DungeonmasterCal's House of Respite


Off-Topic Discussions

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Fantasy Monster: Clockwork casket.

Not a mimic.


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I recently underwent an operation that turned out terribly. The surgeon is an X-Men fan who really did not want to be practicing medicine. No, his true passion is Italian cooking, especially making his own noodles. Unfortunately, his obsession led him to very unorthodox methods, including sewing up my wound with linguine. Since then, I've been wandering around unable to focus on anything.

I returned to the incompetent surgeon, and he quipped: "Oh, that's just Daze of Suture Pasta."

HiYO!

I'll show myself out.


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*sigh*

So my twin elf sister finally went past the dark line, used a magical jewel to summon one of the Nazguls and bargained with him for destruction of a powerful Nameless monster sitting underneath the ruined city we were visiting (after the Nameless thing overwhelmed the minds of the citizens living in a township that rose on the side of the ruins) in exchange for her service to him (she has the gift or prophecy that the Nazgul in question looked for).

Despite the fact that I managed to solve the problem by reactivating ancient magical wards that kept the Nameless thing bound underneath the city (stupid Numenoreans kepts the thing bound and studied it).


Those danged Numenoreans. I swear...


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quibblemuch wrote:

I recently underwent an operation that turned out terribly. The surgeon is an X-Men fan who really did not want to be practicing medicine. No, his true passion is Italian cooking, especially making his own noodles. Unfortunately, his obsession led him to very unorthodox methods, including sewing up my wound with linguine. Since then, I've been wandering around unable to focus on anything.

I returned to the incompetent surgeon, and he quipped: "Oh, that's just Daze of Suture Pasta."

HiYO!

I'll show myself out.

I literally laughed so loudly I startled the dog AND the cat. That was brilliant.


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Well, the technical analysis is complete from the object downed just off the NC coast recently.

It was a giant peach, crewed by some British kid and a bunch of enormous insects. No apology yet from the British PM.


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Those blasted Brits and their giant fruit!


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DungeonmasterCal wrote:

Those blasted Brits and their giant fruit!

Right? This whole time they’re all like “We’re just a bunch of jolly chaps who drink tea and bake in tents” and it was all a ruse to cover an enormous aerial fruit armada, hell bent on taking back the colonies for King and Country! And we almost fell for it…


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quibblemuch wrote:

Well, the technical analysis is complete from the object downed just off the NC coast recently.

It was a giant peach, crewed by some British kid and a bunch of enormous insects. No apology yet from the British PM.

Mutant fruit and Thi-Kreen are our only vaguely profitable exports at the moment.

Plus, we don't want Florida - too much work. Give it back to Spain.


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Limeylongears wrote:
quibblemuch wrote:

Well, the technical analysis is complete from the object downed just off the NC coast recently.

It was a giant peach, crewed by some British kid and a bunch of enormous insects. No apology yet from the British PM.

Mutant fruit and Thi-Kreen are our only vaguely profitable exports at the moment.

Plus, we don't want Florida - too much work. Give it back to Spain.

I called Spain to tell them to take it back. Upshot: I now know a LOT of Spanish profanity and how to say “no backsies”.

Blast it all, we’re NEVER getting rid of that peninsula. It’s like an unsightly growth that somehow has too many blood vessels in it so a surgeon can’t just whack it clear. Ugh.


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This little exchange has made my entire weekend worth the migraine...LOL


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Where is Lorena Bobbitt when we need her?


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Dancing Wind wrote:
Where is Lorena Bobbitt when we need her?

Well that reference is a deep cut…


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Fantasy Monster: Clockwork Gibbet. For capture, storage, and transportation of prisoners, intruders, and thieves adventurers.


Drejk wrote:
Fantasy Monster: Clockwork Gibbet. For capture, storage, and transportation of prisoners, intruders, and thieves adventurers.

That...that's diabolical. Don't ever stop.


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Fantasy Monster: Clockwork Volcano.

Initially, I envisioned it as smaller, home-made project... It grew from an apprentice-grade creation into an actual war machine.


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Fantasy Monsters: Clockwork Calendarium

A big honking mechanical calendar that was supposed to be a weather controlling device.


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Fantasy NPC: Abbot Serenity. An abbot of a contemplative, though not ascetic monastery, with a secret of his own- he might stick his nose into lives of his monks, but he has secret of his own.


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So how is everyone doing? Things here at Sweet Home Calabama are pretty good, though I have a temporary roommate, my son's best friend. Popey (which is what he was called by friends going all the way back to middle school. His real last name is Pope) had moved to Texas two years ago to get to know his bio dad, which turned out as badly as we predicted. He abandoned Popey at birth and never contacted him again until he was 16. Turns out his dad is still a piece of crap. So, he moved back home.

My son and his gf, in the process of purchasing my duplex and then planning on moving into the other half, don't have room for him at their current place, so he's staying with me. He's grown up a lot over the last two years and my son's mom and I are quite proud of him. His plan is to move into the place my son vacates once he moves next door. As good a kid (kid, hell...he's 30) I don't function well if I have to share my living space. My mental and emotional health begin to falter and slide downward after a pretty short time, so hopefully everything goes well with the purchase of the duplex.

So, things aren't bad, could be a little better, and should be improving even more.

Update me on things with you!


I feel like right now work and family stuff is keeping me too busy to assess how I'm doing. I'm... probably fine? Nothing comes to mind, except that I don't have enough downtime. It's probably not the healthiest mindframe to be in.

Also, I have a sty on my lower eyelid. Again. I had one removed from the same spot a few years ago, and (ironically) the numbing shot in that sensitive area is very painful. I didn't want to go through that again, so I followed my eye doctor's recommendations of antibiotics, a warm compress every night, and lid scrubs, but there's been very little improvement after four or five months. It's pretty uncomfortable, and if left untreated it will grow to be very noticeable when people talk to me. So after the last visit, where the doctor didn't really sound terribly confident in her next suggestion (a "lid massager"), I made the call to have it removed. That won't happen for a few weeks. It will still be painful, I'm sure, but I'd rather deal with that for a few moments than with more months of treatments that aren't working.


DungeonmasterCal wrote:
I don't function well if I have to share my living space. My mental and emotional health begin to falter and slide downward after a pretty short time, so hopefully everything goes well with the purchase of the duplex.

I also hope the purchase goes smoothly, Cal. Do the people in your life know how someone living with you affects you? You've mentioned that before, but I'm curious.


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Brain... full... of pollen... yellow dust... clogging every crevasse... of my thinking parts... avenge... me...


Yesterday I gorged on a pizza for the first time in... Half a year? Pizza prices skyrocketed in the last two years, sadly.

I am not young anymore, I would eat that 2 feet pizza in a day years ago. Now? I ate 3/4th and I still feel it in my belly, almost a day later.


Drejk wrote:

Yesterday I gorged on a pizza for the first time in... Half a year? Pizza prices skyrocketed in the last two years, sadly.

I am not young anymore, I would eat that 2 feet pizza in a day years ago. Now? I ate 3/4th and I still feel it in my belly, almost a day later.

Buffet style restaurants once feared my name. Now they whisper behind my back about "that guy who was once asked to leave after his fifth trip to the buffet tables".


quibblemuch wrote:
Brain... full... of pollen... yellow dust... clogging every crevasse... of my thinking parts... avenge... me...

I'm not one who normally suffers from spring time allergies. Normally. This year, however, I think I'm dying. Compared to anyone else who deals with this crap annually, I'm a big baby. But I'm not used to this. I think the redbud trees alongside my house are avenging the cutting off of two of their branches last weekend.


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Andostre wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
I don't function well if I have to share my living space. My mental and emotional health begin to falter and slide downward after a pretty short time, so hopefully everything goes well with the purchase of the duplex.
I also hope the purchase goes smoothly, Cal. Do the people in your life know how someone living with you affects you? You've mentioned that before, but I'm curious.

They know. The temp roomie is my son's best friend. Me and my ex-wife were basically the parents he never really had. Luke (Pope is his last name and he's been called Popey by all of us since junior high) called me and asked if he could stay until he saved up money for his own place and it looks like he's moving into my son's current apartment as they move out. He knows I start to get the crazy eye soon after someone moves in, so he's hustling. He had a job waiting on him when he got back here from Texas and I'm not charging him much to stay as I wanted him to get out faster.


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You never know. Maybe he'll get a job in the Merchant Navy and become Popey the Sailor Man.


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Fantasy NPC: Monks Of Saint Ivor's Monastery

The most colorful of them, at least.


Drejk wrote:

Fantasy NPC: Monks Of Saint Ivor's Monastery

The most colorful of them, at least.

That's a really nice and motley assortment of characters. I especially like Sister Pearl's story. It would really easy to drop her into my setting.


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DungeonmasterCal wrote:
Drejk wrote:

Fantasy NPC: Monks Of Saint Ivor's Monastery

The most colorful of them, at least.

That's a really nice and motley assortment of characters. I especially like Sister Pearl's story. It would really easy to drop her into my setting.

Initially, I intended to the pretender to be explicitly a simulacrum of hers, but I left it ambiguous.


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Drejk wrote:

Fantasy NPC: Monks Of Saint Ivor's Monastery

The most colorful of them, at least.

I'm calling it: Postulant Scale is secretly Pun-Pun the Infinite.


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Hey, all. I just wanted to share that my living situation is secure now. My son's girlfriend bought the duplex where I live and will be moving into the other half. Now I just have to hope they don't break up...LOL

Thanks to everyone who offered up well wishes and good vibes, as well as BIG thanks for listening to me carry on about things. Sweet Home Calabama endures.


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Excellent news!


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Fantasy Monster: Infernal Consort

A match for the villain made in Hell.


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Drejk wrote:

Fantasy Monster: Infernal Consort

A match for the villain made in Hell.

I would name mine Patty, for reasons.


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Patty.

Beef Patty.


Drejk wrote:

Patty.

Beef Patty.

Welp, I just debeveraged.


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Fantasy Monster: Unhatched One.

An undead draconic egg!


Holy draconic omelet!


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I'd dispute the 'holy' part...


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It was more of an exclamation like Robin in the campy 1960s Adam West Batman series.


Drejk wrote:

Fantasy Monster: Unhatched One.

An undead draconic egg!

WOW!!


Now that my housing situation is finally secure, I can turn my attention back to gaming stuff (the anxiety of not knowing my future was agonizing). Unfortunately, the ideas I'm having for the return to gaming do not in any way have anything to do with the campaign we put on hiatus.

I think I've whined about it being a revamped version of an earlier campaign that, although the concept is actually really good, I just didn't have any interest in running, so the first crack at it ended up as one giant cluster foxtrot. But it became obvious the story lines I came up with for its successor didn't seem to interest the party. So, I agreed to retool the campaign, start it over at first level, and give it another chance. We've managed to run four sessions with it over the span of nearly two years (thanks, COVID) and I am just not inspired in the least and I can already see it lying down in the woods and dying like a sick animal.

Everything keeps pointing to the fact that our game world, having always been a cooperative thing with ideas contributed by everyone for 33 years now, has vast regions where we've never adventured. Every idea I keep coming up with points to the part of the world that is its equivalent of what we know of in the real world as The Far East (China, Korea, Mongolia, Japan, etc), where the dominant race by far is Hobgoblin (I can trace the origin of that idea all the way back to AD&D 1st Edition as the Monster Manual entry's illustration for Hobgoblins had them wearing samurai-type armor). Also, the Hobgoblins in our setting are a homebrewed race that's not like the one presented in Pathfinder very much at all. I did fall victim once to total fanboyism after "Star Trek III: The Search for Spock" came out and I modeled them almost completely after the Klingons, but I've dialed that back a lot since then. Then the Mongolian folk metal band, The HU, exploded onto the world and that just freakin' clinched it. I just have to run adventures in our version of the setting.

There have been tons of fair to middling RPG versions of Asian settings over the years and I happily cherry pick from them (although Kara-Tur just left a bad taste in my brain and I won't use that). I've taken bits and pieces of "Heroes of the Jade Oath", "Dragon Fist" (which used an early version of the d20 system), Tian Xia, and Rokugan (the world of "The Legend of The Five Rings" game which, if you didn't know, had a d20 version early on in the D&D3.x years). Our setting isn't completely pilfered, though, and the bulk of it does come from my fevered brain. I will admit to not having names for the different countries in mind, even after all these years, so I may default to the ones from either Pathfinder or Heroes of the Jade Oath (none of my players will know as I'm the only one who does any game stuff outside our sessions).

Thanks for letting me ramble on, gang. If anyone has any ideas they want to contribute, please feel free to do so!


Andostre wrote:
I have a sty on my lower eyelid. Again.

Did you get that sty taken care of?


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It's a ways off, but this might interest you

Tian Xia.

Especially the Lost Omens Tian Xia World Guide.


Dancing Wind wrote:

It's a ways off, but this might interest you

Tian Xia.

Especially the Lost Omens Tian Xia World Guide.

Thanks!!!


DungeonmasterCal wrote:
Andostre wrote:
I have a sty on my lower eyelid. Again.
Did you get that sty taken care of?

I did, thanks for asking! It's the second time I've had a sty removed in exactly the same spot. The first time I had it removed without any idea how painful it would be. Indeed, the doctor only said, "Okay, this is going to hurt," a couple seconds before she inserted the syringe into my lower eyelid for (ironically) the numbing medicine. That was... I don't know... 5 or 6 years ago, I guess.

When the sty came back a second time, late last year, I tried out some of the other treatments for it, such as antibiotics, and regularly applying heat. Those helped, but it never fully went away. I finally decided just to have it removed again, and that happened last week.

It didn't hurt nearly as much this time! It was more of a severe stinging than the intense pain I felt last time. I have a bruise under my eye, but that's the only lingering effect, and it's nearly gone.

At their suggestion, I asked them to do a biopsy of the sty to see if they can tell why it's so persistent.


The biopsy is a good idea, as it came back and all.

Several years ago, I had a "pre-cancerous squamosal growth" on the inside of my right forearm. I had it removed, left a pale pink scar, easy-peasy.

Two years ago, one appeared on my left forearm in the exact same position. Same diagnosis. Brand new pink scar. I now have to have a screening every two years "just in case".


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Fantasy Monster: Wandstorm


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Ah, The Rod of Wonder. So many fond, hilarious memories...

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