelieve
33. A noise from next to the conflicted area turns out to be kobolds working rapidly with painting gear and paper wall paste.
34. The parties' mapmaker shrugs and says "I knew you'd catch on sooner or later" before turning back into a succubus then disappearing, leaving the unconscious body of the real mapmaker on the ground before you.
35. A haze rises up from the floor blocking all vision. When it dissipates you see the true room before you, containing...
36: Every character, PC or NPC, can roll a heal check, DC12, to detect the character trying to pick apart the game, is an insane obsessive, compulsive.
51:This was playtested by a psycho!
52:This IS the playtest!
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53: One more crack like that and I'm rolling on the "Wandering Damage Table!"
54: The wizard points to the magic ring your uncle found 30 years ago and says, "That is an ancient artifact of terrible evil! You must bring it to Mount Flaming Death in the Land of Bad and cast it into the lava from whence it was forged..." No, I toally wrote this adventure myself!
55. What? You don't like this adventure? Fine. There's a bright flash and you find yourselves standing in a gladiatorial arena. A voice booms out, "YOU HAVE BEEN SUMMONED TO THE ARENA OF THE GODS! YOU WILL FIGHT EACH OTHER TO THE DEATH FOR OUR AMUSEMENT!!" Happy now?
56. GM: And you find yourselves surrounded by ogres!
Player: Wait? How? We were being guarded by Mordenkainen's faithful watchdog!
GM: No you weren't. You never cast the spell.
Player: I did! I totally did! When we were back in town you asked if we wanted to buy any new equipment, and I said 'No,' but I then said I gathered all the material components I needed to cast Mordenkainen's faithful watchdog!
GM: Yes, but you never said you were actually casting the spell, so you didn't and now there's ogres. Got it? Roll for initiative.
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57:"Naming everything is a waste of my time."
58:"You don't have that knowledge skill."
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59:"I prefer rulings over rules."
60. It must be a typo. Oh did it say you travel 200 miles in 4 days by walking. Oh, they meant 20 miles, they accidently added a zero.
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61: My card is suddenly rejecting all online purchases.
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62. The elementals stop pretending to be walls.
63. Do you know what a tesseract is?
64. Sorry, you're muted. Next?
65. Dave, you've been playing RPGs for over 35 years now and the d20 system since 2001. I am not going to explain it to you ever again that yes, a d20 is what you use for initiatives, saving throws, skill checks, ability checks, and attacks. If I have to, your character will be eaten by a grue. Please, write it down on something. (This actually was a thing up until only a couple of years ago).
66.The time loop was in the past so it could be as big as the entire dungeon.
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67. That's actually a shadow mimic pretending to be a hallway/door/trap. Totally harmless as it feasts on shadows exclusively, leaving the creature that cast it unharmed but unnerved. Minor nuisance is all and a bit disruptive after your rogue's torch stops casting a shadow. They do make fantastic pets for a machinist or clockmaker though.
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68. Nobody knows!
69. Fnord.
70. You are not cleared for that.
71. "The results of this die roll was random gibberish"
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72."It fits by overwriting the whole dungeon!"
73.Sorry. Made that post with a tablet.
74. local Gremlins infestation.
75.A huge rock can be in a small room. Google it.
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76. Well, clearly the ridiculously large falling block was invisible until you triggered the trap. That's why you couldn't see it looming over the castle before you went in.
(This was an actual excuse by one of my past GMs about some nonsense in A Fine TSR Product[TM] that we noticed, during play, before he did.)
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77.The whole party was sucked into a microworld. It's a planet in subspace.
78.The dictionary says it's a bug!
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80: You wake up in Maretine Bay while your radio plays "Everything you know is wrong!" by Cheese Sandwich.
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81:No Tyler, you cannot turn this campaign into a porn flick. Go GM your own game.
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82:Nothing in the core books says deeper darkness blocks glitterdust so it's open to GM interpretation.
83:This is a FRPG, not fantasy island.
84:"Well that is new information." This happened to me when I tried to GM without understanding combat maneuvers. I thought you just find a skill that sort of covers it. Is it CMB or CMD?
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85. Because I can squat 1.5x my bodyweight and I will flip this table if the argument goes on another second.
(┛ಠ_ಠ)┛彡┻━┻
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86: This adventure was AI generated. That should have been a red flag right from the start.
87. You're saying the monster can't possibly fit through the door? Well, obviously it was smaller when it first got here. Then it grew fat on adventurers who asked stupid questions. Oh, hey, it looks pretty hungry! Roll for initiative...
88. Player: But...but...this hallway goes right through where the map says that room is. So where are we really?
GM: Congratulations, you've just discovered that space is curved. Make a Will save vs. insanity...
89: You just discovered a paradox. You can report it to the clergy of a time god and they will give you a cert for a raise dead. They'll take care of it.
90: A continent sized dessert doesn't make sense! I meant desert.
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90: A continent sized dessert doesn't make sense! I meant desert.
It's a tiraMASSu!
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91: Why are you singling me out? I'm just doing what my Non-Player Characters would do.
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91: Why are you singling me out? I'm just doing what my Non-Player Characters would do.
Oh man... I said this once to one of those asshat players who would always wreck campaigns using the "it's what my character would do" excuse.
He did not understand. The look on his face was like watching a hamster trying to do calculus. Like, it genuinely baffled him that anyone else in the world (real or imagined) would behave like he did and then use his excuse.
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91: Why are you singling me out? I'm just doing what my Non-Player Characters would do.Oh man... I said this once to one of those asshat players who would always wreck campaigns using the "it's what my character would do" excuse.
He did not understand. The look on his face was like watching a hamster trying to do calculus. Like, it genuinely baffled him that anyone else in the world (real or imagined) would behave like he did and then use his excuse.
I am honestly, truly not surprised.
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92: "I'm not a killer GM. I just want combat to be more realistic."