This is a pretty simple request. Is 16 Int too low for a Grapple-focused White-Haired Witch?
Kraken Style and the Greater Grapple line need Dex 13 and Wis 13. I think I'll need Feral Combat Training too? Not 100% sure.
Kinda wanted Blood Drinker, but on a class without bonus feats I'm doubting it'll happen. Plus 1 subtype is a hard pick.
Feats wind up:
Improved Unarmed
Improved Grapple
Greater Grapple
Kraken Style
Kraken Throttle
Kraken Wrack
Weapon Focus (Hair)
Feral Combat Training
Which is 8/10 not including Rogue Talent supplements. Plus 1/2 BAB will probably level throttle those choices hard. It pretty much rules out getting the Stunning Fist, Jawbreaker, Bonebreaker, Neckbreaker that I really wanted for the build (BAB +8 req for Stunning means min level 16, which isn't a feat level). Grabbing Style was also appealing, but no Flurry and again, BAB limitations rule that out.
Anyway, I kinda wanna play the character as a Vetala Born Dhampir, since I've never used a variant subtype before. That and I like their weakness better. They get +2 Dex and Wis, so minimal investment to get my feat choices, but they take an Int penaltt of -2, capping me at 16. The Jiang-Shi Born get Int and Dex, but Wis penalty, so needing to invest more into there means 7 point buy investment to get up to par, and thus a 19 int max, which is appealing but Sonic vulnerability is gross. Plus their description doesn't fit the character concept.
Not above a different race since the Blood Drinker route is locked off. Will miss the +2 pin trait though.
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I would just skip the Kraken Style chain as it really seems useless to you and requires a stupid investment into Wis.
I would maximise Int and Dex and choose a race that enhances these stats. High Int means high damage, more and stronger spells and more skills. Pick Weapon Finesse to use Dex when doing maneuvers and attacks with your hair, so Dex applies directly to your attack and defense, which is very important given that you will be essentially a melee character who can't wear armor (a Protector Familiar can help increase your AC via Bodyguard).
Then, I would dip one level into Unchained Monk (Scaled Fist if you are planning to have positive Charisma) in order to have IUS, Stunning Fist and Improved Grapple for free. Remember that even with a low Wis, Stunning Fist can still be relevant as its DC scales with your character level. Feral Combat Training will allow you to flurry with your hair, which otherwise will NEVER get additional attacks by leveling up. This also gives you the opportunity to qualify for the X-breaker feat chain that you wanted.
To summarise, not including rogue talents, I'd do something like:
Stats: 7 14+2 14 16+2 12-2 12
1-UMonk(Scaled Fist), Weapon Finesse, IUS(B), Improved Grapple(B), Stunning Fist(B)
3-Witch, Weapon Focus (Hair)
5- Feral Combat Training (Hair)
7- Jawbreaker
9- Bonebreaker
11- Greater Grapple
13- Neckbreaker
The hair already uses Int for attack* and damage, as well as for Grapple maneuvers, so Weapon Finesse is a tad useless on the build.
Swapped to a Changeling, Mute-Born for +2 Int, +2 Wis, -2 Con. That puts starting Int at 20, though Dex is relatively low at 13. The hair also gains Reach as I level so being in Melee isn't so much of a concern. 1 level UCMonk though doesn't sound horribly bad however, as I do like the Neckbreaker feat like better than Kraken Style. +7 damage from Kraken not quite as fun as Neckbreaker 2d6 Str/Dex damage.
However, even with Flurry it would never be more than 1 attack. The character will never be in a position to be doing a full attack. Move will always be maintaining grapples, swift will be generally additional effects, and they are still a spellcaster. Against enemies she can't grapple she becomes likely a debuff/cc character.
*Edit: Further read, only damage, not attack, so correctly Finesse should be squeezed on there. Scaled Fist though I'm not 100% sold on. Cha for Monk stuff is nice, but keeping Wis could instead go Maneuver Master. With the Changeling Claws, that's 3 primary attacks, and additionally could squeeze in an extra maneuver if it ever happened rather than an extra attack that'll never get used. Plus the Wis still contributes to Will save.
-2 Con on a melee character with a d6 hit die? Seriously?
I'm a madman.
Bonus Natural Armor and Cat's Grace from the Agility patron should have respectable AC. And if I'm doing nothing but grappling things and strangling/breaking necks... If I take a hit I've done something wrong.
Plus with 20 Int start, my DCs are going to be hefty moving forward, even 1 CL behind, which could be supplemented with a trait.
If you're fighting two or more enemies at once, grappling one lowers your AC vs. the other(s). If you're planning on this then you want one of ironskin (generally a duergar-only spell, ask your GM) or mirror image (trickery patron), cat's grace won't be enough alone unless you generally fight only unusually weak enemies.
On the other hand if you're going for a good AC then you might like the snapping turtle style line, the second feat (ST clutch) lets you start a grapple when you're attacked and missed.
If you're fighting two or more enemies at once, grappling one lowers your AC vs. the other(s).
How? The White Haired Witch hair has the Grab quality, and specifies she doesn't gain the grappled condition, thus her AC would not be lowered. Unless I'm missing something. As of 4th level (5th with the Monk level) her hair also has reach, so really she shouldn't be in melee horribly often.
I'd missed 'When a white-haired witch grapples a foe in this way, she does not gain the grappled condition.', my mistake.
Relying on reach to stay out of melee is probably a mistake though. If you're 10' or 15' from the enemy they can get to you quickly enough. Against a half-BAB witch with poor strength (i.e. poor general CMD) many monsters will have the acrobatics needed to avoid AoOs on the approach. AC is a safer defence in that instance.
The reason to try to start a grapple off-turn is that a lot of grapple options require you to be maintaining a grapple, you can't do them on round 1.