Funniest SFS Moments


Starfinder Society Roleplaying Guild

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Grand Lodge ***** Venture-Agent, Florida—Melbourne aka trollbill

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Gnoll Leader: What sort of strange creatures are you? We have never seen anything like you before. You are not the Ghost, you are not a Shaggy One, you are not a Watcher. Are you Orcs. We have heard of Orcs.

Party: No, we are not Orcs. (gives party introduction)

Party: (Explains need for Gnolls to cooperate with the party)

Gnoll Leader: You're words sound wise, but this is not a decision I can make alone. The entire community must discuss this. You will be taken to a local home and given food and a chance to rest while I gather everyone and discuss this.

(Party is given a place to rest and given food. Gnolls check on them periodically to make sure they are doing okay. Several hours pass. Another meal is brought. More hours pass. Finally the Gnoll leader shows back up.)

Gnoll Leader: We have come to a decision.

Party: Yes?

Gnoll Leader: You are not Orcs.

Exo-Guardians

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Reposted from the crit deck thread, since I realized that it was better here anyway.

I tried to take someone captive in To Conquer the Dragon.

ME: "I take my hand off of my plasma lance and prepare for a nonlethal attack. The enemy is backed into a corner and will have to take an AoO if he does almost anything but stand still."

GM: "They shrug and try to cast a spell."

ME: "Uh, a natural 20. Unarmed critical hit for... 42 nonlethal damage..."

GM: "They are unconscious."

ME: "...and my gear boost gives my unarmed attacks the Wound critical... 8. Okay, and my boon means I roll twice for bleed and take highest, so... 6 Bleed. Nonlethal."

GM: "I'm not sure that's how Bleed works. You just ripped out his jugular."

ME: "Nonlethally!"

GM: "What is a nonlethal bleed effect?"

ME: "...A really serious paper cut? Crap, I need a Dermal Stapler or something."

***** ⦵⦵

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I put my ear up to the Tear. Does it hum or resonate or anything?

Okay, you hear this

Grand Lodge ***** Venture-Agent, Florida—Melbourne aka trollbill

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BigNorseWolf wrote:

I put my ear up to the Tear. Does it hum or resonate or anything?

Okay, you hear this

Could have been worse.

Wayfinders ***** ⦵⦵

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Charli looks up at the wolf and troll, and wags an accusatory finger. "You too owe Hmm a new keyboard for that! She spit all over mine clicking your links, and I don't have token spell!"

*

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Pathfinder Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Society Roleplaying Guild Subscriber

During Live Exploration Extreme I would routinely make the players "Enter the booth", sometimes pausing combat just to interview them. It was hilarious but then during the final combat I paused play to make the players go into the confession booth...and when they were done, I made the final boss go into the confession booth...and he had a British accent.

Grand Lodge ***

Pathfinder Tales Subscriber

#1-30 Survivor's Salvation
Party: My Sarcesian Operative, Morlamaw Operative [dubbed "Stealth Walrus"], Nuar Mechanic, Ysoki Mystic, Lashunta Solarion, and Lashunta Envoy.

Spoiler:
We follow clues to rescue a friend- to a run down building, being guarded by some gangsters. We decided to negotiate... with my sniper rifle. "Give back our friend, or my little friend *loads bullet into chamber* will be angry." Intimidate 20+. We get our friend back.
Following more clues to a shady "clinic" we enter into a crowded waiting room. How do we get the crowd to leave? *Hoists Sniper Rifle into air.* "EVERYONE OUT! I'M VERY DISGRUNTLED!" Another Intimidate 20+. With a couple of 20+ Diplomacy rolls from our friends, the crowd disperses.

Investigating said clinic, envoy gets attacked in small room. Everyone else helps, but my sniper can't get a clear shot- and notices two "suspicious figures" coming down the hallway. I tell the other operative and we try to take shot. And i mean WE TRY TO TAKE SHOTS... Whenever our trick attack worked, we missed the shot or vice versa.

We missed so often, the GM forgot he put them on the board. Only when other baddie goes down, the solarion comes in, to Super Nova the two baddies- for minimum damage, did the GM remember he put them on the table.

The two operatives don white suits of armor, and continues to consistently miss the baddies coming down the hall. Even after the Mystic climbed up the wall with one of the baddies following after to give us a better shot... Nope.
After finally defeating the baddies, both the operatives went to work on the local DeathStar...

Sczarni ***** ⦵⦵

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Starfinder Charter Superscriber

Witchwyrd Envoy steps up to talk to the deaf Vlaka.

Me: "She doesn't seem to understand you. Can't read your lips."
Him: "I take off my face wrap and repeat everything."
Me: (excitedly) "What's it look like?!"
Him: (excitedly) "I don't know!!"

Grand Lodge ***** ⦵⦵ Venture-Agent, Texas—Austin aka Partizanski

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Selvaxri wrote:

#1-30 Survivor's Salvation

Party: My Sarcesian Operative, Morlamaw Operative [dubbed "Stealth Walrus"], Nuar Mechanic, Ysoki Mystic, Lashunta Solarion, and Lashunta Envoy.
** spoiler omitted **

Out of the core crew of regulars with high level characters we have, one is an operative, and what you said describes level 1-6 for him.

He would only ever at most make either the attack roll or the trick attack, but never both. What is worse is that it was much more often that it would be only his trick attack roll that would succeed.

He played the character as a chain smoking alcoholic through those levels, then at 7, he cleaned up his act. Lo and Behold, he finally started consistently started hitting both his trick attack AND his attack roll.

Grand Lodge ***

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Pathfinder Tales Subscriber

Playing The Commencement in lieu letting our coordinator and regular GM a chance to play, and anticipation of some new players coming... We have one new player show up to try the game.

Spoiler:
To begin, immediately goes to the Acquisitive faction leader to get the Junk Race out of the way.
He tries to sabotage Ratrod's racer- fails his stealth roll, and doesn't get a chance to sabotage the ship.
The GM fails to read the part where they're escorted from the raceway. so, after a few rounds of trying to get allies and buffing our ship- the same player tries to sabotage another racer's ship and wants to plant a sample of Ratrod's fur. Fails his stealth roll again; this time ejected from the race way.
Player 2 tries to sabotage Ratrod's racer- and fails his stealth roll.

The GM reading, goes "oh... well... that's a way to deal with race." and collects the racer cards. "Yea, you're all ejected from the race way and <NPC> is disqualified. You've failed."

First time, anyone can remember failing the Race objective before we even begin the race.

Let's not mention the debacle that involved dressing up a corpse and attempting to falsify a death certificate for Historia 7.

Guess that happens with a Myrakoi Soldier/Mystic, two Elf Operatives, and an Android soldier do gopher-errands for faction leaders. Oh, and Zigg did get a copy of SSHL.

Grand Lodge ***** ⦵⦵ Venture-Captain, Online—PbP aka Hmm

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I was GMing First Mandate for a group of brand new players. One of the players, "The Chad" was playing a dumb as rocks soldier. He asked Ykris if Ykris would like to try out his body since he's so buff and manly. So Ykris said yes. Then he went off to talk to Zo! He convinced Ykris that it would be totally awesome for the two of them to impress Zo! with a show. They plan to attempt acrobatics by crashing into the bottom of the champagne fountain and using acrobatics to clear the bottom tier without having the other tiers break.

Ykris says, "Oh, I've never done that! Let's do it!"

The player then rolls a natural 1, crashes into the champagne tower, clears an entire table of fancy hors d'oerves, and wraps himself completely in the tablecloth as he lands in a shower of broken glass.

***** ⦵⦵

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I then held up my datapad and shouted, "That was awesome! I am totally posting that to Eoxian's Funniest Videos!"

And yes, I granted them the influence point. They deserved it.

*** Venture-Agent, Virginia—Portsmouth aka Pogiforce

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When running SFS 1-15 Save the Renkrodas,

Spoiler:
during the encounter where the PCs are in vehicles chasing the terrorists who were riding the Renkrodas, the Renkrodas scared out some flying animals. One of those flying animals proceeded to roll a critand hit the "driver" of the Renkrodas in the face, killing him instantly and sending him spiraling off the dinosaur's back into the underbrush.
We called it "getting Fabio'd".

For those who don't know, there's a story about how actor Fabio Lanzoni rode a roller coaster at our local theme park, and at the peak of the highest hill got smacked in the face full force by a goose.

Exo-Guardians ***

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I got squished in a trash compactor.

Taps metal plates in head

***** ⦵⦵

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"Hey, hey Sentients!" The Pact World's most famous gameshow host appears. "I was hosting a special episode of Live Action Extreme! when I polled the audience about the party's chances of survival! The results?
Hilarious!"

***** ⦵⦵

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Vlaaka Pilot: "If you don't like the way I fly GET OFF THE SIDEWALK"

Sovereign Court **** ⦵⦵⦵⦵ Venture-Agent, Georgia—Atlanta aka The Masked Ferret

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The time the Profession (Corporate Agent), who specialized in making big board presentations, got to make an actual board presentation in game.

I cannot tell you how excited the player was.

Starfinder Society Developer

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That time I ran a scenario that involved some wrecked vehicles, and one of the PCs explained how they were a Starfinder Forerunner who could "Fix Anything". At that point, I realized "HUH.... yeah, this is such a niche ability, that you can TOTALLY repair that ATV vehicle."

Just a fun moment of "Oh damn, the player has outplayed my writing!"

Sovereign Court **** ⦵⦵⦵⦵ Venture-Agent, Georgia—Atlanta aka The Masked Ferret

Thurston Hillman wrote:

That time I ran a scenario that involved some wrecked vehicles, and one of the PCs explained how they were a Starfinder Forerunner who could "Fix Anything". At that point, I realized "HUH.... yeah, this is such a niche ability, that you can TOTALLY repair that ATV vehicle."

Just a fun moment of "Oh damn, the player has outplayed my writing!"

I just missed the opportunity to do that to you for the second time...

Exo-Guardians

Thurston Hillman wrote:

That time I ran a scenario that involved some wrecked vehicles, and one of the PCs explained how they were a Starfinder Forerunner who could "Fix Anything". At that point, I realized "HUH.... yeah, this is such a niche ability, that you can TOTALLY repair that ATV vehicle."

Just a fun moment of "Oh damn, the player has outplayed my writing!"

And then we spent an hour trying to strap a fortified emplacement's laser turret to the buggy's roof. Winning!

Acquisitives *

RealAlchemy wrote:

A certain scenario started an encounter at ridiculously long range, and the enemies were sniping at us. I was playing a brand new dwarf heavy weapon soldier. I measured off the range - 5 range increments out. I told the GM, "OK, I am full attacking with an azimuth artillery laser."

"The penalty is -"
"You heard me."
The funny part is one of the two shots hit, to the shock of the enemies who were barely within sight.

I believe I recently played this one and the enemies were very caught off guard when someone had just as much* (read: technically more) range as they did and just started shooting them back :P

Grand Lodge ***** Venture-Agent, Florida—Melbourne aka trollbill

John "Trace" Taylor wrote:
RealAlchemy wrote:

A certain scenario started an encounter at ridiculously long range, and the enemies were sniping at us. I was playing a brand new dwarf heavy weapon soldier. I measured off the range - 5 range increments out. I told the GM, "OK, I am full attacking with an azimuth artillery laser."

"The penalty is -"
"You heard me."
The funny part is one of the two shots hit, to the shock of the enemies who were barely within sight.
I believe I recently played this one and the enemies were very caught off guard when someone had just as much* (read: technically more) range as they did and just started shooting them back :P

Yes. I would love to see more encounters like this where Sniper characters actually get to Snipe, and having a long ranged weapon actually matters.

*** Venture-Agent, Virginia—Portsmouth aka Pogiforce

I played in a party where not only did we have a sniper of our own for that part, we had a ysoki blitz soldier with jet dash. One guy is just counter sniping, while the other closed the gap REALLY fast.

The Exchange ***** Venture-Lieutenant, Texas—Dallas & Ft. Worth aka Belafon

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Thurston Hillman wrote:

That time I ran a scenario that involved some wrecked vehicles, and one of the PCs explained how they were a Starfinder Forerunner who could "Fix Anything". At that point, I realized "HUH.... yeah, this is such a niche ability, that you can TOTALLY repair that ATV vehicle."

Just a fun moment of "Oh damn, the player has outplayed my writing!"

This moment kept on giving to me both in the long and short term.

Long term, I proudly point to this moment every time someone complains about the fact that every single one of my characters has archetypes instead of (as they complain) "the good abilities."

Short term, what happened right after that was very amusing as well. Thursty knew the Field Fix ability, but he didn't remember all the details off the top of his head. After a very short drive in our recently repaired vehicle we start taking weapon damage:

Thursty: "It hits! How many Hit Points did you give back to the vehicle?"
Me: "Six."
Thursty: "Sixty what?"
Me: "No, six."
Thursty: ". . . Oh." (I swear I could actually see him mentally revising his estimate of how much the vehicle was going to alter his careful writing far, far downward.)

Grand Lodge *** ⦵⦵⦵ Venture-Lieutenant, Illinois—Chicago aka Lindley Court

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While playing a scenario involving fine dining and a psychic reading to determine what to eat, my pious and ascetic Knight of Golarion sniper thought very strongly about plain bread and room temperature water while getting her mind read.

Then a joke-playing ysoki party member told the chef it was my Knight's birthday, and to get her a cupcake. The chef was surprised, but went with it. Cue the following exchange:

Chef: "Miss Elika! It's your birthday, isn't it?? We have a big cupcake for you, covered in rainbow sprinkles!"
Me, out of character: Elika has a Wisdom of 8. She looks at the chef, at her comm unit, at the cupcake, andback at the chef, eyes getting increasingly wide.
Elika: "...It is?"

Starfinder Society Developer

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Kevin Willis wrote:

Thursty: "It hits! How many Hit Points did you give back to the vehicle?"

Me: "Six."
Thursty: "Sixty what?"
Me: "No, six."
Thursty: ". . . Oh." (I swear I could actually see him mentally revising his estimate of how much the vehicle was going to alter his careful writing far, far downward.)

*Insert GIF of ridiculous math formulae(s) floating around my head*

Sovereign Court **** ⦵⦵⦵⦵ Venture-Agent, Georgia—Atlanta aka The Masked Ferret

Thurston Hillman wrote:
Kevin Willis wrote:

Thursty: "It hits! How many Hit Points did you give back to the vehicle?"

Me: "Six."
Thursty: "Sixty what?"
Me: "No, six."
Thursty: ". . . Oh." (I swear I could actually see him mentally revising his estimate of how much the vehicle was going to alter his careful writing far, far downward.)
*Insert GIF of ridiculous math formulae(s) floating around my head*

lol

⦵⦵

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Starfinder Superscriber

Running 1-23 for Crittercon 2 a few weeks ago.

1-23:
The party makes it to the end/boss fight in the server room mostly without incident. They open the door and find the Jinsul Master and his followers in rapture. The server room is a bunch of catwalks hung from the ceiling some 50ft above the floor below and both the players and the Jinsul are all on the catwalks.

Combat begins and the Jinsul Master somehow manages to go last. He's a spellcaster though (the party doesn't know this, yet) and the party has made the mistake of all being in a giant bunch. So I have him cast explosive blast.

The Jinsul master rolls a 1 on the attack roll for explosive blast. I quickly look up the rules and it's really only if he's throwing it through a tiny opening that the attack roll matters. However, he is throwing it past a giant pilon and through a bunch of hanging posts holding up the catwalk, so I rule it applies. Roll the random landing spot and...

He hits two of his followers and none of the players.

Okay, we're still good though, he just needs to jump 10 ft across from the catwalk he's on to the one the players are on so he can move closer...

Athletics Check is a 4.

He drops 50ft to the ground and loses ~half his hitpoints to falling damage.

The players were entertained.

Scarab Sages ***** ⦵⦵

The party is chatting up some dinner guests, one of whom is a drift engine physicist of some renown. After a rocky start the star shaman is cranking out some high 30's low 40s checks to talk about the drift engine while using the party finger food into a demonstration and writing fourth dimensional math equations on the wall and ceiling

"so if we let this pudding represent the superfluid of interdimensional space... "

From the next table over

"Worried they're going to give away some secrets?"

"Starting to worry for the safety of our guests. That thing isn't going to WORK is it?" "

Acquisitives *

Kevin Willis wrote:


This moment kept on giving to me both in the long and short term.

Long term, I proudly point to this moment every time someone complains about the fact that every single one of my characters has archetypes instead of (as they complain) "the good abilities."

I was actually really debating Forerunner myself. My Operative (who I'm posting as ATM) considered himself a true master of vehicular operations and that's one thing I don't have atm...hrm...

*

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Society Roleplaying Guild Subscriber

The first time we met the Kish:
How do we know we can trust him?
Well, I mean, he has a sharpened stick and I have a laser gun...so even if he is lying, I like my odds.

He was totally lying...and I definitely shot that dude.

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