Settlements and trading posts near the barbaric lands have seen unusual numbers of attacks by orcs and other raiders. Many unprepared villages have suffered immense casualties. Behind the attacks, a cold, calculating plan draws every day people into a game they never agreed to play. After a desperate defense of their home, a plucky group of villagers tracked the messages coordinating a pair of orc attacks back to a hideout full of illusions. After finally fighting their way past the lies, they captured an agent of the Elven council. Instead of killing him to avenge their fallen, they dragged their captive to the authorities to get answers.
Hey all! I recently ran a one-shot in which a group of villagers defended their town against an orc warband, only to find it was all part of something much bigger. Some of the characters retired (for in-character and IRL reasons) while two players and I decided to build a campaign off of this. The players seek to do something about the grander scheme they have stumbled upon. We currently have a shaman and a skills-focused archer. We could use some additional muscle or arcane power packaged in characters who never expected to play the hero.
Here is the link to the existing gameplay thread.
Level 6
Races: Human, Dwarf, Halfling, Gillman, Ratfolk, Elf, Orc, Half-orc, Half-elf
Classes: Any paizo including unchained (optional).
20 point buy
2 traits or 3 and one drawback
2000 gp starting gold. The characters are currently well behind WBL due to their origins as villagers but that is not a long-term arrangement. There will be plenty of loot.
Characters should either be from the Bishopric of Helm (see Setting Details) or have some other emotional attachment to the Bishopric. Provide some explanation as to how an everyday person, such as yourself, has developed the powers of a 6th level character. Also explain how your character got wrapped up in the Elves’ plot. Perhaps you were one of the guards that is escorting the party and the captured elf. Perhaps you're a villager who's home was also attacked and you came to the capital looking for answers or help.
This is a homebrew setting. The Golarion pantheon is in use but homebrew religions are also welcome. The Kingdom of Iustia is composed largely of humans and a few other races. It shares an uneasy peace with the other great power on the continent, the United Elven Lands, which is ruled by a council of elders. The Bishopric of Helm is a small, semi-sovereign state that emerged as a diplomatic solution to a dispute between the two great powers. The Bishopric borders the untamed barbaric lands of orcs, goblins, and other “uncivilized” races.
Frequency: Post once per weekday and once per weekend. Communicate if an exception is upcoming.
Style: Be descriptive. Acknowledge and react to elements from other characters’ posts, and push the action forward.
Communication: Let me know when I mess something up or if you have an idea about how to improve the game.
PM me “Pawns can be promoted” so I know you read all of this and care to play.
I will add a campaign journal to my tagline when I finish getting it together. This will have a world map and some other details for those who are interested.
Recruitment will be open until July 10th, 5:00 EST.
Clarification regarding a PM question: While I'm not explicitly restricting alignments, characters should care about protecting the Bishopric of Helm and the weak in general. That's the jist of the storyline.
Current player chiming in -- I enjoyed the run-up campaign to this a good deal. It still feels weird to have heroic classes on this character, who began as an Expert.
It would be nice to have a new voice or two in the mix. I encourage you to go read (or at least skim) the Defense of Brookside to get a sense for how the GM runs things and how Perrin and Mel (the two continuing characters) have developed.
Hi GM,
Submitting here Roet for your appreciation :)
Thanks for the submission, Roet. Looks like the kind of build/flavor we're searching for.
Once I post some more setting info, you might revise the background a wee bit. E.g. Brookside is a very small farming community and doesn't have any mines but you could very easily be from another small village that has gone through the same things. But I haven't provided that info yet so no worries.
A note on Roet's backstory - the assault on Brookside took place two or three days ago in game time, so the chronology of your backstory's final paragraph doesn't quite work. There hasn't been time to join a caravan, much less go adventuring with one. So that aspect may need some tweaking.
Haha. Sorry, Roet. You're getting all of the attention in the thread because others are PMing me their questions. I promise we don't normally single people out for lots of feedback like this.
Is there a restriction on Archetypes?
Ranger -> Skystalker
and
Cavalier -> Hooded Knight
Just curious. :)
It’s alright! I appreciate the feedback, and will update the background to match it.
alright, I would like to join into this really cool looking adventure. It looks like you have the fighter types so that you might need an arcane. I think a natural caster like an oracle or a sorcerer or bard fits better then a wizard because at 6th level that seems like a lot of study.
I play a ton and I will go with anything really. Any preferences group wise for an arcane caster?
@Beln: I don't expectto restrict archetypes explicitly. An extremely cheesy build probably wouldn't be accepted but those two don't look cheesy. My only recommendation is to try to fit the idea of having a relatively humble background and current status. This can be compatible with flying around on a hippogriff but might be a little trickier to write.
@Roet: Cool. :)
@Edelsmirge: I agree that 6 levels of wizard wouldn't tend to fit the desired backgrounds terribly well. I think sorcerer or bard would make more sense as oracle might overlap more with the shaman we already have.
Oh man I was just driving to work today saying to myself/out loud to no one. I really want to play a farmer with a scythe. So if I can find time I have to apply.
I adjusted the backstory for Roet according to the conversation with the GM! Now it probably makes more sense. I apologize, it's tough to match exactly the world background when it's homebrew :)
No apologies necessary! I don't expect anyone to read my mind.
@Beln: I don't expectto restrict archetypes explicitly. An extremely cheesy build probably wouldn't be accepted but those two don't look cheesy. My only recommendation is to try to fit the idea of having a relatively humble background and current status. This can be compatible with flying around on a hippogriff but might be a little trickier to write.
I'm looking forward to the challenge! Also, I was trying not to make a chesy build i'm not much of an optimizer and more of a storyteller. Those weird builds are fun to me but this feels... Oddly fitting together.
I'm assuming there are a lot of Forest lands in Bishopric of Helm?
For Favored enemies I'm thinking about goblinoid or Orc. Is there any reason I should consider outside of those?
Character incoming in a few hours.
Ok sounds good. Yes there's plenty of forest. There's also hills, plains, and farmland.
Here are some favored enemies ordered from best to less great but still sensible.
Favored enemies that would most easily
fit a background: orc, goblinoid, human
Favored enemies that will prove most useful: Elf, human, orc, goblinoid.
All: After seeing some submissions, I'm going to strongly recommend good alignments to everyone. I think we'll find that fits the feel of "clay of the earth rises up to defend its people" that we're looking for much better.
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Mel, what type of archer are you doing? Did you go from expert to rogue? I had put together a low level fighter archer whose backstory I think would modify easily to fit in with this idea. Perhaps be interesting to be an elf with all fingers pointing at the elves as being the bad guys. However, I don't want to step on your toes if archery is your end all be all. It looks like you are more skill oriented though.
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@Cuthalian Whoops, I was posting under Mel's old profile -- she is an elf, but was initially disguised as a human, which has only recently been revealed.
Yes, she started as an Expert, and is now a Rogue with the Phantom Thief archetype from Ultimate Intrigue. She is absolutely better at skills than archery. Her full stat block is given in this profile that I'm posting from right now. Her archery feats consist (so far) of:
- Point-Blank Shot
- Precise Shot
- Weapon Focus (longbow)
- Deadly Aim
She's got good DEX and decent STR, but hasn't got the gear, the BAB, or the spare feats to really become a master archer. And because the Phantom Thief archetype eliminates Sneak Attack, she is just never going to be that great at dishing out damage.
In terms of story, it might be a bit much to have TWO elves in the party when they're the bad guys. When I built Mel, we had no idea that elves were the culprits. She was a replacement for my first character, Cyrus Lem, who died nobly in the first fight. I picked elf largely because we had no ranged characters and it was an easy way to get longbow proficiency. Then I came up with a backstory (also in this profile) to justify her presence in Brookside, which had exactly zero elves before she showed up.
In retrospect maybe the lack of elves should have been a tip-off. But I didn't notice. And it's led to some good story. Discovering that the whole thing was an elven plot put Mel in quite the spot: she had to choose between betraying her people, or her sense of justice. She chose justice, and I suspect that the long-term consequences are going to be pretty dire. Probably the best she can hope for is to be a pariah and exile. At worst, the elven council might send assassins.
@All: I added a quick campaign journal to my tagline. I left out a ton of detail to keep it readable. This might help those really trying to get into how to build their character/backstory. Let me know if you have more questions as I didn't want to overwhelm the doc with a full breakdown of too many details.
Good to see the interesting ideas people have been generating.
Need a front line fighter?
Need some spell casting?
I present to you...the Iron Caster. A dwarf smith (and rune smith!)
Kazadaor has been called many names. Drunkard. Lout. Gambler. Trouble maker. The Clanless.
This was not always so. Once, Kazador had a clan. He and his people worked mines within the untamed lands. Surrounded as they were by orcs, giants, and other uncivilized races, life was rarely easy. But the dwarves kept to themselves, only traveling to the Bishopric of Helm to sell their goods, and to buy that which they could not produce for themselves.
That was in the past. Kazador now lives within the Bishopric in a destitute state. Every once in awhile he will manage to earn enough money as a smith to pull himself out of the gutter, but inevitably he will just drink his way back to the bottom. He has never spoken of what had happened to his clan, only that they were 'taken from him.' The seething fury in his eyes is usually enough to deter anyone from asking further.
Unwashed, often hungry, and reeking of ale, Kazador is currently not a pleasant sight. Which is why his hammer is such an odd sight. Polished, and shining with silver, it is obviously worth quite a pretty penny. Many a thief has tried to steal it. Most have left broken. Some crippled. Some wound up dead. There is nothing that Kazador cherishes as much as his hammer. No matter how low he sinks, he has never even considered selling it. Not only is it his last link to his home, but it is also his focus. While he is a trained smith, he also is a practitioner of runic magic. The act of carving runes into stone, storing arcane power within, and then releasing it. His hammer is one such item that he can work his craft on. To give it away would mean to forfeit the last shred of self that he has left.
His life has not been an easy one. Certainly, he has learned how to fight. One does not make the perilous journey through the untamed lands without knowing how to swing a hammer. His time on the streets has also turned him into a skilled brawler, able to use his hands, feet, and head, to devastating effect.
At the moment, what he is looking for, is a way out. A cause he can believe in...a meal in his stomach, coins in his pouch. So far he has tried unsuccessfully to join the Bishopric's armed forces, the city guard, and several mercenary companies. To date, all have smelled the ale on his breath and refused.
But now? Now it is different. In large part because he is dead broke. He knows that he has to do something...anything...to change the trajectory of his life. He knows that he is no hero. But at the same time, he doesn't want to drink himself to death, or end up with a slit throat after insulting the wrong person. So all that he can do is look for any band of armed ruffians, adventurers, or other assorted wanderers, and hope that they will take him in.
Iron Caster Build: Weapon Master Fighter (4) Brawler (1) Monk of Many Styles (1)
See profile for build. But yes, need all 3 classes to pull it all off.
* Kazador has 4x uses per day of Martial Flexibility.
* Each time he uses it, he can use Advanced Weapon Training Feat
https://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/combat-feats/advanced-weapon-training-combat /
* This lets him do this: "Item Mastery: The fighter gains an item mastery feat as a bonus feat, which functions with any magic weapon he wields, even if the magic weapon does not meet the feat’s normal requirements. He must meet all of the feat’s prerequisites."
Item Mastery lets him do many things, especially as he no longer needs to meet the normal item requirements.
https://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/item-mastery-feats
He can get +2 Str that lasts for 24 hours
He can cure wounds
He can restore stat loss
He can dispel magic
He can fly
He can go invisible or see invisible enemies
He can curse an enemy
Etc
Basically, it's like having 4x spell slots that can be used on various effects. Which goes down to 3x due to the plan of always using one slot to push his Str up to 18.
Sadly, due to the 2000 gold starting, all I could afford was his hammer, which is needed for this build to work. But...I think that I more or less made it work out.
Right now Kazador only has his hammer. He is completely unarmored, and has a piddly AC of 15. This will have to do until he can get himself something to wear.
That said, he has style feats! Once someone hits him, he will have +4 dodge AC against that opponent until the end of combat.
So, for example.
Kazador is fighting a group of orcs. Orc 1 runs up and rolls a 17, hitting him. For the rest of the fight, Kazador's AC goes from 15->19 vs that orc.
Round 2, Orc 1 rolls another 17 to hit. He misses. Orc 2 rolls a 17, he hits. Kazador's AC goes from 15->19 vs that orc as well.
This will come in useful once Kazador can start getting himself some equipment. While he can get by unarmored, he really will need some armor and a buckler to shine.
But at the moment, he is at rock bottom. His armor all sold off for food, lodging, and of course, hard drink...
Whew! There we go. I hope that this explains how someone can be lvl6, and at the same time be far from a hero. It should also hopefully fill in the needs of the party.
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I often forget to mention hp in recruitments. Avg of the hit die rounded up+relevant modifiers. d6->4, etc.
Despite some of the elf hate, I'm willing to take a shot at it.
I offer Reniedir and Stormmane! The Wandering Elven Border Warden who stalks the skies for his most hated enemy. Orcs (+Goblinoids). Alongside his feisty and fey-touched prankster Hippogriff Stormmane. The pair flies and patrols the borderlands for trouble, he is Sworn to the Order of the Land.
Still putting together some of the magic items.
Took Variant race abilities:
* Fey Magic - Representing his time with the Fey
(Spells Selected 0 lvl - Create Water, Mending and Stabilize. 1st lvl - Shield Companion - Since Flying mounts are awfully easy to shoot)
* Vigilance (+2 AC vs Chaotic Creatures - Fitting for his Orc/Goblinoid Hunting Persona)
He has a few masterwork weapons and gear but the only magical item so far is the muleback cords for Stormmane. Figured upping his strength/carrying ability would better fit the story of taking unconscious people and depositing them near towns.
Making some finishing touches but the crunch and some backstory are in there. If there is a need for corrections. Please let me know!
Also: Edit1
Do we need to have a Civilian class?
If so I can add it in, Warrior would be fitting for his time in the military.
Also, I combined the classes mainly because it makes for a eat and intriguing combo. If its too cheesy or unfitting for the story I can drop either or. Let me know!
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I present Cuthalian Strong Bow, hunter, fighter, and angry at the world. Character details are in the profile.
They built a small cabin outside of town and began a small farm. Garran was an avid hunter and would go out on two or three day hunts. After returning from one such hunt he found the home ransacked and his beautiful Ilsa badly beaten. Later, it became obvious she had been raped by the orcs that had raided the farm. Garran was a good man and did not turn Ilsa out. Instead, they had the child and he raised the boy, Cuthalian, as his own. He taught him to hunt and he taught him to hate those who would take things by force.
On a couple of occasions, they had defended themselves against orc raids. More recently, the raids had grown in size and intensity. Finally, the family sought refuge in the nearest village and Cuthalian set out to petition the leadership at Helm for help.
I'm interested in making a bloodrager and I am debating about whether to go for Dragon disciple. If I did, would the blood of dragons ability empower bloodrager draconic bloodline the way it does sorcerer bloodline?
Reneidir: Civilian classes are not required. The lead-up adventure was played only using NPC classes but the players have just now transitioned to heroic classes.
Gavmani: Yes I rule that it stacks. RAW, it doesn't but I'd rule that it does as it seems like an oversight.
Thanks but I've decided not to go that route. This is the first time I've played a bloodrager, and I don't want to make it too complicated.
Hmm..I've just noticed the original recruitment thread was for 5th level NPC classes (Adept, Expert, Noble, etc.), is that what you expect from our submission? so 5th <NPC Class>/1st <PC Class>?
No the players have converted to entirely heroic (PC) classes now. I'm looking for a build made entirely of 6 heroic levels, unless someone wants npc levels for some reason.
Seems like a fun concept. I might whip up a blustery old rogue who's always pretended he was some noble knight of some long lost legend, but of course, everyone knows he's not. And now, he's got the opportunity to live his lie.
Reneidir: Civilian classes are not required. The lead-up adventure was played only using NPC classes but the players have just now transitioned to heroic classes.
Thanks for update! Still finishing the last touches such as a drawback and will let you know when it's done. I fly for work and heading home at the moment. Super excited with all these builds! It's really neat.
Fun to see the quality submissions arising for this. It'll be some work to evaluate them all and choose just two!
This definitely sounds interesting. I'm working on a middle-aged Ratfolk Witch. I'm from Brookside but have done my best to hide my powers all of my life while helping out from the shadows. Coming out of hiding only because my hiding means that I can't use my powers as effectively against the enemy.
CS mostly done and will be posted shortly. Background might be done tonight but definitely done by tomorrow.
As one of the players that had to retire from the ongoing campaign, YOU MUST APPLY! This has easily been one of my best PBP experiences on the board, and I wish you all luck in your applications. :) Enjoy!
Okay, I'm going to post my characters background for comment and to see if there are any compatibility isues:
Olar Ironthew was born to the Ironthew family in the village of Ribblefield. Being Half-Orcs, they were initially distrusted and took a distant farmstead so as to minimise contact, but time dulled the initial mistrust a little and their Eldest son, Olar earned some grudging repect for his skill with the militia, so much so that he started to train with the family Greatsword, heirloom of a long-dead Great Uncle whose exploits were the topic of many family mealtimes. Among other things, his great uncle was noted for his "Bloodrage", an ability that warped his body into a powerful muscled form and gave him greater endurance.
Life was quiet in Ribblefield; The occasional Goblin raid was the most exciting thing that ever happened, and Olar was settling into a life of subsistence farming, eked out by a little trapping in the nearby wilds.
Then the Orcs came. Olar was out trapping in the woods when he saw the plume of smoke from the family farmstead. Running back, he found his worst fears confirmed: His parents and siblings were dead. Grief and rage combined and something within him woke; his body transformed into a huge mass of muscle and claw and he lay about him, scattering Orcs left and right. Despite being heavily outnumbered, Olar slew the entire patrol, taking massive damage in the process. he even chased down those that tried to flee and spared them no mercy.
When it was all over, the rage left him, and his body transformed back into it's normal self and he was overcome by his wounds and fell unconscious. Several hours later, he awoke and, realising that more Orcs could come at any time (for he could see that the entire village in the distance had been set alight), he scavenged what he could, finding (and drinking) the family's potion of cure light wounds, as well as the family Greatsword and a nice set of armour off the Orc leaders body, along with some basic equipment then he set off for the capital, seeking help.
I would guess that he would be at the capital a couple of days before the pcs arrive. Long enough to recuperate and explore his new-found "bloodrage" powers a little, as well as pick up a couple of scrolls and potions. He probably would have heard some scuttlebutt about the pcs prisoner and would be eager to find out what he could. The crunch can be found here
I would guess that he would be at the capital a couple of days before the pcs arrive. Long enough to recuperate and explore his new-found "bloodrage" powers a little, as well as pick up a couple of scrolls and potions. He probably would have heard some scuttlebutt about the pcs prisoner and would be eager to find out what he could. The crunch can be found here
This background fits with the adventure.
Whomever is selected, we'll have to fine-tune a little with wherever they enter the plot.
Just an update:
Completed Applications
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Adsapiens: Roet- Brawler 6
Grumbaki: Kazador- Fighter 4/Brawler 1/Monk 1
Corerue: Reneidir-Cavalier 3/Ranger 3
Ironperenti: Cuthalian-Fighter 6
Gavmania: Olar-Half-orc Bloodrager
Edelsmirge: Jarithe the Hunter-Bard 6?
Let me know if I missed you.
That’s correct. :)
And if you are worried that Kazador will be a multiclass nightmare, worry not. He’ll go Sentinel PrC as his main class once he finishes his transformation from town drunk to an adventuring hero.
Also switched Weapon specialization for extra Martial Flexibility. So after giving himself Str18 for the day, he will have 6 Spell Slots left to use.
I don't see me on the list. Ratfolk Witch-6
History completed on my CS. If I need to change the formatting or details, let me know.
I don't see me on the list. Ratfolk Witch-6
History completed on my CS. If I need to change the formatting or details, let me know.
Yes you messaged me that you had finished right after I put up the list. New list:
Completed Applications
---------------------------------------------
Adsapiens: Roet- Brawler 6
Grumbaki: Kazador- Fighter 4/Brawler 1/Monk 1
Corerue: Reneidir-Cavalier 3/Ranger 3
Ironperenti: Cuthalian-Fighter 6
Gavmania: Olar-Bloodrager 6
Edelsmirge: Jarithe the Hunter-Bard 6?
AGM Lemming: Keeyan Rayahn-Witch 6
Some tight competition for a melee muscle spot and less so for an arcane caster spot. Interesting. We'll probably end up inviting one of each to join. It's going to be hard to choose.
Krixus is done ready to go. A mix of melee and arcane. Thanks for the consideration. Looks like I sent the PM as Hadran and not my main posting account :)
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RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32
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Here's my entry for Arla Fuller, a good mix of melee and arcane for the build. She's a half-elf tax collector from Helm who has an axe to grind with the elves and their nation. I imagine she would be the perfect candidate to escort everyone back to Helm.
Female Half-Elf Magus (Eldritch Scion) 6
NG Medium Humanoid (elf, human)
Init +2; Perception +7
SQ Low-light vision, Bloodline: Arcane
Defense
AC 16, 12 touch, 14 flat-footed (+4 armor, +2 Dex);
HP 45 (6d8+12)
Fort +7 Ref +4 Will +6
Special Elf-Scorned: +2 AC vs elves
Offense
Speed 30 ft, 20 ft in armor
Melee +8 masterwork cold iron scimitar (1d6+3, 18-20/x2); or +7 morningstar (1d8+3, x2)
Ranged +6 composite longbow (1d8+3, x3, 110 ft. range)
Special Attacks Elf-Scorned: +1 attack vs elves, disruptive bloodrage
Magus Spells (CL 6th; Concentration +9; spells marked with (SB) are from the spell blending arcana)
2nd (4/day): anticipate thoughts, bladed dash, glitterdust, flurry of snowballs
1st (5/day): blade lash, burning hands, burst of adrenaline (SB), glue seal, shocking grasp, touch of blindness (SB)
0th: arcane mark, daze, detect magic, grasp, light, read magic
Statistics
Str 16 Dex 14 Con 14
Int 10 Wis 8 Cha 16
Base Atk +4; CMB +6; CMD 18
Feats Blind-Fight, Extra Arcane Pool, Step Up (bonus)
Skills (Only skills with ranks listed) ACP -1
- Intimidate +12 (6 ranks)
- Perception +11 (6 ranks)
- Use Magic Device +12 (6 ranks)
Languages Common, Elven
SQ Low-light vision, elf blood, keen senses, elf-scorned, dual minded, bloodline (arcane), eldritch pool, cantrips, spell combat, disruptive bloodrage, spellstrike, wand wielder arcana, arcane bloodrage, bonus feat, spell blending arcana (2 1st level)
Traits Magic: arcane revitalization; Social: seeker
Favored Class Magus: +6 skill ranks
Equipment:
Weapons and ArmorComposite longbow +3 Str, 20 arrows
Masterwork chain shirt
Masterwork cold iron scimitar
Morningstar
ConsumablesPotion of cure light wounds x4
Scroll of obscuring mist
Wand of vanish (50 uses)
Other GearGambeson
Magus’s kit
Traveler's outfit
Funds
23 gold
Once she was of age, Arla decided to follow in her mother’s footsteps by working in the logistical lower rungs of Helm’s government. Finding the life of a clerk confining, though, Arla sought work that would take her on the road. An old aunt who used to be a guard taught her to use a blade, to defend against those who would take advantage of a lone traveler. She took whatever courier and messenger tasks for which the Bishropric needed a runner, traveling the roads from Helm as far as Iustia. Early in her career, when passing close to the border of the Elven Lands, Arla was ambushed by a group of elven toughs demanding her coin and her parcels. In different circumstances, perhaps Arla would have simply cut her losses, but the taunting elves hurling insults of “half-breed” and worse drove her to violence instead. It was difficult to fight several foes at once, and Arla’s anger rose as she tried to defend herself in a losing battle. Something in her boiled with wrath and pride as she was driven back, exploding forth from her hand in a blast of lightning that surprised both her and her attackers. She pressed this advantage, blade in hand, and soon the elves retreated to nurse their cuts and burns.
Arla’s newfound potency filled her with smug delight. The elves, for all their reputation of skill in blade and spell, couldn’t stand up to her own power. She guessed it may have had something to do with her father’s elven blood coursing through her - the only good thing that had come from him besides his involvement in her being born. She took on bolder assignments, honing her skills against would-be highwaymen on the roads and orc scouting parties near the southern border and gaining renown and respect from the Bishopric for her reliability.
Through years of service, Arla was promoted to the Bishopric’s Coroner: to investigate troubles in the smaller communities outside of Helm and to collect taxes. Her reputation as a formidable government official usually kept her from being attacked on the roads, but when it didn't her talent with blade and spell kept her safe, along with the missives or taxes see transported. Recently, reports of an orcish assault on the small settlement of Brookside have set her on a path to investigate the matter and make record of the deceased. She's since arrived in Astin, and heard from the local guards that people have arrived from Brookside with news of the attack and an elf prisoner. Perhaps Captain Hannady would know more about the curious new arrivals. She set off for the local barracks, eager for news but worried about the involvement of the elf - something felt wrong, and she would get to the bottom of this.
All: Something that strengthens backgrounds, imo, is if I get a decent idea of what a character's preferences, dislikes, etc are to give me some idea of the flavor you'd bring. Examples: Hatred for all animals, greed for fancy clothes, burning passion to free all slaves, odd apathy towards food and comfort, etc.
I'm providing a fair amount of feedback at this stage as this is a PBP game near and dear to my heart. Once players are accepted, they are what they are and I'm not going to try to edit them unless something is extremely wrong. Now's my chance. And I also figure that most people won't mind hearing my opinions. You don't have to bow to all of my preferences to get accepted, by any means. Just figured I'd voice my thoughts. If I haven't given your submission any feedback yet, don't worry. I probably will. ;)
Some feedback for recent submissions:
Interesting backstory! I like the adoption angle, particularly in this setting. A couple of things might make the fit with the setting even better:
1. Half-orcs are very rarely accepted in this setting as the traditional hatreds for orcs are particularly strong. You could play up this angle a little more.
2. The Kitharodian Academy doesn't really feel right to me, at least not as something that would be likely to exist in the modest Bishopric of Helm. Perhaps Krixus learned his art differently (e.g., retired blademaster somewhere).
Very cool submission overall. Love the flavor.
Good stuff! I enjoy your unique relationship with elf-dom and how tightly you've tied yourself into the current plot arc. A couple of things that you might consider:
1. In this setting, elves tend to be sophisticated and manipulative. Elven bandits or thugs on the border seem a little strange to me.
2. A burst of arcane power in a critical situation sounds a bit more like spontaneous magic than prepared magic and thus doesn't seem to be flavor completely consistent with the magus class.
Great work. I like her role in the Bishopric's bureaucracy.
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RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32
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1. Elven bandits do seem out of the ordinary in that context. Perhaps they could be scouts or spies who sought to gain political advantage by intercepting whatever intelligence she was carrying. Perhaps being goaded into attacking them would have been politically disastrous, were it not equally bad for the Elven Lands to admit they had attempted such a ploy.
2. Yes, normally I'd agree, but I've taken the eldritch scion archetype which lets me be a charisma based, spontaneous caster version of a magus.